Justify My Thug

by Wahida Clark

  Weeks later I’m nauseous and throwing up at least twice a day. A quick visit to my doctor revealed that Charli Li, the least likely to ever get pregnant, was indeed pregnant. My initial reaction was disbelief and shock, then stunned silence and acceptance. It was meant to be. Aborting the pregnancy wasn’t even an option for me. The child growing inside of me was mine and my father would be pleased to have another Li heir.

  I had mixed emotions when I thought about whether or not to tell Mr. Macklin that I was pregnant. But eventually I decided that it was only fair to let him know. So I called him and gave him the good news. His reaction was one that I never expected. He laughed and hung up the phone. However, I managed to get his attention when I sent him a copy of the pregnancy test results. He called me shortly thereafter.

  “How did you let this happen?” he asked me.

  “You attacked me,” I replied. “Or have you forgotten?”

  “How do you know it’s mine?”

  When he asked me that, I exploded. And then he exploded. The conversation ended with him threatening me. I told him that I was leaving the country for a while and that I needed some time to think and decide my next move. After that conversation, I flew to Seoul, South Korea, where I am now. But now that my work is done, I’m heading back to the states, back to California and back into the arms of my child’s father.

  I laughed to myself as I thought about how my decision to have the baby probably wouldn’t sit well with Trae and undoubtedly he’d start again with the threats. Trae Macklin was a lot of things, but wise wasn’t one of them. All sex appeal, brawn, business-sense and hardly any brains. He had no clue that he was completely out of my league. Being the only child of one of the world’s most feared mob leaders, makes me a dangerous bitch. And with one phone call, Trae Macklin and his whole family would cease to exist. I silently prayed that he wouldn’t force me to make that call. Just thinking about him makes me weak in the knees. So, I’m now looking forward to paying Mr. Macklin a visit. After all, I do miss him and with what I have for him, I think he’ll be very glad to see me.

  Leaning forward, I hit the button on the desk phone. “Yes, Ms. Li?” my receptionist and cousin Sue Li responded.

  “If my father calls, please put him through to my cell. Call Captain Cheng and have him prepare the plane. I’ll be ready in precisely thirty minutes. Then page my assistant and tell him that I am ready to go home.”

  “Right away, Ms. Li.”

  TRAE

  I was sitting in the car trying to see where this nigga Lo was going. I needed to know where he rested so that I could put the other half of this puzzle together. At first I got the impression that Marv’s cousin Isis was loyal. But obviously it don’t take much for a friend to start flapping the gums. I tossed her a C-note and she began singing like a bird, as if she had a catalog as thick as the O’Jays. She was going non-stop. She told me how Marv was back in the game … and deep. And on top of that he was selling hammers, robbin’ and leanin’ on niggas. She was talkin’ like he was on some Omar bullshit like from The Wire! No wonder the club was on the radar. Here I was walking around as if my shit was squeaky clean, and this nigga had me dirtier than a muthafucka. From all the shit she told me, there was no doubt in my mind that many niggas was out to get at Marvin. I just had to find him first.

  When I caught up with Lo, he wasn’t as generous as Isis was with the info. I could tell that he was only giving me bits and pieces. I also sensed that he knew where Marvin was rested at. Lucky for him that at the time we were in a public spot. Not so lucky for me because then I had to follow his ass around. But I did get out of him that Kyra was shot in the head and he had to make Marv leave her because the police was coming and they were mad dirty. I asked him where the body was. He said he didn’t know and that I had to talk to Marv about that. He said he left him to go and handle the police nigga they had stuffed in the trunk and all of the work they had on them. So you see why I needed to talk to this nigga some more. I knew that he had all the answers I needed. I was very glad for the thrill and excitement because it took my mind off of Tasha. I was ready to release some tension … in a violent way.

  ANGEL

  Kaylin was obviously on his way home when his ass finally decided to call me. “Red, baby, I’m just checkin’ in. What’s going on? Are you and my baby alright?”

  I sucked my teeth, looked at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight and then decided against cussing him out. Instead I said, “Just checking in? It’s damn near two days later. Why couldn’t you answer your phone? I called you several times.”

  “Why do you think I didn’t answer the phone? And it hasn’t been two days.”

  “What did you say?” My blood pressure was almost at its boiling point. I know this nigga was not disrespecting me like this and on top of that, some asshole was laying on my doorbell. They wouldn’t stop ringing it. I was giving him one more chance. “Why haven’t you answered my calls, Kay?” Whoever was on my bell wouldn’t let up.

  “What nigga you got ringing my bell at midnight? And don’t be questioning me. Looks like I need to be the one doing the questioning.”

  I jumped up off the sofa trying to decide who’s going to receive a royal ass whipping, my husband or the fool that was laying on my doorbell. Since whoever was laying on my doorbell was closest, I went for it. I’d get with Kaylin later.

  “Answer the door and let your nigga in. I’ll talk to you later.”

  He had the nerve to hang up on me.

  Now I had smoke coming out of my ears. Later for who was at the door. It was on. I dialed Kaylin back and it went straight to voicemail. I stomped in place and threw the phone at the sofa. Since he wouldn’t answer, that meant the fool that was still laying on my doorbell was getting ready to feel my wrath.

  KAYLIN

  I ended the call with Angel and hit my camera button on my cell. As soon as I did, she snatched the door open with this crazed look on her face and I got my picture. She didn’t know how to react.

  “Oooh, I hate you,” she gritted. “Why you gotta do shit like that Kaylin?”

  “To get you all riled up, that’s why.”

  I put the phone away, stepped inside the doorway, dropped my bag and rushed her. I smashed her up against the wall, ran both hands up under her robe, rubbing her thighs before grabbing me two handfuls of her luscious ass. She roughly grabbed my face and kissed me. Her kiss was soft and long. I lifted her up and she wrapped both of her legs around my waist.

  “I missed you,” she told me and I could tell.

  “I missed you more.”

  “I was worried about you. I don’t like it when you don’t answer my calls. I always start thinking the worst has happened.” She kissed me again and now my dick was talking shit saying, “Yo nigga, we gonna do this or what?”

  I held her up with one arm, fumbled with my jeans and grabbed my joint. The head found her opening and she was already wet. I slid up in her right there up against the wall. The pussy received me well. I had her back smashed up against the wall and since she couldn’t move I fucked her as if I was gone for a couple of years instead of days. She held on tight and the seductive whimpers that escaped from her throat were letting me know that my dick game was on point. I got in as deep as I could; she grabbed me tighter and started whispering shit in my ear.

  “I’ma patent this big, brown dick. No nigga ever fucked me as good as you do.” She moaned as she nibbled on my ear. “This is my dick and this is your pussy. I’ll never give your pussy away.” That’s when I tried to tear the bottom out. She started yelling, “My spot babeee … aww shit you on … my spot,” she groaned. I was beatin’ it up.

  Her pussy started squeezing my dick as I stroked in and out, long and deep. She was cumming and I wanted to fuck her a little longer but I couldn’t hold back. That shit drove me over the wall. My dick started releasing a river load. We held onto each other as we rested against the wall. We were breathing as if we had just run a marathon. I raised her
a little and carried her to the sofa. I eased down with her still straddling my lap.

  “I love you,” she told me.

  “I love you more.”

  ANGEL

  I can never stay mad at Kaylin for too long. Well, that’s not totally true. I remember when he called off our wedding. I was not letting him go, in other words, no matter what, we would be walking down that aisle. And we did. We tied the knot right here in the living room around three in the morning. Nevertheless, I stayed mad at him for a long time. It’s a damn shame that once I get the dick all is forgiven. This time was no different. I ran my fingers across my husband’s handsome face. He was only gone for a couple of days but I swear it seemed like forever. I missed him lying in the bed next to me.

  “So, are you still mad at me? You still want your divorce?” I kissed him softly on the lips. “And do you still think I wouldn’t have told you about Tasha and Kyron if I knew?” I looked in his eyes for his answer.

  “Nah. I’m not mad at you anymore.” He pressed his lips against mine and slipped his tongue in my mouth. We tangled our tongues until I came up for air. “I thought you said you missed me?” my baby teased.

  “I do but let’s save some for our bedroom. And don’t try to get off the subject. Answer me, Kaylin.”

  “Why we got to save some good fuckin’ for the bedroom? We got enough to go around.”

  “Boy, stop being so greedy. Answer me and tell me about the trip.”

  “No, I don’t want a divorce. And I won’t answer the other question. I gotta hold something over your head.”

  “Stop playin’ with me Kaylin. Now tell me about the trip.” As soon as I said that, his forehead wrinkled up. “Was it that bad?” My heart rate sped up.

  “What part of the bad news you want first?”

  “Oh shit.” I put my hands over both of my ears. “None of it. I don’t want to know none of it.” And I didn’t. Tasha and her drama, I could deal with. But the possibility of my cousin being dead, that was just … unfathomable.

  He gently moved my hands away from my ears. “Well, I think you need to hear this.”

  I damn near held my breath because I knew that what I was getting ready to hear was not going to make me feel good.

  KAYLIN

  I swear I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news to my baby. Kyra and Angel were not only first cousins but they were like best friends.

  “Trae went snooping around Marvin’s old hangout, talking to his cousins. They told him that Marvin was gettin’ jacked while Kyra and Aisha were in the car and that niggas was blastin’.” Angel gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. I gently removed them and held her hands into mine. “Baby, don’t go jumping to conclusions because no bodies were found and Trae is looking into that.”

  “Then why haven’t we heard from her? And what about Aisha talking about her mother is dead?” Red got choked up.

  “I don’t know baby. It’s possible that some foul shit went down, we just don’t know what. But like I said, no bodies have turned up.”

  “Kaylin, we talkin’ about the streets. We talkin’ about Marvin. A body may never turn up. And speaking of Marvin, where is he? Why hasn’t anyone heard from him? What did he do to my cousin?” Angel burst into tears.

  “We don’t know what’s up yet, baby. Hope to have some answers for you soon.”

  That’s all I could say at the moment. I hugged my wife as she sobbed quietly in my chest. I kept thinking about Trae. I couldn’t shake my thoughts of him. This nigga was a walking powder keg. I know him. I just hoped he wouldn’t do anything that I wouldn’t be able to get him out of.

  ANGEL

  As I sat up in bed staring down at my husband sleeping peacefully, I couldn’t shake the haunting thought that Kyra may be dead. Damn. Were we so caught up in our own bullshit that we ignored the signs? Why didn’t I hear her cry for help? What kind of cousin am I that I didn’t even check on her or wonder why I hadn’t heard from her in months? I covered my mouth as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I feared the worst, and the sad part is we couldn’t place all of the blame on Marvin. We all could share the blame equally. Each and every one of us was so caught up in our own separate little worlds. We were so disillusioned by the notion that we had gotten ourselves together, that in reality we have damn near been fucking up more than cleaning up.

  I had to do something. But what? Where would I start to look? Then it hit me. There was one lawyer out west who owed me favors. Favors as in more than one. It was time for me to cash in on them.

  TRAE

  It took me three days to finally catch Lo like I wanted to. The way I was moving I felt like a certified bounty hunter. I found out that he had a house on LaBrea Avenue in the Jungle section of LA that was a Blood stronghold. Breaking into the house, I discovered that he lived with his woman. Climbing the stairs quickly and quietly, I found her asleep in a bed in one of the bedrooms. Since I was tired from chasing this nigga for the past three days, and the fact that I didn’t feel like the whole screaming, tying her up, and crying bullshit, I smothered her until she went limp. I then checked her pulse. She was gone. I went downstairs, grabbed a seat and then waited patiently for Lo.

  There is nothing like the element of surprise. About an hour and a half later, he came strolling into the house and I caught his ass totally off guard. He tried to put up a fight because I was sure that he was using them hard drugs just like Marv. I was able to subdue him quickly, knocking him the fuck out. I then dragged his unconscious form to the back of the house. I found some table linen in a closet in the hallway. Using a kitchen knife, I shredded the table cloth and used it to tie him up and with the remaining pieces I gagged him. Once he was in the helpless position that I wanted him in, I grabbed a chair and sat so that I was facing him. I poured a big cup of cold water, and threw it in his face and smacked him. His eyes opened and settled right on me.

  “It’s me again, son. Remember the other day when we talked? I didn’t feel that you were keepin’ it 100 with me. You were giving me bits and pieces and not the whole shit.” I pulled my .45 out of my waist and pressed it up against his temple. “I think we need to talk again. But this time, I’m gonna need you to fill in the blanks. You think you can do that for me? If so, nod your head.”

  When Lo didn’t nod his head, I smiled. “So you think I’m bullshittin’ huh? I can respect that.” I left him on the floor and stood up to look for the kitchen knife. It was right there on the table where I had left it. I took the knife and stabbed him in the shoulder. I stuck the blade as far as it would go, twisting it before I yanked it out. For several minutes I watched the dripping blood. His muffled scream didn’t faze me at all. I stood and walked over to the cabinet on the wall. Opening a couple of drawers, I found exactly what I was looking for. I grabbed the Morton’s salt box and went back to my victim. Adjusting the spout so that most of the salt poured out, I began dumping it into the gaping shoulder wound. He began to yelp like a dog does when you step on his tail.

  He started screaming again as I took my finger and gathered the salt around the wound. I then took my finger and the salt and stuffed it inside the wound. He screamed out again, but the gag was doing its job of muffling the sounds.

  Satisfied with the result I was getting, I said, “Shhhhhh! Gangstas don’t scream, Lo. That’s what you are, right? A ‘G’. And you’re trying to prove to me how gangsta you are, right? Well, I don’t believe you, son. I think another couple of pokes with this knife will break that gangsta shit down.”

  I pulled him over until he was on his back with his hands under him. I stabbed him in his other shoulder and repeated my salt routine with that wound. The nigga had the nerve to pass out. I got up to get more water and splashed him again.

  “Wake up, you muthafuckin’ gangsta. What the fuck are you doing? You giving real gangstas a bad look, fainting and shit. I need you to stay with me now. If you tell me what I wanna know, I’ma let you live. If you wanna be gangsta and keep quiet I’ma put
you in that gangsta lean, feel me? Now, I’ma take that rag out of your mouth. If you try anything other than telling me what I want to hear, I’ma blow your head into this wooden floor. Closed casket. But not before stabbing your legs and doin’ our little salt thing, since you seem to like it so much. If you understand me nod.”

  Lo nodded his head as tears ran down his cheeks. I pulled the gag out of his mouth. “Now, from the top, tell me everything that happened the night Kyra got shot and then I want to know exactly where Marvin is.”

  After allowing Lo to speak for about fifteen minutes, I got up, pulled his head back and slit his throat open. I got all I could from him and hoped that it was everything I needed. After leaving out the back door, I hopped over the fence and that’s when I noticed all of the blood on my pants. Wasn’t half as much on my shirt. My phone vibrated and I didn’t even look at it because I knew who it was. I made my way to my ride, jumped in and took off. After five minutes my cell vibrated again. It vibrated on and off for the next half hour. I knew it was Tasha before I finally decided to answer it.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “What do you mean what’s up? Where are you? You could have at least checked in. Your mother called looking for you, the boys called and I didn’t know what to tell them.” Tasha was amped. She had been blowing my phone up the last twenty-four hours, but I was on a mission. “Did you find out anything?”

  “I’m on my way to the house. Let me call you when I get there.”