Thank goodness we finished quickly, because the tug-of-war I was having started to bug me. I knew exactly what I needed to do for the presentation and I was confident I could get it done, and that’s what mattered.
Simultaneously we packed up our things. Nicole paused, holding one book in her hand above her backpack. “You know,” she started, “I can’t believe…how cool you are.”
I didn’t know quite how to react to that statement. Was I being cool? It seemed to me I was just doing my coursework. “Um, thanks, I think,” I said, totally confused by her remark.
“I mean, you know, with me and Graham,” she said sliding her book into her backpack.
This was perplexing. I was starting to get a bad feeling. Did she mean their shared history? I couldn’t think of anything eloquent to say. So I didn’t try. Instead I went the direct route. “What are you talking about?”
“We’ve been worried we’d run into you or something. But you seem fine.” She zipped up her backpack and stood waiting for me to respond, I presume. The room stopped. What the…?
“You’ve been worried you’d run into me recently?” I asked, starting to catch on.
“Yeah…” she responded slowly. I think she was beginning to understand why the coolness was gone from my voice. “You did know we’re together didn’t you?”
I sat back in my chair. Actually, collapsed into my chair is a better way to describe it. I opened my mouth to exclaim NO! But no words came out. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, and I just sat there staring at her. Was she kidding me? Was I really that stupid? Then I answered my own questions. Evidently, you idiot. He was with both of us.
During my silence she started to pale. She sat back down and dropped her backpack to the floor. She was getting it now.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t know? I’m so stupid,” she said.
If you think you’re stupid now, just wait. That was all I could think.
“We need to talk,” I said resting my hands flat on the table. I think I hoped it would steady me.
As I told her that her boyfriend was seeing both of us, the last dots of color drained from her face. I almost felt sorry for her. I guess I wasn’t as blindsided as she was. There was a vulnerability to her I didn’t expect. While I went straight to pissed-off, she just looked heartbroken. I was thinking of ways to kill him, and she was still stuck on “how can it be?” I wanted to shake her and tell her exactly what to do. But it wasn’t my place.
“Look, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. I can see you’re... Um, yeah. I’ll just go.” I picked up my bag and pushed my chair under the table. She still looked dazed as she stared at her feet. I had my own rage issues to deal with. I walked away.
I went home preoccupied with more Graham drama…again. If there was any question in my mind, it was gone now. It was so over. So over! Ordinarily, I would have either driven over to his place or picked up the phone. But this time something told me to sit tight and calm down. An opportunity to deal with him would present itself. It wasn’t like me to listen to any kind of inner reasoning, but I did.
I had some business to take care of, so I concentrated on that. First I called my landlord and gave notice. That felt really good. Then I opened my books and knocked out my Women’s studies project. Somehow, I had gotten away with a pretty small portion of it. Fine by me. I had this surge of energy that was surprising, considering. I wasn’t reduced to a pool of tears, but instead found myself plotting revenge. Thinking of mean things to do to him. What was up with me?
My stomach rumbled and I remembered that I hadn’t been to the grocery store in at least a week. I knew I had a few tortillas and black beans and I opened the refrigerator sure that I could find a way to make it into a meal. I did my best, resting my elbows on the kitchen counter as I bit into my version of a soft taco. My mind turned as I ate.
I leaned against the cabinets and looked around my kitchen and through the apartment. There were a few decent memories here. And some not so good. Part of me longed to hang on, but another, bigger part, knew it was time to let go. I walked out of the kitchen running my fingers along the wall. The green walls were still comforting. I passed through the living room, well on my way to the hall before my brain registered the blinking light on my answering machine. I hit play and listened.
“Hey Emily, I hope you don’t mind. I had your phone number from study group.” It was Nicole. This was strange. She’d never called before, not even about our study group. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but I can’t even think. I need some questions answered, and I don’t think I’ll get the truth from Graham.” She was right about that. She left her number.
I picked up the phone and held it for a minute. This was weird. Neither of us trusted we could even have a “real” conversation with Graham right now. And we were turning to each other, which was just plain out there. She answered the phone on the first ring. Her voice was nasal and tired. She’d been crying. I knew that instantly, and I barely knew her.
“It’s Emily,” I said, full of seriousness.
“Thanks for calling; I know it’s weird,” she said.
“Yeah, it is,” I didn’t feel like reassuring her.
“I’m sure you don’t feel like helping me out, but I just have to know a few things.”
Gosh, she sounded like me the spring before. And instead of being annoyed, I felt for her. I remembered what it was like. And although I couldn’t ignore the fact that I also had been lied to and cheated on, she was clearly the sorrier soul here. I felt my words go soft. “Yeah, I know. Ask away.”
She wondered how long we’d been seeing each other. I found out that the two of them had been carrying on since their first reunion on my birthday. Wasn’t that great news! He’d been playing both of us. I felt sick.
“What’s worse is that I asked him to escort me to the Women’s Executive Ball. I guess that’s out,” she said sounding frustrated and hurt.
“Wait a second,” I said. After the initial shock, I couldn’t help but think we might have an opportunity here. I had an idea. One that would satisfy the need for revenge I’d been feeling. “You should go with him.”
“What?” she said, jolted, I’m sure.
“I know you don’t think so, but we have the upper hand here. He doesn’t know we know, Nicole.” I could feel the wheels turning in my head. I was concocting an evil plan, and I felt some satisfaction in it. If I was going to get back at him, this was my chance. He’d be sorry for messing with me. Or us, that is. I went on. “I know what to do. I’ll drop some hints about the Ball next time I talk to him. You know what he’ll do. He’ll squirm because you’ve already invited him.” I felt my plot gathering speed. One that made me feel a little sick, but exhilarated at the same time. “I’ll mention how I would love to go, but I have to work.” Then I continued. “Then I’ll show up with someone else.” She didn’t comment. “Your part is the hardest, I know. Can you do it?” I didn’t wait for her to answer. “All you have to do is get him there. Nicole. I’ll do the rest.”
She was quiet for a few dozen seconds. I waited rather than pushing her by asking, ‘you still there?’
“You know? As much as I’m hurt by all of this, I feel like I have to do something. He can’t just get away with treating us like this.” She was quiet again for a few seconds. “Yeah, I’m in,” she finally said. Quiet but firm.
I felt just a twinge of regret. I knew this wasn’t completely in character for me, but somehow I didn’t want to give it up. I felt the need to explain. “I don’t make a habit of conspiring against people, Nicole. But I agree. There has to be some sort of restitution. Shouldn’t he learn a lesson?”
“Yes,” she said sounding a little less sad and a little angrier. She was almost where I was. Metaphorically, that is.
The next thing I did was call Colin.
TWENTY-FOUR
Avoidance and Preparations
We talked again the next day. It was all set.
And he deserved it. I stuck my tongue out in the air, as if I were pointing it in his direction.
I didn’t see Graham at school, which made it a little easier, but when I ran home to change before work the phone rang. It was him.
“So, when can we get together?” he asked.
“You know I want to, but I’ve got this huge project going at work and I can’t get away.
“Really? Even this weekend?”
“Yeah, even this weekend.” I forced my voice to sound disappointed. “I’m sorry. I’m sure once this project’s finished I’ll have more free time.” Which was true.
“I hope so. It’s just an internship. They shouldn’t be slaving you like this,” he said. I shrugged to myself. Just another confirmation that he didn’t understand how important my work was to me. But, then again, I was lying about the big project. It wasn’t keeping me.
“Well, I can’t get out of it.” Then I went in for the kill. “The bummer thing is I’ll miss the big Women’s Executive Ball this weekend.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked.
“Yeah. And I’m sure the professor wants all of us to attend.”
“It’s not required, is it?”
He was following the breadcrumbs I was leaving. “No, not required, but suggested,” I answered.
“Well, like you said, your internship is more important,” he said.
Huh! I thought. Supportive when it suited him. But I said, “yeah.” I wasn’t sure if it was the conversation I’d had with my grandmother, or the confirmation that he was a lying cheat. Either way, something had changed. As if I’d snapped back into myself. Just the day before I’d been so taken with him as he kissed and held me. But now, I didn’t feel him pull on my heart as he had. It was gone, and the realization made it much easier to continue with my plan.
***
When I arrived at work, I passed Colin and a group of colleagues at one of the open office meeting areas. He looked up and nodded in my direction with a smile. It had only been a few days, but somehow he looked more handsome than I remembered. And I actually did remember how great he looked in a suit. Then it dawned on me. What was I going to wear? The only ball-worthy dress I had, Colin had already seen me in. I couldn’t really afford to buy another. What to do? I shelved that dilemma for a while. I had a busy day ahead of me at the office.
It was tough to concentrate between my thoughts of Graham destruction and glances from Colin. But I managed. Before I left for the day I called Trish.
“Hey, can I come by?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll be unpacking at the new place. Our new place,” she added.
“Great, I’ll be by in an hour.”
“Everything OK?” she asked. “You’re still moving in, right?” I heard panic in her voice.
“Oh, yeah. Totally. I’ll explain when I get there.” I gathered my things and headed for the stairs.
“Emily?” Colin called from behind me.
“Hey, long day?” I asked him.
“Not so bad. You?”
“Not too bad.”
“So, thanks for calling,” he said. We stepped down a couple steps. “For this Benefit thing, do I need a tux?”
“Oh, no, a suit is fine.” I still couldn’t believe he was coming with me. We reached the bottom. “You know, I really appreciate you agreeing to come. I know it’s a college thing and all,” I said downplaying its importance to me.
“It’s a chance to be with you.” He reached across the distance between us and rested his hand on my upper arm rubbing slightly. It was sweet, and kind of corny at the same time. I liked it. My smile grew until it matched his. We hung in our little moment a few seconds before someone cleared his throat behind us. We moved aside letting him pass.
“So, I’ll see you Saturday at the Pavilion?” I asked.
“I thought I’d pick you up,” he said, half asking.
“That sounds like a better plan.”
“Good.” He grinned again, this time leaning in and leaving me with a delicate kiss on my left cheek. He smelled crisp and clean. I breathed it in again before I turned and headed for my car.
I let myself into Trish’s house. Oops, our house. She was hanging a picture in the living room.
“Thank goodness you’re here. My design partner.”
“Funny!” I said. “But it’s not even close to straight.” I reached over her shoulder and straightened it. “Perfect.”
“Of course,” she said, snidely. “So what’s up? Why the secrecy on the phone?”
“Well, it’s a long story and I’ll fill you in. But the bottom line is I need to borrow a dress. And,” I paused chewing on my thumbnail for a second, “I need to look fabulous.”
“I’ll need the reason behind all of this business,” she said jokingly, “but you know I’m happy to loan you something. Let’s go take a look.” We walked toward her bedroom.
It only took a second after Trish pulled out several choices. It was black, strapless and to the floor. “Dramatic” was probably a good description. Once I slipped it on, I knew it was perfect. Trish held her hand up to her mouth in awe. A little much, but exactly the reaction I was going for.
I was all set. All I had to do now was avoid Graham for the next couple of days. Even though I was on board with what I was about to do to him, I still didn’t want everything I said to be a lie. I decided to spend more time at the office helping on a new project.
***
“You know it’s only going to take me a minute to show you how to do this section. You don’t have to stay,” Whitney said, sweeping little eraser bits from the drawing.
“Oh, thanks. But I’d like to,” I said.
She sat back in her chair folding her hands in her lap. I looked at her wondering why she stopped. “What?” I asked.
“What’s going on with you?” she asked, still not budging.
“Nothing. What? Come on, let’s keep working.” I tapped the desk with my hand.
“Yeah, nice try, Emily. I’ve been sitting across from you for months. You don’t ‘hang out.’ ”
“Sure I do. What are you talking about?” I leaned further into the desk looking over my shoulder at her to join me.
“Spill, girl. The jig is up.” She still didn’t move.
She was persistent. I knew I wouldn’t get out of there without telling her. “I’m avoiding someone,” I said dipping my head in shame a little.
“Not Colin?” she asked looking around.
“No, or why would I be here?” I rolled my eyes.
“True. Then who?” She sounded perplexed.
“There’s this guy.” I paused.
“Yeah, that I get,” she said.
“OK.” This time I pushed back into my chair. “I had a boyfriend. It got weird.” I was trying to keep it short.
“Weird?”
“Yeah. Long story short, he cheated.” I sighed as the pain crept back. “But what’s worse is that I sort of forgave him.” I bit my lower lip suddenly disappointed in myself. Whitney just stared at me and waited for more. “Come to find out, he’s been carrying on with his ex all this time.”
“So why are you avoiding him? Why not confront him. You shouldn’t have to hide out.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not hiding from him really. The ex and I are completely aware of this and have…well…banded together, I guess.”
“Really?” Whitney smiled a devious smile. “Little Emily Parker. You surprise me.”
She scooted her chair into the desk, and with a little head-shake and a smile she started explaining the section to me again. I’m not sure if I really deserved it, but I felt like the level of respect I got from Whitney just shot through the roof.
I successfully avoided Graham the rest of the week. When Saturday morning lit up the sky I was more than ready for my plan to jump into action. I woke like a ball of nervous energy. I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I paced while I watched the coffee brew, then decided to let it finish while I went fo
r a run. It had been a rainy week, but like a lot of storms, with the departing rain came crisp, clean air and a new outlook. The city was washed by the rain and the sidewalks and streets sparkled in the morning sun.
I heard my shoes slop through the shallow puddles and felt splashes of water on my sweatpants. It was a fast but constructive little run. When I got back I knocked back a full glass of water before filling a cup with hot coffee. That first sip, warm and toasty, beat that cold glass of water all to hell.
I sipped and puttered around my apartment for a few more minutes thinking about hopping in the shower. Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I took a step back, more closely out the living room window. Sure enough it was Kyle lingering outside a car that wasn’t his. In good gossip style, I crept closer to the window leaning sideways to be able to see better. I pushed my cheek against the window and watched. He rested his hand on the roof of the car and seemed to be carrying on a conversation with someone inside. The sun hit the windshield so I couldn’t see who it was. But I tried harder, squinting to break through the glare. It didn’t work, but I did see something. Her perfectly manicured fingers touched his hand when he leaned in, presumably to kiss her goodbye.
With that, you’d think I could’ve unpeeled myself from the window and gone back to my own life, but no. I stayed there waiting for the show to go on. Kyle stepped away and the car backed out. He turned back toward his apartment then stopped and cupped his hand above his eyes right in my direction. I froze thinking if I ducked down it would be too obvious. I’m not sure I made the right decision. He waved. Then he smiled. A victorious smile at first, then I think he openly laughed. I couldn’t be sure. I couldn’t hear anything outside, but it sure looked that way. I sat back, still in front of my window, and waved. A guilty and embarrassed wave, but a wave.
Saturday was off to a good start, I thought to myself facetiously. There’s nothing like getting caught NOT minding your own business. Oh well. I shook my embarrassment and concentrated on getting ready for my evening.
Emily Calls It (The Emily Series) Page 14
