Ninety-Eight (Contemporary Romance)

by Shannon Mayer

  “Oh, shit.” He gathered me into his arms, held me tight against his chest as I sobbed. My ear was pressed against him, and I found myself listening for his heartbeat. Would I recognize it? Would I have known it was a piece of Darwin, if Fiona hadn’t told me?

  Micah didn’t loosen his grip on me, his fingers tangled up and into my hair so he could hold my head while he looked into my eyes. “I came here looking for something, and when I got here I thought it was Fiona, I thought it was the little guy. I thought … they were the reason I’d been drawn to this place. But from the second I laid eyes on you, it was as if the world spun out from under me. I knew you were the reason, you were why I had to come here. This last week, I’ve never been happier, never felt more alive.”

  Still hiccupping back tears, I couldn’t take my eyes from his, couldn’t hardly breathe with the wanting inside my heart. What was left of it shook and trembled with the possibility in front of me.

  His eyes searched mine, and again I was struck with some deeper level of knowing him. “Brielle, I—”

  I closed my eyes, his words coursing through me. I couldn’t do this, couldn’t barely think straight. “I have to go.” I pulled away from him, turned away from him, and didn’t look back.

  16

  I FOUND MYSELF AT the vet clinic, the last place where I would have any chance of someone taking pity on me. Of course, it didn’t hurt that when I got there, it was only Dr. Winston in the office.

  “What the hell, girl? I didn’t hold your job open after you took off.” He grumbled, but I saw the sparkle in his eyes.

  “Good to see you too, Dr. Winston. I don’t suppose you could let me stay in the caretaker’s room tonight? I’ll look after any of the animals that need care, no charge.”

  He eyed me up and down. “You’re filthy.”

  “I was working with your nephew today.”

  “Micah?”

  I tried to smile, I did, but my heart wasn’t in it. “That would be the one, unless you have another nephew who trains horses?”

  With a grunt, he turned on his heel and opened up the clinic. “Anything breaks or goes missing, I’ll sue your parents.”

  “Not me?”

  “You ain’t got no money. Blast it all to hell.” He stood there bouncing his keys in his hands. “I could use a hand tomorrow. If you remember how to do your job.”

  I wasn’t sure I could work with Micah after this, and I needed the money.

  “Why are you so nice to me?” I blurted out, again, blaming my lack of filter on the shocks that had flattened me.

  Dr. Winston drew himself up. “Would you rather I was an asshole?”

  Micah’s words about his uncle came back to me. “No, not really.”

  “Then what does it matter if when I see a lovely young lady struggling in her life, with parents who don’t give a shit, and I want to help her? Maybe she reminds me of someone I used to know. Someone with eyes the same shade of blue as yours.”

  Before I could say anything to that, he turned away.

  “No animals in the clinic tonight, but I’m starting early tomorrow, be ready.”

  The door clicked closed behind him, and I flicked on the lights. The clinic hadn’t changed much, but no one had cleaned up at the end of the day as they were supposed to. Even though exhaustion dragged at me, and I was emotionally wrung out, I knew that the second I laid down on the cot in the small caretakers room, my mind wouldn’t let me sleep.

  So I cleaned the clinic, wiped down counters and drawers, put surgical equipment in the autoclave for sterilization, took out the trash, swept the floors, re-filled the needles and swabs in the examination rooms.

  But the work didn’t take my mind away; it just kept my hands busy.

  Micah had Darwin’s heart. Fiona had Darwin’s son. Fiona had wanted Micah, and he’d turned her down. That alone should have eased my heart, yet it didn’t.

  Tears slid down my nose and plopped onto the floor as I mopped, adding their small amount to the moisture.

  “What a fucking mess,” I muttered, sniffing back the tears. There would be no going back for me; I couldn’t face Fiona again, not after running off like that. So what did I do now? I couldn’t live at the clinic, I wasn’t sure that I even wanted to live in Lexington. The city, as big as it was, would always be too small.

  Did I love Micah? No, it was too soon for that.

  But the last week tied my heart into knots, showed me a man who was a balm to my soul, someone who made me laugh and soothed away the past for a little while. Made me believe I could love again.

  He had a piece of Darwin, the best part of Darwin. And I couldn’t deny that knowing Micah had Darwin’s heart made him even more intriguing than he had been before. Before I knew. To have even that small connection to Darwin, so close, to have Micah say that I was the one he’d come back for. That both excited and terrified me. Did I want him because he was Micah, or did I want him because he had Darwin’s heart? Or could it be both?

  Sometime after midnight, I was finally tired enough to sleep. The small cot and sparse army green blanket were more comfortable than most of the beds I’d slept in in the hostels around Europe, and I nodded off in seconds.

  Darwin walked toward me, in my dream. Under the sycamore tree we met, his eyes pleading with me, his face shadowed with pain.

  “Fight for me, Brielle.”

  “For you, I would fight till my last breath,” I whispered. “Micah isn’t you.”

  Darwin smiled, his dimple calling out to me, and I reached for him.

  “No, Micah isn’t me. Fight for me. Please.”

  I sat up in the cot, sweat and tears streaking my face and pooling into the hollow of my throat. I stared into the darkness, my breath coming in short, shallow gasps while I slowly calmed. Did the dreams mean anything? Or was my head trying to make sense of something that couldn’t be made sense of?

  The restful sleep I craved, and so needed, eluded me. I woke up several times, confused by my surroundings, uncertain of whether I was in Europe or in Lexington. I sat up more than once, staring blankly around me, my heart pounding.

  “Darwin.” I whispered his name, and thought I heard him whisper back to me. My foggy thoughts faded and I lay back down, tears trickling from my eyes, the words I’d screamed at him, at Micah, coming back to me. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t really angry at you. I’m just … it’s all just so unfair.”

  Sniffling back the tears, I bit down on the words. My voice echoed in the clinic and I didn’t like the way it sounded.

  Weak and pitiful. Lonely and afraid.

  No, that was the old Brielle. The Brielle who’d been too scared to follow her heart, too scared and it had cost her the love of her life.

  Closing my eyes, I came to a decision. I knew what I had to do, and the moment I made the decision, peace slid over me.

  There would be no more tears, no more whining about fair or unfair.

  I would face this new challenge—and Micah—head on. I wouldn’t make the same mistake I’d made with Darwin.

  By morning, my confidence had wavered. Dr. Winston found me awake and waiting for him when he got to the clinic at seven. “What the hell, girl, did you sleep at all last night?” He peered around the clinic, inspecting my late night cleaning job, running his fingers along the counter top.

  “Yes, of course. I’m young; I can live on fifteen minutes and a thermos of coffee for weeks. Unlike someone of your age, who I’m guessing needs at least a half an hour of sleep?” I pulled the schedule off the counter, waved at the receptionist, Darlene, as she stepped into the clinic and I stepped out.

  “Well, maybe you can stay another night. Unless you have somewhere else to go?” Dr. Winston grumbled, walking with a bit of a limp toward the truck.

  “I would appreciate that. Did you get hurt?”

  “Horse booted me in the leg yesterday; stiffened up over night. Red-headed bitch of a mare.” He continued to grumble and I couldn’t help but feel like at least in this,
I fit. Not as well as working with Micah, but close. Though I had to admit I was curious about Dr. Winston’s past; his reference to my eyes hadn’t been lost on me, but I wouldn’t pry. I had enough troubles of my own when it came to matters of the heart.

  The day with Dr. Winston went as smoothly as if I’d never left, as if the last eighteen months hadn’t happened. Clients grumped about his crotchety behavior, horses were helped, and I was able to keep my hands and my mind busy.

  By the end of the day, I was done in, exhausted, but feeling better than I had in a long time. No matter what, working with the horses—and with Dr. Winston—had reminded me that I did love my job; more than just working with horses, I loved to help them. To take a small part in healing them.

  “You sticking around here this time?” Dr. Winston barked at me as we pulled into the clinic’s parking lot.

  I wanted to say yes. But when the silver Dodge pulled in beside us, I suddenly wanted to scream no. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”

  He gave a grunt, glaring past me at his nephew stepping out of his truck, seemingly forgetting that he’d asked me a question at all. “What the hell is that boy doing here?”

  There was no point in me answering him. I mean, why would I know what Micah was doing here? Surely it wasn’t for me; he didn’t know I’d stayed at the clinic.

  But when he turned those aquamarine eyes my way, I wasn’t so sure he hadn’t come looking for me. Which was bad, since I’d been wavering all day on how I felt about him. I couldn’t escape his gaze, found myself handing him another small piece of my heart as his eyes softened, his lips curled up in a gentle smile. What would I say to him? Tell him I didn’t want to see him ever again? That would be a total and complete lie.

  I shouldn’t have worried about it.

  Dr. Winston limped around the truck, all but frothing at the mouth. “What the hell do you want, you little bastard? Here to cause more problems?”

  Stepping down out of the truck, I froze, staring at Micah and watching his reaction. His eyes left mine, narrowing as he stared down at his uncle. The muscles in his arms and neck flexed with what I suspected was more than just mild irritation.

  “Fiona asked me to invite you to dinner tonight, she’s having a party.”

  “I wouldn’t eat with you if it was the fucking last day of my life.”

  Micah put his hands on his hips. “One could only hope it’s today then. I told her I would ask, and that you would come, seeing as she is your favorite client.”

  Dr. Winston spluttered and shook, his face going red. “I’m not eating with you.”

  Holy crap, and I thought my family was dysfunctional. “Dr. Winston—”

  “Don’t you start on me. Just because he’s family, doesn’t require me to be nice to him, nor does it require us to get along.”

  I dared a quick look at Micah, who stood there, hands on his hips. Every inch of him radiated his displeasure at being here, talking to his uncle.

  “Uncle Bruce. Get in the damn truck.” Micah pointed to his truck, as if that would magically make his uncle move. And damn it all if it didn’t work. Kind of.

  Dr. Winston stood there, breathing hard as he glared at his nephew, finally heading toward the truck. “If I have to suffer through it, then so do you.” He grabbed my arm as he walked by me, literally dragging me with him.

  “Wait, I’m not family and this is obviously a family issue, and besides, Fiona didn’t invite me to her party.” I dug my heels in, but Dr. Winston treated me as if I were a stubborn horse, pulling me along behind him. Panic flared in my gut. As much as I’d wanted to believe I could face Micah head on the night before, now that I was presented with the opportunity to prove it to myself, I didn’t want to. Not for a second. Everything he represented scared me.

  “You might as well be family,” Dr. Winston grumbled, pushing me ahead of him. “What with you and Darwin being like siblings and all. Which means you can suffer through this meal too.”

  The breath hitched in my throat and horror slid through me. “But we weren’t, and I don’t think—”

  “I think it’s a good idea. You seem to have a calming influence on my uncle. He’s only used ‘fuck’ once and I’ve been here a good five minutes,” Micah said, as he jumped into the truck, a smile twitching across his lips as he gave me a wink, as if there had been no explosion last night. I slid into the back seat, teeth dragging at my bottom lip, the heat pooling in my belly having nothing to do with weather outside, nor the worry about the meal.

  One look from Micah, just one, and my heart decided that maybe this time around things would be different. Maybe this time around Fiona wouldn’t get to keep Darwin’s heart … that I would have a chance at stealing it away.

  Fight for me.

  Leaning my head back, I did my best not to think about why I’d let myself be pushed into this dinner.

  Because there was more than a small part of me that wanted to be around Micah, to get to know him better now that I knew he had Darwin’s heart. The mannerisms he carried, the ones that stole my breath in the remembrance of Darwin, I wondered if that was the only reason I was drawn to him. If that was the case, this dinner would help. The time with him would show me that Micah wasn’t any better of a match for me than someone like Victor, or any of the men I’d dated. There was a good chance that Micah was a meager 50% kind of guy. There was no way he could be 98% like Darwin.

  But isn’t that what you were looking for?

  Lies, all lies. I couldn’t lie to myself. The week with Micah, working with him had done me in, tangled my heart up in his eyes and his smile, and the good man I could see he was.

  The drive to the Upshaw’s farm was, to say the least, uncomfortable. Silence between the two men was one thing, but worse than that was the animosity that hummed on the air between them. Though it was comical when a conversation started how it resembled the fight between two kids on the playground, instead of two grown men.

  “Brielle, are you going to be working full time with my uncle?” Micah asked

  Dr. Winston snorted. “Brielle, you don’t have to answer him. It’s none of his business where you damn well work.”

  Micah’s jaw clenched. “He’s right, you don’t have to answer me. But I could use a hand with some of the horses I’m working with—and we did originally agree to a month. I also just found out my regular helper at the Upshaws’ is pregnant and will be out of commission for a bit.”

  Of course, what was I thinking? Fiona would want a child from James too. “Fiona’s pregnant?” I blurted out.

  A barking laugh escaped Dr. Winston. “God, what a mess that would be. She can barely care for the kid she’s got. Never mind what a piss poor assistant she would be, scaring the shit out of the horses.”

  “Can you at least pretend to be nice, the woman is my boss for the foreseeable future,” Micah snapped, taking the next corner hard. He glanced at me in the rearview mirror, his eyes intense, making me squirm in my seat. “No, Fiona isn’t pregnant, not that it is any of my business.”

  Disappointment coursed through me. At least if she was pregnant with James’ baby, she would be less inclined to look at Micah. And after the way her eyes had followed him around the other night, I had no doubt she’d trade James for Micah in an instant. The romanticism of Micah having Darwin’s heart would draw her to him, and the proprietary way she’d watched him only confirmed that for me.

  If past experience had told me anything, it was that regardless of what Dr. Winston thought, Fiona would have what she wanted, no matter what was best for others.

  I wanted to hate her for her spoiled, selfish ways. For tricking Darwin into marrying her. But I also knew that the chances of me ever meeting Darwin if he hadn’t been married to her would have been zero. So I couldn’t hate her, couldn’t fault her for loving him. I knew better than anyone else how special he was. And in a round about way, she’d brought him into my life.

  Pulling into the driveway, my gut tightened. I’d made a
fool of myself the other night, and wasn’t really looking forward to seeing Fiona again.

  Or looking into little Darwin’s eyes and seeing his father so clearly.

  I could do this.

  I could fight for him.

  17

  FIONA SMILED AND waved when she saw me, but there wasn’t the same fire in her as before Darwin’s death. Like his life being snuffed out had changed her as much as it had changed me. That kinship between us was the same. We’d loved the same man, and his life and death had shaped us into the people we were now.

  I didn’t like thinking about Fiona that way. I wanted to hate her, but I just couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.

  “Hi, Fiona. I’m sorry I ran off last night, it was just such a surprise. I’m going to blame it on the pure shock of the story.” I gave her a quick hug, and she nodded and hugged me back, and again, I was struck with how much she’d changed. Motherhood had matured her.

  “I understand, I do. There are days it still seems strange to me, and I’ve been around Micah for almost a year now.” Squeezing my hand, she led the way into the house, but there were no sounds of feet, no small voice calling for his mama. Fiona saw me looking around. “He’s in bed; he has a bit of the sniffles.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t have time to say much other than that, as Micah and Dr. Winston stomped in behind us, the two men still not looking at one another. Fiona crossed her arms.

  “Really? This has been going on long enough. Bruce, Micah, you two need to get this out of your system. The past is done; let it go. Please. You are both like family to me and I just hate to see the two of you fighting.”

  My lips twitched; maybe dinner wouldn’t be so bad after all. Micah shrugged, but before he could answer her, James strolled in from the deck, a bottle of beer in his hand.

  “Micah, Bruce, and who is this you two brought with you? Micah, you didn’t tell us you had a new lady friend.” James gave me a big wink and Fiona sucked in a sharp breath of air, her eyes darting to mine and settling into a wicked glare.

  “Oh, I just worked for Micah for a few days.”