Jones, Beverly R

by All Things Sacred (Lit) (Triskelion)

  And what of the strange memory she’d had about misappropriated money and the threatening nature of the man who had choked her. Just what had she been involved in and what kind of people had she allowed to be a part of her life? Had she truly been someone who was always looking for trouble and finding herself in the middle of terrible things she couldn’t escape? Was that why she ended up here in the first place? Because she had been escaping another tragedy in her life?

  Maybe Cynthia was right. Maybe Kendall had been the kind of person who would have antagonized the man who injured her that day near Logan City. Perhaps Casey wasn’t telling her the whole truth about the incident because she wanted to spare Kendall’s feelings. Kendall wondered if she must have been such an abrasive, irresponsible person that trouble just seemed to follow her everywhere.

  And now look what she was allowing to happen. She was falling in love with Jackson Coley, a man who had simply come to her rescue when she had nowhere else to turn, a man who had obviously been deeply involved with Cynthia Gamble long before Kendall exploded into their lives like a bolt from the blue. Her coming between Jackson and Cynthia seemed like a dishonorable thing to do, and yet Kendall felt no dishonor in her growing feelings for Jackson.

  And it wasn’t as if she hadn’t sensed the same emotions in him. When he had kissed her in the rain, he had been so sensual, had looked at her with eyes that showed an undeniable tenderness and passion. She had not once seen him look at Cynthia that way, neither had she ever noticed any particular warmth between Jackson and Cynthia, so perhaps Cynthia’s obsession with Jackson was more one-sided than Cynthia wanted to believe.

  Well, Kendall supposed none of that mattered now, anyway. Jackson obviously wanted nothing more to do with her. And he was probably right in his reluctance to get too involved with her, a woman with amnesia and a past that may be of a questionable nature. Still, she knew the way she felt about Jackson came from an honest heart, nothing more. She would never do anything that would bring harm to Jackson, Casey or Tom. So if Kendall had been of such ignominious character before the amnesia, why didn’t she feel like that now? She found it difficult to consider herself the type of person Cynthia had attempted to describe.

  If Kendall could just remember everything, perhaps she could right any wrongs she had been a part of in the past. If she’d gotten involved in something less than honorable, it must have been a big mistake. It must have been. She desperately wanted to believe that. “God, please let me remember everything. Please,” she cried as she leaned forward and laid her forehead on her knees.

  Moments later, Kendall heard Jackson and Cynthia outside at the car. Their voices were muted, but she could hear the distinct sound of Cynthia’s laughter. Kendall couldn’t help feeling a stabbing pain to her heart. As insensible as it may be for Jackson to get involved with her, she couldn’t help feeling hurt by his avoidance of her.

  She heard the sound of the car engine coming to life, then tires crunching as they moved down the gravel drive. She was here alone now. Tom and Casey weren’t due back till much later. Kendall raised her head, her tears having dried into salty streaks on her cheeks, and saw that Sam stood in the stall across from her. She empathized with the seemingly gentle horse. They were both prisoners in their own way, even if at one time it was of their own making. She knew Jackson would be furious with her if she did what she was thinking. She didn’t ponder the thought long, though, before she arose from the dirt floor, brushed the dust from her jeans and headed toward the tack room.

  “Sam, you and I are both going to escape our demons, even if only for one afternoon,” she called to the horse as she went to retrieve a saddle. ***

  Kendall raised her face to the sky, noting the position of the sun. It must be pretty late, she thought to herself, and looked out once again across the pond’s surface. She had no idea how long she’d been sitting on the flat, smooth boulder, comforted by the stillness of the water, lost in desolate thoughts. Sam drank once again from the pond, then lifted his head inquisitively before turning to share a knowing glance with Kendall. It was as if he sensed her feelings of loneliness and desperation and wanted her to know he did not judge her, but waited patiently for the moment she would return to him so that they could once again soar across the open fields. Kendall had not even bothered to tie his reins to a nearby branch. Her instincts about Sam were as reliable as his seemed to be about her. They were merely grateful for the opportunities they had afforded one another. Freedom. Serenity. Or maybe just the chance for a change of scenery.

  Kendall sat up straighter as she noticed Sam’s ears stiffen and point skyward. He had become suddenly alert, his head poised and still. Kendall became alarmed, not because she feared danger, but because she feared that Jackson was approaching. What if he’d returned home early and had found her out? What if he’d seen that Sam was missing from the stables and had gone in search of her? She imagined the scowl planted on his face. Sam walked over to where she sat and began nuzzling her head, as if he wanted her to get up. She sat still, holding her breath as she heard the faint snapping of twigs, the crunch of pine straw. She looked toward the opening of the narrow trail that emerged from the forest as a horse appeared, its rider ducking his head to avoid a low-slung branch. It was Tom.

  “I thought I might find you here,” he said as his horse sauntered over to where she sat.

  “Jackson’s not home yet, is he?”

  Tom laughed. “No. Lucky you. But he’s due back any time now. I noticed Sam missing from the stable and figured you’d probably escaped with him.”

  “What time is it?” Kendall asked, still feeling a bit alarmed.

  “Close to six.”

  “Goodness.” She stood and brushed the dirt from the seat of her jeans. “If he finds me here with Sam, he’ll go off like a bottle rocket.”

  “That’s why I figured I’d best find you before he did. You’d better hurry if you want to beat him home.”

  “Lord, I figured it was getting late, but I hadn’t figured it was that late. Daylight savings time has a way of fooling you. I haven’t even started supper yet.”

  “Casey’s already started it,” Tom announced, then added with a grin, “All the more reason for you to hurry.”

  Kendall gathered Sam’s reins and mounted quickly. She and Tom rode single file through the narrow, wooded path, Kendall in front. Emerging from the forest, they immediately spurred their horses into a gallop and covered the remaining distance to home in less than four minutes. Kendall quickly scanned the yard, looking for Jackson’s car. No sign of it, thank goodness. Cynthia’s car still stood where she’d parked it.

  She had just dismounted and was leading Sam back to the stables when she caught sight of a small cloud of dust to her right. It was Jackson’s car, less than a tenth of a mile away, heading slowly down the long gravel drive toward home. Kendall picked up her pace and looked to Tom, who already had the stable doors open, waiting for her. He motioned with his hand for her to hurry along, and when she caught up with him at the entrance to the stable, he took Sam’s reins from her and began leading the horse inside. Jackson’s car had nearly reached the yard.

  “You go on in,” Tom said to her. “I’ll take care of Sam.”

  Kendall didn’t protest, just offered Tom an appreciative smile and nod, then turned and sprinted toward the back porch. She was safely inside the house before Jackson had even parked the car.

  After turning off the ignition, Jackson sat for a moment, trying to remain calm. He didn’t want to blow up at her again over that horse. He remembered what an ass he’d made of himself the first time. But he also thought he’d made himself clear, that he wanted her to stay away from Sam.

  “Well, are you going to get out of the car?” Cynthia asked as she emerged from the passenger’s side and looked back at him.

  “Yeah. In a minute. You go on. I’ll see you later.”

  “I thought I’d stay for a while,” Cynthia said, her brow knitted in confusion.

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nbsp; “It’s getting late and I’ve got things to do.”

  She leaned down as she stood next to the car and glared in at him, perturbed at his brushing her off. Remembering her eventual objective, though, she managed to curb her resentment and forced a smile. “If you say so. And thanks for today, Jackson. It was fun.”

  “What?” Jackson asked distractedly, not looking at her, then added, “Oh. Yeah. Sure. Bye, Cynthia.”

  “Well, goodbye, then,” Cynthia spat as she slammed the car door.

  Jackson turned at the sound and he watched as Cynthia got into her car and began driving away. He shook his head and groaned. He had to stop doing this. Sure, it was a way to get him away from the house for a while, away from the ever-enticing Kendall, but Cynthia was fast getting on his last nerve. Whatever friendship he may have thought they once had was now turning into what seemed more like an obligation than fun. And she was always getting mad about something.

  He dismissed any further thoughts of Cynthia from his head and emerged from the car. He strode toward the stable, intent on his purpose, yet reminding himself to keep his temper in check. He found Tom inside, just as he knew he would, removing the saddle from his horse. Sam stood in a nearby stall, already unsaddled.

  “You know, I may have been pretty far down the road when she took off running to the house, but I’m not blind,” Jackson said as he leaned against the wooden slats.

  “Go easy on her, huh? I think she’s had a rough day.” Tom said, carrying his saddle to the tack room as Jackson followed.

  “Well, it would have been a hell of a lot rougher if that horse had thrown her. What were you two doing out there, anyway? What were you thinking, letting her ride that horse?” In spite of his efforts, Jackson’s demeanor was growing more distressed by the moment.

  “I didn’t let her do anything. She’s a grown woman. She can do what she wants. And that horse hasn’t got a bad bone in its body,” Tom said calmly as he turned to face Jackson. “Look, I know Sam used to have a pretty wild streak in him and something terrible happened out there six years ago, but I don’t think any of us will ever know exactly what it was. How ever Melissa fell from that horse, we don’t know for sure it was because of Sam’s disposition. And even if it was, that was six years ago. As far as I can tell now, Sam doesn’t seem to be much of a threat to anyone. You should have seen him running toward home. It was a beautiful sight, like he was enjoying it as much as Kendall was.”

  Jackson stood listening quietly, the look of agitation on his face slowly turning to one of mere impatience. He sighed and rubbed a hand across his mouth. “You know how I feel about anyone riding that horse, Tom. If the two of you wanted to go for a ride, why couldn’t you have just saddled another horse for her? Why Sam?”

  “We didn’t go for a ride. She went out there by herself, and—”

  “She what?” Jackson exploded. “What the hell is wrong with that woman?”

  “You ought to know that better than anyone,” Tom said pointedly.

  Jackson looked away, unresponsive.

  “Look, I know you’re worried about her safety, but she’s fine,” Tom continued. “She can handle Sam. I found her at the pond, sitting on a rock. And there was Sam, just standing near her, untied, nuzzling her, like the two of them were kindred spirits.”

  “Great,” Jackson said with false indignation. “Just what I need. Another liability. She breaks her neck and then what?”

  Tom laughed. “God, you’re as stubborn as you think she is. And you know what else? You’re not as smart as I thought you were, either.”

  Jackson looked at Tom, dumbfounded. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Just that you’re smart when it comes to envisioning the future of acres and acres of farmland, but not smart enough to envision what could be right in front of your face. My God, Jackson, when I found her out there, I’ve never seen anyone looking so dejected. I wonder why that is?” Tom hung the bridle on an empty hook and walked out of the tack room.

  “You’re talking in riddles,” Jackson huffed as he followed Tom toward the stable door.

  “Oh, yeah?” Tom laughed again, then stopped and turned to face Jackson. “Well, how plain is this for you? I weeded through a lot of undesirables, too, before I met your sister. And then I knew. Not because I had suddenly become so intuitive. But because Casey made it so easy. Easy for me to see when everything is just as it should be. And then I realized I must be the smartest man on earth to have recognized it. I thought you were at least as smart as I was.” Tom turned then and resumed walking out of the stable. “I guess you’re not.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jackson persisted, though his voice sounded decidedly uncertain.

  “Yes, you do,” Tom called over his shoulder without even looking back or slowing his pace. “Oh, yes, you do.”

  ≈≈≈

  Jackson closed the desk drawer and stood, scraping his chair against the hardwood floor. He ran a hand through his hair and thought about whether he should confront her. This last week had seemed like an interminably long one. Getting through each day had tired him more than usual. He had gone to great lengths to avoid Kendall. She had seemed so angry with him when he’d apologized for kissing her. And after his talk with Casey and then Tom, he knew the best thing for him to do was to keep his distance from Kendall altogether. If it were obvious to his sister and her husband that something was growing between Kendall and him, then he had let things get way out of hand.

  He knew Casey and Tom were only trying to help, but they didn’t fully understand the situation.

  There were too many ‘what-ifs’ where Kendall was concerned, and he wasn’t about to fall deeply in love with her just to have her walk out of his life or turn out to be someone other than who he had imagined. He’d made that mistake enough, hadn’t he? Besides, he didn’t know anything about Kendall or who she was. Except the one thing about her that really mattered. Jackson flinched, as if the thought had been implanted in his brain by some alien source. He forced the pervading thought from his head as if it were a life-threatening demon and reminded himself not to entertain thoughts like that.

  He was determined now to maintain a friendly, but cool, association with her. But it had been more difficult than he’d thought. Having spent days dodging her tracks and forcing himself not to initiate conversation with her when the instinctive thing to do was just the opposite, it had taken its toll on his physical stamina as well as his nerves.

  He didn’t want to get involved in another go-round with Kendall now, especially about money, but he didn’t see any way to avoid it. She hadn’t cashed any of the paychecks he’d left on her dresser, and she needed the money. Each Friday afternoon for the last three weeks he had placed them there and was hopeful that she had put them in an account of her own. But his bank statement showed that not even the first one had been processed.

  Somehow this didn’t surprise him. He knew how stubborn she could be. But he felt like some kind of egotistical tyrant allowing her to work around here without monetary compensation. Besides, she had no other means of earning a living at the moment and there would come a time when he was sure she would need finances. Like when she left here to return to God knows where, just as Casey had suggested she would do eventually. And he wouldn’t want her to be in a situation where she needed to borrow money. If he paid her each week, it would be money she had earned, money that would belong to her.

  He would go talk to her now, before Casey and Tom came in for supper. Jackson walked into the kitchen and found her standing at the stove, dishing green beans into a serving dish. He smelled the aroma of pork roasting in the oven.

  “Kendall, my bank statement shows that you haven’t even cashed the first paycheck you earned,” Jackson said, stressing the word earned so that she would feel less like it was a handout.

  “No, and I don’t intend to,” Kendall said, glancing up at him as he stood next to her. She returned to her task, ignoring him.
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br />   “I thought I made it clear that I wasn’t going to allow you to work around here without being compensated for it.”

  She turned to face him then, holding the dish of beans in her hand. “Jackson, I have discovered I have a natural talent for cooking, not to mention that I absolutely love doing it. It’s fun for me, can’t you see that? And as for anything else, everyone everywhere has laundry and household chores that need to be done. There’s no escaping that.”

  “Well, maybe that would make sense if you were only doing those things for yourself, but you go quite a bit further than that, and I’m not going to have you scraping and bowing while you’re here.”

  Kendall looked up at him and laughed. “Scraping and bowing? Oh, Jackson, you really do make a big deal out of nothing, don’t you?” She turned her head away then and added, “You seem to do that a lot.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing, really.” She took a deep breath, then decided it was better to set things straight between them, and turned back to look at him. “Well, it’s like when you kissed me. You had to come to me with this huge apology, like it was some big deal, as if you’d committed an inexcusable crime, when there was actually not much to it.” Kendall smiled at him, hoping it covered her true feelings. “It was actually no big deal to me. I’m sure I’ve been kissed plenty of times before.”

  “I’m sure you have,” Jackson said with a look of annoyance. “But let’s get back to the money. Cash the checks. You’re messing up my bank reconciliation.”

  “Oh, is that all it is?” Kendall laughed at him. “Well, the checks are sitting in my dresser drawer. I’ll give them back to you, you can void them and then straighten out your records.”