Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)

by Autumn Grey

  I straighten in my chair when the warden steps out of his office, scowling.

  He flicks his wrist to look at his watch, and then faces his secretary. “Ask the guards on Block C to bring inmate C two hundred and eighty to my office,” he barks the order to his secretary, and as soon as he sees me his face softens. After exchanging pleasantries, he asks me to follow him into his office. He sits on the leather chair behind his desk, props his elbows on the wood surface and steeples his fingers.

  “You understand this is against procedure,” he repeats the same warning he told me months ago, I nod.

  About twenty minutes later, someone knocks on the door. A guy with dark hair, even darker eyes and rugged features pushes the door in and steps in. I’m hypnotized, staring at the door, waiting to see Cole. The second he comes in, I exhale long and my pulse picks up. At first, he doesn’t notice me and then his eyes wander lazily around the room until they land on me. He gapes, his eyes widening. His shocked gaze darts between Mr. Taylor and me.

  “Nor? What are you doing here?” he signs, taking a step forward, his eyebrows scrunched up in a worried frown.

  “Twenty minutes, Holloway,” Mr. Taylor says, shooting a stern look at Cole, then to me. “Don’t make me regret this.”

  Cole and I nod.

  The warden stands up from his chair and leaves the room. I feel the tension in the room pick up as Cole’s gaze tracks down my body with deliberate strokes, and by the time his smoldering eyes meet mine, my breath is coming out fast.

  “You never follow orders, do you?” he signs, prowling closer and I have to stand up fast. God, he looks bigger. He still has the buzz cut. Somehow being in here has given him a rougher edge, which makes him look a little dangerous, especially when he is scowling like that.

  I drop my purse on the chair as he edges closer. “You left me no choice.”

  He takes one huge furious step and suddenly I’m scrambling backward and my hands are flailing around, searching for purchase.

  “You’re scaring me, Cole.”

  His expression softens at my admission, but not entirely. He is still wearing that dangerous look and his body is coiled tight, ready to snap at any second.

  Suddenly, his hands shoot out and grip my hips. He pushes me back, and my back slams into a wall behind me. I’m suddenly excited and panicked at the same time.

  “Cole,” I say, my voice shaking.

  His gaze is stuck on my mouth. He shakes his head once and that is all I get before his lips come crashing down on mine. His hands slide down until he reaches my thighs and yanks them up, settling them around his lean hips. My dress rides up as he settles his hard body between my legs and he starts to thrust his pelvis forward. I shake my head and forcefully pull back.

  “We can’t do this here. The warden will come back any second now. ”

  “You shouldn’t have come here, Nor,” he says, his voice hoarse as if he hasn’t used it for long. “As soon as I saw you sitting here, I wanted to do this. Kiss you. I cannot think of anything I would rather do right now, so if you want to stop me, do it now. Otherwise shut up and let me kiss you. Your mouth is my weakness and I want to feast on it. Let me kiss you, Snowflake. Please.”

  God.

  I couldn’t deny him what he wants even if I tried. His words, his hard body, everything about him makes me feel desired. He makes me want to climb inside his skin so I can feel him.

  He lifts a brow in question, waiting, but my mind is still trying to come to terms with this new Cole. He is no longer the boy who walked into this institution months ago. He’s somehow hardened, having become even more demanding than he was. It’s different.

  I like different.

  “Am I scaring you, Nor?” he smirks and I see my Cole in there. The sweet, sexy boy I fell in love with. The boy I’m still helplessly in love with.

  I shake my head and as if that is his answer, his mouth descends on mine, one hand coming to my neck and framing it while caressing the vein pumping blood there. I groan, and I feel the thumb press slightly and his kiss becomes intense. Oh my God, talk about intense. He’s kissing me hungrily and I’m returning it. He yanks his head up and looks around with wild, dark eyes. I feel his chest inflate at the same time he grabs my bottom and whirls me around. I have no idea where he is going until I realize we are in a small room.

  The bathroom.

  “What are you doing Cole?” I squeak, squirming to get down. “We can’t do this here.”

  “Yes we can. We just have less than thirteen minutes. Do you want to waste that time arguing? Because either way, I’m burying myself inside you. I haven’t had you in a long time. I cannot. . .I need something to keep me going, Nor. I need my fix.”

  My heart races and my heart beats louder and louder in my chest until I’m breathless with want and need and anticipation. “I didn’t bring any condoms with me. If I knew this was going to happen, I’d have—”

  “I’ll pull out. I promise. I just want to feel you, Snowflake. Just want to show you how much I have missed you. How much my cock misses your warm heat.”

  His body is hot, literally vibrating with need, sweat is beaded on his forehead. His erection pressing against my stomach and suddenly the urge to feel him inside me is strong. I remember how he felt in me. I’ve never been a risk taker, but now. . .

  God, I want to do this. With him. It’s wrong, doing it in the Warden’s office. He has been so kind to me. But I want it bad. I want to swim in the sea of its wrongness if it means having Cole inside me. I’ve missed him so much.

  I hear the sound of a door open and close on the other side of the bathroom’s door, and I freeze.

  “What?” Cole asks, picking up on my body language.

  “Someone is out there.” His eyes cloud with fury and he puts me down. He stalks to the door, opens it and ducks his head to look, then pulls back seconds later and flips the lock. He grabs my hand and yanks me flush to his hot, hard body while walking us backward to the wall. His large, calloused hands are hungry, desperate as they slide under my dress and circle my hips. His fingers press on my skin as if he’s trying to leave a mark there before gentling.

  “”I really love dresses. So accessible,” he says as he hooks his fingers around my panties, pulls them down, bunches them and shoves them in his pocket. “I’ll need to keep these.”

  Oh, God.

  I shove my hand inside his pocket but he clasps his fingers around my wrist. “I can’t walk out of here without underwear.”

  “I dare you.” The words bounce off the walls in the tiny room.

  I groan. Crap. He has no idea how loud he is. We might be discovered any second. I pull back and meet his dark gaze and whisper, although it’s more for my benefit than his. “So I’m supposed to walk out of here commando?”

  “Yes.” He grins while his fingers work on the zipper on my dress. He tugs the bodice front down and bows his head and sinks his face between my breasts. He inhales deeply and groans, that sound sending shivers all over my body. He lifts his head to look at me.

  “I fucking love your tits. You smell like my best decision ever. I missed touching you so much.” His fingertips slide across my lower stomach. My heart stops beating when his palms skim the raised scars along my thigh.

  Shit. With my brain overloaded with the feelings Cole’s invoking in me, I completely forgot about the new scars there.

  I try to pull back while forcing my dress down, but Cole’s grip around me tightens. Without shifting his gaze from mine, he bunches the dress in his hands and shoves it up. I break the eye contact by shutting my eyes and tilting my head to the side, not ready to see his reaction. After what feels like a lifetime, suspended in silence, I feel his fingers on my chin tugging my head to face him.

  “Open your eyes, Nor.”

  I shake my head and wiggle my body free. I stop as goose bumps begin trailing up my arms and down my neck as he nips at my bottom lip and he pushes his body against mine, trapping me.

  “Ope
n your eyes,” he says again.

  Taking a deep breath, I do as I’m told. I expect to see disappointment, anger. Hell, even revulsion. But what I see knocks the breath out of me. He swallows violently and drops his hands from my body. The loss is immediate.

  “Why, baby?” he signs between the space separating our bodies.

  I shake my head and drop it on his shoulder. Oh man. How will I make him understand the numbness I felt, the emptiness that had taken over me both physically and emotionally without sounding like a broken record?

  “I’m not judging you,” he says. My eyelids flutter open. “I’ll never judge you. I told you before and I’ll say it again. Your scars don’t scare me. You once asked me, who would love a girl with scars. I told you I do and always will for as long as you’ll have me. It would take a monumental effort to get rid of me.” He pauses and bites his bottom lip as he studies me with dark, hooded eyes. “I’ll say this over and over again until every word is imprinted in your soul. Your scars don’t make me love you less. I fucking love you. What I feel for you is not just an emotion, Snowflake. It’s alive and breathing. Knowing I’ll see you when this is all over is the only thing that keeps me going. Looking at you is like looking into a mirror.”

  He finishes this declaration in a rather loud voice, but I’m beyond caring if we’ll be heard at this point. Tears roll down my cheeks at the same time I’m smiling hard, and pulling his tousled head down towards my mouth.

  “I love you with every broken, messy piece of me.”

  “Good. Now give me your mouth, Snowflake.” He stands still, waiting for me to bridge the small space between us. I lean forward and touch my lips with his. His restraint explodes and suddenly his fingers are wrapping around the nape of my neck, his thumb pressing and stroking my windpipe, absorbing my moans and groans into his skin.

  He stumbles back, pulling me with him. His free hand shoves between us and fumbles with his pants. He pushes them down in hurried tugs. He switches our positions without breaking stride, flips the toilet seat down and plops on it. He grips my hips with both hands and parts my legs with one of his, then tugs me forward to straddle him.

  “Come on, Baby. Sit on my cock”

  I do, biting back a groan as I feel him stretch me. He shudders as his hold on my waist tightens.

  “God, I’ve missed this. You feel so good.”

  He pounds into me desperately and all I can think about is that the warden trusted me to just talk. . .or maybe not. Why would he leave us alone?

  Cole pinches my nipple while his mouth sucks on the other one. My orgasm hits me hard and I’m falling, clutching on to Cole as he pounds into me. His body coiled tight. I can feel his release coming and I can feel a second one rising from me. His arms band around me as he buries his face into my chest and his body shakes and I’m too far gone to remember he was supposed to pull out.

  Crap.

  Oh God.

  No.

  I stand up on shaking legs, swing a leg over his hips and start to straighten my dress.

  After putting ourselves to rights, we exit the bathroom. Footsteps shuffle on the other side of the door.

  “Someone is coming,” I sign quickly. The door opens before he can reply. Mr. Taylor waddles in, his gaze darts between Cole, who has somehow managed to get to the other side of the room, and me. His hands are shoved inside his pocket and his face unreadable.

  “Everything okay?” My Taylor asks me, just as the same guard who brought Cole strides in, heading for him.

  I nod, but my eyes are on my boyfriend. We don’t have time to say goodbye properly. The guard jerks his chin toward the door. Cole winks at me and mouths ‘I love you’.

  “See you soon,” I sign. “I love you with everything I am.”

  I don’t tell him how worried I am.

  He doesn’t mention it either.

  I pray under my breath that everything will be okay.

  THANKSGIVING WEEKEND ARRIVES. MY PERIOD should have begun two days ago, but it didn’t. I decided to wait a few days before I took the next step.

  Now, dread is filling every part of me as I stare at the white stick in my hand. The third pregnancy test I have done in the past thirty minutes. My pulse is racing madly. I take several deep breaths to keep the panic at bay. I need to think.

  I grab my phone from the night stand and call Megs, but then I realize that she and Simon made plans to go camping. There is a chance she won’t be able to get to my calls until they drive back to Willow Hill.

  I walk to the window, fighting the urge to cry and stare outside. What the hell am I going to do? God, what a mess.

  I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Cole will be here in a few weeks. I’m twenty-years old, I don’t have a job. I’m a recovering cutter and I’m not even sure if my mind is in the right place right now. My mom is practically a zombie. My sisters still need me.

  Oh God.

  I drop my head in my hands and whisper over and over that I’m strong. I can handle this.

  The sound of a car pulling to a stop outside my window startles me and I lift my head. I watch as Josh leaves his car with a girl trailing behind him, giggling. They head toward the front door, open it and disappear inside the house.

  I stand there, my eyes stuck on that door. I need to talk to someone before I go mad. I leave my room and head down the stairs.

  Two minutes later, I’m standing in front of Cole’s house, ringing the bell.

  “Can I talk to you?” I ask as soon as Josh answers the door. Laughter and voices fill the air from somewhere behind Josh and my heart aches at those sounds. I wish my family was as happy as Josh’s. You’d think that Thanksgiving would brighten things up in my house.

  Josh eyes me for a few seconds, his usual wide, cheery smile fading. “You okay?”

  Unable to hold his gaze, I drop mine to the ground and shake my head. “Just, please. . .” My voice shakes and I have to stop talking. I need to be strong to talk to Josh. I brace myself for his reaction after I deliver the news.

  Clearing my throat, I raise my head and face him again.

  He darts a look over his shoulder, then steps onto the porch, closing the door behind him. Walking ahead of me, he heads toward the swing on the porch but stops when he notices I’m not following him.

  “Not good?” he asks, jerking his head to the swing. When I shake my head, he retraces his steps back to where I’m standing, hugging my waist.

  “Let’s go for a walk.” My voice is strong, despite the fear devastating every trace of who I am. But that fear fuels my decision.

  I straighten and lead the way down the path and out of the gate. I see him shove his hands in his pants from the corner of my eye, see him spare a glance my way.

  When we reach the fenced playground that Elon loves, I bypass the swings in favor of the bench. I’m not feeling queasy anymore. The ginger ale seems to help the nausea.

  Josh sits next to me, stretches his long legs and tucks his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie. He doesn’t say anything, just sits there and seems to wait for me.

  I take deep, long breaths, willing my heart to calm down. Wipe my palms down my pants and lean back on the bench.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Silence. It stretches for long seconds.

  Did he hear what I said?

  I shift on the bench and directly face him. “I’m pregnant, Josh. You are the first person I’ve told.”

  He stares at me incredulously. “How? Are you—Do you have another boyfriend? Is that why you’re coming to tell me this?”

  I shake my head quickly. “No! No, no. Josh. It’s Cole’s baby.”

  He snorts. “Cole is in prison. Unless his dick somehow got to your—”

  “Ugh, Josh. Stop. Please stop.” I take a deep breath and tell him about my meeting with his brother.

  He pulls his hands from his pockets, leans forward and props his elbows on his thighs. He looks at me, his eyebrows dipping low. “Does my brother know?” he asks
quietly.

  My eyes prickle with tears. Tears I’ve tried hard not to let fall. “No.”

  He sighs. “Wow.”

  We stay silent for a few seconds.

  When he turns to look at me again, his blue eyes are dull, his mouth pulled down in a frown. He clears his throat, and his face turns neutral before he stands from the bench and begins to pace.

  “Jesus. Nor. Jesus fucking Christ,” he mutters to himself, his fingers interlocked on the nape of his neck. He stops suddenly and swings around to face me. “Your father, your dad—” he doesn’t need to finish that sentence. We both know what my father will do. But worse, I know what my father is capable of doing. He hates Cole with a passion unrivaled by anything I’ve ever seen before.

  “I know,” I whisper. “I know.” I bite my lip, gathering courage to say what I’ve been planning since I heard my father making plans to make Cole’s life harder.

  Josh sits next to me, slides his arm across my shoulder and pulls me into him. He wraps the other arm around me and I fall into him, taking in a long trembling breath. He kisses my hair, and even though his kisses don’t come close to the comfort Cole’s offer me, I soak it up. I need the comfort he is offering me. I soak it up before I bring his world crashing down in confusion.

  It’s the only way to save Cole.

  “He’s coming home soon.” I hear a smile in his voice. “Just a few more weeks. He will be fucking happy. I know he will.” He ducks his head to meet my eyes. “I don’t see you hopping up and down with joy, soon to be momma. What’s wrong, Nor?” He ducks his head to look at me closely. “Shit, Nor? What’s wrong? Don’t you want this? I know that you and Cole are still young. But, it’s already happened. I’m not going to criticize you or my brother.”

  “If my dad knows, he won’t let Cole walk out of prison alive. I’m stuck. I’ve thought of ways to do this. I’ve thought about leaving town, but I can’t abandon my sisters and mother in the hands of my father.” The tears I’ve been holding back finally fall free. His arms tighten around me, and he begins to run his hands down my back in soothing circular motions.