The Junior (College Years Book 3)

by Monica Murphy

  She squeezes the base of my cock extra tight, her lips back on the tip before she dips her head down, taking me all the way in. I give in to my urges and move my hips, fucking her face in earnest now, and she breaks away at the last second so I can see that first spurt of semen hit her right at the corner of her mouth so that it drips down her face.

  I’m a sucker for a visual. The groan that leaves me is loud enough for our neighbors to hear.

  Fuck it.

  I come for what feels like an eternity and she laps most of it up while I shudder beneath her. I’m barely recovering when she leaps to her feet, stripping the remnants of her clothes while I get rid of my T-shirt and kick off my shorts and boxers.

  Then she’s on me, her mouth finding mine, her hands gripping my shoulders while she rubs her body all over me. I get the feeling she’s trying to make up for something. Probably that shitty remark. She feels guilty and she thinks she can buy my happiness with an extra messy blow job and a quick, hot fuck.

  Turns out I’m easily bought, because this shit is working.

  We don’t say anything, when normally, we do. I flip her over so she’s on her back. I race my mouth all over her chest. Suck her nipples. Kissing the underside of her tits. Slip my fingers between her legs to find her drenched, her clit swollen, a little whimper coming from her when I pinch it.

  She even likes a little pain sometimes. This girl is up for anything. It’s why I believed she was so perfect for me.

  I shift so I’m over her once more, my face in hers, my hand braced above her head on the mattress while I guide my cock close to her pussy with the other. I’m already hard again. Aching. I drag the head back and forth through her wet folds, and she arches against me, her eyes closed, her lips parted as she moans. I lick her throat, nip at her jaw. Her chin. All the while slipping inside of her. Just the head at first.

  Then deeper.

  Until I’m fully inside her snug heat, my cock throbbing. The first orgasm out of the way means I’ll go slower. Be more patient. Not so eager to get to that tipping point. Taking a deep breath, I do my best to gain control of myself and I start to move, a slow drag out of that hot pussy, before I push back inside. She loves it when I do this. The slow in and out makes her wild and I can see it’s already working. There’s a rosy flush to her chest, her tits. Her neck and face. She cracks her eyes open to find I’m already watching her and her voice is throaty as she says, “Feels so good.”

  Too fucking good, is what I want to say in response, but I don’t. I don’t say anything at all.

  Instead, I fuck the shit out of her with grim determination. Methodical thrusts in and out of her body. I touch her clit. Tease it. Stroke it. She spreads her legs wider, curling one around my hip, her heel digging into my ass as she urges me deeper. I start to pump harder, careful not to lose control, but not holding back with my thrusts either. There is nothing gentle about this moment. I’m fucking her like a beast, like an animal using his mate, not concerned with tender feelings.

  I’m just taking. Fucking. And she’s taking, fucking me right back.

  Her nails claw at my back as she clings to me, incoherent sounds falling from her lips, as if she doesn’t know how to speak English. I rut into her, grunting with every push, my second orgasm looming just on the horizon. It’s too soon, I think, wanting to prolong this, but she presses her face into my neck, sinking her teeth into my throat and making me yell.

  Then it’s on. I’m moving so fast, my balls slap against her ass, our skin sticky with sweat. I fuck and fuck, can feel her growing closer, can sense it. I know her tells, the way those shuddery moans emanate from her. How she reaches for me, reaches in between us, her fingers finding her clit to stroke. I bat her hand away and take over, flicking her clit right as I take her mouth in a brutal kiss.

  She comes with a gasp, her pussy clenching around my shaft over and over again, milking the orgasm right out of me. I fill her up with cum, realizing a moment too late that I don’t have a condom on and we just fucked raw.

  No wonder it felt so damn good.

  I collapse on top of her, winded. My heart racing. She curves her arms around my neck, her fingers in my hair, her mouth on my cheek as she delivers tender kisses. Like she might care for me or some such bullshit.

  “My God, that was…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, and I don’t bother supplying any words for her either. We remain quiet, the only sound our rapid breathing, my heartbeat pounding in my ears, roaring in my head.

  “That was amazing,” she whispers, tugging on the ends of my hair so I have no choice but to pull away some so I can stare down at her. Her gaze is searching and I try my hardest to keep my expression neutral. But I know without a doubt she realizes I’m upset. “What got into you just now?”

  Can’t tell her the truth. That I’m trying to prove to her it’s good between us no matter what. Even when I’m mad at her. Even when she’s already considering the end for us. That we’re connected, though she tries to fight it. I don’t want to fight it.

  I’m all in.

  I wish she could see that.

  Twenty-Eight

  Gracie

  Something changed the night Caleb overheard me giving our relationship an end date. And I’m not just referring to the frenzied sex we had that night either, though I cannot lie, it had been totally hot. He fucked me like he meant it, and in the heat of it all, we forgot to use a condom.

  Thank God I’m on the pill. He probably could’ve impregnated me that night, he was so intent on proving something to me.

  No, there’s been a shift in the relationship. In his entire personality. He’s a little colder. Not as sweet and open. He wants to hang out. He talks to me, asks how my day was, but it always seems to be a lead up to sex. As if that’s all he wants from me.

  And then he eventually falls asleep, exhausted because the man is just going, going, going all day long and of course he’s going to lapse into a coma after an intense orgasm.

  Here’s the worst part of it all: since that night, we haven’t talked about it. Never. Not once. I don’t bring up him overhearing my conversation with the girls, and he doesn’t bring it up either. Which totally sucks, because what a pair of little babies we are, running from our feelings.

  But if he’s a baby, then I am too because I’m not about to be the one who brings it up first.

  My meaningless words fucked up what we have. I self-sabotage. I always have. How many guys have I been with in the past? A lot. Many of them were trash. Or just not the guy for me.

  Some of them were nice. Solid. Kind and thoughtful and totally into me. They lavished me with attention and I drank it up like the not-so-secret attention whore that I am. Eventually, I’d get bored. How many times can a guy tell me I’m beautiful? I’d find a way to prove to him that I wasn’t so great after all. I’d shatter the illusion, and then move on.

  I was so, so good at that.

  Now I’m terrified Caleb is going to move on from me first. And that’s another fault of mine. I was always the one who’d run first. Who’d break hearts first. It’s better to break than to be broken, am I right?

  God, I’m fucked. I’m well and truly fucked.

  It’s only been a week since that night. The football team has an away game this weekend, and they left earlier today to head to Las Vegas, where they’re playing UNLV. My apartment is empty. Lonely. I could sit at home alone and pout over Caleb, but where’s the fun in that?

  There’s a knock at my door and I rush toward it, throwing it open to find Ellie and Hayden standing there. Ellie is carrying a bag full of takeout and Hayden has a tote bag that I know for a fact includes her blender and all the things she needs to make her margaritas.

  “I’ve never been happier to see someone in my life.” My gaze goes from Ellie to Hayden. “Two someones.”

  They smile and hold up their bags. “Let us in!”

  I hold the door open and Hayden goes immediately to work on her drinks while Ellie pulls all the co
ntainers out of the bag and I grab plates and silverware. She brought Chinese takeout from one of our favorite places, and the fragrant smell fills the kitchen, making me hungry.

  And I haven’t been that hungry this week. Too upset over what Caleb might’ve heard. Worried about our impending doom. For the first time, I regret setting those wheels into motion. I’m not ready to end this.

  Not even close.

  “Gracie! Are you—are you crying?” Ellie yells at me over the whirring of the blender, sounding confused.

  I blink, my vision blurry. Something slides down my face and I swipe at it.

  A tear.

  Shit.

  I am crying.

  The blender shuts off. Ellie abandons the takeout containers and I’m being surrounded by my friends, their arms coming around my waist from either side as they rest their heads on my shoulders.

  “What’s wrong?” Hayden asks. She sounds scared.

  “I-I don’t know.” A sob escapes me and I slap my hand over my mouth, trying to contain it.

  But it’s no use. I am full-fledged crying, with tears pouring down my face and sobs wracking my body. I bend over, my hands braced on the kitchen counter and I stare at the floor, my vision swimming with unshed tears. My friends release their hold on me, though they remain at my side, Hayden running her hand up and down my back slowly.

  “You’re scaring me,” Ellie finally says, her voice small.

  “Tell us what’s wrong,” Hayden urges.

  I swallow hard, my throat impossibly dry, though I guess all the moisture in my body is currently falling from my eyes so that makes sense. I tilt my head back and swipe at my eyes, gratefully taking the tissue Ellie offers me. I wipe my face and sniff, trying to find composure, but it’s so damn difficult.

  “You never cry,” Ellie says, sounding distressed. “Like, ever, Gracie.”

  “It’s true,” Hayden adds. “I’ve known you a long time. You’re not big on tears, my friend.”

  I look at my friends, my head swiveling from Ellie to Hayden. “I think I broke Caleb’s heart.”

  Ellie frowns. “What do you mean?”

  But Hayden…understanding lights up her eyes. “That night at my place? When he overheard you say it won’t last much longer between you two?”

  Nodding, I close my eyes for the briefest moment, my face crumpling like I can’t control myself. “He’s been so distant since that night. Like he threw up a wall I can’t climb over no matter how hard I try.”

  “Have you talked to him about it?” Ellie asks gently.

  I open my eyes and scoff. “No. We’re both not saying anything at all like the classic avoiders we truly are.”

  A sigh escapes Hayden and she pats my back. “A simple conversation would fix this.”

  “A simple conversation would ruin everything,” I insist. “We’ve been…playing at having a relationship. Playing house. Playing friends, playing lovers. We don’t have the guts to stick it out and make it actually work.”

  “You really think Caleb couldn’t stick it out with you for the long term?”

  I think of how great he’s been since that camping trip at the beach. Even before that, he treated me with respect. Reverence. Like a friend, but so much more. We were having so much fun, until I had to go and say something so flippant, as if he doesn’t matter to me.

  Caleb matters. More than I want to admit.

  “I’m the one who can’t stick,” I practically wail. “I fuck it up every time. I messed this up. He’s mad because he heard what I said, and I hurt him. Though he’s never admitted it to me.”

  He doesn’t have to. I can see the hurt on his face. The distance that’s growing between us like a chasm, wider and wider, until we won’t be able to cross it anymore. It feels like we crested the mountain of this relationship we’ve entered and now we’re barreling downhill, heading straight for the bottom AKA the end.

  Oh my God I’m thinking in analogies or metaphors or whatever. I’m ridiculous.

  They console me with kind words and more tissues, eventually leaving me alone so they can finish their tasks. Ellie serves plates heaping with steaming hot Chinese food—chow mein and sweet and sour chicken and pork fried rice. My stomach growls despite my growing sadness and I settle in a chair, letting my friends serve me. Grateful that they came in my unknown time of need.

  Hayden brings us salt-rimmed glasses full of frothy margaritas accompanied by neon pink straws. I immediately start sucking down the alcohol, wincing at the overwhelming taste of tequila flooding my mouth.

  “You need it,” Hayden says as she watches me. “We’re going to have a hard conversation here in a minute.”

  My stomach bottoms out and to fill it, I start shoving forkfuls of food into my mouth. It tastes amazing. Funny how I’ve always been one who could stress and stress, but never lose my appetite. I suppose it’s a gift, or a curse.

  We eat and talk, me bracing myself for the verbal blow my friends are about to rain upon me. My thoughts are dramatic and over the top and I start to slow in my eating, the buzz of all that tequila a steady hum in my blood stream. Hayden and Ellie chat about nonsense and I interject here and there, but otherwise I’m not feeling it.

  All I can think about is him.

  Finally, Hayden sets her fork on her empty plate, sending a meaningful look in Ellie’s direction before she turns to look at me.

  “I have an observation,” she states.

  I frown. “What is it?”

  “You mentioned earlier that you think you broke Caleb’s heart, but that’s not the case. I believe you are the one who’s heartbroken,” she says, her voice gentle.

  I stare at her, blinking slowly. “No. That’s not possible.”

  Hayden frowns. “Why not?”

  “He’s the one who was always going to fall in love with me, not the other way around.” I don’t fall in love. Not really. I’m in love with the idea of love—chasing after it. That first rush. The first touch, glimpse, slow smile. The long stare, the laughter, the kiss. Touching. Teasing. Even sex, though that didn’t happen with every guy. I thrived on that high, and when it started to dissipate, I was out.

  I never stuck around long enough to actually fall in love. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to feel like.

  “Um, Gracie.” I turn to look at Ellie, who’s watching me with her dark, kind eyes, her lips curled up faintly in amusement. At me I guess, because I’m in full-blown denial? “I think Hayden’s right. You’re in love with Caleb.”

  I sit there, pondering their words, my thoughts coated in tequila. No way am I in love. Am I?

  I think of Caleb’s face and I smile.

  I think of the silly, sometimes crude things he says to me and I want to laugh.

  The way he touches me…sigh.

  The way he looks at me.

  Double sigh.

  The easy conversations between us, and the consuming way he kisses me. How his eyes lit up when I painted his jersey number on my cheek at that one game. How possessive he’s been in bed lately, as if he’s trying to prove a point.

  You belong to me. Those are the four words I think he is trying to convey every time he fucks me into oblivion, especially lately.

  A shiver steals over me, remembering the last time we were together. The intensity in his gaze. The purpose behind his touch. He’ll never come right out and say it though. I’m sure he’s afraid I’ll reject him completely.

  Realization dawns and I look up, staring at my friends in horror. “Oh God.”

  Ellie reaches for me, resting her hand over mine. “What is it?”

  “You’re right. You’re so right.” The tears threaten all over again and I clap my hands over my face, as if that will contain them. “I’m in love with Caleb.”

  My heart hurts with the knowledge as I cry all over again. As if I never did in the first place. Hayden and Ellie make sympathetic noises but otherwise let me cry it out. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever experienced in my li
fe. And worse?

  It hurts. It hurts so badly. I thought love was supposed to lift you up and fill you with light.

  Right now, I’m plunged into darkness and worried I’ll never be happy again. How can that be love? It’s so damn painful, it’s excruciating.

  “You need to tell him,” Ellie urges. “And soon.”

  “He’s gone,” I mumble into my palms, slowly shaking my head.

  “Let’s go see them,” Hayden suggests brightly.

  I drop my hands and stare at her in disbelief. “They’re in Las Vegas. We have to work tomorrow.”

  “We could drive over there. Once we get off work,” Hayden says.

  I slowly shake my head, my tears drying up, as if they’re intrigued by the idea. “That will take forever.”

  “We don’t have to drive,” Ellie says. “We could fly.”

  “That will cost way too much money,” I say, thinking of the cost of a last-minute ticket to Vegas.

  Ouch.

  “No, it won’t,” Ellie says, whipping out her phone. “Let me see what I can do.”

  She starts texting someone while we watch in silence. She’s tapping away at the screen, the notifications coming in one after the other, the whooshing noise of a text coming through, sounding again and again. She wiggles in her seat, the phone in her hands suddenly ringing and she gets up to answer the call, walking away from the table.

  “What is she up to?” I ask Hayden.

  She shrugs. “I don’t know, but listen to me, Gracie. I’ve known you a long time. I’ve seen you with other guys, and none of them meant as much to you as I can tell Caleb means right now. You guys have a real connection. It’s always been there, from the very start.”

  “Well, we’ve done it,” I say, sounding grouchy. “And now I think I’ve blown it.”

  “The problem is, you two are great at communicating with banter and arguing. I’m sure the sex between you two is explosive,” she says, and I wonder where she’s going with this.

  I say nothing though. Sex between us is beyond explosive. It’s freaking life-changing.