The Diary of a Side Chick 6 (SCD)

by Tamicka Higgins

  Gwen was definitely lucky her babies only suffered from slight withdrawals when they were younger, and she was lucky that other than that, they were born full term. It was almost unheard of for a baby to survive through what she had put them through, but it seemed that she honestly lucked out. Devyn’s father was never in the picture and officially dipped out of their lives after Chris was born. He only came around to smoke up with their mother or to sleep around with her. Her mother and father’s relationship was almost identical to the one that Devyn was currently in. There was never any exchanges of “I love you” and there were no hugs or kisses. It was just volatile, and that was what Devyn and Chris grew up knowing. Apparently, love meant being punched in the face and told how pathetic one was. Love was a violent concept for Devyn.

  Devyn’s grandmother was the one who basically raised her and her brother, up until she was about 15 and Chris was 14. Their grandmother unfortunately passed away from leukemia, and that was the saddest day for Chris and Devyn. It was a pivotal moment. It was then that Devyn realized she had to fend for herself, and that Chris had free reign to go on and do whatever he pleased. Gwen also saw this as an opportunity to leave the house and visit crack houses to get her fix, sometimes staying there for days or weeks at a time. The entire family laughed at them and saw Devyn, Chris, and their mother as just like them or anyone else in that disgusting city.

  Devyn’s extended family never cared for each other and just worried about their own. The only thing they all had in common was that they all were involved with drugs. There was definitely nothing positive about the environment that Devyn lived in, but she felt the need to be serious and get her life together after she had her son. Her family still discouraged her and told her she was going to amount to nothing. They told her that she should go back to being in a gang or selling her body on the street to make her living because she really wasn’t anything special. She didn’t listen to them though. She believed she was going to make something of herself, and she felt that with her man beside her, she could conquer the world. Even if it meant that her man was abusive and controlling. To her, all that mattered was that he was there for her.

  A main reason she thought having a small funeral was a good idea was because she didn’t want to have attention drawn to her. She was already trying to hide the truth about where her baby was from Marcus, and she knew it was only a matter of time before he actually found out. That thought in itself was enough to scare Devyn into not having a funeral at all, but she knew she was still going to have one. She wanted to give them the respect they deserved.

  Devyn rolled over and took a deep breath, thinking of all the possible scenarios that could happen if Marcus so happened to find out that she was holding the funeral. Her heart started to race as she thought about him finding out and then coming to kill her right then and there. An awful image of her lying dead over her baby’s casket flashed into her mind. She quickly got up and shook off the horrible feelings that were quickly coming over her, and she ran over to the bathroom to splash some cool water onto her face.

  When Devyn finally gathered herself together and calmed down, she looked over at the clock and realized it was time to go ahead and get ready for work. She patted her face dry and took a couple of deep breaths before heading back into her room to get ready to leave the house for the rest of the night.

  *

  Devyn was running around in circles, serving the midnight crowd of people who came into Mel’s Diner. Being in the busy environment helped her to forget all that was going on in her life. She continued to smile and provide excellent customer service to all who walked in. Her manager watched her as she served everyone and although it wasn’t evident to anyone else, he was able to catch that she was off her game. She looked like she was hiding something.

  Time had flown and it was already about to be the end of her shift. She walked to the back and tossed down her towel, leaning up against the wall to catch her breath.

  “Devyn, can I talk to you?” her manager asked, as he rounded the corner and stood in front of her.

  “Yeah, sure. Is everything alright?” Devyn said as she sat on a crate, leaning up against the wall.

  “I should be the one asking you that question. Is everything alright? You are doing good as always out there, so this isn’t a chat about your performance. There is no problem here at all. I just can’t shake this feeling I have that you’re going through something. Can I help you with anything?”

  Devyn looked up at him and chuckled. She took a deep breath and lifted up her feet to better elevate them.

  “No, no. I’m alright really! Just some family drama is all, but I thought I was doing a good job hiding it. I guess not, huh? All I know is, if you want to go on and rub my feet or provide me with a massage chair, feel free to. That my friend, would be the greatest help.”

  They both laughed, and he felt a little more at ease seeing her in good spirits. Devyn got up and headed back onto the floor after reassuring her manager that she was honestly okay. After finishing up her last few tables, she clocked out and headed home.

  The diner wasn't too far from her house so she got home in a reasonable amount of time. When she arrived, she hopped in the shower and washed away the griminess of working long tedious late night hours. The hot shower relieved her of her stress and helped her to relax. She then got dressed and snuggled under her covers. As she drifted in and out of sleep, she found herself thinking about the funeral and the plans she was going to have to make in order for it to go smoothly without bringing attention onto herself. She didn't want anyone to see the funeral at all and report what they saw to Marcus. Him finding out was inevitable, but Devyn wanted to repress that thought and possibility as much as she could.

  Chapter 5:

  Devyn popped out of bed in a panic and rushed over to her bathroom.

  “Shit, shit, shit. I'm going to be late. I'm going to be so fucking late!” She mumbled as she washed her face and brushed her teeth. She quickly ran back into her room and violently opened her closet door to grab her uniform. As she was putting on her clothes, she looked at the clock and realized it was only eight in the morning. She then looked over at her calendar and realized that she had the day off. Devyn ripped off her clothes and climbed back into bed. She slowed her breathing so that her heart would stop beating so fast. She rubbed her face and sunk her head deeper into the pillow. She had only slept for four hours, and she came to the conclusion that her exhaustion was getting the best of her and making her do crazy things.

  After laying down for a while and finally calming down, Devyn got out of bed and headed into her living room. She flipped on the TV before heading into her kitchen to make some oatmeal and coffee. It was just background noise for her to listen to so it wasn't eerily quiet in her little apartment. As she was making her cup of coffee and starting up the stove to boil her water, she heard the news come on. At first, she shrugged it off and assumed it was just more boring politics and coverage that didn't pertain to anything she honestly cared about. But then the details of a certain shooting was being covered and this caught her attention. She immediately stopped what she was doing and glued her eyes to the screen, waiting to hear what else was being covered. Her heart started to race again and this time her anxiety was taking over, making her freeze up in fear. She made her way over to the couch and clenched tightly her cup of piping hot coffee.

  “Today we are covering the shooting that happened not too long ago that involved two people, what looked like a mother and her child…”

  Devyn’s heart was about to leap from her chest as she shakily placed down her coffee cup, not wanting it to spill all over her just in case her hands got the best of her and caused her to jerk the cup.

  “It is definitely an unfortunate loss, Dawn. It looked like the two were going out to the store when they were horrifically gunned down.”

  Devyn unconsciously floated towards the screen and was literally inches away from it. This was it, now her mother and son
’s death tale was being projected for everyone to hear. Everyone, including Marcus. She was in deep shit. She was two seconds from having to go into some serious hiding, like underground house type of deal.

  “The victims are unknown still, but it has been identified that the young boy was about 16, and the mother looked to be about 38. It is still unknown as to why they were shot down. As this story develops, stay tuned. This is Dawn with--”

  Devyn cut off the TV and laid on the floor, breathing harder than ever. She honestly thought that they were covering about her mother and son.

  “Thank God, they ain’t cover momma’s story. Shit, I damn near had a heart attack. Guess they story ain’t important enough to make headline news. I mean, I ain’t mad, that’s just good on my part. The more info that don’t get leaked, the better I find myself. Fuck man.”

  Devyn felt like she had just dodged a bullet and in a sense she sort of had. Marcus was going to eventually find out, there was no doubt about that, but Devyn felt like she still had some time before he did. Or maybe he did and she just didn’t know. All she knew was she was afraid of the repercussions of what may happen if and when he did find out.

  After getting herself together, Devyn got up and finished making breakfast. It seemed like a lot of time had passed since she left the boiling water because by the time she got back to it, there was basically nothing left. She laughed and turned off the stove, coming to the conclusion that instant oatmeal in a bowl in the microwave was her best bet.

  Knock, knock.

  Devyn froze in fear. The fear of being on constant lookout honestly killed her. The fear inhibited her life and took over everything she did.

  Knock, knock, click.

  “Shit,” Devyn muttered, as she grabbed a kitchen knife. She forgot that she left her door unlocked. She was so tired and delusional that when she came home from work at four in the morning, she was more concerned about taking off her shoes and getting into her bed versus locking her door.

  “Dev! Hey girl!”

  It was Makayla. She sauntered into the kitchen and tilted her head.

  “Uh, girl? What the fuck? Why yo ass holdin’ a knife like that? I ain’t see any chicken round you ass. Uh, you gone slice me up? Damn, cuh! I thought we was cool? I came to visit yo ass and you tryna kill me? Aight then…”

  Devyn looked at her all confused before she remembered that she was holding the knife. She dropped the knife and ran up to Makayla to hug her. Makayla and Devyn had been best friends about a year before Devyn’s grandmother passed. They were identical in several different aspects. They were both 5’7 and had similar colored skin, both being a flawless caramel tone. They both had fit and tight bodies and they always cared about how they looked and dressed. They both had long, waist length weaves. The only difference between the two was that Devyn’s weave was black and wavy whereas Makayla’s was platinum and pin straight.

  After her grandmother died, Devyn was basically left to fend for herself. Makayla stepped up and acted like her big sister being that she was about a year older than Devyn was. They both found themselves running the streets together making money through selling drugs, a little bit of prostitution, and stripping. It was real sweet and cute when they were making their money and getting approached by men who had powerful reputations in the gangs. They both came from broken homes and both had the void of being wanted. Makayla’s story was pretty similar to Devyn’s in regards to her family not really giving a damn about her immediate family and that her parents were both addicts. It was reverse from Devyn’s life for Makayla being that Makayla’s dad stuck around for a little, and her mother straight dipped out of her life. He didn’t stay for too long though. He walked out of her life when she was about 12, the most vulnerable stage of her life when she was trying to figure out who she was. She found refuge with the Royals before she met Devyn, and then later introduced Devyn to the Royals after they were more acquainted.

  In a way, the Royals led those two poor girls to believe that staying with the Royals would be the best move ever. The Royals promised the two beautiful girls loyalty and the good life, but the two found themselves getting sucked in deeper into the game and trapped. They didn’t really mind it at first and found it comfortable. They had the attention, the money, and each other, so they honestly couldn’t see what bad could come from their involvement. Unfortunately, the game got too real for Devyn and she wanted out. But due to her involvement with Marcus, who was part of the Royals, she was already branded and stuck under his control. One thing led to another and she ended up pregnant with his child. When he started getting really abusive, she moved out and Makayla was there to help her out with everything. Life was getting better for her now that she was out of his space. She was able to breathe and was able to get a real job instead of having to depend on her crazy baby daddy to pay for her rent and bring food to the table.

  With her new job as a server at the diner, she had crazy hours she had to fulfill. While she worked, she had her momma watch the baby so she could make enough to support herself and her child. She didn’t like the idea of leaving him with her momma because of her habits, but she really didn’t have much of a choice. There was no way she could leave her baby with his father, and her best friend was still associated with the Royals so if she were to leave the baby with Makayla, his whereabouts would have been easy for Marcus to find out. Devyn didn’t have any family members to turn to, and her brother definitely was out of the question. He had a hate for the child because of the fact that he was created from someone in the Royals. So sadly, after weighing everything out, her only option was to let her mother watch her.

  It was a hard decision for Devyn to let her mom watch her baby because she knew her mother wasn’t anywhere near coming off that drug. She knew that the woman was going to go down dying an addict with no signs of trying to help herself off of it. Devyn never understood why she was such a heavy abuser, and her mother never told her why she did what she did. Devyn was only left to assume it was just something her family all did so it was inevitable for her mother to fall into the same trap. She never understood that concept because although her life was shit and it was common for family members to fall into the trap, she never became too addicted to any type of drug. Yeah, she abused alcohol but never enough for it to take over her life and have her depend on it. Maybe momma was just too stressed, and no one had taught her any different.

  Devyn finally let go of Makayla after hugging her for a long time and took a couple of steps back.

  “Girl, what up wit you? Why was yo ass holdin that knife like that fo? You seem paranoid as a motherfucker. You on somethin?”

  Devyn lowered her head and chuckled as she ran her hand through her own hair.

  “Nah, nah. I ain’t on anything. But I’m sorry, Mak. I just been on edge since momma and baby died. You really the only one who know what up with the whole situation. I’m afraid Marcus dumbass is gone find out and come runnin’ after me.”

  Makayla’s eyes widened in fear for her own best friend. The last thing Makayla wanted or needed was for her best friend to die at the hands of Devyn’s crazy, abusive, ridiculous, baby daddy. Although Makayla was apart of the Royals, she wasn’t a fan of Marcus, at all.

  “Aight, in that case, we need to hurry the fuck up and get this funeral going.”

  Devyn nodded and they both sat at the kitchen table. They shuffled the papers and laid out all the important ones. Makayla noticed Devyn becoming upset and reached over to take her pile of papers.

  “No worries. I’ll handle this, and I’ll take care of them notes. You just tell me if you don’t agree with something, aight?”

  Devyn bit her quivering lip and nodded. Makayla looked over the papers and began writing on a notepad. Devyn leaned over and tried to take a peek at what she was writing, but Makayla quickly snapped the notepad so it was out of sight.

  “I thought you said…” Devyn started but was stopped midsentence when Makayla rose a finger to silence her.

&
nbsp; “I know what I said. Just keep quiet you impatient ass motherfucker. I love you girl, I really really do, but damn! You gotta just hold the fuck up, aight?”

  Makayla returned to her task at hand and kept on taking notes. Devyn waited patiently until Makayla shuffled all the papers together and placed them aside. She looked up at Devyn with eager eyes and looked like she was ready to present her case.

  “Well?” Devyn asked, as she prepared herself for whatever Makayla was about to throw down.

  “We can hold the funeral in a couple of days, and I don’t mind paying for everything! We can get good ol’ Jenkins to say some words over Momma and Zion. The caskets ain’t gonna cost us too much. I know someone who can get me really nice ones. It’ll just be us, so it won’t be much. I gotchu, aight?”

  Devyn got up and wrapped her arms around Makayla. She sat in her lap as she hugged her tightly. She was so thankful for a friend like her who was willing to step in and step up when no one else would. Makayla truly was her ride or die.