Different Loving

by William Brame

  —MR. HAPPY

  Piercing may represent a private physical challenge. Interviewees compared the experience of being pierced to high-adrenaline sports in which the mind becomes completely focused on the body and one’s primal energies are awakened.

  It’s empowering to know I’m brave enough to try this. I enjoy the feeling that I can do anything.… The moment when the needle goes through is painful, but it’s a jolt that gets energy going out all over your body. You know you’re alive! You see what focus is. In martial arts we always say, “We have to be focused,” but I hadn’t truly understood it until [my] piercing. Now I know what focus is!

  —ADIDA

  Some piercers specifically enjoy the aftereffects of the piercing and find the new sensitivity exciting.

  Before, unless my outer labia were pinched really hard, they were just sort of there. The rings make me aware of them in a whole new way. It’s like getting new body parts.

  —CASSANDRA

  The moment of piercing usually has a deep personal and spiritual significance. A number of interviewees likened the act to a magic ritual. When a spiritual dimension is part of the experience—as it was for the majority of people to whom we spoke—the piercing may also be a personal rite of passage that marks a transformation.

  [For many], the piercing marks the beginning of a new phase of their life. For the most part, it seems to provide something that is missing in our culture. In other words, there is usually no provided rite of passage, and those that are invented are sometimes not too satisfactory.

  —FAKIR MUSAFAR

  Although modern primitives make up a significant subgroup among piercers, many piercers do not consciously emulate pagan or primitivistic customs. Experienced piercers, however, do acknowledge that the process is a momentous occasion, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

  TYPES OF PIERCINGS

  EAR

  Ear fashions have varied through time and from culture to culture. Historically and prehistorically in the Americas and the Pacific, spools were inserted in ear perforations to enlarge the lobe, sometimes to massive proportions. Aboriginal aristocrats of Easter Island were known as “Big Ears” because of this practice.

  While multiple ear piercings were exotic a couple of decades ago in America, women’s fashions have gradually yielded to foreign influences and multicultural heterogeneity. Men have opted for ear piercings as well. Single-ring ear piercing of men probably derives from a tradition among sailors to wear single-ear piercings after surviving a shipwreck.

  Today a man’s pierced ear may be a symbol of gayness. The catchphrase “Right is gay, left’s okay” means that, generally, heterosexual men pierce the left lobe, gay men the right. Gay men, however, usually adhere to the left = dominant, right = submissive code, and many heterosexual D&Sers follow suit. Confusion over these codes prevails, so, when in doubt, ask.

  NOSE

  Septum and nostril piercings were practiced by tribes in Africa, South America, Melanesia, Polynesia, and North America. Among Hindu women, piercing of alae (the outer wings of the nostrils) continues today and is both aesthetically pleasing and indicative of marital status; additional ornamentation, such as a gold chain connecting the nostril to the earlobe, flaunts the wearer’s wealth. Nostril piercings in America are largely a relic of the influence of Hindu culture upon hippies in the 1960s. These piercings are said to be more painful than septum piercings, which were commonly practiced in other non-Western cultures.

  I’ve never pierced a woman’s nose, but when I pierce a man’s septum, he is afraid it’s going to hurt [badly]. It doesn’t hurt that much at all. However, the side of the nose is a very painful area because of the nerve endings. But pain is in the mind. I have had people who felt no pain whatsoever.

  —LOGGER V.

  For the alae, many piercers elect to use a “nostril screw,” which is specially designed for nasal comfort. A far rarer piercing is occasionally performed on the bridge of the nose.

  EYEBROWS AND CHEEKS

  Fairly uncommon among aficionados, facial piercings seem to be most popular in punk and youth subcultures, where the adornment is less likely to be a gold ring than a safety pin.

  TONGUE AND LIPS

  Tongue piercings are somewhat rare and considered painful. Swelling occurs, there is high risk of infection, and healing can be slow. In tongue piercing, a small stud is emplaced near the tip.

  Tongue piercing is very difficult, because the tongue will swell, and the person pierced will be out of commission for a while. But I understand that it’s very interesting and fascinating, depending on your sex partner!

  —LOGGER V.

  Less invasive is a piercing on the lower lip through which a small ring is inserted. This piercing is called a labret. The lower lip has been a popular site for perforation and insertion: The women of the Sara tribe of Central Africa use saucer-shaped plugs to spread the lip after slitting. A variety of lip plugs have been used among groups in Africa, South America, as well as Inuit and Pacific Northwestern Indian tribes.

  NIPPLE

  Perhaps the most popular sensual piercing, nipple piercing is performed on both genders. Some practitioners suspend light weights from the rings once the wounds have healed.

  I got my nipples pierced, and they’re just now reaching the point where they can start to be played with. The rings in them are 14-gauge, and you don’t really want to do heavy play with them until they’re up to 10-gauge.

  —CASSANDRA

  Pierced nipples may remain permanently erect and may become slightly enlarged. Some people enjoy the additional stimulation this affords, while others find it too intense. Women with pierced nipples may find that a brassiere causes chafing.

  Most nipple piercings are decorated with small rings or customized jewelry, but some devotees deliberately enlarge the hole by gradually inserting heavier-gauge jewelry. Once the wound is healed, the jewelry may be manipulated as a part of erotic play among D&Sers.

  NAVEL

  Navel piercings apparently originated among the nobility of ancient Egypt. This style has been resurrected in Europe and the United States. A navel piercing draws the eye to the erogenous zones.

  The navel piercing is usually through the upper ridge, but I have done some on the sides and on the bottom ridge. A ring will go sideways or fall flat on the navel. I think it looks very nice, especially on a woman who’s got a nice figure and a slim waist. It’s very beautiful.

  —LOGGER V.

  GENITALIA

  An astonishing variety of genital piercings is available. Not surprisingly, fewer are available to women than men, since women have fewer protrusions from which to select.

  The men we interviewed stated that the potential for increasing their partners’ sexual pleasure was a primary motivation.

  I’ve gotten very favorable feedback from all the women I’ve been with since my piercings. I think it’s unusual that when a man does something painful for the benefit of the partner, some view it as mutilation. Women wear high heels and go through all kinds of things, like breast surgery, to please.

  —MR. HAPPY

  MALE GENITALIA

  Prince Albert: The best known of the piercings to the glans (the head of the penis) is the Prince Albert. Here a ring is emplaced through the urethra and glans. According to folklore, Queen Victoria’s consort, Prince Albert, wore the ring to retract his foreskin so he could maintain cleanliness and eliminate any offending odor, presumably to avoid insulting the delicate sensibilities of his Queen. We have found no reliable documentation to support this claim. The Prince Albert (known familiarly as a “P.A.”) was also called a “dressing ring” by the Victorians who allegedly used the ring to bind the penis to the leg under extremely tight trousers, thus preventing unsightly bulging. Again, we could not locate any period sources to confirm this charming fashion legend. Whatever its history, the P.A. enjoys considerable vogue today.

  Ampallang: The ampallang, which transects the glans horizonta
lly above the urethra, is the most widely documented male genital piercing. In its original cultural context this piercing was a rite of passage and frankly sexual in intent. The Dayaks of Borneo and the Toradhja and Sadang of Celebes wore ampallangs to enhance female pleasure. Dayak women reportedly would not have intercourse with men who lacked them. South African rock paintings depict similar penis adornments.

  The concept was known in the West as early as 1590, when a penis bar was reported in the Boxer Codex from the Philippines. It was probably first practiced in the West by 19th Century sailors. Modern ampallang jewelry resembles a barbell: a slender bar, usually gold, terminated on either end by a small globe. Contemporary advocates agree that the ampallang’s main virtue is the enhancement of their partners’ pleasure.

  Guys [in the South Pacific] go out and get ampallangs the same way they go out and buy cars in this country: to impress the female. On their wedding night the woman selects which size balls feel best to her. It’s like, “Well, pull out, honey. Let’s see, we’ll try the number five now.” The reason it works is fairly obvious: In certain positions for penetration, the gold balls rub the G-spot.

  —MR. HAPPY

  Dydoe: The dydoe, also Eastern in origin, penetrates the glans on one side. Traditionally, both sides were pierced; some piercers have more than two holes pierced. The jewelry is usually similar to the barbell used for ampallangs. The dydoe enhances the female’s pleasure and is reputed to increase sensitivity in circumcised men, much like a foreskin.

  Apadravya: The apadravya was described in The Kama Sutra as a device either secured to the lingam (i.e., penis) and used to excite a woman’s yoni (i.e., vagina) during intercourse, rather like a rococo French tickler. It is also the name of a device inserted through a piercing to the penis for the same exciting purpose. [The modern apadravya runs from the underside to the front of the glans.]

  In the hole made in the lingama man may put Apadravyas of various forms, such as the “round,” the “round on one side,” the “wooden mortar,” the “flower,” the “armlet,” the “bone of the heron,” the “goad of the elephant,” the “collection of eight balls,” the “lock of hair,” the “place where four roads meet,” and other things named according to their forms and means of using them. All these Apadravyas should be rough on the outside according to their requirements.3

  Frenum: In this piercing a ring encircles the penis shaft under the glans and penetrates the frenum (the loose flap of skin immediately below the glans). The encircling band is fitted snugly and may keep the glans engorged. If a large enough device is locked through a frenum piercing, intercourse is rendered impossible. This piercing is European in origin, and its alleged purpose was to ensure male chastity. Modern frenum piercings, however, are obtained primarily to enhance male arousal.

  Foreskin: In ancient Rome actors and musicians pierced two sides of their foreskins and inserted a fibula, a ring or clasp. Sources conflict as to whether this was chiefly believed to be a means of preserving one’s voice or was used as a safeguard against charges of adultery. Since castration was a Roman penalty for adultery, infibulation would seem the lesser evil. Infibulation to enforce chastity among slaves was also known in ancient Rome. And in ancient Greece athletes tied their foreskins shut, though the reason for this is unknown.

  Modern uncircumcised males may opt for a single piercing of the foreskin or an infibulation. In the first, a ring is inserted on only one side of the foreskin.

  Hafada: The hafada is a piercing through the skin of the scrotum on one side. It has Arabian origins and was traditionally performed at puberty to mark a boy’s passage into manhood. Its symbolic purpose was to ensure that the testicles would never retract into the groin. French Foreign Legionnaires stationed in North Africa are credited with introducing the hafada to Europe.

  Guiche: The guiche is a piercing of the ridge of flesh between the testicles and the anus. This practice derives from a Samoan puberty rite. Its erotic possibilities have made it very popular among contemporary piercing enthusiasts.

  The guiche is used a great deal in playing and pulling. If you have a chain on it, it’s almost like a dog collar.

  —LOGGER V.

  Much rarer is a guiche-like piercing on women, between vagina and anus.

  FEMALE GENITALIA

  Labia: In this piercing, a ring is inserted through the edge of one of the outer labia (considerably rarer, but known, are piercings to the inner labia). Some enthusiasts opt for multiple piercings of one outer lip or even of both.

  I got my outer labia pierced with two rings in each side. I went into it planning to just get one in each side. [But, afterwards], I thought, I’m not done yet; I want a couple more. I knew exactly where I wanted them. I was very aware of how much it was going to hurt. All the nerve endings were standing up and jumping around. It was like a rite of passage. I felt like I had gotten through something that I hadn’t even known I needed to get through.

  —CASSANDRA

  As with male infibulation, female infibulation was a type of adhesion used to enforce chastity. It was practiced in East Africa among the Somali and the Galla, as well as among some Arab tribes. In some cases the labia were sewn together and then were incised upon marriage to restore the opening. These practices survive among some Africans and Asians.

  Clitoris: This is perhaps the rarest and most difficult erotic piercing because the clitoris contains so many nerve endings. A small stud or ring through the clitoris separates the labia, slightly exposing the organ. The pain of a clitoral piercing and the vastly heightened sensitivity which results make it attractive to women who enjoy very intense stimulation.

  Usually when I mention that to a woman, she crosses her legs and says, “Ooooh! That hurts!” Well, yes and no. It is very sensitive but also very sensual. Some clients were very excited, especially by the play of the ring.

  —LOGGER V.

  Clitoral Hood: The clitoral hood (also known as a nun’s hood) is the tag of protective flesh immediately above the clitoris. This piercing is gaining popularity, particularly in the lesbian community. It is both decorative and erotic.

  [The] ring [is usually] a half inch in diameter with a little ball at the bottom. When the ring falls, [the ball drops] and hits the clitoris. I have [been told by] women that it is marvelous when they walk.

  —LOGGER V.

  SCARIFICATION, CUTTING, AND BRANDING

  Scarification (making cuts or scars, usually with a knife) and cutting are ancient practices with both aesthetic and ritualistic meaning. Across Africa and in Oceania, cutting was used to create ornamental patterns of keloid tissue (distinct, raised scars). In some African tribes scarring was part of a rite of passage or denoted a woman’s social or marital status. Among the Bala of Zaire, men often refused intercourse with women who lacked decorative cicatrices.

  Contemporary women are more likely than men to opt for these primitivistic modifications.

  Branding and cutting arc popular among young women. From years of research, I know that in other cultures women were initiated more by cuttings and scarification and branding than men were. Piercing rituals seem to be usually more male-oriented rites of passage.

  —FAKIR MUSAFAR

  Cutting is gaining currency among lesbian D&Sers both for its erotic potential and for its ritual aspects.

  Scarification techniques range from superficial scratches to deeper cuts made with a sterile scalpel. Many enthusiasts appreciate the tactile nature of scars and enjoy feeling the pattern in the dark. Some also elect to have tattoo ink rubbed into the wounds, particularly Caucasians, who are less likely to form keloid tissue than are darker-skinned peoples.

  I have a cutting on my back. It’s a double outline of a heart, and inside of it is a rose. That was done with a surgical scalpel—they just cut the first couple of layers of your skin. They don’t go deep at all. Mine didn’t scar.

  —JEAN L.

  The process of getting (and giving) a cutting requires tremendous focus and e
ndurance.

  I love the power of sitting still in a relaxed state. Your body can’t be tense when you’re getting a cutting, because if your muscle is tense, it’s easy to cut deep [or] to make a ragged cut. The flesh has to be relaxed. So the discipline of sitting still and being absolutely relaxed while pain is happening, while someone is cutting you is arousing.

  —LAURA ANTONIO

  Branding is a form of cautery and was once a symbol of criminality or enslavement. Some African-American Greek fraternities and sororities have adopted the practice as a rite of passage.

  Traditionally, the black brothers get their first brands on their left bicep because that’s the one closest to their hearts, but it’s not uncommon for members to get five or six brands on different parts of their bodies, including the buttocks, legs, and chest.… Even a few sororities branded women as part of the [hazing] ritual, sometimes on the inner thigh.

  —HANK NUWER4

  Branding is now gaining popularity among young people of all races. The scar is highly tactile and the designs used are often unique and personally symbolic. Body modifiers use a thin piece of metal which is heated and quickly and precisely pressed to the recipient’s skin. The sensation is extremely intense, and the ritual requires profound concentration.

  Since the brand, when healed, normally expands to two or three times its initial size, expert branders use a very narrow branding iron; repeated strikes are used to shape creative patterns. Perhaps the most famous fictional account of branding occurs in Story of O when the heroine is branded to symbolize her ownership by the sadistic Sir Stephen.