Love's Foolish Punch

by S M Mala

  ‘You said plain,’ she frowned, knowing she wasn’t a great beauty compared to the other people she went to stage school with.

  They always labelled Molly a ‘character actress’ never a leading lady. The tag and feeling had stuck to her ever since. Some had even said ‘comedy’ when she wasn’t even that funny, but she knew that was just a bitchy dig.

  ‘You’ll be doing me a favour,’ he said, grabbing her hand. ‘There are only a few people in life you can trust and I trust you to do this for me.’

  ‘What is this Jamie to you?’

  ‘Ah well, he gives me a lot of business when I promote his boxers and the upcoming fights. He’s very passionate about what he does, and I like him. He’s a good man.’

  ‘Can’t be a good man if he’s having an affair, can he?’

  ‘The thing with Jamie, I’m not quite sure what’s going through his mind at the moment. I’ll tell you something but don’t repeat it. He was with a woman for a few years then about a year ago she ups and leaves, saying she didn’t love him. Moves back to Malta. He was heartbroken. Personally, I heard she put it about a bit but he was the last to know. Since then, he’s been partying and now has landed, literally, on this married woman Chloe. I think she’s using Jamie and wants her husband to find out, so he needs a little protection.’

  Molly now felt sorry for the Jamie she didn’t know.

  If anyone knew what it was like to be dumped when they didn’t see it coming, it was her. The pain she still felt rumbled in her gut, and she could see why the guy would want to party and have some fun. Even though it was fun she didn’t approve of.

  ‘It sounds a little odd,’ she eventually replied and smiled at Squirrel. ‘Can’t you find anyone else?’

  ‘I don’t want to put him in a situation where someone is going to blackmail him so it has to be a woman I can trust. And I trust you. Plus you’re my little cousin, and I won’t let anything bad happen to you.’

  ‘So I get fed and dressed for free with an expense account for thirteen weeks. And that’s it?’

  ‘You might have to stay the odd night round his home to make out you’re together.’

  ‘Squirrel!’

  ‘You can sleep in his spare room. And he might have to kip over at yours one night a week. Your sofa bed will be fine to sleep on.’

  ‘If he likes lumps in his mattress, it’s ideal.’

  ‘I mean you!’ laughed out Squirrel. ‘I can’t let Jamie sleep on that!’

  ‘You have, many a time when you’re drunk.’

  ‘And I’m still seeing an osteopath about it.’ He laughed. ‘And I get fifteen percent cut as good promoters do.’

  ‘And crooked agents,’ she sighed, remembering her ex agent’s large cut from her severance pay.

  ‘It’s really a no-brainer.’

  ‘I don’t think I can do it,’ she said, not liking the set up. ‘It sounds odd.’

  ‘Twenty thousand pounds for three months work. How odd does that sound?’

  ‘No way!’

  That was the first reaction from the young man sitting at the table.

  Squirrel had told Molly to smarten up to meet Jamie the following day. It was Saturday lunchtime, and she was taken to a plush bar not far from where she taught drama. She’d not even sat down when he started shaking his head.

  She initially thought he was very attractive until he opened his mouth, after giving her the filthiest of looks. Squirrel was now gawping in horror at the man.

  ‘You haven’t even spoken to her!’ replied her cousin in alarm. ‘So enough of the rudeness.’

  ‘I mean…’

  The man she was supposed to pretend to be in love with, laughed at her.

  But because she’d toughened up with the amount of rejections over the years, it didn’t faze Molly.

  It hurt, but she could pretend otherwise.

  She stared at him.

  He was slightly built with very dark brown hair and had stubble on his face. His eyes were light hazel brown, and his face was well sculptured. The man was very good looking and obviously knew it. The clothes were expensive and so seemed everything else.

  And she could see why he wasn’t completely enraptured.

  Someone like him would never look at her twice, but she thought that about Sam.

  He did look at her twice. She was grateful that, at the time, she landed such a handsome boyfriend.

  From Molly’s knowledge of watching the minimum amount of sport on television, Jamie didn’t look like someone who owned a boxing gym.

  Molly then turned icy inside remembering men like him shat on women like her.

  ‘Fine,’ Molly said, standing up straight. ‘I couldn’t pretend to be in love with someone like you. All my acting skills, and I assure you I have many, could never allow me to pretend to be with someone so rude and obnoxious.’

  ‘Great,’ she heard Squirrel mumble.

  ‘I’m here to help,’ she continued, seeing the man wasn’t looking at her. ‘I need the money and Squirrel is my cousin.’

  ‘I thought you were joking,’ Jamie said, instantly eyeing her up and down with surprise.

  ‘And no, we don’t look alike. His dad and my dad are brothers. This package is small and squidgy. The clothing basic, as I prefer to spend my money on other things. My name is Molly Drew, and if that’s all you have to say for yourself, it was lovely to meet you but then again, you know that was a lie.’

  She walked out.

  ‘Molly!’ Squirrel shouted out, running after her. ‘Can you come back?’

  ‘No!’ she said loudly, seeing people turn to look at her. ‘I’m going to do my shift.’

  ‘He wants to talk to you,’ he said, pleadingly.

  ‘Frankly, this is not a good idea. From first impression, we wouldn’t look like a convincing couple. Go hire him a high-class hooker, I think that would be more preferable,’ she whispered, seeing Squirrel bend down to look into her eyes. ‘I don’t need this right now. I’m feeling a little vulnerable with Sam’s promotion thing. He was on the telly this morning when I was at the gym. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but I nearly fell off the cross trainer, which was very embarrassing.’ Molly let out a little whimper. ‘Another man shitting on me, whether it’s pretend or not, isn’t a good idea.’ Then she saw the pained expression on her cousin’s face, probably mirroring her own. ‘It still hurts.’

  ‘Okay poppet,’ he said, stroking her cheek. ‘I’ll tell him. But you’re not doing double shifts at the taxi firm. I’ve got some cash, and I’ll put it towards your building works.’

  ‘You don’t have to,’ she smiled, knowing he was a kind and caring cousin. Her only one, to be exact. ‘I’ll get it sorted. Tell him goodbye.’

  Molly kissed him on the cheek and grabbed her coat before walking out of the building.

  Just as she was about to cross the road, she noticed someone was standing by the window looking at her. As she turned, it was Jamie, smiling.

  He was probably having a laugh at her expense.

  Now that wouldn’t have been the first time, and he wouldn’t have been the first one to do it.

  ‘You look nice.’

  Nikos was sat behind his desk, admiring Molly. ‘You’re here early.’

  ‘I thought I might as well help out,’ Molly replied, looking down at the green dress which helped her to lose the potential of earning twenty grand. ‘And I need the cash.’

  ‘Get yourself a cup of tea,’ he smiled.

  The owner, Nikos, was a lovely Cypriot man. In his mid-fifties, small and tubby with a large family and successful business. He’d driven black cabs all his life. Now he ran an executive car service which meant better cars, drivers in shirts and ties plus Molly, whose voice he said added a bit of friendly class.

  And she was grateful for the job because it was Nikos’ company that used to chauffeur her around before the children’s programme got pulled off air. He knew she was going through a bad stage especially after Sam left her.


  That was an all-time low.

  It wasn’t until she was at her lowest ebb did she realise who her friends really were.

  Most of the television ones had dropped her like a hot potato, but there were a few who kept in contact.

  Even her agent parted company after taking a big bulk of her earnings, and her final payment, for doing nothing.

  If she ever saw Hamish again, she’d punch him very hard in the face.

  Her new agent, Kim, was understanding but found it hard to get her work. That was down to the way Molly looked and the notorious Tommy Halo incident.

  Molly was innocent when it came to that. Then Sam walking out made it all seem worse.

  She was the one who had taken the full brunt for other people’s actions.

  And she was still paying for it.

  Sitting down and putting her headphones on, she concentrated on the work ahead.

  The time flew when she was there, with the general banter and laughter, it was a good place to be.

  Life had fooled her on many levels, making her feel good then only to find it was a lie.

  That was the last thing she needed.

  Tommy Halo and Sam had done it to her, making out they cared when they didn’t.

  Molly knew she would make sure she’d never get fooled by anything or anyone again.

  ‘Really?’

  Molly scowled, knowing the kids were trying to distract her.

  ‘That’s what my dad said,’ Hero sighed, nodding. ‘That new film is rubbish! He went to the preview as part of his job.’

  She looked around her drama class, consisting of ten children. Eight-year olds from very affluent backgrounds.

  It was obvious their parents were looking for the next Kiera Knightly or Benedict Cumberbatch. The kids had the cheekbones and looks, there was no denying it.

  But the talent was purely lacking. Molly wondered if Henrietta, the school’s owner, gave her the worst class for the fun of it.

  ‘You’re supposed to be trees,’ sighed Molly, not wanting to hear about her ex’s film debut.

  ‘And dad said it was completely unbelievable,’ Hero continued, shaking his little mane of blond hair. ‘A load of crap, that’s what he said.’

  ‘Language!’ Molly hissed. ‘Trees don’t talk. You’re blowing in the wind, remember?’

  Then she turned and looked at Charlie. He was little for his age and wore glasses. His mother liked to dress him in shorts, regardless of the weather, but he was chubby and cute with a shock of strawberry blond hair. He was also standing rigid with his hands to this side.

  ‘You’re not blowing,’ she gently said, bending down.

  ‘I’m a tree stump. The wind has broken me in half because there was a gale force,’ he said seriously. ‘It happens.’

  She didn’t want to laugh so nodded in agreement.

  ‘Ingenious,’ Molly replied then looked at the clock.

  The class was over.

  ‘Everyone clap. You’ve done a fine job!’ she lied through gritted teeth.

  When the children entered and left the lesson, she avoided eye contact should she betray her real feelings. That they were the worst drama students ever.

  But they were committed and seemed to have fun when they weren’t talking over her.

  ‘And you know that man starring in it don’t you?’ Hero continued, walking up to her. ‘I did a search, and there was a picture with you and him. Sam Price.’

  ‘We used to know each other,’ she said, trying to hide her alarm and rushing to help Charlie tie up his shoe laces.

  Again the anxious feeling of pain hit her but she had to hide it.

  ‘What man?’ whispered Charlie, looking straight at her.

  ‘A man who hurt me.’

  ‘He’s not nice then,’ he replied, shaking his head as Molly checked the ties were strong enough.

  ‘He had his moments.’

  Getting up, she quickly headed out but realised Hero was following her.

  ‘And another thing,’ he said, holding his tablet. ‘You’re featured on a website.’

  ‘Pardon me?’ she said stopping and trying not to bump into the parents picking up their children.

  ‘It’s very funny,’ the young boy laughed. Molly thought the sound was rather sinister and glanced over at Henrietta, the school’s owner, who was listening from behind the desk. ‘Do you want to see?’

  ‘What website?’ she asked, looking around to see who was listening.

  ‘This one!’ he proudly said, and she did a double take when looking down.

  In front of her eyes was a website dedicated to people like her.

  Gulping hard, she looked at Hero smiling smugly. Henrietta came rushing up, her wild hair all over the place as she grabbed the tablet.

  ‘Molly’s featured on a website?’ her employer asked, raising her eyebrows.

  ‘Not one of those!’ she hissed back.

  ‘I know things were bad but…’

  Avoiding any further humiliation, she opened the large wooden door, getting a hit of the cold air in her face then heard Henrietta say, ‘Oh dear!’

  Her skin was going the same colour as her hair. Pushing her hand into her bag, she pulled out her tablet and searched.

  ‘Hello,’ she heard someone say, but was too absorbed on finding the page.

  There it was in colour, the damning headline.

  ‘People who got dumped when their partners became famous.’

  And a picture of her with Sam.

  She looked happy.

  Sam just looked ridiculously handsome and posed.

  There was a paragraph below, but she didn’t want to read it.

  That would be too upsetting.

  Molly thought she was going to faint and immediately wanted to run to her bed and hide under the duvet.

  That was the only way she could cope.

  ‘Hello,’ the voice said again and she looked up. ‘Do you remember me?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, letting out a disgruntled sigh and instantly recognising him.

  ‘I’m Jamie Cohen,’ he said, holding out his hand.

  Molly looked at it and wanted to cry. Seeing she was featured on a website about being chucked was hard enough. Now the man who said ‘no way!’ when they met was standing in front of her, smiling.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Molly replied, shaking her head and ignoring his gesture. ‘I have to go.’

  Holding tightly onto her tablet, she rushed away, especially when she saw Hero’s dad walking towards them. He would also know she was ditched by Sam Price considering he ran a successful entertainment news internet site.

  Head down, she proceeded at high speed to go to the bus stop.

  ‘Hey!’ Jamie shouted, following her. ‘Can we talk?’

  ‘Not to today, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Please?’

  He grabbed her arm and made her stop.

  Molly couldn’t hold it in.

  ‘A boy in my drama class just showed me this!’ She handed him over the tablet, her hand shaking. ‘As if my sorry life wasn’t bad enough, I’m featured on a website where successful people have dumped their loved ones when they found fame. This is what I’m going to be remembered for. The ex-girlfriend of Sam Price. Look!’

  ‘Oh,’ Jamie said, reading the text underneath then darted a glance at her before continuing to look at the rest. ‘You were Bert the Baboon?’ There was no hiding it; he was going to laugh. ‘That’s something.’

  ‘It says that? God, I don’t want anyone to know. Hero’s going to have a field day with this.’

  ‘Who’s Hero?’

  ‘A psychotic child in my drama class who thinks he knows everything. He hates me at the best of times, and I bet he comes dressed as the bloody baboon next week!’ Molly closed her eyes and wanted to combust. ‘I thought this had all gone away but things like this bring it all back.’

  ‘Sorry, about that,’ he said, handing back her tablet. ‘Do you fancy a drink?’


  All she wanted to do was hide, but the smiling face took her by surprise.

  ‘Right now, I fancy about ten and a one way ticket out of the country.’

  ‘White okay?’

  Jamie put the bottle of wine down. They were in a small wine bar off Holland Park Road. Molly was trying to discreetly find the reviews of Sam’s new film to see if it was really that bad. ‘I wanted to have a quick word. Squirrel told me where you worked, and I’m not too far away from here.’

  She wasn’t listening.

  All she could see was the two and, very rare, three stars reviews from various publications and websites.

  Molly was torn on what to think.

  Disappointment for Sam as he would be very upset or delirium because the shit dumped her.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, and she looked up.

  This was when she had to do a double take.

  Jamie Cohen was very attractive close up.

  And the smile?

  Ridiculously infectious.

  ‘What did you want to talk to me about?’ she asked, putting her tablet down onto the table. She grabbed her wine and took a massive gulp. ‘That’s really nice. Usually I get acid burn from white wine, so I stick to rum and diet coke.’

  ‘Molly, I’m sorry about when we first met. I didn’t mean to be rude.’

  ‘You saw me and said ‘no way!’ You wouldn’t be the first to have done that.’

  ‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ he politely said and glanced quickly away. She knew he was lying. ‘The thing is, on first sight, I thought you were too young. I need someone to help me who looks a little older.’

  ‘And you weren’t put off by the way I look?’ she asked, waiting for a comeback. All she got was a puzzled glance. ‘You know, the short, dark, curvy type with a shock of dark red hair?’ Again, he looked like he didn’t know what she was talking about. ‘Are you really too well-mannered to say?’

  ‘You look about twenty-five.’

  ‘I’m thirty-four.’

  ‘That’s what Squirrel said but I thought he might be bending the truth.’

  ‘My cousin doesn’t lie. He’s very upstanding in his honesty,’ she said, recalling all the things Squirrel had told her over the years. ‘And he wants to do me a favour.’