Take Me As I Am

by JM Dragon

  “Are you two going to settle down anytime or are you going to drift indefinitely?” Daisy asked, stifling a yawn.

  “We have settled down, Daisy. We share a house by the river and we both have a family home to go to when we travel to New York.” Jo noticed Daisy’s scowl.

  The old woman looked toward Thea who was engrossed in conversation with Lucy and John-Henry. “Thea’s a good woman and she needs to settle before it’s too late.”

  Jo looked at the woman and quirked her eyebrows as she waited for Daisy to say more. When she didn’t she asked, “As in settle, being married and having a family?”

  “Well, she certainly can’t find anyone if she’s constantly moving from place to place with you.”

  “Maybe she doesn’t mind traveling with me. Her priorities may have changed since she left Danvers. Not everyone wants the shackle of marriage and babies.”

  “Thea deserves a family life, Joanna. Didn’t you go close to the line on that issue a year or so ago?”

  The mention of her failed engagement to Lee Weston brought things starkly into focus. She was drifting with Thea toward a romance, never taking the final step. She couldn’t deny that when they were together, other people faded into the background becoming important only on a secondary level. She was probably too shit scared to take the chance and lose Thea again.

  “I did for a short time, but it didn’t work out. I guess I’m one of those people who are not destined to have the so-called happy family routine. Thea has had her moments, Daisy. I don’t think I’m the stumbling block to her finding a man if she wants a man,” Jo added in a whisper. Jo knew men didn’t figure in what Thea classed as being romantically happy. Did Daisy know that?

  “Maybe what you always thought of as a normal family life can be different if you meet the right person.”

  Jo listened to the older woman’s softly spoken words that also held a note of tenderness. It was an aspect of Daisy that she suspected only Thea experienced. Daisy was usually quite caustic in her everyday dealings with most people. As she glanced up from her vigil with her warming half empty glass of beer, she saw Daisy wasn’t looking in her direction but toward Thea. That would be right on the button. She didn’t expect Daisy to be tender with her.

  As if she knew what was being said, Thea turned toward them with a bright smile.

  “Don’t leave it too late to tell her, is all I’m saying,” Daisy remarked.

  Tell her, tell her what? Jo shook her head. No, she can’t mean that, can she?

  “How would it be if we called it a night, Joanna, and meet up for brunch tomorrow before we all go our separate ways?” Thea asked.

  “Good idea. I’m beat, too,” Daisy replied. “I could sleep for a week.”

  Jo stared closely at the four of them. They did look beat and tomorrow she would find out exactly what had happened. For now, they all needed sleep. Not that she was going to go just yet. It was only one a.m., and Pete had promised a trip to one of the underground nightclubs he knew in the city. Anyway, the adrenaline rush from the performance hadn’t yet completed its journey through her body and going to bed now was not an option.

  “Pete, want to get Thea and our friends a taxi to take them to the hotel.”

  “Sure, Jo.” Pete grinned and pulled out his cell.

  When they left the restaurant, Jo took Thea aside for a few moments as the others climbed into the car. She placed a gentle finger on the bruise on Thea’s pale face. “Are you okay? If you want me to come back to the hotel now, I will.” The concern she felt for her friend vied with her need to rid herself of the energy racing through her body.

  “Joanna, I’m fine. I just need a decent night’s sleep, that’s all. Please don’t stay up partying all morning or you won’t make brunch at eleven in the hotel restaurant. If you’re not there, I’ll be shaking you in your bed.”

  Thea’s gentle smile surrounded Jo with a calming feeling. She took a step away from Thea and thrust her hands in her jean pockets. “Duly warned. Sleep well, Thea.” She watched Thea climb into the taxi before the car glided away from the sidewalk and she continued watching until it was totally out of sight.

  A large hand settled on her shoulder. “Ready, boss?”

  “Yeah. Did Thea tell you anything about her adventures today?” Jo asked absently as she walked quietly toward the minivan that was going to take them all to the nightclub.

  “Nope. Now, come on, Jo. Time is a-wasting and I have a new band for you to listen to this evening.”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Thea sank down on her bed. The crisp clean linen complimented the shower she’d quickly indulged in before sleep dragged her to bed. Her head was aching and she now really wished she hadn’t drunk three glasses of wine because the medication wouldn’t work properly. With that thought floating in her mind, she laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. Someone surely must be looking out for her because it had been a close call today.

  Joanna was going to be livid at her incompetence and probably wouldn’t let her out on her own again. Despite her throbbing head, she giggled at the thought. The thing that kept nagging at her was their growing closeness and what that was doing to her. Joanna was so cagey about her emotions, so it was like pulling teeth. She recalled the first time Joanna had said she loved her before promptly falling asleep on her. Thea rolled her eyes. Was this going to be all that ever happened between them? Innuendo. Her thoughts pulled and pushed her into a sleep heavily laden with confusing dreams.

  †

  Jo watched the band Pete had recommended, mixing blues and soul with an underground beat that was hard at first to follow, but gradually, as she listened, the music made more sense to her. The band was not mainstream and hardly likely to become famous out there in today’s music world. Maybe tomorrow.

  “What do you think?” Pete dragged a chair across the floor and sat opposite her, hiding the tiny stage from her view.

  Drinking heavily from the bottle of beer that she’d nursed for more than an hour, Jo knew her mind wasn’t on the band. There were other more pressing matters than unwinding after the concert. “Okay, I guess.”

  “Want someone to talk to? You look preoccupied.”

  Jo shook her head. His idea of someone to talk to was a free male in any of the places they frequented. The choices he made for her didn’t match hers in any way, shape, or form. Especially now.

  “Nope.” She yawned passing a hand across her face wearily. “I think I’ll call it a day, Pete. Things to do in the morning and if I don’t turn up on time, Thea will go psycho on me.”

  A loud rumble of laughter echoed around them as Pete laughed.

  “I said something funny?”

  “No, Jo. Well, sure, maybe. Thea wouldn’t know how to be a psycho. You on the other hand—”

  “Oh, I’m the type, huh? Never knew there was one.” Jo stood and waved the server close so she could pay her meager bill. The tip was more than the drink she’d still hadn’t finished.

  “Jo, tomorrow—”

  Curious at the change in Pete’s tone, Jo refocused her attention on him. “Tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, what time are you planning on leaving?”

  Certain he was going to say something else, Jo gave him a shrewd glance. “Not sure, maybe around three. All depends on the flight back to the coast. Thea will know. Check with her in the morning.”

  Pete smiled slowly before nodding. “Want me to get you a cab?”

  “No, I’ll take my chances out there. Anyway, I noticed a taxi stand a couple of hundred yards up the street. See you tomorrow.” Jo left the small club and walked out into the early morning sidewalk.

  As she strolled toward the area of the taxis, she looked up at the sky. It was a midnight blue sprinkled with tiny stars twinkling high above, welcoming her under its night blanket. Lyrics buzzed in her head as she stood gazing up at the heavens. A small breeze pushed her hair across her forehead and after attempting to brush it away several times, she
left it to the elements. Her eyes then looked down the virtually deserted road. Except for the odd taxi, there was little or no activity. Few lights shone from the apartment buildings that lined the street she traveled. As she came closer to a waiting taxi, her mind wandered. Maybe if she were lucky, Thea would have waited up for her. Yeah, right. Talk about selfish.

  She opened the door of the taxi and climbed inside quickly advising the driver of her hotel. As it sped off into the night, she wondered if that wasn’t her problem, full stop. Selfishness. Maybe Daisy was right. Thea needed a family life and she’d done nothing but take her away from it all. How could she be so inconsiderate? Tomorrow when they went home, they’d have a good old-fashioned one-on-one girl talk. Who knew what might happen after that. All she knew for sure was that she never wanted Thea to be anywhere but beside her. Selfishness be damned.

  †

  Lucy sat patiently in the hotel restaurant alone. Daisy had muttered that she needed a little more time and would be there eventually, John-Henry sounded half asleep when she called his room telling him that she’d be along shortly. The many years working the early shift in the café allowed her precious little time to indulge that luxury called sleeping in.

  “Hi there, Luce, where’s everyone else?” Jo, with a warm smile on her face, sat down next to her friend.

  “Daisy and John-Henry sounded as if they were sleeping in. Can’t blame them. It was a long day yesterday. I expected Thea would be with you.” Lucy smiled at her young friend. She’d come a long way since their morning chats in the café when the singer had eaten her brunch there every morning.

  “Thea’s not here?” Jo’s heartbeat rose fractionally, that wasn’t like her. She pushed her chair back and stood. “Excuse me, I need to call Thea.”

  “Just a minute,” Lucy said.

  Jo turned and walked away when she literally collided with Thea. “Where’s the fire?”

  Thea, glancing up at Jo flushed. “You’ll never believe this...I slept late.”

  Jo chuckled before grinning at her friend. “You did have a long exciting day yesterday, didn’t you?”

  Lucy watched her two friends and wondered if either of them knew the intense chemistry they were giving off.

  “What do you mean?” Thea’s body language screamed defensiveness with a touch of worry.

  “Our friends, remember?” Jo placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Let’s eat. I know you’re never up to a decent conversation until you’ve blessed the hollow pit with its sacrifice of the day.”

  “Oh, Joanna.” Thea smiled and relaxed visibly.

  “Another latecomer, I see.” Lucy grinned. “My, my, Thea, you’ve changed. I remember you were always the early bird. Funnily enough, I was thinking the very same about Jo.”

  “How?” they replied in unison.

  “Sit down first and let’s order at least coffee. And tea for you, Thea.” Lucy tapped her forehead. “I remember.”

  Fifteen minutes and several gossipy stories later, Daisy and John-Henry arrived together having met up in the elevator area of the floor they all shared.

  †

  Jo looked at her watch. “It’s now one p.m. and I hope no one minds, but I’ve taken the liberty of ordering a bottle of champagne to toast the future.” She motioned for the server to bring the glasses and the magnum of champagne.

  “This is...well, it’s decadent,” Lucy said readily, holding up her champagne flute.

  “Of course it is, and when you do this kind of thing once in a while, it’s wonderful, especially when you share it with good friends.” Jo settled back in her chair, sipping on her drink.

  “Joanna, you asked me how I received the bruise on my face.” Thea gingerly touched the black and blue abrasion.

  Jo immediately sat upright. “I did, are you ready to tell me now?”

  Nodding slowly, Thea drew in a deep breath. She anxiously looked at their friends hoping that Joanna wouldn’t cause a scene. There was a distinct possibility that she would. “Promise me that you won’t get angry?”

  “How can I promise that, Thea? I don’t even know what the problem was, and now I’m getting antsy waiting.”

  “Steady there, Jo, girl, Thea knows what a temper you have. We all do. Let her tell you what happened.” John-Henry reached out cautiously and touched her arm.

  Jo’s jaw twitched and she crossed her arms. Silence ensued until the sound of a chair scraping back signaled that Jo was rising. She scowled. “Enjoy your drink,” she said before storming off.

  Thea watched helplessly as her friend left. What did I do?

  “Well, that went well.” Daisy gulped down the remaining contents of her champagne and coughed. “Damn bubbles.”

  “Thea, why is it such a problem for you to tell her about the accident?” Lucy asked. “You should have told her last night.”

  Thea could feel tears welling in eyes.

  John-Henry stood. “I’ll go talk with her and tell her what happened, Thea. You’re probably still in shock.”

  “No. No, John-Henry. Thank you, all the same. I’ll go talk with her. Lucy was right, I should have told her last night. I don’t know why I didn’t.” Thea’s tone was plaintive. “Drink the rest of the champagne. Joanna and I will be back shortly.” Thea stood and while she walked away, she listened to their conversation.

  “Young love, you never know what’s going to happen next.” Daisy calmly took a sip of her drink.

  “What?” John-Henry said.

  Lucy chuckled and placed a hand on his. “We’ll explain.”

  Thea’s eyes flew open. “They know? How?”

  †

  Jo didn’t want to go to her room as it would be too claustrophobic. Her thoughts were tumbling around in her head, unable to make sense of why Thea was being so cagey about her day. It didn’t make sense unless there was something nefarious about it. But then surely the others were involved. The pool area outside of the hotel was empty as she had expected. She was sitting in a recliner, looking at the water rippling from the wind floating across the surface, without a jacket and only a skimpy t-shirt as protection against the whipping wind. The low temperature was taking a back seat to her emotional overload. Thea’s reluctance to tell her something, which obviously must be terrible, begged the question of what kind of friendship did they have.

  “Joanna?”

  Thea’s voice gently beseeched her to look in her direction and when she looked at her, she saw fear etched in Thea’s face.

  “Please, Joanna, I’m sorry.”

  “For what? You have every right to your own life and don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Thea. I should be apologizing for being selfish.” Jo shook her head.

  “I should have told you immediately. I want to apolo—”

  Jo held up her hand and stood to face Thea. “It’s your life. What you do in your time away from me isn’t my business. I forget you need your own space and…I’m sorry for being a jerk, especially in public.” Jo moved until they were within an inch of one another.

  A slow smile replaced the pensive expression on Thea’s face as she reached out a hand to touch Joanna’s chin. “I didn’t want to spoil your performance by my stupidity of yesterday. That’s why I’ve been reticent. After that I just figured it wasn’t that important.”

  “Please tell me what happened and if you let me, I’ll be the judge of your so called stupidity.”

  Thea sucked in a deep breath and related the story of her incident with a car. “Stupid, right?”

  Jo, wanting to laugh, pursed her lips. It was a serious event and she held her mirth inside. “I’d say more klutzy, wouldn’t you?”

  “Are you calling me a klutz?” Thea grinned.

  “Do you have a better word for it?” Jo reached out, pulled Thea close, and rested her chin lightly on Thea’s head. “Does it hurt?”

  “Not as much as yesterday. Thank you for asking.”

  “That’s a given…asking about you, that is. I always
want to do that, Thea.”

  “Yeah?” Thea moved and Jo lifted her chin and they looked at one another.

  “Yes, if you will let me,” Jo softly said.

  “If you will let me reciprocate.” Thea was blinking rapidly.

  Jo smiled and bent her head closer and drifted her lips over Thea’s mouth. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Thea shivered.

  “Are you cold?” The raw biting wind whipping through her t-shirt didn’t feel that cold with Thea this close.

  “A little. I think you and I really need to discuss what’s happening between us. Our friends are still here, and as much as I want to just be with you, it would be impolite to abandon them.” Thea placed her hand in Joanna’s wrapping their fingers together. “Let’s see them off and we can talk… or….” Thea grinned before dragging Joanna toward the hotel.

  “I like the sound of the ‘or’.” Jo shivered and looked down.

  “Me, too.” Thea smiled a seductive smile.

  †

  Thea hugged her arms around herself as she watched the limousine depart, taking her friends to the airport. Joanna, pulled away to a conference call from the studio, couldn’t make it to their departure. As the vehicle disappeared, she ventured back inside the hotel deciding to go back to her room and wait for Joanna to call.

  After getting out of the elevator, she walked slowly down the hallway sucking in the silence. A few moments later, she entered her room, placed her pocket book on the table, and smiled as she soaked up the opulence of the place. The small hotel rooms, including the bridal suite of the Danvers motel paled in comparison to the furnishings she was looking at.

  She moved to the plush sofa, sank into its depths, and sighed before her thoughts began traversing the past couple of hours. When they returned to the others, strange looks, especially from John-Henry greeted them. As usual, Joanna didn’t seem to notice anything amiss and began an easy conversation with an abject apology. It was agony and ecstasy to sit next to Joanna and not hold her hand or touch her. Their fleeting kiss had changed everything but she wondered if Joanna realized that.