by Natalie Ward
“We’re late?” Mia says, already getting up.
“Really fucking late,” I say, quickly pulling on a fresh pair of boxers because it’s quicker than finding my other ones. I grab my jeans that are in a pile by the door, discover my old boxers inside them and chuck them back on the floor, before I yank the jeans up my legs.
Mia is laughing now and despite how late I am, I actually stop and look up at her.
“What? What are you laughing at baby?” I ask confused.
“You,” she says gesturing to me as she slowly starts to get dressed herself.
“What about me?” I ask, heading to the closet and grabbing the first shirt I get my hands on. Black, long-sleeved t-shirt; that will do.
“I knew this would make you late,” she says laughing as she pulls her panties up her long legs.
I stop getting dressed long enough to walk over and pull her into my arms. Planting a hard kiss on her mouth that leaves her gasping for breath, I say, “Totally fucking worth it.”
Mia laughs again, pushing me away to go to her room to finish getting dressed herself. I love that she’s automatically doing that and there’s no need for discussion about whether she’s coming with me or not. She just is.
When we are both done, I grab my guitar, throw my arm around her shoulders and we walk out into the empty apartment. I’m guessing Luke and Ash have already left. Considering I was supposed to be at the club a good twenty-five minutes ago, they probably gave up waiting for me. All I can say is thank fuck they didn’t come into my room looking for me. Christ knows we definitely did not need anything like that to happen. As it is, it’s pretty obvious what we’ve been up to all afternoon anyway.
When we get to the club, Ben is on my ass straight away asking where the fuck I’ve been. I reluctantly let Mia go, knowing I owe it to these guys to do this tonight, no matter how badly I just want to drag her out of here and take her back home to bed. I feel better about where we are now, but I know we still have a lot of shit to talk about, to sort out. I still need to make sure she understands that nothing, nothing at all, will ever come between us, no matter what.
And she really needs to talk to her brother about this guilt thing she’s been carrying around. And their stupid fucking asshole father and the crazy things he thinks he can do to us.
We practice out back for an hour or so, tuning our instruments and making sure the set list is sorted. I should be nervous as hell, but right now I feel like a ball of energy, ready to explode. As I sling my guitar over my shoulders, ready to walk out there, get this done and get Mia back home and in my bed, someone grabs my hand. I turn, look down and see Mia standing beside me. I glance around, not even sure why I bother to check who’s watching us when I know I’m going to kiss her anyway. But nobody is, everyone is too wrapped up in their own thing before we head out on stage, so I put my hand on her waist and push her into the darkened corner where I can have her all to myself, even if it’s just for a minute.
“You’re not going anywhere, right?” I ask as she smiles up at me.
“I’m staying right here Jared,” she says, pushing up on her toes to kiss me. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
I hear the groan that comes from deep inside my chest as I push her against the wall and kiss her like I haven’t kissed her in years. Even though it’s only been an hour or so, it feels like longer. And besides, we have a shitload of time to make up for and tonight, I’m making sure we do exactly that.
“Well I can think of somewhere else I’d rather be, baby,” I say, my fingers sliding into the waistband of her jeans and pulling her closer.
Mia laughs now, and it’s a low sexy rumble that runs from her mouth into mine. “Mmmm, me too.”
Tonight, 10:15pm – Mia
Jared’s lips are doing amazing things to my entire body. He’s kissing only my mouth, but I can feel the kiss everywhere. My head is spinning, my stomach is doing somersaults, I’m fairly certain my legs are shaking, but it’s my heart that’s really reacting. It’s pounding like crazy inside my chest and I can’t tell if it’s excitement, lust, desire or just… pure love.
He steps even closer now, so his body completely encloses mine. My back is to the wall, his chest is pressed against my chest and the combination of his lips on mine, and his fingers, as he slides them into the waistband of my jeans, is driving me completely fucking crazy. I wish more than anything else that we were back in his room right now.
“You’re not going anywhere, right?” I hear him ask me.
I lean up and kiss him again, already missing the feel of his lips on mine. “I’m staying right here Jared,” I tell him. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
His hips push harder against mine as he mumbles, “Well I can think of somewhere else I’d rather be, baby.”
I hear my laugh, smothered by his kisses. Me too, I think to myself, me too.
My hands grip the front of his t-shirt and I make myself gently push him away. “Come on, go do this,” I tell him, knowing it’s what he needs to do, what he should do and that I’ll be here waiting at the end of it. “Go show them what you guys are made of now.”
Jared grins down at me before kissing me again and pulling away. I watch as he walks over to where the others all stand. I can’t actually believe they haven’t busted us; that no one has noticed the kiss we just shared. But looking around, all I can see is Luke and Ash, completely wrapped up in each other. Ben, busy making Sarah laugh and as always Pete and Steve doing their own thing. That’s why no one noticed Jared and me, and even though I am completely on board this time, I kind of like the idea that it’s just the two of us at the moment. I want time to savour just being us again.
As the guys all walk out on stage to loud applause, Ash comes over and slips her arm through mine and we walk to the side to watch them, Sarah and Pete joining us.
“You alright?” I ask, pulling her closer.
She keeps her gaze on my brother, unable to take her eyes off him. “Yep, perfect,” she answers, still looking at him and smiling like she’s hiding the biggest secret in the world.
I pinch her side. “So, you finally told him then?” I ask as Ash eventually turns to look at me.
I watch as her smile gets bigger and her arm squeezes mine. “Yeah, I did,” is all she says before she turns back to watch him.
I smile, glad these two have found each other, that they’ve finally worked out that they are both nuts about each other. But more than anything, I’m just really glad they’ve both finally found the happiness they so deserve. I feel a strange sense of relief, knowing Luke has Ash to look after him now. It’s almost like a physical weight has been lifted off my shoulders, leaving me wondering if this is what I was always waiting for.
Moving, I can see Jared on the far side of the stage, his head bent over his guitar as he furiously plays it in time to Ben’s drums. He looks so unbelievably sexy, especially as he steps up to the microphone and sings along with Luke. I watch his mouth as he practically kisses the microphone, he’s that close, and my eyes close as I picture that mouth on me. A shiver runs down my spine and my eyes snap open, just wanting to watch him all night long.
Ash and I stand there in a trance, Pete and Sarah right beside us. Every now and then Jared flicks his eyes in my direction and smiles and it literally makes me melt. I have no idea if the others notice and I don’t care. Because, between the look, the sexy grin and the way he moves around stage, I just want to grab him and drag him back home and into bed. I feel strangely anxious, on edge, like we have so much time to make up for because of my stupid mistakes.
I want to savour every second with him now, but I want to make up for every second we’ve missed out on as well. I don’t want to waste a single moment anymore.
Eventually the guys finish and after playing an encore for their screaming fans, they all walk off, laughing and slapping each other on the back. Jared walks straight over to me and without even thinking, I wrap my arms around his waist
and pull him against me. He is hot and drenched in sweat, but I don’t care.
“Hey,” he says, grinning as he leans down to kiss me.
I laugh. “Hey yourself rock star.”
Jared laughs now and does a little sway with his hips, pushing them against mine and driving me even crazier. “What did you think?” he asks, knowing damn well they were amazing.
I grip his hips, stopping his movements before I combust. “I think,” I say, leaning in to kiss him again. “That you were amazing, unbelievably amazing, best show ever.”
He wraps his free arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer. His other hand still holds his guitar as he lowers his face so his lips are just a breath away from mine. “That’s because I finally had you to play for baby,” he whispers before kissing me, ever so gently this time.
Everything inside of me melts; at his words, his kiss, his arm wrapped around me. My hands on his hips pull him closer now and I drown in him, more than ready to make up for all of our lost time. Someone bumping into us breaks us apart, but rather than be upset, we both laugh before walking over to where the others all are and joining in the group hug.
Everything about tonight feels amazing. Having Jared back, seeing them play like they did, the energy that surrounds all of us.
It all just feels too good to be true.
The next day, 2:34am – Jared
We walk out the back door and into the alley where Ben’s van is parked. Everyone is helping pack up and although there is no snow tonight, it is freezing cold. I walk over to the door to check that we have everything and from the corner of my eye, I see Mia turn and step towards me. I stand completely still and just watch her. We are almost touching, only a sliver of air between us. Despite the cold air, all I can feel now, is heat. The heat of Mia’s body almost touching mine, the heat of what I know is going to happen tonight when we get back home.
Despite everything that happened this afternoon, I want her again. I want her in ways like I’ve never wanted her before. My heart is pounding and my hands are itching to touch her again, to move all over her body. I want to explore every single part of her, re-learn what her body feels like, re-learn all the different ways to turn her on. This afternoon was fucking amazing and I loved every second of it, but it was too quick, and all built on grief.
And I want more, much more. I want all night tonight and all day tomorrow with her. I want every single day and night after that. I want to savour her, devour her, love her. I want to make up for all of our lost time and I want to keep her. I want it to be about nothing but Mia and me; about nothing more than me, loving her.
Shit, I am so fucking turned on right now.
“Hey you,” Mia whispers to me, a smile on her face as she steps a tiny bit closer, almost closing the gap between us.
“Hey yourself,” I whisper back, the cold air making white puffs with our breath. I watch as they swirl in the night, merging together. I want that to be our mouths, our tongues, our bodies. I am desperate to touch her.
I hear Luke’s voice, but I have no idea what he says.
“Go on ahead,” I tell him anyway. “We’ll catch you.”
I can’t take my eyes off of Mia as I step towards her, wanting to press my body against hers now. She’s smiling up at me, the white puffs coming harder as her breathing gets faster. I smile back at her, watch as she bites her bottom lip in anticipation. I am just about to take that final step and close the distance between us, when I hear it.
A loud crack. Ringing into the still night air, shattering everything.
The scream that follows is much worse. But it’s the terror I feel as I watch Mia turn and run, that’s completely indescribable. I watch helplessly, stuck to the spot I’m standing on, as Mia runs to where Luke now sits, holding Ash in his arms. To where a strange man stands, watching everything that’s happening in front of him as though it’s some kind of private show, just for him.
“MIA!” I scream, as the gun I now realise he’s holding, points at her.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this can’t be happening, not now, not after everything that’s happened between us. Not after Mia has finally talked to me and told me everything. Not after I’ve finally gotten her back. Memories of our reconnection flood my brain. The feel of her fingers on my skin and her mouth against mine; the sounds she made as I touched her and the smell of her skin as I kissed her all over. The feel of her body against mine; wrapped in my arms. It was something I’d been missing, craving for so long and I can’t lose it.
I can’t lose her, not now, not like this. Not ever.
I take off after her, my heart pounding at the thought that I might. That I might lose her in a way that is much more permanent. My legs feel like lead, as though my feet are stuck to the pavement and every step towards her is an effort I’m barely able to make. I see my arm stretched out in front of me, fingers reaching for her, desperate to get to her.
Time slows down and I don’t know what happens next. I only know that just as I reach Mia, this man smiles at us as though this is all some huge fucking joke. I watch as he raises his arm, the hand that’s holding his gun, until it’s pointing at Mia’s chest, right at her heart. My own heart stops, right inside my chest.
No, no, no, I can’t lose her; I can’t.
The only thing I can do, is grab her hand, pull her backwards and into my arms, away from him. I hear her scream and I yell out her name again, pulling her against me as we sink to the cold pavement. Somewhere a siren rings out and this man finally turns and runs.
Beside us now, I hear the sound of Luke’s agonising sobs, his pleading cries to Ash, the sound of Ben’s voice, yelling into his phone, Sarah screaming out for Pete and Steve to come back. I have no idea what’s happening. All I know is there’s a fuckload of blood everywhere, most of it all over Luke and Ash. I throw my arms around Mia now, checking her everywhere and she collapses against me as an ambulance shows up, sirens and lights flashing, drowning out everything else around us.
Shattering everything, in an instant.
I watch speechless as the paramedics come and pull Ash from Luke’s arms. Mine tighten around Mia instinctively, but she pushes me away, scrambling to her feet as she grabs Luke and stops him from going after Ash.
“Do you know this woman?”
It’s one of the paramedics and for a second I have no idea who he’s talking to. But then I see Luke, staring at Ash’s bloodied body as it lies on the gurney, two strangers working on her. Mia is shaking him, but he’s not moving, not saying anything.
“Do you know this woman?”
The question is asked again and Luke still doesn’t move.
“Luke,” I say, walking towards him, nudging him.
He turns to look at me and his face is absolutely destroyed. In all the years I’ve known him, I have never seen him look like this. He looks at me like he doesn’t even know who I am.
“Talk to them,” I say, pointing to the paramedics. “Let them help her.”
He nods at me and I watch as Mia walks him towards Ash. She’s lying on the gurney, covered in blood and not moving. I’m too afraid to ask what the fuck is going on, whether she is even still alive. Luke looks like he’s going to pass out or scream or punch something.
Eventually they load Ash into the ambulance, Luke climbing in behind her before the doors are slammed shut.
“Come on, let’s go,” Ben yells as he climbs into the driver’s seat of his van. I watch as Mia walks straight past me and into the back of the van. I turn and follow, climbing in and sitting beside her. No one says anything as Ben follows the ambulance all the way to hospital, matching their speed and running every red light they do. When we arrive, Ben pulls right in behind the ambulance, which already has its doors open and Ash’s gurney out. Mia climbs over me and out of the van, walking straight over to her brother, who is following Ash inside.
“I’ll go park and meet you inside,” Ben says, his hands gripping the steering wheel.
“I’ll come with
you,” Sarah says, redoing her seat belt in the front seat.
Pete, Steve and I all climb out and walk towards the doors. We are directed to a waiting area where three other people are sitting. There is no sign of Luke or Mia and I immediately walk out to try to find them. Mia is standing in the corridor, blood all over her hands. There is no sign of Luke, so I walk over to her and pull her into my arms. She is shaking, badly.
“Where’s Luke?” I ask, running my hand up and down her back as I hold her tight against me.
Mia shrugs in my arms, but says nothing, so I pull her into the waiting room where the others are. Pete is already loading coins into a vending machine and getting coffees. As soon as he sees me walk in and sit down, pulling Mia into my lap, he hands her a coffee. Mia’s hands are shaking so badly, she can’t hold it, so I smile gratefully at him and take it for her.
I don’t know how long we sit here for, but eventually a nurse brings Luke into the room. To say he looks destroyed would probably be the biggest understatement of all time. Despite the fact she has said nothing since we got here, the minute Mia sees him she is up off my lap and wrapping her arms around him. It’s like a punch in the gut and I don’t mean to react this way, but I do and I have to force myself to get up and walk over to him.
He is her brother.
They have always looked out for each other, always been there for each other.
He is her brother and he needs her tonight, now more than ever.
I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. He turns to look at me and he has a look of such devastation on his face that I have no idea what to say. Mia pushes him towards the chair we were just sitting in, forcing him to sit down. He does and immediately buries his head in his hands as Mia holds him. For the first time, I register that he is covered in blood.
“Luke,” I say quietly, standing in front of him. “Are you alright?”
