The Damn Fool

by George Eliot

He smiled and turned to the comic section, ending the conversation.

  They ate in silence. Toni was washing dishes when Zelda entered the kitchen and

  helped herself to a cup of coffee.

  "I need to talk with you guys," Zelda said. She sat across the table from Lance,

  who folded and put down the newspaper.

  He smiled. "We don't see much of you these days."

  "I know." She sipped the coffee, swallowed and continued. "That's what I need to

  talk with you about."

  Toni dried her hands. "I'll finish up later," she said.

  "No," Zelda responded, smiling faintly at Toni. "Please sit with us. This

  concerns you too."

  Toni reversed a kitchen chair, straddled the seat and leaned forward against the

  backrest as Zelda traced the rim of her cup with an index finger. "Lance," Zelda

  began hesitantly, "You're a super guy. I can't thank you enough for bailing me

  out in Florida." She glanced at Toni but refused eye contact. "Toni, I

  appreciate you allowing me into your home."

  "It's not my home," Toni objected. "I just work here."

  "Perhaps," Zelda continued, "but I think it is your home for as long as you want

  it to be." She gazed into Lance's eyes. "I wanted you back, you know. I tried

  every trick in the book, but you just are no longer available � not to me

  anyway."

  Toni shifted her weight as Zelda said, "Toni, I crawled into bed stark naked

  with this guy several nights. He pretended to sleep through all my caresses."

  Lance felt the blush on his face.

  "The thing is, I know I have no future here and I'm messing up things between

  the two of you. Buddy and I sat up all night talking. He dropped me off this

  morning about five so I could pack. He'll be back at nine to pick me up. I'm

  going to move in with him � permanently."

  "Zelda," Lance said. "You need to think about this carefully. You and Buddy live

  in two different worlds."

  "Don't move out on my account," Toni said icily.

  "Lance, I have thought about it. I've thought more seriously about this than any

  decision I've ever made � including the decision to marry you."

  Toni grasped Zelda's wrist, forcing the redhead to look at her. "Buddy Mabe is

  the best friend I can ever hope to have. You hurt him, Zelda, and I'll rip those

  silicone stuffed breasts right off your freckled chest."

  "Easy, ladies," Lance said with a gleam in his eye. "For your information, Toni,

  they're real."

  "Buddy is a grown man," Zelda said. "He knows what he's getting into. We've

  talked. I've shared things with him I have never told another soul and he's done

  the same with me." She studied Toni's face for a moment. "He told me why he

  became the town drunk."

  "That I don't believe," Toni said as her eyes narrowed into slits.

  "I thought that would get a rise out of you. I'm a blabbermouth, as Lance will

  confirm, but that is one story that is too sacred for me to ever repeat." Zelda

  finished her coffee and went to the pot to refill her cup.

  "Buddy and I have lived in different worlds, Lance, but, for the moment at

  least, our worlds have merged. When you get to the bottom line, our worlds are

  not that different. Buddy knows me and what I have been in the past. He has a

  vision of what I may become, but he also knows that vision is charged with

  risks."

  As Zelda sat down, Lance went to the coffeepot for a refill. "You say you intend

  the relationship to be permanent?"

  "Permanent in the sense that it will last as long as it lasts. I'm afraid I have

  an incurable case of wanderlust. Buddy knows that."

  Toni took her turn at the coffeepot. It was empty. As she prepared a fresh pot

  she said, "Buddy thinks of permanent as in 'to death do us part?'"

  Zelda nodded. "We haven't talked about marriage, but he thinks he can make me so

  happy I will never again want to wander."

  "And?" Lance said.

  "And I'm going to try, but I make no promises."

  "Zelda," Lance said. "You are a party animal � always have been and always will

  be."

  She nodded her agreement. "You ever been to a square-dance, Lance? Have you ever

  downed a few beers in a pool hall with the guys? You ever been on a wild

  motorcycle ride or to a professional wrestling match? It's a different kind of

  partying, but it's fun." She shook her head and chuckled. "I have so much to

  learn."

  "I'll wager you have nothing to learn about being a bed athlete," Toni said more

  sarcastically than she intended.

  "No. I know how to please a man and how to squeeze the last ounce of pleasure

  out of him for myself. What I don't know is how to cook, wash clothes, clean

  house and drive nails."

  "Drive nails?" Lance laughed.

  "Drive nails. I'm going to help Buddy with his work." She turned to Toni. "I'm

  going to help with the Christmas trees, too."

  "Zelda," Toni replied incredulously, "that's hard, physical labor."

  "Tell me about it," Zelda laughed. "He made me carry concrete blocks all day

  yesterday."

  "Looks like you survived," Lance observed.

  "I cheated. I spent more time resting than working. It's a funny thing, Lance.

  At the end of the day, I hadn't done much work really, but I felt so good."

  "I know the feeling," he said. "I experienced it when I helped with the

  restoration of this place."

  "Anyway, that's my story. I wonder if I may ask a favor?" Zelda said as she

  glanced at her watch. "I have everything packed. Will you help me lug the stuff

  to the front porch?"

  Buddy backed his pickup to the steps as Lance emerged on the porch with the last

  of Zelda's boxes. In spite of everyone's attempt at joviality, the loading of

  the pickup was awkward.

  Lance rested his hand on Toni's hip and pulled her close as they waved to the

  departing couple. "I may as well get on my way," he said.

  "May I ask where you're going?"

  "For one thing, I want to see the houses Buddy is building."

  Toni's face brightened. "I'll like to see that too. I'll go with you."

  Lance moved his hands to Toni's shoulders and turned her towards him. "Another

  time, Toni. There are other things I want to do today. You'd be bored."

  She scowled at him as she tried to push away. He resisted and pulled her closer,

  but her arms between them prevented a close embrace. He tried to kiss her, but

  she turned her cheek to his lips.

  "Toni," he pleaded. "Somehow things between us got screwed up. Can't we go back

  to the relationship that was building during our rowboat experience on the

  lake?"

  "Speaking of things getting screwed," she hissed as she pushed her elbows

  against his flat stomach, "you screwed her in Florida, didn't you?"

  "Toni, you heard what Zelda said at the kitchen table."

  "I'm talking about Florida. Something happened down there that made you bring

  her back here and gave her the hope of winning you back. Don't lie to me,

  Lance."

  He released her. "It's not a fair question. If I tell you I engaged in sex with

  her, you'll hate my guts. If I tell you the truth, you won't believe me."

  "Try me."

  "I did not sleep with her."

&
nbsp; "You're right. I don't believe you." She stomped into the house, slammed the

  door behind her and waited for him to follow. She heard his car engine roar to

  life and burst into tears.

  Toni sat at her computer for a long time, staring out the bay window. The first

  hint of fall was evident in the leaves of the poplar trees as random bursts of

  yellow and red waved in the gentle breeze. She sighed and snapped on her

  computer.

  When she accessed the Internet, the "ping" from the computer speaker called her

  attention to the envelope icon in the lower right corner of the screen. She

  moved the arrow over it, clicked the left mouse button and held her breath as

  she read the message from Susan Merritt.

  Dear Toni,

  Hold on to your chair. I have unbelievable news!

  The very day we posted your sample chapter, Bright Star Productions

  contacted us. They requested the complete manuscripts for seven novels,

  including yours. I should explain that Bright Star is a movie production

  company � not a book publisher. This morning they made an offer for the film

  rights toThe Damn Fool . The offer is for $500,000 plus a 1% royalty on all

  revenue from the film. You must split the money with a screenwriter, but

  we're still talking big bucks. Once the film is in production, we should

  have no problem finding a publisher. In fact, we'll offer the book rights in

  an auction and may realize an equal advance from a major publishing house.

  Without question, this will open the door for your future efforts.

  As your agent, may I enter into an agreement with Bright Star?

  Susan

  Toni clicked the "reply" button and quickly typed her one word reply:

 

  YES!!!

 

  Lance stopped at Flint's Grocery for directions and then drove around Pope

  Mountain � at least the part prepared for summer residences. The two houses

  Buddy was building were not far enough along to admire, but that wasn't his

  objective anyway. He studied the roads cut over the mountain and the surveyors'

  stakes that divided the land into approximately two-acre building lots. As he

  copiously entered observations into his notebook computer he glanced out the

  side window of the Taurus at the naked mountaintop boulders from which Hanging

  Rock got it's name and recalled seeing the same sight from the Danbury side of

  his farm.

  He drove back to Danbury, purchased a copy of the plat map of his farm from the

  Register of Deeds office, spent two hours with a Danbury attorney and another

  two with the owner of the Danbury Real Estate Company.

  His mind was bursting with ideas, but his heart was breaking. He needed time to

  think, but Toni was always in the study. Normally she did not distract him, but

  he knew she would today. He drove to the spring, Toni's favorite spot on the

  entire farm, and lay on the mossy bank until twilight sent him home.

  Toni was perched on the edge of a straight-backed chair in the ballroom when he

  entered the house.

  "Where have you been?" she asked with fury in her eyes.

  "I told you there were things I wanted to do today."

  "Your supper's in the kitchen," she said as she stood and headed for the door.

  "It's cold."

  "Where are you going?"

  "Out," she replied and she slammed the door behind her for the second time that

  day.

  The sale of my short stories didn't excite him, she thought, so this probably

  wouldn't impress him either, but, by God, I'm impressed and I'm going to

  celebrate. Buddy is no longer available, but his buddies are.

  She smiled at the pun, cranked her old Chevy and headed for the pool hall.

  While eating supper, Lance decided that in the future he would watch the time

  more carefully. The cold pork chops weren't too bad, but the mashed potatoes

  were horrible. Should have heated them in the microwave, he chastised himself as

  he carried a full bottle of beer to the study.

  There was only one email message waiting for him and he scanned it with little

  interest.

  Lance,

  With their permission, I hacked into Hickory Tree's mainframe. It took less

  than ten minutes. I sent them an email about it, but haven't heard back.

  Their new software is not secure, just like we warned them! See how long it

  takes you. The URL is www.HickoryTree.edu.

  Sean

 

  Lance shut down the computer and said aloud, "Sean, my friend. Have fun. I'm no

  longer a computer whiz kid."

  He tried watching television but nothing held his interest. I'm going to do it,

  he decided. As he mounted the stairs he thought, I can't do it. I'll never hear

  from her again.

  He stripped to his underwear, turned down the sheets and went to the bathroom.

  He stepped out of his shorts, lifted the lid of the dirty clothesbasket and

  smiled at the sight of Toni's shirt. He picked up the damp garment, pressed it

  to his face and deeply inhaled her aroma.

  What choice do I have? he asked himself as he brushed his teeth. It's the right

  thing to do. It'll put money in my pockets and give Toni the nice home she

  deserves.

  He turned off the bathroom light, then snapped it back on. He pulled Toni's

  perspiration soaked shirt from the clothesbasket, turned off the light in the

  bathroom and his bedroom, climbed naked between the sheets and snuggled close to

  Toni's intoxicating perfume.

  Toni knew she had reached her limit, but she ordered another draft anyway. Her

  eyes swept the crowded room and she smiled when she saw Molly Springfield

  finally taking a break from the dance floor. She joined Molly at a table near

  the back of the dimly lit, smoke filled pool hall.

  "Looks like you're not too broken up about it," Toni said.

  "About what?"

  "Lance's wife moving in with Buddy."

  "Now don't you go worrin' 'bout that," the heavyset woman replied. "Me and Buddy

  is just good friends. Besides, he'll be back in circulation 'fore long."

  "What makes you think that?"

  Molly laughed and shook her head, causing her hair to fall across her eyes.

  "Honey, you ain't near as smart as Buddy says you is. Buddy don't care much

  'bout that woman one way or tuther."

  "He sure has me fooled."

  "I reckon he does. He's beddin' that woman to git her outta da house so's you

  and Lance kin git back together."

  Chapter Ten

 

  Toni did not think she was intoxicated. She neither staggered when she walked

  nor slurred her speech when she talked, but Buddy's friends would not allow her

  to drive home. One drove her old Chevy and another trailed in a separate car.

  It was two o'clock in the morning and, although the alcohol she consumed filled

  her with a pleasant relaxed sensation, she was not ready to go to bed. With

  little thought she made her way to the study and booted her computer. The

  speaker sounded and the envelope icon appeared.

  She glanced at the empty chair in front of Lance's computer and tears puddled in

  the corners of her eyes. It was a night to celebrate. She
drank, danced, joked,

  played pool, and fed money to the pinball machine, but she told no one of her

  success. She wanted to share her news with Lance. She wanted to feel his arms

  around her and hear his words of congratulations and praise. I ought to go wake

  the jerk up and make him listen, she thought.

  She spotted the hardcopy of Susan's email and impulsively taped it to his

  computer monitor.

  She sank back into her chair, sighed, clicked on the envelope icon and was

  suddenly wide-awake.

  Dear Toni,

  Great news! Your idea works! The new IBM easily handles the registration

  program and, I am convinced, will rapidly process hundreds of simultaneous

  connections. There's more. You know Lance has worked long and hard to write

  a viable security program. None worked adequately on a mainframe, but the

  very first one he wrote works perfectly on the PC. It's complicated, but

  basically it works because there is only one file it needs to protect. My

  entire staff spent the day trying to break into the IBM. It simply cannot be

  done!

  There's even more good news. We can sell the machine along with Lance's

  program, make a nice profit, and still come in under the competition's

  price!

  Lance probably told you that Hickory Tree College has our competitor's

  software running on their mainframe. It took me less than ten minutes to

  break into it. Their security system does not work, just as Lance warned

  them.

  I have not forgotten that you told me not to let Lance know you asked me to

  investigate this possibility, and, if you insist, I will honor your request.

  But Toni, this is going to make Lance so happy. Please break the news to him

  yourself.

  Best regards,

  Sean

  Toni sprang from her chair and raced to the stairwell, leaving the computer on.

  She took the steps two at a time and flung open Lance's bedroom door.

  "Wake up, Lance," she cried.

  He did not stir.

  She snapped on the overhead light, but still he lay motionless in a fetal

  position, the covering sheet kicked to the bottom of the bed.

  "Oh, my God," she said quietly. "I didn't know you slept in the buff."

  His back was to the door, his sinewy buttocks beckoned to her. Slowly she

  approached the bed, feeling like a Peeping Tom, but she could not rip her eyes

  from his hard body.

  Carefully she sat on the edge of the bed and lightly, experimentally, touched

  his buttocks. Lance made a chewing sound, but continued to sleep. Even in his

  relaxed state, the muscles of his thighs and calves bulged and she gently

  pressed her fingertips against them.

  Then she spotted her shirt, partially hidden under his cheek, and her heart

  melted. Perhaps it was the alcohol or maybe months of bridled passion that urged

  her to react with uncharacteristic lack of reserve. She did not pause to analyze

  it. Her heart was pounding and it felt so right. Her breath came in short gasps.

  She quickly removed her clothes, hesitating only a moment to caress her own

  breasts, which seemed ready to burst from the constraining, milky white skin.

  She sat on the bed with legs curled under her and gently kissed his hip. He

  stirred. She kissed the small of his back and trailed the tip of her tongue up

  his spine to his neck.

  Toni pulled back quickly as he shivered and rolled onto his back. She smiled

  expectantly, but his eyes remained closed. She looked longingly at the familiar

  rippling muscles on his chest. Her heart was pumping superheated blood

  throughout her body as she slowly swept her eyes down his flat stomach. She

  teasingly played with the blond curls of his pubic hair as she bent and kissed

  first one and then the other of his dark brown nipples, surprised that they,

  like her own, grew taunt and hard. He moaned and opened his eyes, his expression

  reflecting bewilderment.

  She swung her right leg over his stomach and sat seductively on his pubic mound,

  her breasts swaying tantalizingly before his groggy turquoise eyes.

  "Oh, Toni," he moaned as his hands traveled up her stomach and cupped her full

  breasts, "are you sure you want to do this?"

  "What do you think?" she replied huskily as she slowly leaned forward, teasing