Always in Shadow: A Novella (Never Cry Werewolf)

by Heather Davis

  “Um...” I moved down the hallway because there was nowhere else to go.

  The van guy, Ivan, stood at the opposite end of the hallway. “Yes? May I help?”

  “Um... bathroom?” I stuttered. “I was looking for a bathroom? Water closet? Powder room?”

  He smiled. “English girl. Yes, I remember you.”

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  “Hello, again,” he said, reaching out toward me. I forced myself not to worry about my manicure and shook his hand. He didn’t make a face, so I guessed my nails weren’t too claw-like or anything.

  “You will find the toilet, please?” He pointed down the hallway I’d just come from.

  Of course all I wanted to do was get the heck out of there, I didn’t want to pretend to use the bathroom while he might notice a book missing from the library. “Uh, no. I don’t have to go anymore,” I fibbed, feeling super bad now that I was a liar and a thief. “Nice place you have here.”

  “Not as nice as old inn in the castle,” Ivan said, his tone a little sad. “The castle was more deluxe. Was nicer for our guests and my family.”

  “Sure.” I nodded. Now feeling his eyes on me, studying me, I felt warmth creeping into my cheeks. How had I not noticed his Ivan guy was kind of cute? Dark hair fell across his bright blue eyes and he had a nice smile.

  “Where you come from today?” Ivan asked.

  “Um... well, I’m staying with friends for Christmas.”

  “Yes, most holy evening tonight. All the town will celebrate at mass.”

  “Yeah, that’s what people do. Unless of course, you don’t celebrate Christmas, which in that case, you’d just like, eat dinner and watch TV or something,” I babbled.

  He looked confused. “You think I don’t celebrate Christmas?”

  “No, I – oh, never mind.” I gave him a smile and it must have been a good one, because he smiled back at me, a little sparkle in his eyes.

  “Do you need something?” he asked. “A tour of town, a recommendation for restaurant?”

  “Oh, no. I’m good.” I backed toward the door. I’d stayed way too long in this joint and really needed to get back to the shop. “Thank you, Ivan.”

  “Yes, thank you... what is your name again?”

  “Uh...” Crapola! What had Austin said the other day? Christine? Charmaine? “You can call me ‘C’,” I said. “It’s my nickname.”

  “Ah, short for Chelsea! Now I remember.”

  “Right, Chelsea!” I said a little too loudly. “I mean, you know, it’s kind of a boring name so it needs a nickname.”

  “Ok, C.”

  “Ok, Ivan.” I shuffled toward the inn’s door and swung it open. In front of me on the sidewalk stood Boris, looking really, really mad behind his dark glasses. Like, so mad, he might draw blood.

  “Got to go,” I shouted over my shoulder and then let myself be frog-marched to the awaiting SUV.

  Eva was in the backseat, looking sorry. “I tried,” she said. “He made me tell him where you went.”

  “It’s fine.” I didn’t tell her about the book because I didn’t want her to get into trouble, but I hugged my backpack to my chest the whole ride home. Now I had the the map, and a little piece of hope.

  Chapter Seven

  IT STARTED off as a silent night, holy night. Somewhere the bloodsuckers were sleeping off an afternoon blood binge – I’d seen the empty martini glasses in the lounge. Boris, of course, was not in a festive mood. He’d told Fuzz about my temporary escape, but luckily, they’d both believed my story that I was trying to find a shop that sold more of those sausages. It turns out a wolf’s hunger is never in doubt.

  I hadn’t seen Austin all day. My guess was he was down in the lab with Dr. Lyndon. Seeing I was bored, Monty, the tour manager, invited me to help him decorate the tree in the main hall. Not that anyone cared about having a Christmas tree, but he was going to shoot a video of Fuzz and the band wishing their fans a happy Christmas to build buzz for the New Year’s Eve concert.

  Of course, I was having trouble keeping from eating the popcorn I was supposed to be stringing for decorations. I’d already gone through two bowls and only had half a string to show for it.

  “Here,” Monty said, thrusting a box of colorful paper and ribbon at me. “Perhaps you’d enjoy wrapping your presents from town instead? We need some gifts under the tree. Try not to eat the paper, yeah?”

  “Okay.” I took the box upstairs, then grabbed my backpack from my room and headed to the library one floor up. I rolled out the wrapping paper one of the oak study tables, placing the sketchbook I’d bought in town earlier in the middle. A few folds and a lopsided bow later and it looked like a pretty good present for Austin.

  I wrapped the other things next: a gold handled hairbrush for Fuzz, a sparkly pair of earrings for Eva, a pair of small binoculars for Boris, a new spaetzle maker for Cook and candy for the band, though I wasn’t sure they’d eat it.

  And then... I took the book out from the backpack. Opening it again, I caught a hint of must. This book was definitely old. Just as I turned a page, I heard a voice.

  “You found it.” Eva bounded over from the door.

  “Geez!” I nearly fell over in my chair. “Quit sneaking up on me!”

  “Yes. It’s the same one I read in this very room years ago.” She sat down beside me and turned the page to the center map section. “Here,” she said, pointing. “It’s the waterfall.”

  “Shhh!” I said, nodding my head toward the open door.

  “Sorry.” Eva traced her finger over the route from the castle to the fountain. “It’s near the peak called Dumanic,” she said. “This hike would take a normal human about two hours. We could follow the trail in about half that time.”

  I studied the drawing. “What does it say here?” I asked her, pointing to the legend in the corner of the page.

  “He who drinks from this spring the night of the change never becomes the wolf.”

  “Perfect!”

  “What’s perfect?” Austin stood in the doorway of the library, an amused look on his face.

  “The presents, of course,” Eva said, winking while I shoved the book under the table and covered the gifts on the table with my arms.

  “You’re not supposed to see.” I gave Austin a smile and then got up from the table. “They’re for opening later.”

  “I have a gift for you, too,” he said, grinning as he dipped his head closer to me and kissed me. It was a warmer kiss than I’d had in days from him. Did that mean he was making progress in the lab? Was he feeling more optimistic about my hairy future?

  I pushed the questions from my mind. I’d take a million of those kisses from him. A trillion. He wrapped his arms around me, his hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer to him.

  “Ahem,” someone cleared his throat.

  We broke from the kiss. Boris loomed in the hallway, almost a dark cloud about him and his black clothing. “Go to your room.”

  Eva laughed. “The expression is ‘get a room,’” she snorted.

  “No, you must go to your room,” Boris said, glaring at me. “There was security breach. On computer.”

  Austin’s face contorted with worry. “What did you do? Did you tell someone where you were?”

  “Um... no. Oh, wait – I sent my dad a hello email,” I said quietly. “I was missing him yesterday.”

  Boris’s eyes darkened. “To your room,” he said.

  “Wait, let her get her presents,” Eva said, scooping everything into my backpack.

  “Yes, it is Christmas,” I said, sheepishly.

  “Bloody great Christmas,” Fuzz said, now standing behind Boris. “My drummer’s passed out in his coffin sleeping off a blood binge and now this.”

  Austin walked over and put his arm around me. “I’ll take Shelby to her room.”

  Boris marched ahead of us and grabbed my laptop off my desk. He tucked it under his arm and stalked out, giving me a look over his shoulder.

>   “My dear,” Fuzz said softly from the doorway, “you don’t realize how serious this is. If someone is monitoring your email, they might realize you’re here.”

  “I wanted to say hi to my dad.” I felt heat creeping into my cheeks.

  “If your father decided not to believe the ski holiday story and try to track you down, it could lead him, and whomever is watching him, here. The last thing we need is an international incident,” Fuzz said in a firm tone.

  “Now you sound like Monty,” Austin muttered.

  Fuzz ignored him. “My dear,” he continued, “we all need to be safe. You have to think of the others, not only yourself and what you want.”

  That stung. I sat down on the bed and hugged my knees to my chest. I didn’t want to be responsible for anything bad happening to anyone – I could barely keep myself out of trouble, let alone a pack of supernatural musicians.

  Austin pulled one of my hands free and lifted my palm to his lips. “Love,” he said. “it was only natural to want to contact your father. I know you miss him.”

  I chewed the inside of my lip, nodding. “Yeah, a little.” Actually, that was a lie – I missed him a lot. Not being with him, not being able to tell him the truth about what was happening to me, was really weighing on my mind. Even if Honeybun and Dad did make me mad at times, they were still my family.

  “Look,” Austin said, kissing me lightly. “Everything is going to be all right.”

  I wanted to believe him, but I remembered his conversation with Dr. Lyndon. He didn’t really think things would be all right – how could he?

  The book was my only way out. When the full moon hit on New Year’s Eve, I was following that map to the waterfall. I’d escape the curse the way Austin had escaped Camp Crescent. I’d save myself and save the pack a world of trouble in the process.

  ***

  I went downstairs that night to find the not-so-merry Christmas mood lingering. In the dining room of Castle Muldrazny, everyone seemed to know about the security breach. I was getting glares from vampires and werewolves alike.

  Finally, right before the plum pudding’s blaze dimmed, Austin slammed his hand down on the table. “That’s enough. I’m not having any more of it. She wanted to say hi to her father. Who wouldn’t feel a bit lost among this lot? It’s not like she’s been warmly welcomed, is it?”

  “Austin,” I whispered, “it’s okay.”

  “No, she’s right,” Monty said, hanging his head a little. “I apologize. I’m one of the only ordinary blokes at this table and I can’t imagine what you’re facing, what with the transformation and all. I quite like being normal.”

  A few of the band members growled.

  Fuzz lifted his glass. “Come now, let’s have a toast to the pack and our vampire friends.”

  Cook placed the plum pudding on the table before Fuzz. “Pack will do for everyone,” she said, her teeth gleaming against her red lipstick. “We are together with you wolves, after all.”

  “And don’t forget Shelby,” Eva said. “It’s certainly been more entertaining since she arrived.”

  Boris rolled his eyes. “Is not entertaining for me.”

  That elicited a few laughs and I managed a smile, sharing it around the table with even the ones who’d seemed annoyed with me earlier.

  “Now that’s more like it,” Fuzz said, leaning back in his chair and tapping his hands against his chest in a satisfied manner. “A proper happy Christmas. A shame about the pathetic tree, though.”

  Monty laughed. “The girl ate all the popcorn for the garlands.”

  “I have more cranberries,” Cook said, abandoning her dessert. “We will use them for the tree.” She lifted a glass to Boris, who reluctantly joined her salute, and then hustled off to the kitchen.

  “See, love,” Austin whispered in my ear. “The pack isn’t that bad.”

  Fuzz caught my eye, obviously having heard Austin’s comment. “Well?”

  “No, they’re not bad at all.” I glanced around at the smiling bandmates, toasting each other with glasses of wine or blood cocktails, depending on their preference. Eva was chatting with Monty about set lists and sharing a cookie with him. Doctor Lyndon had joined us at the table and was raising a glass of wine with Fuzz.

  From the stereo, the sounds of an old Bing Crosby Christmas tune filled the air and outside beyond the window, snow fell, making the rough peaks of Muldania soft and white. In a way, it was one of the better Christmas Eves I could remember. Better than nearly every Christmas since my dad had moved us to Beverly Hills.

  These creatures, strange as they were, were almost like a real family. Maybe more real than any other I’d witnessed in ages. Including my own.

  ***

  After the pack’s presents were opened around the Christmas tree, Austin led me upstairs to his room. “I told you I had something,” he said, smiling.

  “Hey! I didn’t think you were talking about something so private,” I replied as he closed the door. I was excited to be alone with Austin again. For the moment, he seemed like the boyfriend I knew – the Austin who wasn’t worried to death about his girlfriend going furry. He smiled at me and I felt my heart lift in my chest a little.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy,” he said, lowering his head toward mine.

  “Me, too,” I replied.

  He kissed me and there was a little friction from our teeth bumping. I pulled back and ran my tongue over my canines. They felt huge in my mouth.

  “Don’t worry,” Austin said. “They’re pretty on you.”

  “Right,” I said, moving to a wall mirror to check my smile out. “Ooh, I look dangerous.”

  “You are,” Austin said, wrapping an arm around my stomach and kissing my neck.

  I turned and his lips met mine. We shared another kiss that made me forget where I was, the terrible change I was facing. In that instant, I only knew the warmth of his mouth and the shelter of his arms.

  I made myself break away, gasping for air. “I... I’m not ready, you know.”

  Austin blushed. “It’s fine, Shelby. I didn’t think you–”

  “No, I mean, in the past I really rushed into things and really, not even with boys that cared about me, but this is different and I really don’t want to–”

  Austin covered my lips with his. Again, I drowned in that feeling of warmth and care and a wanting rising in my body. I leaned into him, drinking him in, absorbing the feeling. Finally, he was the one to pull back.

  “To go too fast,” I said, managing to finish my thought from before.

  “I didn’t bring you up here for that – although I wouldn’t say no,” he said, with a little twinkle in his eyes. “But seriously, I have a gift for you.”

  And then he went to his desk and pulled something out from a drawer. Beneath the wrapping paper, I found a framed drawing of a wolf. A beautiful brown wolf set against a snowy backdrop.

  “It’s pastels,” he said. “Not my normal medium, but I wanted to get the color just right.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s you. I’ve seen your wolf in my dreams. This is what she looks like.”

  The hair on the back of my neck stood up. “That’s me?”

  “That’s your wolf, yes.”

  I studied the picture closer. The wolves eyes were yellow-gold, her fur brown tipped with black in some places. Her ears were enormous. A chill traveled down my skin. I would be covered in fur. In one week I was going to be an animal.

  “You don’t like it?” Austin said, his eyes searching mine.

  “It’s really good,” I replied quietly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, nothing,” I said. “I’m should go to bed now.”

  “Hey!” Austin said, catching my arm as I passed him. “Happy Christmas,” he whispered, planting a kiss on my cheek softly.

  “Merry Christmas to you, too,” I murmured.

  I hurried down the hall to my bedroom, to the book, to figure out how I was going
to escape the castle and prevent this transformation. I didn’t want to be that wolf.

  I wanted to be me.

  Chapter Eight

  OVER THE next few nights, I tossed and turned. No matter how tightly I shut my eyes, the light seemed to find me. The moon worked its way in through the slats of the blinds of my room, beckoning. When I did sleep, I dreamed of running, propelling myself at impossible speeds, threading myself between trees and bushes and jumping across ravines. Always, my scope of vision was low to the ground and I could hear my breath coming in pants. It was as if the wolf was dreaming and I was but a passenger within her body as she moved through the landscape of the dream.

  “It’s natural, from what I hear about the process,” Dr. Lyndon said, when I told her about the dreams one morning. She undid the tubing tied around my arm and pressed a bit of cotton to my skin. “Hold this,” she said, placing my fingers on the bandage, then turning to put the blood sample on the machine behind her.

  “It’s not normal to dream as if you’re an animal. I was afraid my paws were twitching in my sleep,” I said with a sour laugh.

  “Don’t give up hope,” she said. “I’m getting closer. We’ll see how your blood reacts with this iteration of the serum.” She sat down at her desk and started scribbling notes.

  “I guess I can go now, then?” I said, sliding down from the table.

  She didn’t answer me, so I walked a little closer. On the desk she had a laptop open and a journal with yellowing pages. She was writing in a fresh notebook, transferring some data from the old one.

  “Wouldn’t it be easier to keep it all on computer?”

  She looked up. “Sorry, what?”

  “You could save a lot of time keeping things on a computer.”

  She closed her notebook. “I don’t trust that the notes would be secure.”

  “Oh, geez. Not you, too? I told them I wasn’t trying to breach security.”

  Confusion furrowed her brow. “No, I’m not talking about that. These notes are precious. We keep them locked in a vault. If my father’s work on the original serum was accessed, it would be very dangerous for the Bridges.”