Remember Me Now (It's Kind Of Personal #4.5 or #5)

by Anna Brooks

  Of course, he is. Not only is he incredibly beautiful in a ridiculously hot way, but he’s also strong and confident and nice, and you just know he has that streak in him. Like if the bad boy gets unleashed, you’d better watch out because he’s gonna make it hurt so good. Totally not the kind of guy I need to be around. I’d prefer it if he were an asshole, so it’d be easier for me to stick to my ideals and the new direction my life is headed … as a cat lady.

  Meara hangs out behind the bar for about an hour before she sends me home when it slows down. I grab my purse and take off, saying good-bye to her on my way out. Rudely, I ignore Nik. I hope my shitty attitude makes him want to stay the hell away from me because I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stay away from him.

  * * *

  “Hello, Mother.” I use a mock British accent when she walks into the restaurant, and she rolls her eyes at me.

  “Hello, Daughter.” She leans down to hug me and no sooner does she sit down is the waiter back.

  “Something to drink?” he asks.

  “What are you having?” Her eyes peek over into my glass.

  “Mimosa.”

  “I’ll have the same.”

  “Be right back with that. I’m Cory if you need anything else.”

  “So …” Mom scoots her chair in and sets her purse on the table. “How’s the new job?”

  “It’s good.”

  “Lisa.” Damn, there’s the Mom voice. I’m thirty-three years old, and she still scares me with it.

  “Mother.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I take a sip of my drink and avoid her inquisitive gaze.

  “Lisa.”

  “There’s a guy.”

  “Oh. Good guy or bad guy?”

  I pause as the waiter returns with Mom’s drink. “Both. I only worked with him one night, and I can already tell he’s a good guy. But he’ll be bad for me and I’m trying to stay away from that.”

  “Let’s get some food.”

  Thank God, she doesn’t lecture me. Ever since my dad ditched us when I was a toddler, it’s just been her and me. My mom is my best friend, but I still respect her as a mother. We go to the buffet, and I load my plate with waffles and strawberries then top them with whipped cream. We walk back to our table together, and after a few bites, Mom sets her napkin on her lap and clears her throat.

  “I know you think you need to stay celibate or turn into a lesbian or something, but there’s nothing wrong with dating as long as you do it in a healthy way. You deserve to be happy, Lisa. Brad would want you to be happy, and if that means moving on with another man—” She pauses to take a drink and then looks over my shoulder.

  “I don’t want another man, Mom. I went from being with Brad since I was sixteen, to losing Brad, to feeling so lonely I wondered what the point in living was anymore, to screwing anything that would give me a minute of attention, to where I am now, which is only surviving because of antidepressants and the hope that one day … maybe, one day, I’ll be able to wake up in the morning and actually smile again. But that starts with me, not a man. I don’t need a man.”

  Mom doesn’t reply right away. Instead, her eyes remain hyper-focused on something else, and I turn around to find none other than the source of my frustration. You’ve gotta be kidding me.

  “Uh, hey.” Nik offers a lame wave, and I hold back a groan.

  “Nik, my mom, Joanna. Mom, meet Nik. He works at the pub.”

  Her wide eyes stretch a little more, but she quickly covers it with a smile. “Hello, nice to meet you.”

  “I was just meeting my dad, so I wanted to say hi. I’ll, uh, see you later.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Nice meeting you, Ms. Scott.”

  When he sits at a table a few feet from us with a man who looks just like him, dark hair but a shorter frame that’s built and compact with muscle, I bang my head on the table.

  “He heard everything, didn’t he?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I was going to, but then you just started rambling on and he was staring at you and … I’m sorry. It just caught me off guard. So is that him? The good bad guy.”

  “Yep, that’s him.”

  “Hmm.” Mom takes a bite of her omelet and taps her finger on the table. “He’s very attractive, Lisa. Are you sure you don’t want to—”

  “Mom!”

  “Excuse me for wanting an Adonis like him for my son-in-law.”

  Chapter 3

  Nik

  “Hey, Pops.” My father stands, and I hug him before sitting down.

  “Hey, son.”

  “Who were those women?”

  “The new bartender and her mom.”

  “Lookers.”

  I laugh at his assessment and nod in agreement. “Yeah, they are.”

  As we walk over to the buffet to fill our plates, I replay what I’d heard Lisa say in my head. The skepticism in her eyes makes sense now. It sucks she lost someone, but it tells me more about her and helps to explain why she’s so moody.

  Dad and I both eat two plates, but when I get up for a third, I bump into Lisa at the fruit bar. “Sorry, go ahead.” I motion in front of me.

  “It’s okay. You were here first.”

  “Lisa, Jesus, just fuckin’ go ahead of me.”

  She straightens her spine and rips the plate off the rack so hard the entire stack shakes. “Fine.”

  I grab a plate and follow her in line, happily staring at her legs sticking out of her short skirt. Since my eyes are trained on something else, I don’t notice when she stops, so I accidentally bump into her and she nudges me away.

  “Sorry.”

  “Well, if you’d stop staring at my ass, you would have seen me stop.”

  “I wasn’t staring at your ass.”

  “Really?”

  “I was staring at your sexy stems.”

  “My stems? What, are you channeling your inner ninety’s teenage romcoms?”

  I pull my head back. “I’m clueless here, babe.”

  Her laughter takes me by surprise, and I find myself laughing right along with her. Seeing a smile on her face lightens my entire mood.

  She pulls her plate closer to her stomach and backs away. “See you at work tonight, Nik.”

  “Yeah, see ya.”

  Suddenly, food doesn’t seem appealing anymore … I’d much rather have a taste of Lisa and her smart mouth.

  * * *

  It’s been a couple of weeks since our encounter at the breakfast joint, and Lisa’s still pretending I don’t exist. When she does, though, she acts like I kicked her puppy. After a few days of learning the ropes, she picked everything up really fast. I’m not looking forward to tonight … Freeze Queen is scheduled to come in soon, and Lord knows she’s a bundle of fun.

  “Man, am I glad to see you.” Meara claps when Lisa comes behind the bar. “I can’t wait to get outta here.”

  “Well, I’m here.” Lisa smiles at Meara, and I roll my eyes at how fucking nice she is to her. And to Pierce and to every other person who works here. They all looove Lisa. Don’t mention anything bad about her or everyone will jump down your damn throat. God forbid they believe someone they’ve known their entire life.

  “Yay, Lisa’s here,” I mimic Meara and clap my hands dramatically.

  Meara punches me in the shoulder, and Lisa laughs.

  “Holy shit, was that a smile?” I clutch my chest. “Has hell frozen over?”

  “God, you’re an ass. Stop it.” Meara grabs her purse. “I’m outta here. Play nice, kids.” She points directly at me and narrows her eyes.

  As soon as Meara’s out of sight, I turn my back to Lisa and work my end of the bar. She does the same, and before I know it, it’s closing time. Everyone else has left, and Lisa and I are the only two people here. She disappeared a few minutes ago, and when she returns carrying two large boxes, I rush over to grab them from her.

  “It’s okay, I’ve
got it.”

  “No, let me take them.” I grab the bottom one and tug a little, which causes her to lurch toward me.

  “No, damn it. I said I got it.”

  She tugs harder, and I pull against her strength, finally forcing her to release the boxes. Since they’re filled with liquor and beer to restock, I set them over on the floor but then turn back around and point at her.

  “What the fuck is your problem with me?”

  She has the nerve to look shocked. “What? Nothing.”

  “Nothing?”

  “No.”

  She stares at me, her ocean-colored eyes bright as she challenges me to keep pushing her. She wants to fight almost as much as she wants to fuck, and I’m getting really sick of the former. “Hurry up and finish what you have to do so we can go.”

  She points at the boxes. “I just need to stock this stuff.”

  My teeth hurt from clenching my jaw so hard. This woman gets on my last fucking nerve. If she’d just be honest with me, everything would be completely different. Maybe if she acknowledged the damn fire between us, we could do something about it and the heat would go away. Right now, though, she needs to leave before I do something I’ll regret. Like bend her over the damn bar and fuck the anger right out of her. “Just go. I’ll do it.”

  “I can stay.”

  “Lisa, it’s fine. I’ll do it.”

  “I’m perfectly capable of doing it, too.”

  “Just go!” I yell and immediately feel bad when her face falls, but I refuse to show any remorse. I might be a nice guy, but I can only take so much. She thinks I don’t see her looking at me when I’m walking away or glancing at me when I’m talking to a female customer … jealousy looks good on her.

  “Fine.”

  She storms off, and I put my elbows on the bar and rest my head in my hands. I have to take a few deep breaths before my anger dissipates, and while I’m restocking the cooler, I pop the top off a beer and finish the bottle in a few deep pulls.

  I can’t get home fast enough, but as I drive down Main Street, I see her. Walking alone and in the fucking dark like a damn sitting duck. I follow her home and get even more pissed that she has no fuckin’ clue someone’s on her heels.

  By the time I get to my house, it’s almost three in the morning. And instead of being tired, my mind won’t shut off. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Lisa, and it’s driving me crazy that one woman is messing with me so much.

  The only one to ever do that before is Meara. I’ve known her my whole life, and I watched her grow up and become an amazing woman. She’s going through some shit, and she’s been putting on a brave front for everyone else. I’m trying my best to help her without letting on that I know. I’m not sure if it’s just because of her boyfriend, Liam, or if something else is going on. I try to step in and be the big brother and the best friend and the one who looks out for her without being too overbearing. Never have I ever had any kind of romantic feelings for her, but I love the shit outta that girl, and it’s killing me that she’s struggling with something she doesn’t want to talk about.

  I don’t have any other family except for my dad, and I grew up with the Kellys filling the void. They gave me whatever I felt I was missing by only having Dominic Nervetti’s rugged ass raising me since my mom ditched us when I was a baby.

  I finally doze off and wake up at nine-thirty to my phone blaring. Sometimes I feel guilty for keeping the fact that I work for Special Forces a secret from everyone. Aside from my dad, Declan’s the only one who knows now, because I joined the force at the same time as he went to boot camp. Since I’m the same age as Declan, which is six years older than Pierce, they were all too young to realize I wasn’t around that much all those years ago. I did a lot of undercover work, but now I only get called for high-risk situations.

  In less than three minutes I’m out of the house and on my way to a hostage situation at a bank. I park around the corner and open my trunk to grab all my gear, slide my mask on, and insert my earpiece. I take the back staircase of the building across the street and jog over to the side of the roof closest to the bank.

  Lying on my stomach, I aim my Remington toward the building and use the scope to find my target. Fucker’s got a gun pointed at a pregnant woman’s head.

  “You’re clear to take your shot, Nervetti.” My boss’ voice echoes through my ear, and I rest my finger against the trigger. I become hyper-focused on my target, my vision like a wild animal stalking its prey. The hostage is moving too much. Her entire body is shaking and because the asshole has her in a headlock, he’s really close to her, making it difficult to get a clear shot.

  The woman freezes momentarily, and I take the opportunity to send a single round right between the captor’s eyes. The pregnant woman falls to the ground, and I notice a puddle of water in front of her. That was why she froze. The rest of SWAT swarms in, and I watch them arrest the accomplices before I pack up my stuff.

  “Good work, Nervetti. You’re clear.”

  I nod, knowing that boss man can see me. I hustle back to my car, carefully putting all my equipment away and then I drive off. Once I make it around the corner, I rip my mask off and throw it in the passenger seat. I head to the station and fill out my report, then on autopilot I head down to the lake and walk over to a large rock. I hop up then lie on my back. When I close my eyes, I try not to picture the man I just killed, but the woman who I saved. The steady whoosh of the water causes me to doze off for an hour, and when I wake up I go home and take a shower, then eat something before going to the pub for my night shift.

  Chapter 4

  Lisa

  I can’t help but notice Nik is worn out tonight. He doesn’t even give me a sideways glance, and I should be happy about that. Being a bitch to him was supposed to push him away. It was supposed to make him hate me so he’d stop looking at me like he wants more. And now that he’s doing exactly that, I’m regretting my ridiculous behavior.

  Like last night, everyone leaves but the two of us, and as we clean up and he does the drawer, I feel like I should say something. Maybe apologize or explain. But if I do that, then he’ll know how he affects me, and I don’t want to give him the upper hand.

  I go to the storage room to grab a case of beer, and as I’m walking out the door, Nik walks in. Without saying anything, he grabs my face between his hands and crushes his lips against mine. The case of beer lands on my toe before I kick it off and stand stock-still. The pleasure of his lips outweighs the pain. His mouth works against mine, so soft and strong and demanding. He coaxes me, sliding his tongue against my lips and nipping at them, begging for me to let him in. Each second that passes, my willpower begins to wear, and he senses it, pulling back to look into my eyes.

  “Kiss me back, baby.”

  My fingers vibrate with nerves as I reach up and grab his arms, the warmth of his body seeping through his shirt. My eyes close as he begins his descent, and I hold my breath in anticipation. His lips peck at mine, and I open my mouth, allowing him in, giving him permission to annihilate me. I stroke my tongue against his and moan into him. His answering growl catches me off guard and makes my knees weak.

  With little resistance on my part, he backs me up into the shelves and the glass bottles shake behind me. One of his hands slides down from my face and glides over my ribcage then back up again. His thumb presses against my breast, and when an involuntary shudder passes through me, he takes that as an invitation and slides his hand under my shirt. When his calloused fingers rub against the silk of my bra, I pull away. “Stop, Nik. I can’t.”

  His breath heavy and eyes dark, he takes his hand out from under my shirt. “Yes, you can. You want it just as bad as I do.”

  There’s no denying he’s right. If anything, I want him more, but I’ll just continue to lie to him. “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Both. I can’t sleep with you because I won’t put myself in a position to be destroyed again, and you might
not know it, but you have that power already.”

  I duck out from under his arms with the intention of leaving. I grab my purse from the bar then run out the back door. It puts me in an alley, and I lean against the cool brick to collect myself. Never in my life have I been kissed that thoroughly. It was almost like he was fucking my mouth, and damn it, I do want more; I want everything he can give me. But I’m not that person anymore, so I push the thought aside of us being an us, even if just for the night, and I walk home.

  When I moved here a month ago, I spent the majority of my money on a down payment for a house, and I am using what’s left of Brad’s life insurance policy to pay the mortgage. Hopefully I’ll be able to start making enough money to afford a car payment, but I got lucky and only work about six blocks from where I live. If I need to go somewhere else, my mom takes me, I take a cab, or I hop on the bus. Not the most ideal, but it is what it is.

  Headlights cast a shadow behind my body, and as they get brighter, I grip my can of pepper spray. A car door slams, and I look down, scurrying faster along the sidewalk.

  “Get your ass in the car.” Nik’s angry voice makes me jump, and the pepper spray falls to the ground.

  He picks it up, holding it out for me to take. “Thanks.” I put it back in my purse and point at the street. “I’m only a couple of blocks up. I can walk.”

  “You’re a woman alone at two in the morning, and you think you’re fine walking home?”

  “Yes. Thank you, though.”

  “Lisa, stop being stubborn.”

  “I’m not. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” I have to be, since I plan to be alone for the rest of my life. I have to rely on myself.

  “Get in the car.” His patience is running thin, but I won’t back down.

  “Go home, Nik. I’m fine.”

  “Damn it, woman. Just get in the fuckin’ car!”

  “I don’t need you to help me. I don’t need anybody!” The words fall out of my mouth, and I realize I’m screaming at him. My knees wobble as he stares at me, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears burning the back of my eyes from rolling out.