Always in Shadow: A Novella (Never Cry Werewolf)

by Heather Davis

  “Your father...”

  Her eyes darkened. “Spent the last years of his life helping this family of wolves.”

  “The last years?”

  Dr. Lyndon’s shoulders stiffened. “He went missing in London a year ago. The police never solved the case.”

  “But you think you know what happened,” I said, finishing her thought.

  “Yes. There are forces that would do whatever it takes to rid the earth of species they don’t understand, even if that meant hurting an innocent man of science.”

  “Your dad, he could be alive, though, right?”

  “Theories get you nowhere without proof.” She stood up from her desk and walked me to the door of the lab.

  “What about hope? You tell me to hope about this new serum. Is that just something you say?”

  “No. I have hope we can develop a formula that works for you,” the doctor said, opening the sliding door and showing me out. “It’s far more likely than my father turning up.”

  “But don’t you think maybe there are other ways of things working out – other ways that aren’t scientific or sensical,” I said, the map coming to mind. “I mean, this is a curse, after all. It’s not all about science. Isn’t it also about magic and superstition?”

  “I’m a scientist, not a witch.” Dr. Lyndon gave me a sad smile. “Good night. I’ve work to do.”

  The door closed between us, her kind expression fading through the glass.

  That night, I kept turning the situation over in my mind. Dr. Lyndon’s father had disappeared, probably a victim of the Seven Horsemen, and now she was carrying on with his work. She took the threat from those hunters seriously, I was sure. I would too, if I’d lost a family member to them.

  At last I closed my eyes and surrendered to the moonlit darkness of my room. Soon, I was running again, racing after something this time. I was chasing something that was very fast moving and again my vision was low to the ground. What was the wolf after?

  At last, the wolf stopped, shivering in the blackness, and let out a mournful howl that came from deep within. I could feel the pain, the utter devastation this creature was expressing. Loss. Loneliness. And fear.

  “Shelby!” I heard Austin’s voice in my dream. “Shelby!”

  I was pinned in one place by the sheer agony of the wolf’s pain. I wanted to hold the wolf, to comfort it, to soothe this beast.

  “Shelby!” Austin’s voice rang in my head.

  “Get the doctor!” Now Fuzz’s voice echoed through the dream as well.

  My eyes slowly opened. I saw Fuzz and Austin standing above me but I didn’t know what was happening. It wasn’t until I looked down at my cold-reddened fingers and my bare legs that I realized I was outside laying in the snow. I struggled to sit up, feeling like my limbs weighed a million pounds.

  “We’ve got to get you inside now,” Austin said, his lips warm against my cheek as he lifted me up. Fuzz wrapped a coat around me.

  Overhead, the nearly full moon shone down, illuminating the field we were in. A long way off, I could see the castle lit up and the pack coming toward us with superhuman speed.

  “Love, you’re so cold,” Austin said, kissing my cheeks. “If you hadn’t howled, I wouldn’t have found you.”

  “The wolf,” I struggled to say, my teeth chattering. “She’s so sad.”

  Fuzz shook his head. “She knows she’s unwanted by you, my dear. And that is the saddest feeling of all.”

  ***

  “Hello, my Sleeping Beauty,” Boris said, walking into my room the next morning.

  Dr. Lyndon pulled the covers up around me, patting them smooth. “She needs to rest. Please don’t disturb her.”

  “Yes,” I managed to say. “Bad vampire.”

  At the foot of the bed, Austin gave Boris a weary look. “Please let Shelby sleep.”

  “Yes, she will sleep and I will watch her closely today,” Boris said. “Monty has given the order. Reporters come to tour castle today. There can be no escapes.”

  “Escape? You make it sound like I’m a prisoner,” I said. “Is it my fault my wolf wanted to take a walk last night?”

  “No wolf pups loose around the castle today,” Boris said, crossing his arms.

  “Well, could you do your watching from the hallway at least?” I asked, pulling the covers up to my neck. “I’m not sure I want a vampire staring at me while I sleep.”

  “True,” Austin said. “Could you please station yourself outside the door?”

  Boris gave him a grumpy look. “I cannot watch window exit from hallway.”

  “We’re three stories up,” I protested.

  Austin gave me a sympathetic smile. “That’s nothing for our kind.”

  “Right. Superhuman strength.” I pointed at the door. “Go on, Boris. I’m not going to jump from the window today, I promise you.”

  “She’s weakened, anyway,” Dr. Lyndon said, tucking the blankets tightly around me. “I doubt she’s be able to make that leap.”

  Boris lowered his eyebrows at me, but then followed Dr. Lyndon out the door, leaving me and Austin alone.

  “What happened to me last night? I still don’t understand.”

  Austin took my hand in his. “Remember what I told you back at Camp Crescent about my first change? It started with walks at night when I’d wake up in the garden in my pajamas. And then finally, one night, I woke to find myself in the wolf’s body, fully aware.”

  “Did it feel like a dream? You know, the wolf part, before you changed?”

  “My memory’s a bit blurry but I remember running, seeing things from a wolf’s vantage, being so warm.”

  “Yes, I was warm last night,” I murmured. “Even in the snow.”

  “The wolf wouldn’t let you freeze,” Austin said.

  “No, I don’t think she would.” I stared into his amber eyes, looking for a trace of his wolf. “Where was she going?”

  “Who knows. To hunt. To feed. To howl from a mountain peak.”

  I thought instantly of the stream I was seeking, of the waterfall that would cure me. Had the wolf been trying to find the path my human eyes had seen on the ancient map? Was the wolf trying to protect me from her true nature or serving me, her master?

  My wolf has sought many things I didn’t understand. I heard Austin say, but his mouth didn’t move.

  I stared at him. “Holy crapola! Did you just talk to me with your mind?”

  He nodded. Mates can do that. Now what’s this about the waterfall? Are you thinking about the old legend?

  “Um... what?”

  “Shelby,” he said, taking a seat on the bed beside me. “I saw the waterfall you were picturing. Why would the wolf be seeking that? Explain.”

  “It’s... it’s just something I saw in a dream,” I said. I felt horrible lying to Austin, but I didn’t want him to worry or to take my map away.

  His expression darkened. “Please do not chase after this fantasy! Don’t let your wolf chase after it, either. Eva’s story is a fairytale.”

  “Gah! It’s not okay for you to be reading my mind!” I said.

  Austin kissed me on the cheek. “Love, we’re bonded. When you change, it will be even easier. They say it’s quite helpful, actually.”

  I shielded my face from his face. “But could you not do it now? Let me have my brain to myself.”

  “Of course.” His cheeks colored a little. “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. But if you’re thinking about searching for some fabled cure, please don’t.”

  I didn’t answer, and I kept a tight lid on my thoughts.

  We heard noise from the first floor. Austin went to the window. “The press have arrived. Stay put,” he said.

  “I know,” I said, slumping back in the bed. “I’m going to rest.”

  “Good plan.” He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. “See you at dinner.”

  When the door closed, I fished the book from my backpack, turning to the map to the waterfall. My finge
rs traced the trail up the hill from the castle. Austin didn’t know I had a map to a place he thought was only of legend.

  He had a hard time believing in miracles, but I had nothing else to hold onto. Even my wolf understood that.

  ***

  Hours later, no one had called up to me that dinner was ready and I was starving. I creaked open my bedroom door, only to see Boris’s empty chair.

  I descended the sweeping staircase, hoping to get a whiff of food – but I smelled only the Christmas scents of cinnamon candles and the pine tree in the foyer. I hoped it wasn’t Cook’s night off because cereal for dinner was not going to quell the rising tide of hunger inside me. I really, really wanted some of those grilled sausages from the stand in town. My stomach growled in anticipation of the greasy, garlicky treats.

  “Hello?” No one answered, so I wandered into the kitchen.

  Dirty martini glasses and coffee mugs filled the sink. On the counter, there was a serving tray with a few cookie pieces and crumbs. I swept them into my mouth, but the sweet leftovers were not enough to satisfy me.

  Inside the giant stainless steel fridge, there were bags of blood organized on a plastic tray, obviously vamp cocktails for later. The spacious drawers held vegetables and an array of cheeses, but none of that would do it for me. Looking up, I spotted a metal tub on the top shelf. My mouth watered at the smell of raw steaks defrosting. I pulled the container out onto the counter and started looking for a pan. I’d just fry up a slab of meat for myself, since it looked like Cook had planned these for dinner tonight anyway.

  I put a large frying pan on the stove and turned a knob to high. There was a hiss of gas but no flame. The pilot light was out or something. I switched the knob off and checked around for some kind of switch with which to light the flame, but I didn’t see anything. I hunted around for matches, and kept an eye out for a George Foreman grill, a waffle iron, any kind of device that could cook the steaks, but there wasn’t even a microwave in this joint.

  Meanwhile, my nostrils flared at the aroma of the raw meat and my stomach groaned. I clutched my middle because my insides felt like they were tearing apart from the desire to eat. The search for matches fell to the wayside, and before I knew what was happening, I was biting into a raw steak. I ripped a piece off and chewed it quickly before swallowing it and going back for another mouthful. My stomach was goading me on, begging for more and more nourishment. The wolf was feeding. It was just like the night at Steinfelder Academy, when I had been sleep-eating, only this time I was fully conscious but could nothing to stop her.

  I heard voices and footsteps in the hallway, but I didn’t halt my eating. I didn’t care if the vampires saw me so messy and the Lycans would understand. I took another greedy bite from the steak. It wasn’t until the bright lights illuminated the kitchen around me that I stopped chewing.

  “Oh dear,” Fuzz said, hurrying to block me from a film crew. “It’ s only one of the kitchen helpers prepping for dinner.”

  “Let’s move out into the foyer near the tree for that sit-down portion of the interview,” Monty said quickly, wrapping his arm around a heavily made-up TV reporter standing near the photographer and steering her back toward the door.

  “No, wait!” the reporter said, breaking free. “I think this is rather interesting. What is she eating? Carlos, can you get a shot of that?”

  “That’ll be enough from the kitchen,” Austin said, blocking the camera lens with his hands. “Turn your devices off.”

  Carlos lowered his camera. “What’s with the bloody-faced girl?” A look of terrified curiosity crossed his face.

  I grabbed the nearest kitchen towel and wiped away the remains of my snack. “I, uh, needed a–”

  “Out,” Austin growled at the news team. “Now.”

  The reporter smiled uncomfortably and backed up toward the door. “Sure.”

  Suddenly Boris appeared out of nowhere. “Actually, you’ll need to leave the premises completely.” He held up a paper.

  “What do you mean?” A bead of sweat trickled down Carlos’s forehead as he stared at the vampire bodyguard.

  “There are some issues with your press credentials.” Boris moved closer to the reporter and put his arm around her. “I’ll need to inspect your equipment.”

  “But we were promised full access to the castle!” The reporter’s eyes flashed. “The network is waiting for this footage. We need to get back to the editing room.”

  “You’re not going anywhere,” Fuzz said.

  My first thought, hearing Fuzz’s steely declaration, was that the reporter and cameraman were going to be turned into werewolf food or vampire beverages. But, of course, the people in our pack didn’t attack ordinaries. In about ten seconds flat, though, Boris had crushed the camera in his bare hands. Five minutes later, the news van was screeching down the icy hill.

  I sat down at the table in the dining room and Austin handed me a glass of water with which to wash down my snack. “What was that all about?”

  “Aside from them filming you with blood dripping down your face?” Boris said, looking up from sweeping the camera parts into a dust bin.

  “They weren’t interested in the castle. They wanted dirt on us,” Austin said.

  “A couple of looky-loos if you ask me,” Fuzz said, sitting down at the table with his little dog Maxine on his lap. “They weren’t a bit interested in promoting the concert.”

  “The papers were forged,” Boris said, passing by the table. “The broadcast company does not know those people.”

  “And yet you let them in?” Monty piped up from a chair in the corner. He pulled the cold compress from his forehead in time to glare at Boris as he moved toward the kitchen door. “Bloody great security.”

  “I caught them,” Boris said over his shoulder.

  “You also let the girl out of your sight! Can you imagine if anyone had leaked that footage of Shelby devouring the raw meat? It’s no wonder I’ve got a migraine coming on,” Monty said.

  “There’s no footage to leak now,” Austin said, taking my hand.

  “It’s about more than the footage,” Monty said. “We don’t know who sent those two impostors. What if they were spies for the Seven Horsemen?”

  “We don’t know that, Monty. Boris has been very careful with our security measures,” Fuzz said.

  “Careful, my arse!”

  “Now, now. This was an aberration.”

  “The girl is an aberration,” Monty mumbled.

  “Did you forget we have supersonic hearing?” Austin said, slamming his hand on the table.

  “I just meant–”

  “You need to apologize! It’s not Shelby’s fault she’s stuck here with us, is it?”

  “Stop fighting,” I said. “I know my being here has messed everything up. There’s no reason for all of you to fight. I’m sorry I left my room, I just got so hungry I couldn’t stand it.”

  “We simply need you to stay out of sight, my dear,” Fuzz said, scratching at his dog Maxine’s ears. “The castle will be filled with outsiders for the concert on Friday. It’s paramount that you keep a low profile until it’s over. Will you stay out of sight? For me, for Austin?”

  I glanced at my werewolf boyfriend. His gaze was fixed on the table, his expression full of worry and anger.

  “Yes, I mean, of course I don’t want to put any of you in danger,” I said softly.

  Austin looked up. There wasn’t relief in his eyes – there was something like a suspicious resignation. He didn’t trust me. I didn’t trust me either, but there I was, nodding my consent.

  “I’m not going to come out into the castle unless you say it’s okay.” I tried to shield my thoughts, because of course, the waterfall was there at the back of my mind – a permanent solution to all of this anguish I was causing and the danger I had brought to the Bridges family.

  Austin lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my palm. “I need you to be safe,” he said. “If anything happened to you, I couldn’t
–”

  “Shh. Nothing’s going to happen to me,” I whispered.

  “Hey! What’s all the shouting?” Eva said, descending the stairs. “I need Shelby to come help me choose my outfit for the concert.”

  “Sounds great,” I mumbled.

  Austin gave my hand a last squeeze and then released it. “I’ll come see you later.”

  As I followed Eva, I heard Boris on the stairs behind me. “Really?” I said, and then we entered Eva’s room, slamming the door in Boris’s face.

  Chapter Nine

  AFTER ABOUT an hour of looking at dresses, my brain was nearly sparkling itself. Eva’s walk-in closet had been specially outfitted with lights that highlighted everything as if we were inside a store on Rodeo Drive. Eva flitted from rack to shelf and back to rack, pulling down gowns, mini-dresses, and matching shoes.

  I backed out of the explosion of glitter and lay down on the bed, watching her hold up dresses in front of the mirror and then cast them aside, one after the other.

  “It’s not so easy dressing for the stage,” Eva said. “I must be an ingenue and seasoned performer in one.”

  “True. You’re only, what, eighteen?”

  Eva turned from the mirror and gave me a toothy smile. “Actually, I’m much older than that. We age slowly after the change. You have that to look forward to.”

  I hid my face in the pillows. “How old are you? Do I even want to know?”

  Eva sat down next to me on the bed and pulled the pillows from my head, one by one. “I’m about twenty-nine in human years,” she said. “Estimating, of course.”

  “Why are you with the Bridges? I mean, where is your family?”

  Eva sighed. “My parents are both Lycan. My father was lost in Northern Canada on a hunt. We think perhaps a polar bear got him. My mother lives in Romania, about an hour from here. I never see her. She’s married now to an ordinary and pretends she doesn’t have the curse. He thinks her serum is insulin.”