Close to Home

by Liz Lee

  Okay, great sex, but still, it wasn’t enough.

  So when she’d awoken with a plan, everything seemed crystal clear. She’d treat him like a brother. All the conflicting emotions would disappear.

  After the catastrophe of her last plan, she should've known better. Brotherly love was the last thing she felt for her husband. The urgency, the desire to possess Donovan, to let him possess her left her confused and terrified and excited and thrilled.

  She rubbed her hands over her butter-covered arms in an attempt to wipe away the chill bumps that lingered from the way he’d held her, from the way he’d stared at her, so deep he’d glimpsed her soul.

  Lord help her if he did. She’d never convince him they needed to be friends first. Of course, she’d ruined that three months before.

  Dammit, she’d screwed this all up.

  She stopped running and bent over trying to catch her breath. Running in bare feet was a killer.

  As Donovan approached, Kacie Jo knew running time was over.

  “You look pretty silly standing there covered in butter. Pretty smelly, too.”

  She turned her head so she could see him. “Yeah, you’re one to talk.” She’d definitely hit her mark. Even though he’d wiped the garlic spread away, the side of his face glistened from the oil.

  “Afraid something might get you?”

  Not at all. “Someone,” she answered.

  He laughed and she straightened back up. When he reached her, her breathing had returned to normal. She had to say something. “Sorry about that. I just…”

  He stopped her. “Don’t apologize. It was fun. You laughed. I laughed. We had a good time in spite of the Great Tomato Fiasco.”

  She closed her eyes and let his voice cascade over her. He caressed her chin, tilted her head up to face him. “Open your eyes, Kacie Jo.”

  She did as he asked, and he continued. “I’m glad you trusted me enough back there to do that. To just have fun.”

  How could she respond? Yes, she trusted him, but she had to run away from herself, from her own desire to tear his clothes off.

  So where did this go now? The answer chipped away at her defenses.

  “I trust you implicitly, Donovan.”

  She saw her words hit him, saw how much they meant. She’d said the right thing when he lifted her in his arms again and started toward the cabin.

  “What are you doing?” She rested her head on his garlic-scented shoulder as she asked the question.

  “I promised you dessert, Mrs. Nelson. And when a man makes a promise, he has to keep it.”

  She giggled, completely at ease in his arms for the first time maybe ever. “Oh good. I love dessert.”

  “You just keep that in mind. And remember I still owe you.”

  His words brought out her laughter once again, and when he carried her over the threshold this time, it felt normal, not a bit scary. She didn’t know where her fear had gone, but it had completely vanished.

  He set her on her feet once they reached the kitchen.

  “So what’s this great dessert?” She asked expecting him to tell her she had to wait.

  Instead, he pointed to the counter. And there it was. She didn’t need to hear his words to know what he’d made.

  “I believe you called this Better Than Sex cake. Let’s eat it and see.”

  Their days away from reality passed in a haze after that. Her trust and Donovan’s unspoken promise to let their relationship move forward at the pace she set left Kacie Jo liberated.

  On their walks around the lake, she learned things she’d never known about him. He loved books, even kept a tattered copy of Heart of Darkness in his duffle bag. He still wrote letters to the grade school pen pals who wrote to him, even though most of them communicated electronically. An intern from the network updated his Facebook page and twitter accounts. He liked old fashioned Brach’s Butterscotch candies, and he loved to cook.

  If she asked a question, Donovan answered candidly. Because of their agreement she steered clear of his work. Still, every time she thought about B’en Ai, Kacie Jo felt a chill to her soul. Something still lurked in the shadows of his memories. Something she hoped she could erase.

  Their time alone together was dwindling. They’d return to life and all its real problems in the next two days, but for now they had this escape to dream land.

  On their final night, they were walking next to the lake, barefoot, hand in hand, laughing as a neighbor’s puppy played tag with the crashing waves. The air hung heavy with heat and humidity, and she could smell the sweet spice of nearby rain.

  Green and black clouds tumbled overhead warning that they needed to get back to the cabin before the nasty summer storm started, but she couldn’t force herself to turn in that direction.

  Instead, she followed beside Donovan as he knelt on the beach and grabbed a stick. His hair blew away from his face and he looked similar to the young man he’d been before he left Caldale supposedly for good. Other than the slightly worried look in his eyes, he seemed like a man without a care in the world, and Kacie Jo was thankful she’d at least given him that, if only for a few days.

  He used the branch to write letters in the dry sand. When he finished, he smiled up at her expectantly, waiting to see her reaction.

  She read the words he’d written with a combination of shock and happiness. Silly considering she’d written them herself so often as a young teenager.

  But when she’d written the words, she’d never dreamed she’d see them in his writing on a beach near her lake house.

  Donovan Nelson + Kacie Jo Jenkins = Forever.

  Grade school silliness, but the warmth the words created threatened to envelope her. Forever. She wished she could bottle the rightness of the moment and take it back home. For all their problems, for all the strangeness of their relationship journey, this moment proved they had staying power. She laughed and tugged him to his feet when the first sprinkles of the approaching storm started.

  When the thunder rumbled, he jumped, then looked up at the sky shocked. That warmed her heart more than anything else. He’d been so caught up in the moment he hadn’t noticed the storm. Time to head back. “We better run.”

  He looked at the sky again. “Since when are you afraid of a little rain?”

  She shook her head. “Not rain. But I don’t figure we need to be by the beach when the lightning gets closer.” As if to emphasize her words, thunder rumbled low again and again he jumped, but this time he laughed, too.

  After that he let her lead him back to the cabin. By the time they returned, they were both soaked. The sprinkles had become a downpour, the thunder crashed overhead and he practically threw her in the house once they got there.

  After they slammed the door, Donovan tugged his shirt over his head. “You better get out of those wet clothes. Can’t have you getting sick the week after our honeymoon.”

  Kacie Jo heard his words, even agreed with him, but she refused to move. No way was she missing the sight of his bare chest, his muscles rippling, the slight dark hair on his stomach narrowing as it descended beyond sight.

  So she stood in the middle of the lake house den, water dripping from her hair in rivulets down her face and plopping in drops onto the floor, and watched him strip. Nothing was going to make her budge. Not the thunder, not the dripping water, not even the man himself who seemed to move faster as the storm outside grew louder.

  When he finally realized she was still standing there watching him, his eyes met hers, and her mouth went dry. He dropped his sopping wet shirt to the floor with a thunk and time slowed. His wet hair fell across the tops of his shoulders and his biceps flexed as he stood perfectly still, meeting her gaze with fire in his eyes that stole every bit of breath from her body.

  For the first time in her life, Kacie Jo truly understood what people meant when they said a look could burn.

  His ice blue eyes practically singed every inch of exposed skin on her. She couldn’t stop herself from movi
ng to him. But her first step broke the spell, and he pointed behind her toward the door to her room. The room she’d spent the week alone in fantasizing about him and them and what they could be doing.

  “Better get changed quick. The temperature dropped about fifteen degrees, and if you stand there much longer, you’re going to end up sick.”

  So much for the fantasy. Kacie Jo swallowed the hurt his words caused. There was no way he’d misinterpreted her signals. No way he’d missed the longing on her face. In those moments when he’d met her gaze, when he’d stood so still, he’d felt the same pull.

  Rejected, she turned and walked to the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click. He’d wanted her earlier, and she’d been the one to suggest they wait. What better time than now to finally give in to the urges they’d both been feeling?

  The storm raged outside her window. Her emotions were every bit as storm-tossed as the Mesquite trees that bent to the ground under the wind’s pressure.

  She stepped out of her running shorts and shirt, shook them out and hung them on the back of the closet door so they wouldn’t sour.

  For the last week, Donovan had been the perfect gentleman. He’d answered her questions, held her hand, walked her to her bedroom door and kissed her goodnight.

  While the kisses hadn’t been chaste pecks on the lips, they hadn’t been the kind that begged for sex either. He’d treated her with so much respect and gentleness, she’d had to warn him more than once that even though she was pregnant, fragile couldn’t begin to describe her.

  And every night he talked to the baby. Once they’d been playing Scrabble and he’d stopped mid-game to tell the baby he couldn’t wait to see what family game night would be like. Another time they’d been cooking macaroni and cheese and he’d stopped to tell the baby that under no circumstances was he allowed to eat macaroni and cheese every day for lunch.

  When he talked to the baby, he chipped away at her reservations. And he knew it.

  Every night he rubbed her back and feet. At first she’d been afraid to let him touch her, but he promised back and feet only and she’d given in to the pleasure. Every night she was sorely tempted to give in to more, to ask him to take her to his bed, and every night she found some hidden reserve she hadn’t known existed.

  Now when she finally caved, when it was time, he’d been the one to send her away.

  She’d never wanted anything this bad in her life. The desire was so real, she could close her eyes and feel his presence.

  She kicked off the rest of her clothes and crossed to their shared bathroom. This room had caused her nights of ultimate frustration. Every time she finally had her body under control, she heard him rummaging around in here, and she envisioned him naked, showering, shaving, doing whatever.

  She’d been pretty certain he was doing it on purpose, sending her little reminders about what she was missing. And it had worked, all right.

  Now when she was ready, he’d pointed to the room and told her to change so she didn’t get sick? Right.

  She reached inside the shower and turned the water to the hottest temperature she could stand. The rain had chilled her straight through, and if she wasn’t going to be warming up with Donovan, she might as well enjoy a good dose of steam and hot water.

  As she stepped in the shower, she closed her eyes and made a promise. When she got out of this shower, after she’d warmed and washed up, she was going to march into the den bare naked if necessary. And her husband was going to make love to her whether he thought it was time or not.

  The shower started and Donovan tried not to picture Kacie Jo naked, water streaming down her body, soap suds covering her hair.

  But dammit, the smoldering look she’d sent him ruined all his good intentions. That look had screamed sex. And when she’d taken that first step toward him, he’d practically fallen over with wanting her.

  But making love wet and chilled from getting caught out in the storm couldn’t be a good thing. Not for her and not for their baby.

  Especially not when he couldn’t get past the jitters from the rolls of thunder and flashes of lightning. He closed his eyes, envisioned a naked Kacie Jo.

  Here and now. He needed to stay focused on those words and not the simmering nerves that thrummed rat-a-tat just under his skin with every crash of thunder.

  He’d worked the entire week to build to this night with Kacie Jo. He’d touched her every chance he’d gotten, held her when she let him. All the while knowing that when tonight arrived, they were making love.

  They couldn’t leave this magical place without taking that step to legitimizing their union. A thunderstorm wasn’t going to get in his way.

  He had a plan, dammit. And he was determined to follow it through.

  Candle light dinner, sparkling grape juice and champagne glasses, soft music. The works.

  He sat on his bed and rummaged around in the drawer for a new shirt at the same time he heard the water to the shower stop. Then another flash of lightning nearly sent him back to explosions and screams and diesel fuel and static on radios and the beating rotors of helicopters filled with soldiers willing to risk their lives.

  Kacie Jo. Naked. Bathroom. He envisioned her behind that door, there for the taking. The tremors stopped, proving once again that she was the key to his salvation.

  With a sigh of relief he stood at the same time the bathroom door opened.

  Once Kacie Jo made her decision, she had to act on it immediately. If she thought about it too much, she’d chicken out. After all, Donovan hadn’t seen her body in months. And even though the baby wasn’t obvious as long as she was dressed, naked, her body definitely looked different.

  But the awe on Donovan’s face followed by the way his shirt fell to the floor told her she’d done the right thing.

  Trying not to let him see how nervous she was, she moved forward, a goddess strolling out of the steam from the bathroom. “You know, Donovan, I was thinking.”

  She loved the playful quality in her voice, loved the way he responded to it. He’d given her this self-awareness, this belief in her beauty.

  When she placed her hands on his bare shoulders, he leaned his head back. “I like the way you think, Kacie Jo.”

  He turned his head and barely caressed one of her breasts with his lips. His soft skin burned cold on her hot skin and the touch reverberated clear to her toenails.

  His pulse raced under her fingertips and she reveled in the knowledge that she was responsible for that change in heartbeat.

  When she pushed his shoulders back, he grabbed her arms and pulled her down beside him. And then finally his hands touched her. And this time, they weren’t going to stop with a simple back massage.

  She lay beside him and let the moment stretch before finally continuing. “I want you, Donovan. I want you to make love to me. I want to share your bed and your life.”

  It felt so strange to say those words lying next to him, naked on the bed he’d slept alone in for the last week. But she had to say them, had to tell him she was ready.

  “I planned on seducing you.” His voice rasped with need.

  “You did this whole week,” she said.

  He ran his finger down her cheek almost worshipfully then took her index finger in his mouth.

  Oh God, that felt so good. When he slipped the finger out of his mouth and moved to her palm, her groan echoed in the room.

  After a few seconds, he continued. “I don’t think so. I think it’s the other way around. You’ve been seducing me from the minute you walked in that apartment all those months ago. And I’m not a bit sorry.”

  She wasn’t either. And she wasn’t sorry he’d taken over in this little experiment of hers. She’d have plenty of time to be in charge.

  For now she wanted to relax and let him teach her what he liked, what she liked.

  He didn’t disappoint. When his fingers traced the blue veins that had popped out on her breasts almost overnight, she thought she might explode from
need.

  She let her head fall back and again he teased her, using his fingers to bring her nipples to dark points and then blowing on them, sending a sensation through her body that nearly lifted her off the bed.

  He laughed at her response. “You like that, hmm? We’ll have to remember that for later.”

  His hands lingered over her bare stomach. It was the first time he’d touched the bare skin of her belly since the night they’d made this baby, and Kacie Jo felt the almost sacredness of the moment. When he followed his hands with his lips, a jolt of pure pleasure ran through her body coupled with something more, something lasting.

  “We’ve made a miracle, Kacie Jo. Thank you for letting me be part of this.” His eyes met hers as he spoke the words almost reverently and she nodded because she didn’t trust herself to speak.

  Slowly, he trailed his fingers lower, slipping a finger into her wetness, and she gasped. She hadn’t even realized she missed this, hadn’t realized the force of her desire.

  Again, he slipped his finger inside her, mimicking the motions of love making, creating such intensity, Kacie Jo knew she’d die if he didn’t release the tension building inside her.

  She lifted her hips against his hand, whimpered in demand, met his resistance. She tried to force her eyes to open, to insist he finish undressing and take her right this instant before she died from frustration, but she couldn’t make her words work, couldn’t make her body obey.

  And then, suddenly, his lips replaced his hands and she did cry out as he slowly took her to that peak she craved. One touch of his tongue and she fell the rest of the way over.

  When she could finally open her eyes, could finally speak, she did. Somehow everything was brighter. The storm was over and sunlight filtered in through the window blinds. “Thank you.”

  He was lying beside her, hands behind his neck, and he turned to her and kissed her cheek. “No, thank you.”

  She laughed. “I haven’t even done anything yet. But don’t worry, I have plans. Big plans.”