Justify My Thug

by Wahida Clark

  I used my lips and tongue to play with the head. This always drove him insane. He was anxious for me to deep throat his shit but he had been a very bad boy and didn’t deserve it. He grabbed my hair.

  “Baby, what’s good?” he asked me in desperation as I continued to tease him without mercy. “Swallow my shit,” he begged.

  I stopped giving him head altogether and leaned upward remaining on my knees.

  “Oh, it’s like that?” He had the nerve to sound as if he had a slight attitude.

  “Yeah, nigga it’s like that. But I’m not stopping you from doing you.”

  Still on my knees, Trae leaned me backward. He spread my thighs and pulled me to the edge of the bed. Holding all of his weight up, he climbed on top of me and made penetration. Now it was his turn to tease me and drive me insane. Since my legs were folded back, I couldn’t move. He had total control. I could only tightly clench my sheets. He fucked me the way he wanted to. Going all the way in, coming out, hitting my spot and then acting as if he couldn’t find it. He wanted me to beg. Beg him to fuck me harder. Beg him to punish my spot until I came. Beg him to stop pulling all the way out and then plunging in deep and stopping. But I wouldn’t beg. I refused. Then his mouth covered mine. We kissed as he stroked real slow. The tears fell from the corners of my eyes. He was on my spot again. And then I did what I said I would never do again, I begged. “Babeeeee, pleasssse.” He had a smirk on his face that said he won. I submitted to him. And for that I was rewarded with a dick that murdered my g-spot and an orgasm filled with fireworks.

  TRAE

  Lil’ Wayne said it best, “Oooh shit, muthafucka, got damn!” You talking about pussy being good. I know she thought that I was trying to be funny and get her back for not swallowing my dick, but that was not the case. Her pussy was so good, that if I didn’t keep changing up my strokes I would have become a one minute man. The thought of her possibly being pregnant by some other nigga made me angry. That’s when I was finally able to grab this horse by the reigns and bring it home. I was no longer reveling in how good the pussy felt. I started hittin’ my baby’s spot and when she started speaking in tongues, I knew she was gone.

  “This is what you wanted right? That’s why you ain’t have on no panties. You wanted me to fuck you just like this. Didn’t you?” I was talking shit as she was cumming. I held mine back because I wanted to come in her mouth. I pulled out and dived straight into the pussy. I needed to taste that sweet nectar that was just released. She tried to stop me but I kept feasting while bringing her to another body wrenching orgasm.

  “Oh shit.” She kept mumbling. “Shit.”

  I got up off the bed, and stood there, patiently waiting, and watching her recover as I stroked myself, my dick on swole. My wife was so fuckin’ beautiful. Her hair was sprawled across the sheets; her breasts and stomach were glistening with sweat. Hands down, she was just a fuckin’ dime. She opened her eyes and saw me standing there. She smiled, stretched out her legs and watched me continue to do me.

  “Come over here and talk to him. Tell him how much you miss him.” I said as I continued to stroke my handle.

  Tasha lay there from back-to-back monster orgasms. If she didn’t hurry and get up, I was going to have to slide up in that pussy again, even though I wanted to feel her lips wrapped around my dick. I was beyond ready. She must have read my mind because she slowly and seductively got up off the bed and came over to where I was. She placed one hand around the back of my neck and started tonguing me down and grabbed my dick with her other hand. I closed my eyes as she began to plant kisses on my neck, chest, and getting down on her knees, she licked and sucked my abs.

  Finally … her lips were wrapped around the head and she was sucking it as if her life depended on it. When I felt my joint going down her throat, I said it out loud this time. “Shit, muthafucka, got damn.” I was through at that point. I busted all in her mouth and as my knees buckled, I watched as she slurped and swallowed until her heart was content.

  She finally stood up and we went wild tasting each other’s juices as we always do. Her cell was constantly ringing and then she stopped kissing me and mumbled, “Shit, I forgot about Trina.”

  I said, “What? Shit, I was getting ready for round three.” She rushed to the nightstand to answer her phone. I went and stood behind her, planting hickies on her neck. I could hear Trina’s big ass mouth loud and clear.

  “Tasha, what the fuck are you doing? Why aren’t you answering the phone? I’m on my way to pick you up. We can’t miss the flight. I already told Kendrick what time we would get in.”

  “Let me call you right back.”

  “Call me right back for what? I’m packed, in the cab and on my way over.”

  “Trina, let me call you right back.” She hung up the phone.

  I stopped kissing on my wife and stepped back. I wanted to see if Tasha was going to lie to me. “What was that all about?”

  “I told Trina to make reservations for us to go to New York.”

  “What the fuck for?”

  She hesitated and then said, “I was planning on leaving you and getting my kids.”

  “Your kids? Those are our kids. And leaving me? For what? So you could be with your little boy toy? Leaving me? Why?”

  “Trae, what do you mean why? We haven’t been on the best of terms lately, have you noticed? I was mad and hating you, you were mad and hating me, so what do you mean for what and why?”

  “You want to leave?” I yelled as I snatched up my boxers and jeans and put them on. “Your ass is here fucking me all the while making plans to go see your fuckin …” I was so heated I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth.

  “I told you I was mad, Trae. I was leaving you. It wasn’t like I was fucking you and planning to leave at the same time.” She was now yelling and putting on her clothes.

  “So what’s it going to be Tasha?”

  “At this point. I don’t know. You tell me Trae.”

  “Oh, you don’t know? Well I’ma tell you what you’re gonna do. I grabbed her by her throat. “You’re gonna call this nigga and tell him you ain’t coming up there because y’alls little game is over and if the baby is his, you are getting rid of it. And then pass me the muthafuckin’ phone.” I pushed her onto the bed, snatched up her cell phone and threw it at her. “Call him Tasha. ‘Cause you really got me fucked up.”

  “Nigga, please, don’t act like your ass is such a fucking angel,” she screamed and threw the phone back at me. I caught it before it hit me in the face.

  “I fucked up. I know it. How many times do you want me to say the shit?”

  “That depends on how many times you kept fucking up, nigga!”

  “You know what? Get the fuck out. Go be with your little boyfriend. And make sure that when you kiss him, and when he eats your pussy you let him know that he’s sucking my dick.”

  “I will. And make sure you let your little Chinese bitch know that she’s sucking my pussy.”

  “See. That’s your muthafuckin’ problem. You still think I’m fuckin’ with her. You just refuse to let the shit go. I’m trying to make shit right, but it’s obvious that you don’t want to, so fuck it. I’ma do me and go ahead and fuck the bitch since that’s what you want to hear.”

  Just that quick, our home turned into a war zone. My wife hauled back and slapped the shit out of me. Without thinking, this time I grabbed her neck with both of my hands and was trying to strangle her to death. Her eyes started bulging and the color was draining from her face. She was frantically flailing her arms. That’s when I caught myself. Shit. I had temporarily lost it. I let her go. And she was coughing and gagging. I stood there rubbing my hands across my face and heard, not believing that I was that close to taking my wife out.

  “You … tried … to … kill me.” She burst out crying. “You actually tried to kill me. This was the second time today,” she said as if she didn’t believe what just happened. She now looked scared.

  “Tasha I—”<
br />
  “Get the fuck away from me!” She was moving to the other side of our bedroom like a frightened child.

  “Tasha you know—”

  “Get away from me, Trae. I’m out of here.”

  TASHA

  I couldn’t believe my Trae had just tried to kill me. And on top of that, he had the balls to say that he was going to fuck that Chinese bitch. That made me madder than him trying to kill me. “Fuck you and that Chinese, Korean, Jamaican, mutt. I hope y’all make another baby because I damn sure knocked that one out of her.”

  He pushed me backwards and I fell onto the bed.

  “We’ve been reduced to you putting your hands on me now? I hate you. And I’m out of here. If we weren’t finished before, we damn sure are finished now.” I screamed at him as he hovered over me. I could tell that he was not himself and I needed to get the fuck out of there before it was too late.

  “You’re not going anywhere.” That’s when I kicked him in the balls. That shit took his ass down to one knee. I jumped up. “It’s over. I’m moving out for good and I’m taking the kids with me. I hope you find what you’re looking for in that little Chinese bitch.” I ran outside praying that my sister would be out there waiting.

  TRAE

  This shit was unreal. I didn’t know who this lady was. She was not my wife. Hell, I didn’t know who I was. I would never put my hands on Tasha like that. And she would never have kicked me in the nuts, fuck another nigga, threaten to leave me and take our kids. I tried to stand up. I couldn’t let her leave me. But shit, that kick in the nuts knocked all of the wind out of me. By the time I was able to make it downstairs, she was walking down the block. I ran after her.

  “Baby, listen. Please.”

  “Listen? What could you possibly say?” I tried to reach for her and she started spazzing out. “Don’t you fuckin’ put your hands on me! You forgot that you just tried to kill me? You already said we are finished! So we are finished.” She turned around and started walking faster.

  “We are not finished and you ain’t bouncin’ on me like that.” I quickened my steps to keep up with her.

  “Watch me. It’s over, Trae. Accept it. I can’t believe you still fucking her.”

  She refused to let that shit go. “I’m not fucking her. She came by to drop off some of the money that she owed me.”

  “She came by?” She stopped dead in her tracks. “She came by? Some of the money? She could have mailed that shit, Trae. She knows Benny. And some of the money? That means she has to come by again. You know what, go ahead and do you.”

  A cab pulled up and the back door flew open. “Tasha, are you—”

  “Don’t get out of the car Trina.” Tasha had the nerve to yell at her sister.

  “You got your stuff?” Trina was standing there looking at the both of us, trying to figure out what had just happened.

  “I don’t need shit. I’m out.” She pushed Trina over in the back seat and got in.

  And just like that, she was gone … again.

  SEVEN

  FAHEEM

  Oni was dropping Faheem off at seven this morning. I couldn’t sleep so I got up and headed for my backyard. The early morning was my favorite time of day. I had to admit, my garden was the shit, the best on the entire block. I turned on the sprinklers and admired my landscaping. I had a man-made pond that had four different tropical fish and three exotic turtles. It had a five-foot waterfall that constantly ran and gave off those soothing, running water sounds. I sat on my stool for the next half hour and got my meditation in. I then did a few hundred push-ups, turned off the sprinklers and hit the shower.

  I was surprised when I got the call last night from Oni, asking if she could bring my son over the following morning. This would be the first day that me and my son would spend time together. My plan was to stay around the house and get to know him. Jaz was taking Kaeerah to her soccer game, leaving me and little man to get acquainted. She was excited for me.

  “Daddy, I want to meet my little brother,” my baby girl announced as she followed me downstairs into the kitchen. “Can I? Can I, pretty pleeeese?”

  “Of course you can. Right after you wash your face, brush your teeth and go to soccer practice.”

  “I don’t wanna go to soccer practice. I can stay home right, daddy?”

  “What was our agreement? No more missed practices, right?”

  “Awwww dad.”

  “Don’t aww dad me. You know what our agreement was.” I watched as my smart little angel made an about face and marched upstairs.

  ONI

  I hadn’t seen or spoken to Faheem since the night he left my house in a tizzy. Lil’ Faheem’s babysitter went to Florida for a week, so I didn’t have a sitter. I didn’t trust just anybody with my son but I did trust Faheem. So I took a deep breath and called him. I usually worked from Friday night to Sunday afternoon straight. The weekends are the most busy times at the hotel. Me and my brothers own and operate three Suite Tree Hotels here in Atlanta. Each one of us is responsible for one hotel, but we run all three together. We cater to families on vacation and to the business traveler.

  I hated that Faheem was now living in the same state and now I was forced to deal with him. I wasn’t trying to kid myself, I still was not over him and I knew that having to interact with him was not going to be easy. So here I was, standing on his porch at 7:30 in the morning, ringing his doorbell. My … our son was excited. After days of questioning me, he was finally at his father’s house. But actually I think he was more excited about meeting his sister than getting with his dad. I smoothed over his clothes and checked his backpack for the hundredth time to make sure I didn’t forget anything. Then I stood there fidgeting with my hair and clothes.

  Faheem answered the door and stepped out onto the porch. He didn’t acknowledge me but smiled at our son. Before he could say anything, Lil’ Faheem asked, “Daddy, is my baby sister home?”

  Faheem was still smiling. “Yes she is, but she’s not a baby. The both of you are the same age.”

  Lil’ Faheem then turned to me and said, “Mommy, you said she was the baby.”

  Faheem didn’t give me a chance to respond to him. “Well, I’ll tell you what. Say goodbye to your mom and we’ll go inside. And when you see her, you tell me if she’s a baby or a big girl. Do we have a deal?”

  Lil’ Faheem nodded in agreement, looked at me and waved goodbye. They both disappeared into the house. I was left standing on the porch wondering how long Faheem planned on giving me the silent treatment.

  Phoenix, Arizona

  Nurse Wright yawned, looked at her watch and stood up. It was 4:44 a.m. They were short staffed as usual, so that meant that she had to sponge bathe her three patients and probably two more. Since Brown Doe was the smallest, she decided to start with her first. She stepped inside of room 703 and turned on the light. In all of her sixteen years she had never seen anyone in a coma who was so strong willed. Brown Doe was hanging in there. She had been transferred around as if she was a foster child. The coma patients she had previously cared for, most them either gave up or their families gave up and pulled the plug. Well, if Brown Doe had a family they probably would have lost patience and given up too. It had been months and Miss Brown Doe needed to wake up soon because her charity was running out.

  Nurse Wright began humming her song for the day, “Amazing Grace,” as she prepared to give Brown Doe a sponge bath. Calling someone Jane Doe was so impersonal to her and she didn’t get down like that. Plus the young lady had such a rich brown complexion. If it wasn’t for the stretch marks on the girl’s stomach, she would pass for a teenager. That’s what everyone else thought but Nurse Wright knew better. This was a grown woman and judging by the old scars on her arm, she knew that this young lady came with some history.

  Nurse Wright wiggled Brown Doe out of her hospital robe and sponged her down. She then lotioned up her body with the Avon lotion she brought from home. It kept Brown Doe’s skin nice and soft. She then eased h
er small frame into a clean gown. As Nurse Wright stood there looking over her patient, she decided that she would swab Brown Doe’s mouth, since it was so hard to use a toothbrush and then the last thing she would do was twist her hair. She smiled at that thought. Since Nurse Wright had long, dark, red locks up in a bun, she kept Brown Doe’s locks up in a ponytail. They weren’t long enough yet to twist up into a bun.

  As she busied herself with dumping the pail that was used for the sponge bath and filling up the small toothbrush bowl, she recalled the big ugly scar that was on the right side of her head. Now, with her new growth of hair, it was 90% covered. Wetting the swab first, she smeared a smidgen of tooth gel on it. She held Brown Doe’s mouth open while brushing her teeth and gums at the same time. To Nurse Wright’s surprise Brown Doe started gagging. She stopped swabbing and stood back. Brown Doe kept gagging and then she started choking. Her eyes popped open and then she sat straight up, choking and gagging.

  The heart monitor began beeping fast and steady.

  In a room down the hall, Brown Doe’s doctor and a nurse watched the heart monitor screen light up. “Is that room 703?” Nurse Nevins asked Dr. Shalala.

  “My sweet Jesus!” They heard Nurse Wright shriek from way down the hall. “Oh my God!” The young lady who she had been taking care of for almost five months was throwing up. Nurse Wright hit the call button. “Brown Doe is awake! Brown Doe is awake!” she yelled. “Get Dr. Kerr or Dr. Shalala in here stat!”

  Dr. Shalala and Nurse Nevins were already sprinting down the hall.

  FAHEEM

  After leaving Chuck-E-Cheese, me and Kaeerah dropped off Lil’ Faheem at his mom’s. When we pulled up into the driveway, she came out the house and met us.

  “Would you like to come in?” she had the nerve to ask me. I waited until my son grabbed his toys and got out before responding.

  When he was up on the front porch I said, “I want you to remember that I ain’t ya fuckin’ friend. Seven fuckin’ years, Oni?” I wasn’t trying to hide my disappointment and disgust. She hung her head and I put the car in reverse and left.