Justify My Thug

by Wahida Clark

  “No. No, Trae. Come see me now.” She had the nerve to have base in her voice. “I’ve been waiting for you, thinking something happened to you and now you think you can call me and brush me off? No. I don’t think so.”

  I could see her stomping in place looking like our baby, Caliph. “What do you mean ‘you don’t think so’? I’m going home.”

  “Trae, I need to see you now. Are you in the city?”

  “I’m about twenty minutes away.”

  “Then what are you doing that you can’t come and see me? You know what?” She got quiet. I know she was thinking that I was doing some shit I ain’t have no business doing. “Okay fine. Go home. I’ll meet you over there.”

  “Girl, you see what time it is. You don’t need to be riding across town this late. I’m on my way over to see you.” I hung up before she could say anything.

  TASHA

  I didn’t know what the fuck Trae was doing, but he was doing something. This nigga had been M.I.A. for damn near three days. Not answering calls from his moms or sons? He never does that. If he doesn’t show up within the next twenty minutes I am going to go looking for him. I don’t care what time it is.

  I paced the floor from the kitchen to the living room to the front window and back again. After about fifteen minutes of doing this, I told Trina to get ready. We were going to find Trae. Just as we were about to leave he called my cell.

  “Come downstairs,” he told me. I could barely hear him. He sounded beat down.

  “Who is that?” Trina’s nosy behind asked me.

  “I’m on my way down now,” I told Trae. Then told Trina, “I don’t need you. He’s downstairs.”

  “You got me up out of my bed to get dressed, to go riding around town at two in the morning and now you don’t need me?” She was twisting her neck and the whole nine.

  I left her standing there and went downstairs to find Trae parked in front of the building. I went around to the driver’s side and his window came down. Even though it was dark, I could see that he didn’t look like a nigga who was out partying. He had hair on his face, he was dressed in dark clothes and he smelled.

  “What is that smell?” I looked at his clothes. “Is that blood?” I already knew the answer. We looked at each other and no words were necessary. I’ve been doing this shit too long and I knew what time it was. This wasn’t the first time that I knew of my husband killing someone and I’m sure it wouldn’t be my last. I just didn’t always know who the victims were.

  “What’s the matter with you, Tasha?” He shook his head, grabbed a bag off the seat and got out. “Stay right here.” He went inside Trina’s apartment building to where I was, the laundry room. About five minutes later he had changed clothes and was back outside.

  “I just want you to tell me about Kyra, Trae. Where is she?” Not knowing was driving me insane.

  “I’ll be back over later today to fill you in. Go back in the house.” The look he gave me said, Do it now and don’t make me say it again.

  I went upstairs and he pulled off.

  TRAE

  I wasn’t ready to see Tasha. My mind was still at the scene of the murder. Taking another man’s life gives me a high that hasn’t been able to compete with anything else. Well, except when the twins were born. That shit there was the ultimate. However, seeing Tasha took me off my high and reminded me of what was going on in my world. My world was threatening to crumble around me.

  After I did away with the bloody clothes and murder weapon I was on my way to our home but changed my mind. Tasha hadn’t been there in a while and it was no longer the same. I can’t even attempt to front about that shit. Neither of us was staying there. I made an illegal U-turn in the middle of the road and headed for my so called bachelor pad.

  I turned onto my block and surveyed the area. I drove past my spot and a limo was parked in front. I started to keep going but thought, fuck it. I was tired. I hit the switch to open the garage door and placed my ratchet on my lap. I drove into the garage and hit the switch to close it. I got out my ride, and deactivated my alarm. I stepped inside the house and peeked out of the front window. I’ll be damned. My blood pressure shot up as I watched Charli’s ass get out of the limo. The bitch did not know when to quit.

  CHARLI LI

  I didn’t know if he was going to return to the condo or not, but it was the last place I had seen him over a month ago. After sitting across the street from his house for about two hours, my excitement heightened as I watched the lights of an SUV come down the street and then pull into the driveway in front of the condo. I waited until he was out of the truck and for when I was sure that he was inside the house before I exited the limo. I began to knock on the front door. A few minutes later, he opened it.

  “Charli, what the fuck? Do I have to buy one of them Rosetta Stone CD’s and learn to speak Chinese? Because every time I tell you in English to leave me the fuck alone, you act like you don’t understand me. What could you possibly want at 3:00 in the damn morning? Wait, let me guess. You’ve now become a stalker,” Trae exploded.

  “Mr. Macklin, don’t flatter yourself. I didn’t come here to argue with you.”

  “Then, what did you come here for?”

  I looked up into the handsome face of the ebony god that stood in front of me and struggled to compose myself. I tried to read his eyes, but they were void of any emotion. “I came for three reasons. To tell, to give and to show. Now, if you would be so kind as to let me in, I could say and do what I came here to do and be on my way.”

  I watched him as he ran his hand across his face and rubbed his beard stubble. Exasperated, he said, “And for some reason, this couldn’t wait until a reasonable hour? You just had to come here at three in the morning?”

  “In China they say the early bird catches the worm.”

  “What the fuck you a philosopher now? They say that shit everywhere. Look, I’m tired Charli and I’m ready to blow. The only thing you can do for me is give me the money you owe me from the investment on that land project. I don’t want to hear about fucking birds and worms.”

  “I have what you want. But I am not going to conduct business out here on your front steps. Now, may I please come in?”

  “You got five minutes and five minutes only.”

  He opened the door and waved me inside. I closed it behind me. “I know I’m probably the last person that you want to see right now,” I said as I followed him to the living room.

  “No shit?”

  I ignored his sarcasm … for now. “We definitely need to talk.”

  “You’re now down to four minutes. Just give me what’s mine.”

  I reached into my Louis Vuitton shoulder bag and withdrew an envelope. “I maneuvered some pieces around the board while I was gone and they proved to be quite profitable. You made it more than clear to me before I left that you wanted your money. So here. This is yours.”

  Grabbing the envelope, he pulled out the check and mumbled, “The whole eight million, huh?”

  “Plus a little something extra as you can see. That’s for any inconvenience I may have caused.”

  “That’s an understatement. But I would have had a lot more respect for you if you would have kept this professional.”

  “As I was saying, Mr. Macklin, in the process of moving the pieces and procuring the capital necessary to pay you, I spoke with two associates of my father’s and they’ve assured me that there wouldn’t be any more trouble to the club.” I paused to allow Trae to speak, but he remained silent. “In light of the way our last few conversations went, the least you could do is tell me ‘thank you’.”

  “I’m not in a gracious mood right now, Charli. Plus, you owe me this. Why the fuck I gotta thank you for what’s mine? You know what? It don’t even matter no more. This check concludes our business. Now, I need you to stay away from me and my club.” Trae replied over his shoulder as he pulled out one of those blunt things, lit it and sat on the couch. He inhaled twice and began to cough.<
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  “Put that out Mr. Macklin,” I said facetiously and walked a few steps towards him. “I’m pregnant and second-hand smoke is bad for my child. Our Child.”

  “This is my house. And I suggest that you stay your ass over there then. Why are you coming closer to the smoke? As a matter of fact, why are you still here? Because I ain’t tryna hear that our baby shit right now.”

  “Hear it now or hear it later, Mr. Macklin.” I pulled the tyvek envelope out of my bag and tossed it in his lap. “That’s a sonogram that I had recently. I wanted you to see what you created inside of me.”

  “Charli, don’t you think I already saw the first one you sent me?”

  “I don’t know. You don’t return my calls, so it’s obvious that you didn’t. But if you want to continue to deny my child, our child, that’s on you. The baby will be raised to have the best of everything. I will not force you to be a father. I have enough love inside of me for the both of us.”

  “Are you done? Because I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in a Lifetime movie. I’m not in the mood for this, Charli, I just told you that.” Trae inhaled that horrible blunt thing again. “You said you came here to tell, to give and to show. You told me about the baby, which I already knew. You told me about what you did for my club which I want you stay away from. You gave me the check and you showed me the sonogram … again.”

  “The sonogram was a part of what I came to give. I have something else that I want to show you.” I moved so that I could stand directly in front of him.

  “And what might that be?”

  Stepping out of my Alexander McQueen’s and lifting my skirt, I pulled my thong panties off.

  “Charli—”

  Leaning forward, I put my finger to his lips. “Don’t talk. Since this is the last time that I might see you, just lie back and let me show you something that I learned in the Philippines.” Lifting my skirt to my waist, I straddled Trae. Slow winding my body in his lap caused his dick to grow in his pants. I was soaking wet. I told him, “They call this the ‘Couch Canoodle’.” I reached under me until I felt his zipper. In seconds, I had his member free, big and thick in my hand. I rose up and rubbed the head of his dick all around my wetness. Quickly tiring of the foreplay, I lowered myself a few inches onto him. “Earlier you said I had five minutes. How many do I have left?”

  Before he could say a word I leaned forward to kiss him. He turned away from me. I didn’t care. I was getting what I came for. I used my pussy muscles to pull him all the way inside me. He didn’t even budge. I bounced up and down on his dick until my pussy adjusted to his length and girth, then with my legs splayed apart, I bent my knees. I pressed my knees up against his chest, and then slowly leaned all the way back until my palms were flat on the floor. I was almost completely upside down. Without letting his dick escape from within me, I thrust my hips back and forth while opening and closing my legs simultaneously. And just when I thought that he might not take the bait he grabbed me by my hips and began to match every stroke. I was confident that by the time I starting working my pussy muscles like the Kama Sutra had taught me, that I would have Mr. Trae Macklin exactly where I wanted him. Checkmate.

  TRAE

  I could have stopped the whole thing from happening but fuck it. Why should Tasha have all the fun? She was out there fucking the next nigga raw, carrying his seed and acting like I’m some kind of soft ass nigga. Plus, when she mentioned couch canoodle I got curious. If I liked it, I would teach Tasha how to do it. And it didn’t hurt that old girl was fucking the shit outta me, not to mention, y’all know a nigga loves that pregnant pussy. But for real, I may need this bitch later on so I’ma need her to act right so she can do what the fuck I tell her. Like they say, the game is chess, it damn sure ain’t checkers. Every move I make is so that I can conquer and destroy. At one point I could have sworn that I heard her say she loved me. Fuck outta here with that bullshit! The bitch is definitely not playing with a full deck. It always amazed me how a bitch could allow herself to fall in love with the next bitch’s dick then be shocked when you treat them like a ho. I let her get her shit off and then put that bitch to the bricks. I needed to rest up before I made my next moves.

  KYRON

  I had been blowing up Tasha’s cell but she was adamant about not talking to me. She must have threatened Trina because she wasn’t answering her phone either. I had Kendra call Tasha from her phone and she picked right up.

  “What’s happening Miss Tasha?” Kendra hit her speakerphone button.

  “Kendra, do you have me on speaker?”

  “Yeah she do.” I snatched up the phone, took it off speaker and went where I could talk in private. “Tasha, why do I have to jump through hoops and shit just to talk to you? What’s up? You told me you would be here by now.” She was busted and I dared her to hang up on me.

  “I need to sort this out first. I need a few more days.”

  “What’s to sort out?”

  “What do you mean what’s to sort out?” She snapped. “I’m married, I’m pregnant and I don’t know if the baby is my husband’s or if it belongs to the nigga I was creepin’ with. I have yet to figure the shit out, Kyron.”

  “Tasha, you know that the baby is mine.”

  “You don’t know that, Kyron. And let’s say that it is yours. What about me and Trae?”

  No she did not just ask me that. I didn’t want to hear that bullshit. “Tasha, don’t get rid of my baby.” I warned her. “Come back so we can sit down and talk about this face to face. You and that baby belong to me.”

  “Kyron, I told you before that you were just a revenge fuck. Our little game is over.”

  “Come and see me Tasha. I need to see you.”

  “Kyron, I won’t just get up and come up there and see you on a whim. I need to have a sit down with Trae before I come back to New York. So, I’m going back home.”

  She then hung up on me.

  TASHA

  I can’t believe this nigga. The way he said, “Come see me, Tasha. I need to see you.” The power in his voice had my knees weak. I was damn near hypnotized. I had to hang up before I started packing my bags. But I couldn’t lose focus. Not now. I had to try one more time with my husband. I could tell that Kyron was losing patience with me but I still hadn’t figured out his motives. Deep down I had a feeling that I was carrying his seed, but I hadn’t had the opportunity to sit down and go over the consequences of my actions, weigh my options and have the dreaded discussion with Trae.

  I got off the phone with Kyron and I sat there for almost two hours trying to get my mind right. The conclusion I came to was to start piecing my life back together and the first step in doing that was to move back home. I packed up all of our belongings and loaded up my car. I didn’t realize me and the kids had so much stuff and saw that I would have to make another trip. I took the first load to the house and unpacked. It felt so strange being there and I swear I wanted to grab all my shit and go back to Trina’s. I was thankful that I had the house to myself because I needed uninterrupted time to think and be sure that this is where I wanted to be.

  I knew that Trae wasn’t spending any time in our home either but it looked like he had been there earlier and had the same thought as myself, to move back in. We were always so in tune. His stuff was already in the living room. He had gone to the drycleaners and had sorted and stacked our mail on the dining room table. I put his stuff away, as well as the kids’ and saved my stuff for last. I cleaned up and decided that I would stop at the bank and do a little grocery shopping.

  On my way out I decided to go through the stacks of mail. Trae had left some receipts and other documents in a folder. I went through everything with a magnifying glass, especially when I came across the documents of three brand new trust fund accounts for our sons at a half-million apiece. The muthafuckas were just set up yesterday and my name wasn’t anywhere to be found. Then there was a large manila envelope addressed to Trae in today’s stack of mail. It stood out like a so
re thumb. I knew who it was from before I even opened it. She didn’t want me to miss it. Inside the manila envelope was a white tyvek envelope that had the picture of an ultrasound belonging to his bitch Charli Li. Sonofabitch. I closed the folder. I had to really think about this shit but not on an emotional level, which was hard as hell. I felt like my emotions were in the Matrix. They were twisting, turning, going upside down, inside out and I had broken into a cold sweat. I must have sat there for almost an hour before I regained my control. I took the envelope and put it away.

  I then turned my focus to the three trust funds. It took me a while to formulate my strategy but I just about had it all figured out.

  Then there was the matter of the receipt of the big ass, seven figure bank deposit. This Chinese bitch was undoubtedly somewhere close. Here I was ready to try and piece back our family and this nigga was still fucking with her.

  I called Trae and got his voicemail. “Trae, come home now. We need to talk. Now Trae.”

  SIX

  TRAE

  Tasha left me a message that she needed to see me now. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was ready for war but, I couldn’t put my finger on why. She said she was at home. Why was she even at the house? I thought that it was ironic that she was trying to have an attitude after she goes and fucks another nigga. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. She was back at the house and was going through my shit. Damn… I left all of the mail and the entire bank folder on the dining room table. Fuck!

  TASHA

  The sunlight peering through a slit in the drapes woke me up. I buried my face deep into my pillow and tried to go back to sleep. I was drained. I had waited up until after three for Trae. He never answered my calls nor did he bother to call me.

  On another note I was relieved that I was not suffering through morning sickness, but at the same time it had me skeptical. Carrying each and every one of Trae’s seeds had me sick as a dog for months. Could this really be Kyron’s baby that I was carrying in my stomach?