Still Breathing

by Rita Michaels

  Alice moved from the group and joined her friend sitting by herself, on the boulder she wouldn’t let go.

  “You seem stuck to your high chair,” Alice said, laughing.

  “Are we done?”

  “Done with what?” Alice asked.

  “Socializing?” Bri said, doing the quote and unquote in the air with her fingers.

  “We haven’t even started. We, my dear friend, will be going boat riding.”

  “Boat riding,” Bri said.

  “It’s going to be fun.”

  “You know I don’t do water. I don’t do height….”

  “And you don’t do relationships,” Alice added.

  “Well, that included.”

  “So, Bri, what do you do? Just catwalk, sit and read letters on a piece of paper, and then count how many dreams you have in your sleep?”

  “It’s not….”

  “I don’t know what happened to you in the past, but you’re letting it ruin your present. Have fun. Life is too short to delay. Your bones can only last a while before you become, God forbid, wheelchair bound.”

  “I drink my milk.”

  “So?”

  “I’ll age gracefully,” Bri said, making light of Alice’s growing impatience. She turned to the group who’d began preparing for the boat ride. “I have a serious aquaphobia.”

  “We’ll take care of it. Hey, you might even lose your fear of water today and you can thank me later.” A cool breeze swept past them.

  “I really love the cool air. Why can’t we wait and let them go speed boating, or whatever?” Bri said.

  “There’s no fun watching others having fun,” Alice said and rose. She pulled Bri up. Bri peeled off her skirt sticking to her body and felt the fabric left some sort of marks on her. She felt the urge to feel it through her skirt but changed her mind should her new friends think she’s picking her butt.

  “I don’t have my bikini on.”

  “Neither do I. None of us planned for this, which makes it fun. Now, don’t tell me you don’t want to get wet because you are not salt.”

  “No mom,” Bri said before tucking her book back into her bag. “But I sure don’t want to get my purse wet. I can’t afford another one.”

  “I’ll hang onto your purse if that’s what will stop you.”

  “Ready, ladies?” Sebastien asked, adjusting his speedo. He’d jilted his beach shorts, so did Ethan, and the other guys. Bri threw a quick glance at Ethan and turned the other way. Ethan smiled.

  He looks shining, like a roasted what I don’t want to call him.

  “Suntan lotion, ladies?” Ethan said.

  “No. We don’t have our swimwear beneath our clothes,” Alice said.

  “We didn’t need one,” Bri added.”

  “I can tell,” Ethan said.

  Cocky, too. Bri observed.

  “Tell you what, why don’t I borrow you my beach shorts, that’s if you can take off your top.”

  Alice’s eyes lit up. “Ooooh,” she said. Even the others turned to Ethan as if asking, really?

  Bri frowned. “Um, no, thanks?”

  “Just an act of kindness. No strings attached,” he said, before heading towards the boats idling in the water. The rest followed.

  “Wow, Bri. He seemed to like you.” Bri said nothing. “I think he likes you,” Alice said.

  “I can’t see myself in his sweaty shorts. Those wets ball rubbing against it, and then my you know what…. argh.”

  “I know. I wouldn’t wear them either. He just wants to see your slim, model physique.”

  “Then he should come to the runway show.”

  “Are you going to ask him?”

  “Hell, no. I barely know him. I don’t know him. We’re not even friends.” Bri dusted the sand off her sandals.

  “You could be. You only have to ask.” Alice said.

  “I’m fine the way I am. No complications,” Bri said and then stopped talking as they got to the river bank.

  “Guys, we’re going to split into two groups. Ethan will be the head of half of the group, and I will manage the rest of us, so,” Sebastien turned to Ethan, “Who’s your first pick?”

  Ethan squinted like an albino shielding his eyes from the extreme sunlight and pretended to search for the most able-bodied would-be-survivor amongst the group. He turned to Sebastien.

  “I would start with, what’s her name again?” He said, pointing.

  “Bri,” Alice said.

  “He doesn’t even know my name, or he was obviously not paying attention to the million times you called my name,” Bri whispered.

  “Yes. Bri. I pick Bri,” Ethan said, with his brow raised. Sorry, he mouthed to Bri who seemed obviously offended.

  Sebastien picked Alice.

  “How dare they separate us,” Bri said. Alice laughed.

  “To be frank, I kind of wanted it that way, too.”

  “Traitor,” Bri said.

  “Don’t worry. I will hang your purse around my neck.”

  “Please, do. Guard it with your life.” Bri said.

  “May I?” Ethan said stretching out his arm.

  Why not, his hairiness. Bri thought before slowly stretching her arm until her hand enclosed in his. Instantly, she felt the softness of his palm and wondered what he did for a living.

  He gently helped her into the boat, and then in a hurry, asked the others to join in. He went in last. A real captain. Bri thought, again.

  By the time the boat ride ended, Bri looked as dreary as a dark, cloudy day. She was cold, drenched, and displeased with the entire experience. Her hair looked like the little girl who stepped out of a running TV on a scary movie, looking drippy wet. She shook her head as if in answer to an invisible questioner.

  Alice, on the other hand, ran toward her, brandishing Bri’s purse above. She looked as dry as the desert.

  “How was it? She asked before wrinkling her nose. Bri gazed at her. “Okay. I guess you didn’t have fun.”

  “Obviously,” Bri said.

  “What happened? Did you fall off the boat?”

  “No. Mr. Cute decided to give us all a shower. Not that I needed it.”

  “He’s probably a bad driver then.”

  “No. He did it on purpose,” Bri said, stamping off the wet sands now clinging to her feet and sandals.”

  Alice turned, looking at the others in Bri’s boat. They were as wet as Bri. Alice chuckled.

  “Common, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. Look at the rest of your group,” Alice said.

  “I just want to go home.”

  “Time for some refreshment, ladies, and gentlemen,” Ethan said and then opened up the basket. He started to throw some can drinks to whoever was ready to catch it.

  Bri sat on a boulder, and wrung the water off her skirt, then held it away from her skin. Ethan glanced in their direction, grabbed three cans of Pepsi, and walked towards them.

  “Please, make him go away,” Bri begged.

  “Care for some drinks?” He said.

  “Yes, please,” Alice said, reaching for one.

  Ethan handed one to Bri. She took it.

  “Thanks, but I’d like to go home now. I’ve had enough fun for one day.” Bri said, holding her drink with the tips of her fingers. The can was too cold to her touch.

  “I’m glad you did,” Ethan said. Alice smiled. She knew it wasn’t fun for Bri.

  “Um, I was wondering if we could do this again,” he said.

  “Hell no,” Bri spat.

  “She doesn’t really like the water,” Alice defended her.

  “No. Not boat riding.”

  “Thank God,” Bri said. Realizing she was acting difficult.

  Ethan watched her, observing.

  “My sister is having her wedding coming up soon.”

  “Really?” Alice said. That got more of Bri’s attention. She was a sucker for weddings. She sat up a little straighter.

  “We would be flying to Newfoundland for the wedding.�
�

  The word fly rang in Bri’s ears. She nodded her head while he spoke. Ethan stopped.

  “I don’t do sky high. I don’t fly.”

  “Common, Bri. It’ll be fun.” Alice said.

  “So you said before I got drenched in the boat. I don’t want to fall off the sky.”

  Ethan couldn’t stomach it anymore. All the pent-up laughter busted out.”

  “How is this funny?” Bri asked, genuinely angry.

  “She really is scared of heights,” Alice said.

  “It’s safe to fly,” Ethan said before turning serious. “I would really like you to come.”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t. Too much demands for one day. First I went into the water just to suck it up and be a big girl, now this?”

  “I’ll make sure you return home safely,” he said.

  Bri glanced at her wet skirt and top. She wouldn’t trust him with her life.

  “Am sorry for the boat ride, but I’m not the pilot to fly the plane,” he said, and then chuckled.

  “That’s true, Bri. He won’t be piloting the plane, or I wouldn’t agree to go on it, too.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Bri said, glaring at Alice.

  “Good,” Ethan said.

  “When is the wedding?” Alice asked.

  “Next weekend, but we should leave for Fogo Island on Friday and then get rested before the next day.”

  “Fogo Island,” Bri said, her eyes lighting up.

  “Yes. That’s where am from,” Ethan replied.

  “I heard a lot about the Island,” she said.

  “Then you should come see for yourself,” he said. Alice watched the two of them before silently slipping away to leave the two should-be-lovebirds.

  Ethan noticed Alice’s intent and then jumped into the opportunity.

  “Why don’t we share our numbers, so I can get you posted on the upcoming journey?”

  Bri hesitated. “Let me have your phone,” she said.

  He slipped his hand into his beach shorts, which he had put back on after the boat ride, and then handed it to her. He inched closer and squatted beside her. Bri felt the heat from his body. He had no shirt on. He watched her while she punched at the screen of his phone. When she was done, he gazed at her longingly before taking his phone back.

  Bri felt uncomfortable. He tapped on his phone. Bri’s phone rang. He turned to her, smiling.

  “Thanks,” he said.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Just in the nick of time, Alice appeared, as Ethan was sauntering away back to the rest of his friends who were busy making jokes and eating.

  “Did you give him your number?” Alice asked.

  “He asked for it. Is my make-up still on? Are my freckles showing?”

  “A little bit,” Alice said.

  “Damn,” Bri said, disappointed. It was supposed to be water resistant.”

  “I was joking. Your make-up is perfect, and we are leaving right about now.”

  “Why did I think you had to give me the go ahead to leave?” Bri said as they said their goodbyes and walked off the beach.

  “I don’t know,” Alice said. But you do it a lot. Let people dictate for you.”

  “I don't think so,” she said, but she felt it was something she had to ponder on. Was she portraying herself as vulnerable, someone without a spine? She wondered.

  26

  ⸙

  “I can't believe I actually agreed to embark on this journey,” Bri said, slumping into her couch.

  “Well, you can't back out now especially after Ethan paid for your flight ticket,” Alice said. She had since become Bri's roommate since the beach incident. Her boyfriend had locked her out of their apartment, and she'd turned to the only spinster she knew would help her without batting an eye.

  “I wish he didn't have to do it. All I said to him was I couldn’t make the journey as the booking office was closed for the day.”

  Alice laughed. “I remember you calling him in the dead of the night so he wouldn't help you try.”

  “I changed my mind. I didn't want to go anymore.” Bri said.

  “But why? You're too scared to fall in love, I guess,” Alice said.

  “No.”

  “Then what? Ethan is handsome, intelligent, and easy-going. He's a man every woman would dream off.”

  “That’s what scares me. Every quality you mentioned about him was exactly what I saw in my ex, and I fell for it.”

  Alice's forehead wrinkled.

  “You know, you never told me about your past.”

  “You never asked,” Bri said and then rose.

  “That’s because I didn’t want to be nosy. You know everything about me, well, almost everything,” Alice said, rising, too, and heading to the kitchen.

  Bri drew in a breath, pretending to be surprised.

  “Is there a sex-tape somewhere on the internet?”

  “Maybe,” Alice said, laughing. “Now you changed the subject.”

  “Yes, I did,” Bri said. “In due time, you'll know all about me.”

  “That's fine by me. As long as you never killed anyone, not a spy, and not an assassin.”

  Bri turned to her looking serious. My life is an open book. You can only see between the lines if you look hard enough.”

  “I haven't got that good of a sight to read between the lines, so I'll wait. But, Bri, it's okay to fall in love again.”

  “I hope to, someday, but not with this one.”

  “What’s wrong with this one?” Alice asked.

  “Everything. I can’t be a fool twice. Never.”

  Alice glanced at the wall clock. She turned swiftly to Bri. Her eyes bulged.

  “What?” Bri said, following her gaze.

  “We are fifteen minutes late to the airport.”

  “Don't worry. We'll make it there in no time. It's only a twenty minutes’ drive.”

  “Did you add traffic to your calculation? Remember we do not have a highway in our names.”

  “Don't worry.”

  “I am. Let's go. She said, grabbing her bag and Bri’s'.

  “Well, thanks. I can carry my own bag.”

  “It's okay. Just helping you to move faster. I know you don't want to go that's why you delayed us by making that bacon and egg. I wondered why because you never cooked. I do the cooking.”

  Bri smiled. “You can read between the lines.”

  Alice rolled her eyes. “No more line reading. We've got a plane to catch. Hopefully, they don't leave us behind. I know you'd love that.”

  “You bet I will.”

  Between the time Alice called the taxi services, and the taxi's arrival, Bri kicked off her shoes thrice.

  “Why, why did I subject myself to this?” she lamented.

  “You like Fogo Island, remember? That’s what you told Ethan. Consider it a little vacation from displaying your little behind on the runway ramp.”

  “I've to be back at work on Monday,” Bri said.

  “Right. Before then, enjoy these moments that don't last a lifetime.” Alice hurled her bag into the car trunk after Bri, and then hurried to the passenger side of the taxi. Suddenly she stopped.

  “Did you forget something?” Bri asked, staring at Alice.

  “No. Just want to make sure I don't.”

  “Hmm,” Bri said, sensing her friend's sarcasm.

  “Please, get in before me. Consider it an honor.” Alice said.

  “Yeah, right. I'm a girl of my word.”

  “I know,” Alice said.

  ⸙

  Fifteen minutes later, the ladies arrived. They gazed out of the window and spotted Ethan standing outside Mirabel International airport, waiting.

  She stared at his face briefly and then looked away. Her heart fluttered. Please, God, no more flutters. He stepped forward and opened the back passenger door closest to him, Bri's door.

  “Thank you,” she said, straightening her brown cotton pants and glancing at everything around the airp
ort but Ethan.

  “You’re welcome,” he said in a gentle voice. “I'm glad you made it on time.”

  “On time! Ethan, I know you're trying to be a gentleman and all, but we know we're twenty-five minutes late,” Alice said before heading to the trunk. Ethan shrugged.

  “I'm sorry. It was my fault,” Bri said. “I hope the others aren't pissed off.”

  He smiled. “No. I told them it could be the traffic,” he said.

  “Or bacon and eggs,” Alice said. Ethan wrinkled his forehead.

  “Don't listen to her. She talks too much,” Bri said. Alice looked at them.

  “At least my talking was productive,” Alice said. Bri rolled her eyes.

  “This way, please, he said, carrying their bags with ease. Bri stole a glance at his exposed arms and noticed how muscular they were. She gulped, pondered before parting her lips.

  “What did you say you did for a living again?” she asked.

  He turned to her. “I never said.”

  Bri waited. He paused longer than she expected.

  “MMA.”

  She nodded, smiling. He saw her.

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Why what?”

  “You nodded your head.”

  “I was just giving myself a pat on the back for guessing right,” she said, blushing, which surprised her. She was enjoying talking to him, but inwardly cautioning herself to thread carefully before letting the cat out of the bag.

  “You, what do you do for a living?”

  “Why not find out for yourself,” she said, smiling then turned to Alice who pretended to be out of earshot. He did the one over.

  “I've always known you to be a model,” he said, smiling and nodding his head after seeing the surprise in her eyes.

  Bri turned to Alice who shrugged. They weaved through people hurrying to get to their terminal, some doing last minute shopping at the airport stores.

  “Have you been talking to him,” she whispered to Alice.

  “No. He must've seen your legs and your straight physique like a capital I.”

  “My physique is perfect, and my legs are no different from yours,” Bri said to her.

  “How did you know what I do?”

  “I just knew. Here we are,” Ethan said. Bri and Alice glanced at each other upon spotting the number of family members waiting to board the same plane as they.”