Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)

by Autumn Grey

  Also my dad and I have been talking about the possibility of me working in his firm. I’ve already spoken to my boss at Lawrence and Barnes and explained my situation. We’ll be discussing how to go about handing over my pending projects to the other architects in the company during the coming weeks.

  Simon is meeting a new client today, so he flew back to New York yesterday to prepare for the meet. Our work here in Boston is almost done and I will be out of this hotel and flying back home soon. Tate will let me know if he needs me for this particular project again.

  After hopping out of the shower, I dry my body and quickly rub my hair with a towel and leave the bathroom. I pull on a pair of jogging pants and T-shirt, before settling down on the couch in front of the laptop on the table to Skype with my favorite girls. I contemplate the past few weeks since I went back home up until I left Florida. I was in a shitty mood and I regret how rough I was with Nor. At least my time away has worked wonders on my attitude and put things into perspective. I feel more like a human being and not an animal, ready to piss a circle around her to warn everyone to stay away.

  I shake those thoughts away and focus on Cora’s little face when she appears on the screen, grinning at me.

  God, I make beautiful babies.

  Correction.

  Nor and I make beautiful babies.

  I grin back and wave at her just as Joce scoots up next to her sister and wraps her arms around Cora’s neck.

  “Hi Uncle Cole,” Cora signs.

  My fucking heart shatters as it always does every time I hear that name.

  Uncle Cole.

  I feel as if a goddamn knife has been thrust inside my chest. I flex my hand to tamper down the pain searing through me.

  I swallow the lump of pain choking me and settle down for the chat. Joce, who has intentionally been keeping one side of her face away from me, slants her head to the side. I suck my breath and gape at the dark spot, right below her chin. My body tenses at the thought of someone hurting her.

  “What happened to your jaw, Joce?”

  Her body jerks, startled by my question. She thrusts her chin forward, eyes flashing with anger. “She started it. Abigail. She said mean things about my dad.”

  “And. . .”

  “I punched her in the nose. She hit me back. Then I hit her again.”

  What? Prim and proper Joce punched a girl in the face? Cora is most likely to punch someone in the face, but Joce? No. Whatever this Abigail said must have been bad. The worst thing is losing Josh is still a fresh wound that might never heal.

  My heart aches for them and my first instinct right now is to get on a plane and deal with this child that hurt my daughter. I sigh and inhale deeply, tampering down that feeling.

  I clear my throat. “Baby, I’m so sorry Abigail said the mean thing about your father. Josh was the best father ever. And also the coolest brother.” I pause. Let the words sink in. That fierce look on her face softens and she nods. “Using your fist to solve problems is not the best way to go, though. Did you try to talk to Abigail first?”

  Joce shakes her head, her bottom lip quivering. “I was so angry, I couldn’t stop myself.”

  Damn it. I wish I could comfort her.

  I lift my hand and press it on the screen, and wait. She seems to understand my intention. She places her tiny hand parallel to mine, her lips tugging into a smile.

  I pull my hand back and sign, “Do me a favor please?” She nods. “If someone ever says something bad about your father, try to ignore them. Remember all the good things about him. The coolest things he ever did.”

  She wiggles her freckled nose, so like Nor’s. “You mean like teaching me and Cora how to fish?” I nod and smile. “Do you know he would let us win when we played basketball? He’d lift me up so I was high enough to throw the ball inside the hoop.” She grins wide.

  Cora bounces on the seat beside Joce. “Yes. He used to lift me up too. Sometimes I felt as if I could touch the sky when he did that.”

  Shit. I’m three seconds from bawling. Josh did well, raising my girls. “See? Good memories. I’m sure there are a lot more. And you know what? I’d love to hear about everything when I return. Deal?”

  They nod, grinning identical smiles.

  Cora’s face falls after a few seconds. “I’m sad he couldn’t finish the tree house on the terrace though.”

  “What tree house?”

  She sighs. “Papa started to build a playhouse for me and Joce, but he became too sick he couldn’t finish it.”

  I bite my lip. “I have an idea. How about you pretty girls and I work on it when I get back?”

  Cora beams and she claps her hands. “We would love that!” She turns to look at something that’s out of my view then back at me. “Mama says we need to take a bath then go to bed. I can’t wait to see you again, Uncle Cole. Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  Joce stares at the screen, a little crease forming between her brows. “Do you think Papa can see us wherever he is? Mama says that Papa is in Heaven and he never sleeps. He’s always watching over us. Like an angel.”

  I nod and smile softly. “Yes, he is. Always.”

  The troubled look on her face fades. She smiles and she stands up. “Love you, Uncle Cole.”

  “Love you, baby.”

  “I told you,” Cora signs. “Daddy sent that unicorn in my dream last night.” She laughs.

  God, these kids are a riot.

  After promising the girls to take them to the carnival next week, they blow kisses at me before dashing from the living room. I shake my head smiling.

  I fucking can’t wait to see them.

  Nor appears on the screen and my breath leaves my chest.

  Christ. She’s fucking beautiful.

  I focus on the stunning woman on the screen, smiling softly.

  She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. Her face is so pale and her eyes are surrounded by dark circles. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” My hands flex on the table, missing the feel of her skin. Guilt slams into me as I take in the faint worry lines fanning the corner of her eyes. I should have been more considerate. “I’m so sorry for being such an asshole. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did the night before I left.”

  She drops her gaze quickly, but not before I see her eyes cloud with pain. Hurt. Her chest rises and falls, and she lifts her eyes back to meet mine. She looks exhausted. “You made me feel like I was nothing, Cole.”

  Anger storms through me. Shit. I really messed up. I rub the nape of my neck, grimacing, then I sign, “You’re not nothing. You are so much more. I wish you’d see yourself the way I see you. I’m sorry for making you feel like that, Nor.”

  The frown on her face is replaced by a soft smile. “I know. God, I’m so tired. I just want everything to be okay.”

  She should be angry with me, instead she lets it go. I’m a jackass.

  “You and the girls. . . Are you okay?”

  Her face clouds over and she looks away, blinking fast. Biting her bottom lip she turns to face me and shakes her head. “I miss him. The girls miss him. They are having a hard time coping. Joce got into a fight today.”

  “She told me. She’ll be okay though. I promise.” I feel fucking helpless. Knowing they are going through this and I’m too far away to offer them the comfort they need.

  “You were amazing with Joce. I tried to talk to her about what happened but I could not get through to her.”

  Those words send warmth inside my chest. I didn’t realize until this moment how much Nor’s approval means to me. How much her words lift me up. My throat closes up with emotion.

  “I miss him too.” I know I can admit this to her without feeling weak because she knows me. She always has. Before Nor moved in next door, she and I had been living in our own little bubbles, our lives so different yet similar, somehow. I never thought I’d ever find someone who’d understand me. Whose heart would beat to the same rhythm as mine. Then I found her and my f
ucking heart soared.

  I miss that connection.

  We stare at each other across the screen, across the distance.

  “Are you coming home soon?” she asks, jolting me from my thoughts. I wasn’t expecting that and my first instinct is to raise my fists and beat my chest.

  She fucking missed me.

  I’m not about to turn into a cocky bastard when we still have a huge gap to fill in on what happened nine years ago.

  “I should be done with everything by tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be home the day after.”

  “Good.” She purses her lips, rubs her eyes and yawns. “I need to talk to you.”

  “I would like that,” I sign. I remember the conversation I had with Elise two days ago when she texted me, concerned her sister was turning into a scarecrow right in front of her eyes. “So I hear you’ve not been eating well.”

  Her lips move and she scowls. Fire lights up her eyes as irritation flashes across her face. She looks so damn cute, all fired up and shit. My lips twitch, fighting a smile.

  I really missed that.

  “Who told you that?”

  I shrug. “Someone who cares about you.”

  Suddenly, she slumps forward, the fight leaving her body. She doesn’t say anything and I won’t push her to talk until she’s ready. But as much as I want to see that spark of life behind her eyes, I realize for once, I need to give her a break. For now. All bets are off when I get home.

  “I have to go and finish up some details for the meeting tomorrow.”

  “Right. Okay.” Her shoulders rise a bit higher and she straightens on the seat, looking relieved. She must have been bracing herself for a fight. She straightens her dress with nervous fingers and signs. “See you soon.”

  “See you soon.”

  BY THE TIME NICK PICKS me up from the airport and parks the car outside Nor’s house, my head is in chaos. Different emotions run through me, and I’m not sure where one emotion ends and the next begins.

  The car stops vibrating beneath my feet, jolting me from my thoughts. I glance out the window and squint through the dark night to the house illuminated by the street lamp. I’m surprised we’re already at Nor’s house. I turn to face my brother, who is staring out the window, while tapping his fingers on the wheel. He shifts on his chair to face me.

  He lifts his hands from the wheel and signs, “You have been twitchy the entire ride from the airport. I thought you would hop out of the car as soon as we got here.”

  I massage the back of my neck with my fingers. My brain is a jumbled mess and I can’t think straight.

  “If it is any consolation, Nor was just as nervous when I dropped by earlier to babysit the twins while she went grocery shopping.”

  I exhale in relief. At least I’m not the only one feeling this way.

  “She worships the ground you walk on,” he continues. I cock a brow at him. “She looks at you like she wants to absorb you inside her. It is the same way she used to look at you when we were kids.”

  I purse my lips. “You were just a kid.”

  “I wasn’t blind,” he counters. “You probably do not want to hear this shit, especially after the past. But I am your brother. Brothers give each other advice, whether it is needed or not. She is a keeper. Do not let her slip away.”

  I shake my head and smile. “Wow, bro. You are like Yoda.”

  He laughs. “It is all about The Force, man.” Playfully, he punches me on my shoulder with his fist. “Absorb what you can from me right now. I might not be feeling so wise in a couple of hours.”

  I chuckle and turn to look out the window again. Suddenly, I’m not sure if I’m ready to learn the truth. I want to walk inside that house and start fresh. But my conscious won’t allow me to.

  I need to know.

  Taking a deep breath to still my nerves, I look at my brother and say, “I fucking missed them the last two weeks. I feel like I’ve known Cora and Joce my entire lifetime, even though I missed most of theirs.”

  He leans over the console, over my lap, flips the lock of my door, then straightens on his seat. “Get your ass out of my car. Sappy conversations are not my super power.”

  Laughing, I step out of the car.

  “Would you like to hangout over the weekend?” I sign.

  “I have a deadline to finish a project that’s due next week. How about the next one?” he asks, a hopeful look on his face.

  “Sounds great.” I can’t wait to spend more time with my little brother. After requesting him to take my luggage to my parents’ house, I walk up the little path flanked with daffodils toward the front door. I stop and turn around, searching in the dark for the little apartment I will be moving into in just a couple of days. I inhale deeply and spin around slowly to face the door again and ring the bell.

  s

  My body tenses as the sound of the doorbell ringing ricochets inside the house. Taking a deep breath, I wipe my clammy hands down my dress and walk to the door.

  Cole is here. It’s finally time to finish this. He might hate me after all is said and done.

  When I open the door, Cole is standing in front of me, with one hand shoved inside the pocket of his pants, while the other rests on the nape of his neck. He raises his eyes from the ground to meet mine. His expression instantly softens, then darkens as his gaze roams down my body, staying a little longer around my boobs and mouth. In that tiny slip of time, my heart beats rapidly in my chest and warmth spreads all over my body, finally settling between my legs. He clears his throat and then tugs the beanie from his head.

  God, I’ve missed that look.

  “Hi.”

  “Hey,” I manage to cough out the words and step aside to let him in. After locking the door, I push off it, brush past him and walk into the living room. His body is like a warm shield as he trails behind me. I stop in front of the sofa, clasp my hands together, and face him.

  “Where are the girls?” he asks.

  “At your parents’ house. I thought it would be easier for us to talk without distraction.”

  He nods, his intense gray eyes never leaving mine.

  God, I’m so nervous. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

  “No, thank you.”

  Right. I motion for him to sit down and then I sit on the farthest corner of the couch. Being close to him puts me off kilter and I need all my thoughts in a neat little pile for this conversation.

  He drags his fingers through his short hair, glances at the couch to the side and lowers his tall frame on it before he stares up at me expectantly.

  I clear my throat and bite the inside of my cheek. “I need you to understand something first. Whatever I did nine years ago, I did it to protect you. I didn’t set out to hurt you.”

  He leans forward, matching my pose but doesn’t say anything. Damn it. I don’t know what he’s thinking right now.

  I have no idea where to start, so when I open my mouth words just flow out. “You asked me not to visit you in prison. I couldn’t do that. I had to look for a way to see you. I went back to Mr. Taylor—the warden at the prison—and asked if there was a way he could help me. He informed that it was against the rules and he didn’t promise me anything. But I held hope and prayed that he would find a way. Somehow. During those months, Mr. Taylor and Grandma became very close. He was like a son to her. I think he filled the void in her that my dad couldn’t. During that time, Mr. Taylor’s mom passed away and he stopped visiting Grandma for a while. The only thing that kept me going was your letters, taking care of my sisters and my mom, and school. The college work load was getting too much and the therapy sessions were more intense. I wanted to be better before your release from prison.

  “I didn’t hear from Mr. Taylor until a couple months before your release. I was helping Grandma finish up an urgent delivery one Saturday afternoon when he walked into the shop. After chatting for a while he asked me to be in his office on Monday at ten o’clock in the morning. That was two months before your release,
but I didn’t care. The opportunity to see you was there, right in front of me. Two months to see you again was a long time.”

  I pull up my legs on the couch, wrap my arm around my knees and rest my chin on top of them, angling my face so Cole can see my mouth. And then I start to tell him how our lives drastically changed nine years ago.

  BY MONDAY MORNING, THOUGH, I’M a complete nervous wreck. I’m excited and anxious to see Cole. He will probably be angry when he sees me. How could he ask me the impossible, to stay away from him? I can understand he didn’t want me to see him behind bars, all beaten up by the thugs sent by my father. I couldn’t let him push me away and I was determined to do what I could to see him. My heart was his heart and nothing was going to change that.

  I make sure my clothing complies with the dress code--not too fitting or provocative. I’m wearing a simple knee-length, black dress with sleeves that stop slightly above my elbows. I finish the look with my blue Keds with little light blue and yellow hearts on them. Satisfied, I leave the house. After texting Megs to let her know that I’m on the way to visit Cole, I get inside the Old Station Wagon and drive away.

  I arrive at the correctional facility with just about thirty minutes to spare. After reporting to the reception area and letting them know I have an appointment with the Warden, one of the guards asks me to follow him down a hallway and to the north side where the offices are located. He deposits me in front of a receptionist with white hair, blue eyes, and a grandmotherly smile. But I know that behind that smile, there’s a tough woman. You can’t work in a place like this without being some sort of ninja or something.

  I sit on the offered chair. Nervousness sets in and my fingers fiddle with the edge of my skirt as I wait. How does Cole look now? I haven’t seen him in one year and six months. He never says much in his letters, most likely to avoid worrying me. I still can’t forget the night I wept for him after Megs told me about his injuries.

  My heart skips several beats. Is my father still paying the inmates to hurt him? What if they hurt him badly? Maggie would have told me if that were the case. Or maybe not. I’m certain Cole would have asked her not to tell me anything.