The Junior (College Years Book 3)

by Monica Murphy

  Ha.

  Eli and Ava are the first to leave, and we don’t give them any grief for bailing early. We know what they’re up to.

  A few minutes after they leave, Diego and Jocelyn have to go. They have a sitter with Gigi and need to get home. Once they’re gone, the guys go inside to play video games for old times’ sake—no joke—leaving me, Hayden and Ellie outside, still sipping on melted margaritas and giggling because we’re buzzing a little bit.

  “Should I make more?” Hayden asks, holding up her mostly empty glass.

  “Uh uh.” I shake my head. “We have to go to work tomorrow morning.”

  “How’s that going anyway?” Ellie asks.

  “I love my class,” I say, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside when I think of that rambunctious group of mostly seven-year-olds I teach every day. “They’re a handful, but for the most part, they’re so sweet. And really smart too.”

  They’re also exhausting, but I’m starting to get used to it. Being with Caleb is exhausting too, but in a good way. As in, he’s keeping me satisfied every night.

  The sex hasn’t slowed down. If anything, it’s completely ramped up, which still surprises me.

  Who knew it could be like this?

  “I don’t know,” Hayden says, surprising both of us. We turn to look at her.

  “What do you mean, you don’t know?” I ask.

  “I thought I wanted to teach kindergarten, but I’m not sure if I’m cut out for it.” She shrugs, her expression turning miserable. “They’re so damn needy.”

  I burst out laughing. I blame the alcohol. “Of course they are. They’re little! Practically babies still.”

  “Yeah, I thought they would be sweet and lovable and want hugs all of the time, which some of them do, don’t get me wrong. But they can get whiny. They’re so easily distracted. They’re smart little boogers, but they’d rather go outside and play,” Hayden explains.

  “I don’t blame them,” I tell her.

  “What are you going to do?” Ellie asks, concern lacing her voice.

  “I’ll finish out the school year, of course. I’m no quitter. But I might reconsider teaching kindergarten or first grade. I’m envious of Gracie’s third grade class,” she says, glancing over at me.

  “Young enough to be adorable, old enough to be fairly independent,” I add.

  “That makes sense,” Ellie says, glancing from Hayden to me. “And what’s going on with you and Caleb, hmm?”

  Oh. I can actually feel my cheeks turn warm, and that’s kind of embarrassing. Why does it make me blush when anyone asks me about him? It’s silly. “Nothing much,” I croak, clearing my throat the moment I get the words out.

  Hayden and Ellie laugh at me while I glare at them.

  So rude.

  “They’re together,” Hayden tells Ellie. “Though I’m sure you figured that out, with the way he stares at her as if she’s the best thing he’s ever seen.”

  “That’s not true,” I immediately protest.

  Hayden shakes her head. “It’s so true. He looks at you like you’re a big, juicy steak and he can’t wait to take a bite.”

  “It’s true,” Ellie confirms. “I noticed it at dinner earlier. Every time you spoke, he watched you with hearts in his eyes.”

  “It’s really cute,” Hayden adds.

  I cover my face with my hands, mortified, though I shouldn’t be, considering they’re my friends and I appreciate their honesty. But it’s so weird to think Caleb is completely enamored of me. I mean, I know he is. We are totally into each other; it’s a mutual thing. But most of the time we feel lost in our own little world, not worrying about what anyone else thinks. We’re all so busy that we don’t see our friends too often. This is the first time we’ve had a get-together in a while.

  “You thinking about bailing yet?” Ellie asks.

  She’s got my number because we would have long, deep talks last year about relationships, before she and Jackson got together. She would share her woes over that oblivious jackass, while I would share my woes over the various jackasses I was dating. She used to tell me I just hadn’t found the right guy for me yet, and she was probably right.

  But is Caleb that guy?

  He feels like he could be. The possibility is there.

  “Not yet,” I say, and she smiles.

  “He’s your lobster,” Ellie says, making me frown. “It’s a Friends’ reference. I watched it a lot while we were on tour.”

  “What are you even talking about?” I watch Friends sometimes, but not consistently enough to get the reference.

  “Lobsters mate for life. When they find their ‘one,’ they stick together forever. Maybe that’s you and Caleb,” Ellie explains.

  “Does that mean Tony is my lobster?” Hayden asks, sounding hopeful. When Ellie nods, she smiles. “That’s so cute.”

  A flare of panic lights up my chest and crawls up my throat. I smile through it, blinking over and over again, the words ‘mate for life’ running through my head on repeat.

  Is that what I want? Caleb and me, always and forever?

  I never gave it any real serious thought. I was always living in the moment, enjoying him. And us. Together.

  Being in a committed relationship is a big step for me—and him. We don’t do that sort of thing, and everyone knows that. That we chose each other and continue to see each other is a huge deal.

  What if it doesn’t work out? I live with him, and the lease isn’t up until June. That’s a long way out. Everything could fall apart and I’d be stuck having to share an apartment with the guy. The very guy who’s had his mouth on every part of me. Who held my hand when I went to the emergency room. The man who took me camping on the beach and shared a part of himself that not too many people ever get to see.

  I think of that version of Caleb that I see all the time now, and my panic dissipates. I sink into the chair, taking deep breaths, hoping no one notices me.

  But wouldn’t you know, my friends totally notice me coming down after a minor anxiety attack.

  “Are you okay?” Ellie asks, leaning across the table toward me.

  I wave a hand, trying to smile. “I’m fine.”

  I don’t sound fine. My voice squeaks and I’m breaking out in a sweat, despite the cool breeze currently blowing outside.

  “Are you freaking out right now?” Hayden asks, her voice loud.

  I shush her, making Ellie giggle. “The lobster comment got me,” I admit.

  Ellie frowns. “You didn’t like it?”

  “More like it scared me. Caleb and I…” How do I put this without sounding awful? Would it actually sound awful? I don’t mean anything behind it. I’m just going to state facts. “We’re just living in the moment, you know? Yes, we’re together. Yes, we really like each other. Are we in love?”

  “Probably,” Ellie says.

  “Yes,” Hayden replies at the same time.

  I slowly shake my head. “I don’t know about that. I’ve never been in love before, and it’s kind of scary, if I’m being honest. Can I imagine being with him forever? When I try, I see nothing. Plus, there are a few things going against him.”

  Ellie frowns. “Like what?”

  “His player reputation, for one.” Girls throw themselves at him after games. I’ve witnessed it. He claims they don’t tempt him, but how long will that last? Eventually he will get bored of me. I’ll probably get bored with him too. It’s just the nature of the beast.

  And we’re the same beast. I think this is why we’re so drawn to each other. We’re a lot alike.

  “You have a bit of a player reputation as well,” Hayden reminds me. “Yet you seem perfectly content with him.”

  “For now,” I tack on, frowning. “I worry about his age. He’s two years younger than me.”

  “So? Tony and I make it work,” Hayden says.

  “Tony knows what he wants. What’s expected of him. Caleb is kind of lost in the future career department,” I say.

 
“He’s still young,” Ellie says. “He’ll figure it out.”

  “Eventually. While I’m over here, already throwing myself into my career.” I was always told in school that girls mature faster than boys, and overall, it’s true. Nothing against dudes, but they can be really immature. Caleb is extremely immature a lot of the time. All that boyish charm is part of his appeal. And while he knows when to step up and take care of me when I need it, he also knows how to hold back and let me lead.

  Which is nice. Refreshing. I’ve been with a lot of macho assholes. Caleb has macho asshole tendencies, but he’s also a sweetheart.

  “Our timelines don’t match,” is what I finally realize. “Next year, he’s a senior and still living it up. His last year of glory as a football player, of being a student. While I’ll be working my first, real job, not knowing where I’ll be. I could end up leaving the area.”

  “Are you planning on finding a job somewhere else?” Ellie asks.

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “I planned on applying everywhere I could think of and see what happens.”

  My friends are quiet, ruminating over my words, and I ruminate too. That was always part of the plan. Student teach here, then eventually end up somewhere else. I could go back home to the Bay Area, but it’s so freakin’ expensive over there. I’d probably barely make rent, let alone be able to afford anything else. And I don’t like the idea of having a bunch of roommates after this year.

  I want to live on my own. Be my own person. Do my own thing. Feel like an actual, capable adult. In a year, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing, while Caleb is still in college. How can we make that work?

  I don’t know if it’s possible. Maybe I’m looking for every excuse to end this before shit gets hard, I’m not sure…

  “Have you told Caleb that?” Hayden asks.

  I slowly shake my head. “Will we even be together by the time I’m trying to find a job?”

  Ellie’s eyes go wide. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying anything’s possible. I could end up with him for a little while longer, but who knows? We’re eventually going to get bored with each other. I know us. And that’s okay. It’ll be fun while it lasts.” Ellie and Hayden’s faces turned panicked, their eyes going wide, their mouths popping open. I stare at them, wondering what kind of secret message they’re trying to tell me when I realize…

  Caleb is standing directly behind me. I can smell the faint scent of his cologne, feel the warmth of his body radiating toward me. He must’ve slipped outside when I was talking, and I didn’t hear him.

  He settles his hand on my shoulder, giving it the briefest squeeze before he asks, “Ready to go?”

  I close my eyes for the briefest moment, my heart sinking. How much did he hear? How bad is the damage?

  My eyes open to find my friends watching me with openly sympathetic expressions. I don’t need to glance up at Caleb to know he’s either mad, hurt or both.

  I chance a glance upwards to find it’s all of the above. He looks crushed.

  Furious.

  Crap.

  Twenty-Seven

  Caleb

  The entire drive back to our apartment, her words keep ringing in my head, over and over. The tone of her voice, how nonchalant she sounded. Just another night gossiping with her friends about our so-called relationship. She made it—us—sound downright unimportant.

  Meaningless.

  We’re eventually going to get bored with each other. I know us. And that’s okay. It’ll be fun while it lasts.

  If I could, I’d punch the steering wheel right now, but I restrain myself. I don’t want to give away exactly how much I heard her say. I tell myself it was nothing. Just Gracie talking to her friends, saying something I’m sure I wasn’t meant to hear.

  The problem? I heard it. I heard enough to know that her attitude is, ha, ha, let’s just see how far this goes before we’re finished, and that just…

  Fuck that hurts.

  She dozes in the passenger seat, which is infuriating. She’s not even worried over what I could’ve possibly heard, which means she’s actually okay with me knowing that she doesn’t see a future for us. That hurts even worse.

  Hey, I’m not one who’s big on thinking long term. I never have been. But Gracie has completely changed my life. Not like I can admit that I’m totally in love with her, because I’m not. But I’m definitely falling.

  At least, I think I am. Considering I have no previous experience in the love department, I’m floundering over here.

  Fuck.

  And I was having such a good night too. All of my friends reunited, back together, just like the old days. Ava and Eli all over each other, the look of pure joy on that dude’s face at having his girl by his side, I could feel that. Hanging out with Jackson, playing video games like we used to, yelling and cussing each other out. Listening to his stories about being on the road, and how much he loves it, even when it’s intimidating. How glad he is that he has Ellie with him, and how much she grounds him.

  I felt that last statement down to my soul. It’s what Gracie does to me. She grounds me. She reminds me of who I am, and I thought she saw the possibilities of who I could be. She makes me feel like I have potential. I figured with Gracie by my side I could do anything. Conquer any challenge. Find happiness. Feel content.

  Nope. I was wrong. Sounds like she’s planning on finding a job elsewhere. She’ll move on and I’ll still be here. She’ll have a career and a new life, living in a new place with new friends and probably new men because, come on, look at her.

  While I’ll be stuck here, wrapping up my last year in college, playing football for one last season before I turn in my jersey and become a dried-up has been.

  Fuck my life. Seriously.

  I whip my car into the complex lot and pull into my usual parking spot, shutting off the engine at the same time I say way too loudly, “Hey.”

  She startles, sitting up straight, her head swiveling in my direction, her sleepy gaze finding mine. “Hey.”

  “We’re home,” I practically bite out, sounding like a bitter asshole.

  “Okay.” She climbs out of the car without another word and I follow her along the sidewalk. Then wait for her as she unlocks the front door. There’s no one in the living room, which isn’t a surprise. Eli and Ava are probably going at it like rabbits right now, having all that reunited sex they need to fit in before she hops on a flight and takes her ass back down to San Diego.

  Women. Always trying to move on from us.

  I don’t get it.

  Once we’re inside, I follow Gracie to her room. Shove the door closed behind her before I sweep her into my arms and kiss her. It’s brutal. Possessive, and she responds to it completely, her tongue battling with mine, a low moan sounding in her throat.

  Ridiculous, but wouldn’t you know it, my dick gets hard at the first taste of her sweet lips, and that sexy way she rubs against me.

  My hands are everywhere, trying to take off her shirt, her shorts. She helps, shedding the shirt, revealing she wasn’t wearing a bra and I immediately rest my hands over her tits, squeezing and kneading her flesh. She whimpers against my lips and I thrust my tongue deep to shut her up.

  I’m mad, but I’m desperate to fuck her. Maybe she’ll realize that what we have isn’t so bad, and she’ll want to stick around. That I’m not just some dumb fuck who doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life.

  There’s more to me than meets the eye, and I thought she knew this, but maybe not.

  She pushes me so I land on the edge of the bed, my legs spread, my breathing accelerated. I watch as she falls on her knees in front of me, reaching for the waistband of my athletic shorts and tugging. I left my hips and she pulls them off along with my boxers, my dick popping up, always ready and eager to play.

  Especially with her.

  A smile curls her lips, her gaze finding mine as she reaches for me, drawing my cock into her mouth. She sucks on just the head, her
eyes falling closed as she throws herself into the act like she always does. As if she enjoys it. Like she craves the taste of my dick, which I sort of think she does. I know I’m always wanting to lap at that pretty pussy of hers, so I get it. We’re addicted.

  One of us more than the other.

  I try to stay impassive, as if I’m observing her from afar. Try to see if she’s just pretending to enjoy sucking my dick, when all along I believed she was totally into me, but it proves difficult. Soon lost to the suction of her mouth. Her fluttering tongue and her hands cradling my balls.

  Leaning back, I rest my hands on the mattress behind me, lifting my hips in a restrained rhythm as I fuck her mouth. She lets me, taking it. She always takes it. Always acts like she enjoys it too and I groan when she releases me from her mouth to slide her tongue down my shaft, just before she licks my balls.

  I have a real thing for women using their mouth on my balls and she knows it. She plays it up. Just like I also have a real thing for ass play and she lets me play with her ass whenever I want. We give each other so much, and not just sexually either.

  So why can’t she see? Why is she so blind?

  I banish the worrisome thoughts from my head and concentrate on how good her mouth feels on my cock. She wraps her lips around the head once more, sucking so tight her cheeks hollow out and I groan, that familiar tingling starting at the base of my spine.

  “I’m gonna come,” I warn her and she releases my cock from her mouth, her tongue out, her fingers around me as she puts on a show for me and smacks my dick against her tongue again and again.

  So fucking hot. The woman just knows what to do to twist me up.

  “Do it,” she whispers, racing her lips up and down my shaft. “Come for me, Caleb.”