Resolution (A Golden Beach Novel)

by Kim Loraine

  After ten minutes passed, he took a steadying breath and forced himself to put one foot in front of the other as he headed toward the house, ready to bring his family home.

  Chapter 27

  The house was blissfully empty as Lauren turned on some music and nursed a cup of tea. She sighed as she moved around the cozy living room, snagging the latest paperback from one of her favorite authors out of her tote. She’d been ready for some time to herself, and thanks to her newfound understanding with Dean, she was finally able to get just that. The baby danced in her belly as she reclined on the couch, feet up, book resting on her bump. Every so often, the little one would kick so hard Lauren’s book would bounce, making her giggle.

  Just as things were getting interesting in the story, the doorbell rang, setting a frown on her face until she remembered she’d ordered Thai food. It was going to give her wicked heartburn to eat this late, but the baby wants what it wants.

  “Hang on, I’ll be right there.” Hefting herself off the couch, she let out a little whimper as the baby settled on her bladder. “Suck it up, Lo,” she grumbled to herself. “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

  Wallet in hand, she opened the front door. “Sorry, I’m not moving so fast these . . . Holy—” Her words cut off as she stared at the fuming man in front of her.

  “I need you to tell me what you’ve been trying to say.” His eyes were filled with pained desperation that matched his broken voice. “I’m listening.”

  Nodding, she swallowed past the lump in her throat and took his hand, placing it on her belly. He let out a soft, defeated sigh before cupping her face. “It’s yours. She’s your baby.”

  A tear escaped down his cheek as he stared into her eyes. “When did you find out?”

  Removing his hand from her face, she led him into the living room and sat on the couch, motioning for him to do the same. “The day you found the book. I’d gone to the doctor that morning to get on the pill. Instead I got an ultrasound. I was already three months along.”

  “God, Lauren.” He dropped his head between his hands and tugged at his hair.

  “I tried to tell you when I found out, and again the day before I left. Then at the grocery store . . .” She stopped there, unable to get the words out.

  Soulful blue-green irises met hers. “Why would you let me think Dean was the father?”

  Anger rose in her chest. “I never said he was. You assumed I was some whore who plotted to steal your heart and have a good time with you while using you for ‘research.’ At that point, when it was clear you thought so little of me, I wasn’t eager to approach you again and be treated like dirt.”

  He winced. “I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what else to say, Lauren.”

  “I think you’ve made your position pretty clear. You can be as involved in her life as you want. I just wanted you to know the truth. You deserve that.”

  When he brushed her hair behind her shoulder, his finger rubbing over that spot on her neck he used to kiss, a shiver rippled through her.

  “I’m completely involved. One-hundred percent. Go pack your stuff. You’re coming home with me. We’ll get the spare room set up as a nursery as soon as we can.”

  “What?”

  “There’s no reason for you to be here. Come home. We should be together.”

  Her heart wanted to burst out of her chest with happiness, until she realized what was truly behind his gesture. It would be so easy. Falling back into that false reality where they were happy, in love, and nothing was cracked between them. But she’d seen the bitterness that festered in a relationship of obligation. Her parents were a prime example. She knew Alex Oliver well enough to know he’d do the right thing. He’d take responsibility, marry her, take care of them, because that was who he was down to his core.

  “No.” The word tasted like ash on her tongue.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “I can’t go with you. I’m not going to keep the baby from you, and like I said, you can be as involved as you want. But this isn’t what I want.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Her chest burned. “You only came to me because you found out about the baby. That’s clear. I can’t let you pull me back in when I know you don’t want me anymore.”

  “Lauren, come on.”

  “Look at me, Alex. Can you honestly say you’re ready to move past the book, the letters, the reason you kicked me out in the first place? I don’t think you can, and I understand that. The fact that I tried to hide anything from you says a lot about me. I looked at you and ignored how broken you were. Instead of trying to help put you back together, I threw a blanket over your pieces and pretended your issues didn’t exist because I loved the idea of being in love with you.” Fighting through the tightness in her throat, she took a harsh breath. “We dove in headfirst without checking for danger. Now there’s more than just you and me. Are you willing to risk jumping back in and ending up giving her a broken home?”

  “I . . .”

  When he couldn’t continue, she knew she’d made the right choice. Taking his hand, she squeezed. “I’ve got an appointment in two weeks. Would you like to come?”

  He took his bottom lip between his teeth and sighed before leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His hair fell into his eyes as he stared at the floor. It had grown out since the last time she’d been this close to him and her fingers itched to push the strands away from his face.

  Sitting up, he rested his palm over her stomach and finally locked eyes with her. “What time should I pick you up?”

  ~ ~ ~

  As Alex drove to the OBGYN with Lauren sitting beside him, his heart raced. Memories came rushing back of the day he and Roxie found out their baby had been a girl. Seeing her heart beating, her little legs kicking on the black and white video had made him tear up and fight for control of his overwhelming emotions. This time, when Roxie infiltrated his thoughts, he forced himself to let the memories come, let himself feel it all over again.

  “Hey, you okay?” Lauren placed her hand over his knee as they sat at a red light.

  Nodding, he locked eyes with her, feeling a rush of pure love for this strong woman. “I’m good. A little nervous.”

  A bright smile spread across her face. “Why are you nervous?”

  “I feel like, if I let myself be happy, it’s all going to disappear. You know, we thought everything was good when Roxie passed the first trimester, but fate had other plans.”

  The light went out of her eyes and her hand moved from his knee to rest protectively over their child. “Oh, Alex. I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

  “It’s fine. I’ve been thinking about what you said about you ignoring my broken pieces. I do the same thing. You’ve warned me about it before, but it hurt too much to deal with. I keep wondering if . . . maybe if I’d dealt with it earlier, just let myself feel everything and remember her . . . maybe I wouldn’t have been so angry about your book.”

  She took her bottom lip between her teeth and tore her gaze from his, focusing on the road ahead. He didn’t know what he was doing, trying to be friends with her. The tension between them made his chest tight. She might have convinced herself that they weren’t truly in love, but he knew better. He loved her more than a drowning man loved air.

  Parking the truck, he got out and raced around to help her step down. She’d already opened her door, and cast him an amused glance as he held out a hand.

  “I’m not a delicate flower, you know.”

  Chuckling, he gripped her hand. “No, but your center of gravity is off, and it’s half my fault.”

  “That is true. I’ll accept your help, then.”

  “Thank you.”

  As they walked toward the building, he couldn’t help but n
otice how she leaned in a little closer and let him keep holding her hand.

  ~ ~ ~

  Hours later, Alex stared at the grainy black and white printout he’d stuck on his refrigerator. Her profile was perfect; an upturned nose, full lips, and a small chin. The sound of her heart beating over the speaker still thrummed in his ears. As long as he lived, he’d never forget it.

  Things with Lauren had eased as the day had progressed. Their conversations had turned playful and friendly, a lot like the beginning of their friendship, after they’d stopped fighting. A knock on his door brought him back to the present and as he headed to answer, he had to push back the hope in his heart that Lauren would be standing on the other side.

  Opening the door, his posture deflated as he saw Michael with a six-pack of beer in one hand and a bag of greasy fast food in the other.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Michael smirked and snorted as he pushed past him. “Cheering you up.”

  Crossing his arms over his chest, Alex frowned. “I don’t need cheering up.”

  “Yeah, dude. You do. We all know you’re wallowing because Lauren won’t be with you.”

  “I’m fine. We’re good, actually. I took her to the doctor today, got to see the baby on the ultrasound.”

  Michael grinned. “Yeah? Isn’t that the coolest fucking thing you’ve ever seen?”

  He let it slide without reminding Michael that he’d seen it before. “It really is. She was all over the place, kicking and punching, and she had the hiccups once. She’s perfect.”

  That fear gripped him again as he said the words. Hoping to God he wouldn’t lose it all again.

  “So? I can’t believe you’re really okay with just being Lauren’s baby daddy.”

  Grabbing a beer, he popped the cap and brought the bottle to his lips. After a long swallow, he shook his head. “I’m not. But she’s right, we rushed it all. I know I’m in love with her, and even though she’s trying to convince herself that she’s not, I know she’s in love with me. That doesn’t mean it will work. I loved Roxie with everything I had and she still left me.”

  Unwrapping a burger and plopping it onto a plate, Michael walked over to the couch and made himself comfortable. “Man, I know more about impulsive relationships than I care to admit, but when it’s right, that’s it. You could be together for five years and never truly move forward because it wasn’t supposed to be. Or, you could get married in Vegas after a few months.”

  Alex cocked an eyebrow at his brother. “Yeah, I seem to remember that not working out very well for you.”

  Holding up his left hand, he flashed his gold wedding band. “Still married, still so fucking wrapped around her finger, and I think I’m more in love with her now than I ever was. There’s something about seeing the woman you love holding your kid. Even when she hasn’t showered, has spit up stains on her shoulder, and wants to kill me for getting home late.”

  Laughing, Alex joined him on the couch and turned on the television, flipping mindlessly through the channels.

  “Alex, if you don’t want to lose her, you’re going to have to go get her. Prove to her that you’re the only guy she should ever be with.”

  “And then, when she still doesn’t want me?”

  Sighing, Michael took a long drink of his beer and leaned back onto the cushions. “Then . . . at least you tried everything.”

  As he mulled over his brother’s words, his stomach clenched. Michael was right. The only thing holding him back from getting what he wanted was Lauren’s hesitance. She’d convinced herself they weren’t supposed to be together. And he’d let it happen. He’d been so wrapped up in covering his past with his love for her that he hadn’t been able to see the damage being done. But not anymore.

  Pulling out his phone, he dialed her number. Her voicemail kicked on immediately and he gritted his teeth against the disappointment.

  “Lauren, it’s Alex. We need to talk about us. About our future. I can’t just be friends with you and I think you know it. Call me when you get this.”

  Hanging up, he glanced at Michael who was staring at him wide-eyed. “Well, damn. That’s one way to handle it.”

  Chapter 28

  Lauren listened to the message from Alex over and over, willing her heart to stop fluttering every time she heard his husky voice break on the words our future. Dang it, the man was persistent and she was nearing her breaking point. As soon as she’d gotten in bed last night, she’d shut her phone off, hoping to keep herself from jumping on Google anytime a pregnancy related question popped into her head as she tried to sleep.

  She played the message again, shivering at the sound of him. Memories of him at the ultrasound flashed through her, sending bolts of warmth straight to her heart. The expression on his face when he saw the baby hiccupping yesterday. The way he gripped her hand, tightening it every time the baby moved on the screen. The softness in his eyes when he looked at her as they drove home. Maybe they could make it work. She knew what his hang-ups were and knew that, more than anything, she wanted to love him with everything in her. That niggling worm of doubt kept poking, though. How could he have fallen for her so fast after being so deeply wounded? Dean had said Alex was her rebound, but what if it was exactly the opposite and he just couldn’t see it.

  Pacing the floor in her room, she considered all the times he’d told her he loved her. The honesty on his face never gave her reason to doubt him. So why was she hesitant now?

  “Just pull it the heck together and call him,” she mumbled to herself.

  As her finger hovered over his contact information, her sister’s face flashed on the screen. All of the adrenaline running through her system came crashing down with the unexpected interruption.

  “What is it, Chas?” It was impossible to disguise the annoyance in her tone.

  Her question was met with sobbing on the other end of the line, dousing her frustration with ice water.

  “Hey, Chassity.” Worry softened Lauren’s tone. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s . . . it’s Dad. He’s in the hospital. Mother won’t tell me what’s going on, but I think it’s really bad.”

  “What? Did he have a heart attack?”

  Another sob filled her ears. “I don’t know. I just told you. Mother asked me to call you and let you know you need to come right away. She’s already booked you a ticket.”

  Dread coated her like a lead blanket. She couldn’t go home. If she went back, her mother would find out about the baby.

  “I . . . I can’t come back right now.”

  “Lauren. I think he’s dying. Why else would she say you need to come? They’re divorced for fuck’s sake. She wouldn’t want to see him unless this was going to be the last time.”

  Her head hurt as the possibility of her father dying took hold. “What time is my flight?”

  “I already emailed your itinerary. I can have a car pick you up and bring you straight to the hospital.”

  Heart in her throat, she fought off tears of panic as she said goodbye to her sister and opened her email. Her flight was in two hours, and the return date was open ended. She needed to leave right now if she had any hope of making her flight. Grabbing her suitcase, she began haphazardly throwing in anything and everything she thought she would possibly need. She could call Alex from the airport, or at the very worst, from her mother’s house.

  As she pulled her bag to her car and hefted it into the trunk, she realized Dean would have no clue what had become of her. Running back inside, she scribbled a quick note.

  Dean,

  I had to go home to Michigan. I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye. Thanks for everything. Talk soon.

  Lo

  It was short, to the point, and not very pretty, but with five minutes until she absolutely had to get o
n the road, it was all she could do. She’d call with a better explanation tomorrow. Pulling the car door open, she tried to type a short text to Alex, but her phone slipped out of her hand. The delicate piece of technology bounced on the asphalt with an ominous crack before landing in a puddle. Her heart sank as she retrieved it and stared at the shattered screen.

  “Please don’t be dead.”

  Hitting the Home button, she winced as the phone lit up once, then went black and unresponsive. She didn’t have time for this. Shoving the device into her purse, she started the car, willing herself to calm down. She could get a new phone. She had insurance on this one. It wasn’t the end of the world.

  As she drove, her worry turned to anxiety, clawing at her chest. She needed Alex. She didn’t want to see her mother, to deal with her jabs and passive aggressive comments. After parking and going through the ridiculously long security line, she finally made it to her gate as people were boarding. She didn’t feel right about leaving without calling Alex. Searching the terminal for a payphone, she glanced frantically at the jet way as passengers boarded.

  “Miss? If you’re on this flight, we need you to board.” A flight attendant put a gentle hand on her shoulder, calling her attention to the empty terminal.

  “I . . . I just need to make a call.”

  “I’m sorry. You’ll have to wait until you arrive at your destination.”

  Sighing, she nodded and pulled her boarding pass out of her purse. An uncomfortable weight settled on her shoulders as she thought of Alex, waiting for a call from her and not getting one. The flight itself was short, but adding on the time it would take to get her phone taken care of, she knew he’d be worried.

  Trying to relax, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, willing the flight to go by without delay and desperate to put all of this behind her. She dreamed of warm lips on hers, pained, swirling blue-green eyes, and Alex’s hushed whispers against her skin.