Different Loving

by William Brame

  [She] was the impetus that got us into the tattooing. I had one or two magazines and found it interesting, but she was the one who decided to actually go out and get the first tattoo. I quickly discovered that it had a strong erotic appeal to me. I found the actual process of tattooing and then the beautiful images on the body to be extraordinarily erotic.

  The main impact of tattooing on me was having to deal with my own mortality. I know that may sound a bit strange, but the realization that if you put a mark on your body, it’ll be there for the rest of your life takes you back for a moment. For example, one of the first comments made to my wife by a medical person when she had her first tattoo is, “Oh, my God, you’ll be 92 on a mortician’s slab, and they’ll be stretching your skin, trying to figure out what the tattoo once was.” This was the individual’s ultimate horror. My wife, on the other hand, giggled at the thought and liked the idea that at 92 and even past death she would be able to send some message that she had lived a different and stranger life than the average person.

  When you begin to deal with tattooing, you have to think clearly about your own values—how transient or how permanent they are—as you choose images that you will live with. You wonder: Five, 10, 15, 20 years from now, what will be your response to the tattooing? Where will your life have changed? And then, of course, you have to review backwards: How much have I changed in the last 10 years? It is a very interesting process that you go through to decide on your tattooing art.

  I carry the tattoo of a lion on my back. It’s taking up about a quarter of my back. It’s a piece designed by a very close friend over a six-month period. I’m now planning some additional pieces. For me, the tattoos are very much symbolic of passages of given time. I envision being tattooed slowly over a long period of time.

  The amount of discomfort that’s involved with tattooing is significant enough so that I’ve been asked to enter the field to try to achieve certain levels of anesthesia to help people who are not interested in the pain. The pain can be described as an intense scratching. The difficulty comes from the length of the process. My tattoo required four hours of sitting absolutely still while a sewing-machine-type device is run over the skin repeatedly, time and time and time again. Slowly but surely the area begins to burn intensely.

  The tattooing felt as I would imagine either a North American Indian or African tribal initiation would feel, because it was intense [and] required concentration and focus to overcome the discomfort. In our society there’s no process during which one is supposed to feel discomfort. If one has an operation, one has anesthesia; if one is mentally in pain, one can take a pill. With tattooing, one is voluntarily subjecting himself to intense discomfort with full recognition that this is being done for the purpose of creating art on the body, the body being the ultimate canvas.

  My wife seemed to be beyond it. A lot of experienced tattoo artists were astonished by her focus and concentration. I think this is partly where the passion of the tattooing comes from. For one to sit many hours while the images are placed on your body is a symbol of the amount of passion in that individual. The images in effect are as if burned into the soul and finally [emerging] onto the skin. As you go through this process, you become more and more obsessed with the images that you’re going to put on your body, until you must absolutely get tattooed, or you cannot continue with your daily life.

  I know this is highly unusual for a professional—let alone most people in this society—but I view tattooing as the highest art form, considering the nature of the canvas. There is a small, growing core of tattoo artists who view it as the ultimate expression of the individual. Plastic surgery has been well accepted in our society for a long time. It’s a process, though, of conformity. One has the ideal nose in mind and tries to shape many noses into that one ideal image. I think that’s why extensive plastic surgery is found to be socially quite acceptable and tattooing is considered to be quite radical. Tattooing is the ultimate individual expression. By the time it is done, the person looks like no other individual in society.

  In terms of fantasies, I do [have] a general one: setting up a modern-day tribe. I have this image of a multimillion-dollar complex with a lot of living space and a group of highly intense and charged individuals who are working and loving together. It’s the grand fantasy, in the “modern primitives” sense, a very self-reliant group. I see tattooing potentially as being a part of an extended relationship because tattooing gives a distinct tribal feel and I think creates within a group the sense of continuity.

  THE DOCTOR’S WIFE

  What do I get out of all this? A number of things. It’s an expression of the fact that I am not necessarily what I seem. I am not the typical doctor’s wife, not the typical mother. There’s more to me than most people know. At this point it’s an external statement. I’ve always had a line: People either knew me or they didn’t. There were things they needed to know to be considered friends or for me to be completely comfortable with them. And the tattoos are a kind of external expression of this. You don’t really know me if you haven’t seen my tattoos.

  I get the tattoos for myself; that’s what they’re for—me. I also know that [The Doctor] likes them, and that’s very important. I’m not sure what would have happened if he had had a completely negative reaction. I don’t know if I would have gotten the first one. I might have. Now they express a link between [The Doctor] and myself. We’re both tattooed. When someone sees us walking down the street, very often he’ll have his tattoos showing, and I’ll have mine showing. I wasn’t sure he was going to get one when I first got it. But it has taken on that [meaning] for me, that feeling of commitment.

  The tattoos speak of a kind of an intensity and a passion and a lack of [the] fear that most people have. The thing that most people back away from and are very afraid of is the fact that [tattoos] are permanent. When I first got them, that was the most interesting aspect to most people. It wasn’t what it was, or where it was, or even the art of it. People said, “How do you know you’ll want it there five years from now?” Well, nowadays you probably can change them, but when I got them, I was not aware they could be changed. In some ways it’s a willingness to commit to something, to making yourself different from the rest of the world, to acknowledge it.

  When someone asks me, “What if you don’t want it there five years from now?” my attitude is, “What if I don’t want my kids five years from now?” I’ve made a commitment. Why wouldn’t I want it? I’ve made a decision. It grows with you. It’s a part of you. In [my] 36 years I have made numerous decisions, and I don’t have any major regrets about the decisions I’ve made in my life. I looked at all the options; I thought about almost nothing else for that period of time and looked at it every which way I could think of [and made my decision].

  Wearing a piece of art appealed to me. It was an expression of being different, acknowledging the fact that I wanted it and that I was not afraid. I liked the idea that it would be there the rest of my life and that I chose to put it there. I have a number of beauty marks on my body. I’ve always accepted them. But the idea of choosing something that I would wear the rest of my life appealed to me.

  My husband got excited and really got involved; [he] enjoyed the idea, so I decided to go with my first piece on the shoulder blade three years ago. The first piece is an open rose. It’s predominantly different shades of blue. The first [time], I was apprehensive, because I had never been in a tattoo parlor before. I had uncomfortable feelings about going [there]. I chose to have the individual who had the tattoo on his back go with me to have somebody who could tell me what to expect. We went, and I brought home three different designs. [The Doctor] and I decided on the rose. Then I went back and had it done.

  [The Doctor] was fascinated; he was excited by the entire experience. I know he liked that I was willing to take a certain amount of pain to put something on my body. [But] it was not exclusively for him. If I’d done it for him, it might not have been as positive. It was for
me and for him; it was for us. [The pain] was not an issue for me. It was uncomfortable, but I didn’t feel like I had gone beyond my limit. It was less painful than I had expected it to be.

  It [took] about two weeks for the tattoo to heal. During that period of time, after 10 years of marriage, I was the hottest thing on two legs again, which was a wonderful feeling. He followed me around the house; he was always nearby, touching, holding. It was wonderful.

  I went for the second one alone. I never did that again. It was more painful; I had nothing to focus on. That’s the only time that I got up—the tattoo wasn’t done; it still needed a little bit more color—and said, “No. It’ll get done some other time.” It was not the most painful area to get done. I just wanted [The Doctor] with me. From then on, I would not go by myself.

  I went through cycles of getting a tattoo every two to four weeks. As soon as one would heal, we’d start talking about the next one. The piece [on my back] started off as flowers—the rose, an orchid, a lotus, and a morning glory with graphics.

  We [also] experimented with painless tattooing, and I had a [kitty] cat put on my bikini line. We did it with lidocaine. You don’t feel it going on, but when the [anesthesia] wears off, you’re suddenly aware you have a tattoo. It’s the only one that I have that I didn’t feel being put on.

  I had a hip piece done on the right side. It’s [an] Aladdin’s lamp with smoke turning into the front of a horse. There’s a carp on my right breast. And then I had all the flowers connected with smoke and graphics. And bubbles. They wind around to a graphic piece on the bottom of my left buttock, and the smoke goes to a cauldron on the inner aspect of my left thigh. In shorts, you see two sources of smoke, basically, on the outer side of one thigh and the inner of the other. I got them all within nine months. I sound like I’m terribly tattooed, but I can go out and you wouldn’t see any of them. I can wear a sleeveless blouse; I can wear a scoop neck; I can wear anything except short shorts or a bathing suit.

  I was not uncomfortable with [being nude for the tattoo]. I was aware that it turned [my husband] on, and I found that pleasant and somewhat exciting. In some ways, with him it’s more of a sense of pride. It’s not something I would have done if he hadn’t been there. But it’s a sharing of me. I don’t know if it would have had a different effect if it had been a stranger. We were very good friends with the tattooist. I knew his children, his wife; we’d socialized. A lot of people find that very uncomfortable, [but] we’ve always socialized with my obstetrician, too.

  The art of tattoos is sexy. They are beautiful pieces of art, and to me they are [permanent, aesthetic] accessories. Whether [I’m] wearing a backless dress or a formal gown, they add something. I think they’re also an expression of passion and strength that can be sensual and sexy. I may objectively fit more patterns than I care to admit to in terms of looking and playing the submissive, but there’s a strength and an amount of control [within me] that I insist on. The tattoos reflect that strength.

  When I find a piece that I like, or I find a place that I want [tattooed], tattooing and the ensuing sexual energy in the household appeals to me. [The Doctor] definitely is going to get more. And I will probably get another one. There is an arm piece that I will eventually get. It will be a black graphic band around the upper aspect of my arm. I’ll probably have [The Doctor’s] name somewhere in it, not necessarily easily found, but definitely there. The question is when. It may be something I’ll do now. Or if for some reason I lose him, that will be the black arm band I will wear to show devotion for the rest of my life.

  Seventeen

  PIERCING AND SCARIFICATION

  … after being freed she had not wanted to leave her masters, as the large hole pierced in her right ear showed.

  —GUSTAVE FLAUBERT1

  The body modification most likely to cause alarm in the mainstream observer—a piercing to genitalia or nipples—is also the most deliberately sensual form of body modification. These singular invasions of erogenous zones enhance the sensual pleasure both of the adorned and his or her beloved.

  Tens of thousands of individuals have opted for this radical physical change, a change often invisible to any but the piercer’s intimate partners. Piercing fans range from new-wave neopunks to conservative businessmen. Indeed, one of the people responsible for introducing exotic piercings to contemporary American culture was a self-made millionaire who helped develop Muzak.

  In this chapter we examine the diversity of styles of piercings and other extreme invasions such as cutting, scarification, and branding. All the practices described in this chapter entail potential health risks. An expert must be consulted before any one is undertaken. We hear from Fakir Musafar on piercing and feature profiles of:

  • Logger V. is 40 years old and a professional piercer. He is a handicapped-employment specialist and a sign-language interpreter for the deaf. Logger V. is in a permanent, live-in relationship with his lover.

  • Adida is a software engineer and aerobics instructor whose interests include martial arts, skydiving, and ballet.

  • Mr. Happy lives with Adida and works as a software engineering consultant. His interests include skydiving and motorcycles. Both Adida and Mr. Happy are in their 30s.

  MODERN HISTORY

  Piercing has no easily summarized, linear history. Acts of perforation, incision, cautery, insertion, and staining have been practiced by prehistoric and contemporary cultures alike. Perforations of the earlobe, the lip, the nose, and even the genitalia have been widely documented throughout the world. The history of each will be discussed below, according to type.

  According to RE/Search: Modern Primitives, an exhaustive text on the subject, the “father of the modern rebirth of piercing” was Richard Symington, a millionaire who made a fortune from his role in the invention of Muzak. In the early 1970s Mr. Symington helped to organize a small but committed group of piercing enthusiasts. They included Fakir Musafar and Jim Ward, the eminences grises of piercing. Ward founded The Gauntlet, the country’s best-known piercing salon, and Piercing Fans International Quarterly, the premiere publication for piercers.

  HOW IS IT DONE?

  Few parts of the body cannot, at least theoretically, be pierced. A general rule of piercing, however, is that body protrusions are preferable to flat areas. When a ring is implanted in a flat surface of the body, the piercing heals slowly, if at all. For example, we spoke with a man who designed a unique piercing for himself at the top of the nape of his neck. After nine months, the piercing was finally fully healed but was still too tender for erotic play.

  Piercing must be performed under sterile conditions. A sterilized needle is used to penetrate the skin. The gauge of the needle usually depends on the density of the tissue to be pierced. The skin is clamped with forceps, and antibacterial agents are applied liberally. Some specialists mark the site with tattoo ink. Once the needle is pushed through the skin, jewelry of surgical steel or of another nonreactive metal is carefully placed in the hole.

  Safety precautions cannot be overemphasized. Piercings and all such invasive modifications are wounds which may bleed and which are highly susceptible to infection. In addition, the procedures may result in nerve damage, tissue necrosis, or hemorrhage.

  Different techniques and precautions apply to different areas of the body. Selecting the appropriate needle gauge is crucial.

  Gauge is very important in piercing. Imagine a wire cheese cutter and how easily it slices through cheese. A thin gauge will do the same thing. I recommend a little thicker gauge for areas that are very sensitive and prone to be easily cut.

  —LOGGER V.

  Jewelry must be carefully matched to the type and location of the piercing. For example, earrings should not be worn anywhere else; custom jewelry for exotic piercings should be worn only in the piercings for which they were designed. Once the wound heals, piercers may elect to enlarge the size of the piercing, gradually introducing thicker-gauge jewelry.

  Although the ultimate goa
l of an exotic piercing may be largely sexual, the actual procedures “are unlikely to be done in the context of any kind of sex or SM scene.”2 Piercing is too sensitive a procedure to risk distractions.

  As I try to explain when we have group piercing rituals—which have become quite popular in the last year here in California—piercing is not something to be taken lightly. We’re doing a rather serious thing: We’re imposing on the life inside a body something that is not there in a natural state.

  —FAKIR MUSAFAR

  WHY DO THEY LIKE IT?

  The motivations for piercing are as eclectic as the piercers themselves.

  The people in piercing are so diverse. They want so many different things, and they each have a little fantasy.

  —LOGGER V.

  There is general consensus, however, that piercings of the erogenous zones are done to enhance the sexual pleasure of piercees and their partners. Some women reported having more orgasms when making love to men adorned with penis piercings. Piercings of the female genitalia, meanwhile, may stimulate the clitoris when a woman walks or moves.

  In the case of submissives, piercings to erogenous zones may also signify ownership by a dominant. Gold rings are particularly popular among D&Sers for whom a ring through flesh connotes erotic servitude. Rings may be tugged, turned, or otherwise manipulated to create intense stimulation. Chain or rope may be attached to control or restrain the submissive.

  Aesthetic considerations also motivate piercers.

  I think that [piercings] are pretty in the same way that other jewelry is pretty. Because of my job, I cannot decorate from the neck up, so earrings and nose rings are out, makeup’s out. This is a way for me to decorate and get away with it.