Still Breathing

by Rita Michaels

  “Are they all your family?” Bri asked.

  “Yes. There are more of us. Say hello to my mom, Mom meet my new friends, Bri and Alice. His mom beamed with smiles. Bri guessed her age to be in the mid-fifties. She didn't say much. Bri was happy with that. Less talk, fewer questions.

  Although she felt Ethan might've said something to ease her journey. But they did throw curious glances at her, especially.

  “You'll be seating next to me. I did that to help you with your fear of flying.”

  “Oh, thank you, but you shouldn’t have gone through all the stress of buying me a ticket. I wanted to buy it myself only….”

  “I know you can afford a nine-hundred-dollar ticket, but I just wanted to show appreciation and take the stress off of you.”

  “Thanks, again,” Bri said without arguing further.

  Alice turned to her and winked. Then she edged towards her.

  “Even Steven Wonder could see he's in love with you. Not everyone would spend almost a thousand dollars on a lady he barely knew,” Alice said.

  “I plan on repaying him back,” Bri whispered.

  “What!”

  “After the wedding and we're safely back home if I don't fall off the sky.”

  “O my God, Bri. It's a gift.”

  “One I shouldn’t accept because then I'll have to do him a favor and repay that gift sooner or later.” Alice rolled her eyes.

  “Oh, please.”

  “If you don't want to date a guy, then don't accept his gifts or his money,” Bri said.

  Alice sighed. “You and your policies.”

  “Those are snares; gifts and money favor.” Bri turned and noticed they had started going aboard the plan. Her heart skipped. “It's time,” she said to Alice who hadn't noticed. Ethan ran towards them.

  “You want me to hold your hand?” he said. Bri looked at him, her lips curled.

  “No. Thanks. I can walk steadily.” She turned to Alice who smiled.

  Bri's seat was by the aisle, just the way Ethan planned it, and how she wanted it. When the plane taxied to the runway, Bri gripped her seat, but when the plane lifted, she grabbed Ethan's trousers and squeezed hard. Ethan placed his hand over hers, probably to prevent her from ripping his skin off.

  Her ears popped. She raised her hand to dip her index finger into her ear to ease the pain and realized it was resting on his thigh and his hand over hers. She yanked it off.

  “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to….”

  “It's okay. I expected it,” he said, smiling. He leaned forward and reached for a magazine. Bri turned around searching for Alice. She was nowhere in sight. She leaned back in her seat for a minute and then turned to look at him. He seemed engrossed in his magazine. She looked away.

  “Getting bored?” he said in his calm, gentle voice.

  “Not really.”

  “It's just a little over an hour journey. We'll get there in no time.”

  “I'm usually nervous when going someplace for the first time,” she said, sincere.

  “Me, too. Only this isn't my first time.” He gazed at her. She gazed deep into his eyes for the first time and noticed he had blue eyes. She looked away, liking what she saw. And then, this sad feeling enveloped her. She heard him clear his throat. She picked up the magazine he had read and put away.

  “How come you don't have a boyfriend?”

  “Huh?”

  “Why are you single?” he rephrased.

  “Umm, because I love freedom.”

  He chuckled. “freedom?”

  “Yes. I like being me. I like being spontaneous without anyone holding me down from flying.”

  “And has any man ever given you reasons not to 'fly'?”

  Bri smiled without a word. She flipped through the magazine reading nothing in particular. Ethan kept watching, a smile spread across his face. Bri could sense his eyes boring a hole into her. She turned abruptly toward him just to catch him. He didn't flinch. She closed the magazine back.

  “Why are you single?” she asked.

  “Because I hadn't found the one, but,” he added quickly, “my status changed since the last time we met.”

  “Oh, then congratulations,” Bri said, disappointed. He hadn't given her a clue that he was dating someone else the few times they spoke on the phone after the beach encounter.

  “Thanks,” he said, watching her with interest.

  She said nothing further. She'd thought about it and wanted to ask why she, and not his girlfriend, sat beside him on the plane but felt it unnecessary as she already knew the answer. He was being kind and a gentleman. That was her kind of man. Those were traits Hunter didn't possess.

  Suddenly, she wished she were the one that stole his heart, and wondered how she could yearn for something that would never be hers.

  The waitress, a blond, petite, charming lady came by offering snacks from a cart, Ethan requested for what he wanted, but Bri declined, saying she wasn't hungry when Ethan asked. She wished Alice was sitting next to her, not Ethan.

  She craned her neck, searching for Alice and then relaxed back in her seat.

  “Getting tired of me already?”

  She turned to him. “No. just searching for my friend.”

  “I’m sure she’s alright and having more fun than you are.” He said. Bri shrugged. “You look... sad.”

  “I’m not,” Bri said, and then looked away. He’s digging for something she thought.

  “You don’t have to worry about anything. I promise to take care of you….”

  She turned to him.

  “On the Island,” he said, completing his sentence.

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “I know you can, but I can protect you.”

  “Is there something you’re not telling me?” she said, a little bit alarmed but concealing it.

  “No. Not at all. I meant I would make sure nothing you don’t want doesn’t happen to you.”

  “Like what?” she said.

  “Anything.”

  “Now why would you do that when your girlfriend would be around and jealous?”

  He smiled.

  “I’ll make sure I don’t give her a reason to be jealous. I haven’t given her any so far.”

  Bri’s heart fell. She rose.

  “I need to use the restroom.”

  “Do you want me to….”

  “I can find it myself. Am not so daft, am I?” she said before walking away.” He gaped at her and then threw a quick glance at the couple behind them. They were asleep. A couple minutes later Bri resurfaced. She took out her makeup and began reapplying every missing bit.

  “I’m sorry, but did I say something wrong?” He asked, concerned.

  “No. It’s me being me.”

  He raised his hand and touched her face. Her heart fluttered. Tears welled up quickly than she wanted it to.

  “You are crying.”

  “Obviously for the wrong reason. Just take it that am weird.” She said, hastily applying her makeup. He held her hand to stop her. She did stop but refused to look at him. Her eyes were blinded with tears.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said wiping off the tears from one eye to the other.

  “It’s not you. It’s me.”

  “No. I said something upsetting to you, and for the life of me, I don’t know what it was.”

  “That makes the two of us,” she lied. “I do cry for no reason, but that doesn’t mean am weak. Am stronger than you think. Way stronger.” He watched her ramble on until she stopped.

  “Feel better now?” he asked. She smiled.

  “I think so.”

  “Thank God,” he said with a sigh. At that moment, Bri knew Ethan wouldn’t desire her for a girlfriend. What man would date a roller-coaster woman? One minute she was fine, then the next a storm is brewing.

  “You’ll be fine,” he said as if reading her thought. She longed to be in his arms. His concern for her was endearing. She wished he was hers to keep, and
then turned away with sadness. I’m so unlucky, she thought.

  The pilot announced their arrival at Gander, where they would take another thirty-six-minute flight to Farewell ferry. The first flight took about an hour, fifty minutes.

  “It would only take thirty-six minutes,” he reminded her. At this point, Alice joined them.

  “How have you been?” Alice asked.

  “Safe,” Bri said, turning to Ethan.

  “She was brave,” he said. “Didn’t need to hold her hand.”

  “That was because my hand was squeezing the life out of his thigh.” Alice laughed.

  “I had fun. Heard a lot of stories,” Alice said. Ethan’s brow creased.

  “About what?” Bri asked.

  “For my ears only,” she replied.

  “And who had been entertaining you in my family?” Ethan asked.

  “Umm, I didn’t ask what the name was,” she lied, wishing she could take her words back. Bri gazed at her and then turned to Ethan. The smile had disappeared from his face.

  They’d arrived at Gander on time to catch their next flight and were running behind schedule. Ethan hurriedly helped his mom with her handbags, giving the girls room to talk.

  “What is it, Alice. What have you heard?”

  “A lot. We’ll talk later if our sleeping arrangement keeps us together,” Alice said.

  “Tell me a little bit now.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why?” Bri asked.

  “Because he’s coming.”

  Bri turned and there was Ethan.

  “Let’s go,” he said. And he said nothing more. This time, he sat two seats away from the girls, on the scanty airplane. There weren’t many passengers on it.

  “Is it about Ethan?” Bri whispered. Alice nodded.

  “And his twin brother, and his ex-girlfriend.”

  “He has a twin brother and an ex, not a girlfriend?”

  Alice turned to her. “He could have both ex and present girlfriend, I don’t know, but I know his ex is on this Island, and she’s crazy, and he’s not looking forward to meeting her by accident because of what she did to the family, rip it apart.”

  “How and who told you?” Bri asked. Ethan turned. Alice stared at him and said nothing. Bri gazed at him and then faked a smile. He did not smile back.

  “Now I don’t feel comfortable staying here,” Bri said.

  “Well, I am.”

  “I feel like am intruding into his family. Am nothing but a stranger. I feel awkward.”

  “Try not to. We didn’t crash his party. He invited us. This is a lifetime experience. You might never get to come to this Island on a free ticket again, so take the advantage and run with it.”

  “Too many emotions happening too soon.” Bri turned to Alice. I think am falling in love with him, and I don’t know how to protect myself from getting hurt again. I feel out-of-control in love with him.”

  “Wait, don’t fall in love just yet. Until we find out what’s swimming beneath the water.”

  “You think there’s something sinister about him?” Bri asked.

  “I know there is.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I’ll tell you when the time is right,” Alice said. Bri pondered.

  “Did someone die?”

  “Yes,” Alice said, but please, don't ask him questions. Let him tell you himself. He might resent you for that. I heard he's very private with his life.

  “I have my ways,” Bri said.

  27

  ⸙

  The journey from Farewell to Fogo on MV Captain Earl W. Winsor ferry was as short as expected, but Bri wanted it to end sooner than it did.

  “I’m exhausted,” Bri said. “This journey does take a toll on you.” She yawned, and then turned when she heard voices talking with excitement. She rose from her seat. Alice followed. She gazed far into the distance, shielding her eyes with her hands from the sun ray and spotted the Island. From the ferry position on the water, the Island seemed tiny, until they gradually drew closer to it. A few houses scattered around the island by the water edges.

  “It just seems so lonely here. Like the world abandoned them, yet it looks so peaceful you don’t want to trade it for a city life,” Bri said to Alice.

  “I can’t live here for more than a week. I would die of boredom.

  Ethan left his sister’s side and ambled towards them, placing his arms on the railing.

  “This is Fogo Island. My home,” he said with pride.

  “How often do you come here?” Bri asked, trying not to be too straightforward. She had many questions to ask, and she’d start with this one.

  “Not very many. I used to live here for months before returning to Montreal,” He said, staring into space as if reminiscing.

  “Then why did you stop?”

  He slowly peeled his eyes off the void before him and turned to her. Alice pretended to engage in a conversation with someone else, but Bri knew she was eavesdropping.

  “I…” he sighed as if holding back. “It’s a long story.”

  “Would you like to share it?”

  “Umm, no.” He turned and threw a glance at a group of his family members getting their stuff ready to touch land. “Maybe someday you’ll know everything about me,” he said without looking at her. But she could see the pain in his eyes.

  Someday! There is a someday, she thought.

  “You look sad,” she said, and raised her hand to touch his arm on the railing, and then put it back in place, pressing it hard against her left thigh, hoping he didn’t notice. He said nothing.

  What’s wrong with me acting like a puppy in love, she thought.

  “Something with this Island,” she said before stopping herself. Alice turned to her.

  “Something with this Island makes you fall in love,” Alice said. Bri threw her a surprised look. Ethan turned to Bri and smiled mischievously.”

  “Don’t listen to her. She says random things,” Bri said, but Ethan just smiled.

  “Me, too,” he said.

  It had been preplanned. All family members spread themselves to five homes of close relatives on Joe Batt’s Arm community on the Island. On arrival, Bri noticed houses were painted in white with gray roofs. A few were painted in red and gray, with gray roofs. They were sparsely populated and detached as they littered the edges of the Island.

  “This Island is built on fishing,” Ethan said.

  “What does everyone do for a living?” Bri asked.

  “Berry picking, Cod fishing, and a host of other crafts you’ll find as we take a walk after getting rested,” he said.

  “It’s quite peaceful here,” Bri said, gazing at the lichens on the ground as they sped past them like a breeze. They were heading to the inn. Just the two of them. Which angered Alice who left with the others on a bus.

  Ethan had arranged for Bri to stay at the inn with him on the grounds of honoring his word to protect her. His mother wasn’t buying it, neither was Alice, but Alice understood Ethan wanted to get closer to Bri without any sort of intrusion from his family or friends. He’d already told her of his plans to ‘allay her fears.’ Alice rolled her eyes when he said so.

  Sebastien and his girlfriend had been separated from him. Bri thought it was planned. His other friends promised to make it to the Island on Friday.

  “He’s keeping you away from his family,” Alice texted Bri. “And you know what that is. Better he told you everything himself if he would.”

  “He rented a room for both of us,” Bri texted.

  “How many beds?”

  “One. One king bed,” Bri replied, but there was no further reply. She peeled her eyes off her phone and took a tour around their room. It had a wood fireplace, she noticed. She walked toward the floor-to-ceiling window. The view of the ocean was spectacular. She fell in love with the island right away, wishing she could live there forever. The tranquility was something to die for.

  When she’d first gazed at the inn wi
th half of it resting on several beams, she’d doubted if she could sleep without fear of being crushed in it. The inner beauty far outweighed her previous judgment.

  She smiled upon spotting a pair of binoculars lying on a wooden table close to the window. She picked them up and gazed far into the vast ocean before placing them back. A few steps away sat two beautiful chairs opposite each other and right by the window also.

  Bri turned around and realized that their bed faced the ocean. She could wake up at night without the blinds drawn and think she was in the middle of the ocean. She shuddered. That would freak me out she thought before returning to the bed. She let herself fall on it.

  An hour went by before a message popped up on her screen. My phone died, was the message Alice sent. And then, where are you?

  “Getting ready,” Bri replied.

  “Well, you two are running late. We are about having dinner at the inn, where you reside. What’s keeping you?” Alice asked. And then sighed upon spotting Bri in Ethan’s arm. Her eyes popped. She threw a quick glance at Ethan’s mom and noticed the distaste in her eyes. That, too, is something Bri should know, she noted.

  Like a beautiful bride, Bri blushed as Ethan pulled out a chair for her to sit on. His mom turned the other way, chewing on a bite of the bun. He looked across the table. Bri followed his gaze and rested them on a strange lady she hadn’t met. His eyes rested on her, and hers on him, but he did not smile. Rather he leaned towards his mom and whispered. Bri read, what’s she doing here, on his lips.

  “She’s a guest,” his mom replied to her hearing. Bri turned to Alice who wouldn’t dare raise her head up. Strange, Bri thought.

  Dinner was still on when Ethan swept Bri out of the room, without saying good night to anyone, not even Alice.

  “Not cool, Bri. Remember we are still friends,” Alice said, no sooner than she left the diner and sat on the massive bed.

  “He wanted me out of there,” Bri said.

  “Did he say why?”

  “A little bit. Just said there was someone he didn’t want to see after dinner.”

  “We both know who the someone is,” Alice said.

  “I think I do. I saw her. The crazy girl.”