Daring the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  Suddenly pushing me hard, making me fall onto Morgan, Rod yells, “Congrats, Hadders! That’s awesome news!” He laughs, but then abruptly stops. “Oh, damn. Is it mine?”

  I scowl at him and turn to Val to object, “I’m not.” I try to avoid inadvertently implicating Morgan, so I look away and avoid eye contact with everyone, which probably makes me look even more like a liar. She’s already told everyone about her engagement; so mercifully, I don’t have to perjure myself about that.

  Morgan interjects, and thankfully saving me from lying anymore to cover her butt, “That is freaky, Val. Actually, it’s me. Your dream was right. I’m pregnant!”

  Val covers her mouth, yet she can’t hide her gigantic smile. “Morgan! Really? Congratulations, dear heart! That’s fabulous!”

  Morgan happily giggles. “Thank you! I’m due November 13th!”

  Rod slaps his knee. “Figures the 13th. Are you absolutely positive it won’t have horns?”

  Ignoring him, Morgan informs Val, “So, no softball for me.”

  “Softball?” I ask, rejoining the conversation.

  Val swiftly sits up and puts her hands flat on her desk. “Oh, yes! We’re forming a softball league!”

  Rod circles his finger to indicate Val, himself and me. “Who? The three of us? That’s a crappy team.”

  She laughs. “No! Our firm! Or anyone from the whole building who wants to play. As of now, we have just about enough players from our floor alone, but we’ll take anyone who wants to join our team.”

  Rod smacks my arm hard and I yelp, “Ouch!” I rub my stinging arm as he springs up and down in his chair.

  “Why don’t you ask Wilder to play with us?”

  I wince and take aim at his words. “You’d like to play with him, wouldn’t you?” I couldn’t help it. Without question, it couldn’t be avoided.

  “Bite me, hadrosaur.”

  I wrinkle my nose. “What?”

  He holds his hand next to his mouth, like he’s telling me a secret, but loudly whispering, “It was a dinosaur with a big nose.” Val and Morgan groan.

  “Thanks a lot, jerk!” He snickers and I ask, “Why do you want Finn to play? He’s always busy anyway.”

  He hits my leg this time. “Doing what? You?”

  Morgan scoffs. Val sighs and says, “Gregory.”

  Rod laughs. “Because he’s a sporty kind of guy! Duh, Hadders!”

  “That’s a great idea!” Val declares excitedly. “If he doesn’t want to play, we do need some coaches who know something about the sport.”

  I shake my head, hoping they don’t seriously want me to ask Finn to play. “I don’t know if he’d be interested in playing softball.”

  Rod leans onto the arm of his chair. “Just ask him!”

  Morgan uncrosses and alternates legs as she says, “I can keep score. That’s about it. I wouldn’t be a good coach.”

  Rod dips his head back to the ceiling once more. “Thank you, Jesus!”

  I sigh. “I’m not asking Finn, Rod.” He looks over at me, but doesn’t say anything else.

  I ask Val, “Are we getting uniforms?”

  She nods. “We’ll have T-shirts and hats. You can wear jeans or sweats, I guess.”

  “Yeah, Hadders. No skirts that you can leave unbuttoned to distract the ump. Although, that would actually work in our favor. Just make sure you show some belly button too.”

  I slump in my chair thinking about last Sunday’s attire. “Shut up, Rod.”

  He smirks. “Sadly, you can’t do that if your boyfriend is around. He’d beat the crap out of anyone looking at your legs or at your—”

  Val, Morgan and I all yell, “Rod! Gregory!”

  He throws his hands up and swings his head around to all of us. “Whoa! What? I was going to say Underoos! You’re all paranoid!”

  I mumble and twist my ring. “I doubt that he’d care anyway.”

  He loudly laughs. “You wanna bet? If I tried to look up your skirt in front of him, he gauge my eyes out before smashing my face into his knee!”

  “Just shut up, Rod.” I close my eyes, boosting my arm on the side of my chair, and rest my forehead in my hand.

  Morgan leans in front of me and says to Rod, “How much do you want to bet that I won’t do that right now just for you breathing?”

  As so Val doesn’t notice, Rod surreptitiously flips Morgan off while scratching his ear as he complains, “There’s no way we have enough people to play in our office alone.”

  I look past my crooked arm. “Why not? Just Morgan is out.”

  He lifts his hand up and motions, “Everyone else is…” Yes. As of right now, Rod is the youngest in our office at 27. Aside from Rhonda, our receptionist, and the other paralegal in our office, Shasta, Morgan and I are the closest to him in age.

  Val props her elbows on top of her desk and sets her chin in her clasped hands, smiling super sweetly. “What, Rod? Please, enlighten us as to what everyone else is.”

  He flicks his tongue nervously over his lips and answers, “Golden?”

  She grins. “That better mean awesome.”

  He nods instantly, while bouncing his leg anxiously. “Definitely.”

  Her eyes sweep to all three of us. “Actually, there’s more news. We’re getting two new lawyers and Morgan is finally getting a paralegal of her own.”

  Morgan claps excitedly. “Yes! No more using Hadley!”

  I frown. “Thanks?”

  She nudges my arm. “You know what I mean.” Actually, Morgan barely gave me any work to do. The biggest project she gave me was a stack of papers to shred. Backbreaking work. I had to stay late for that one.

  “Mostly everyone is back from their Easter vacations. The new attorneys are actually here today too. Sylvie Tucker and Grant Majorca. Morgan’s assistant, Crick Scanlon starts next week.”

  Rod nearly leaps out of his chair as he gasps, “Crick? Crick?”

  Val shrugs. “Yes, Rod. I know. It’s different.”

  Looking as if he’s going to explode, he lets loose, “Holy sheep dung! Don’t get me started on that name! That’s what my parents call the creek that runs through town! Or a spasm you get in your neck! Who names their kid Crick? Is it short for Cricket?”

  Morgan leans past me again. “Rod, if you make fun of my new assistant, I will trade paralegals with Amos and make your life a living hell.”

  He throws his hands up and leans back against his chair. “Too late!”

  I look at Val. “What’s our team’s name?”

  She runs a hand through her banana blonde hair, patting the already perfect strands into place. “That’s for us to come up with. We can put suggestions into a box in the kitchen and then decide on the best? That reminds me, we need to quickly come up with a name so we can get our shirts and hats ordered.”

  Rod wickedly grins. “Oh, I have quite a few suggestions.”

  Val narrows her eyes at him. “Rod, keep it clean.”

  Moving to the edge of his chair, he clasps his hands together. “Dirt Bags! Boo Bees! The Bats Out of Hell! Bat Shit Crazies! The B-Baggers! What? Why are you guys staring at me like that? Would those all be a no?”

  After we leave Val’s office, I go to the kitchen and pour myself more coffee. I barely slept last night and I’m running on fumes. I hear the clicking of shoes behind me, followed by unmistakable laughter.

  “Oh, Roddy, you’re so funny.” Roddy? Ugh. Shasta Montgomery. Shasta. Isn’t that a brand of pop? She’s been Brandon Rhodes’ assistant for about four months now after his former one, Gigi, retired. She always seems nice enough when we’re alone, but when there are men around, she’s a major flirt and the women around her don’t exist. I’m also pretty sure she’s slept with her boss, who is 30 years her senior and married. She’s the reason I don’t want Finn playing softball with us. With her killer body, long, curly auburn hair, drop-dead looks, flirty personality and even a cockiness about it…she’s perfect for my boyfriend. In fact, she’s like the female version of
Finn Wilder.

  Rod says, “You’re the only one who thinks I’m funny!”

  I turn and she nods at me, obligatorily saying, “Hey, Hadley.” She’s dressed in a black scoop neck top, a tight, white skirt and ridiculous black heels that look more like stilts than shoes.

  I smile. “Hi, Shasta. How was your vacation?”

  She tosses her gorgeous hair over her shoulder and alluringly grins at Rod, as if he had asked her the question. “Good. I went to the beach with some friends. We were looking for some men to bring home as souvenirs.” She sighs and crosses her arms. “No such luck, though. Why are all the hot guys married?”

  “Or named Wade?” Rod snickers. Shasta looks at him questioningly, but he doesn’t elaborate.

  Shasta says, “Brandon told me about our softball team. I’m excited, but have no idea what I’m doing.” She shrugs and reaches for a mug. “I guess it could be fun. Roddy, you’ll help me. Right?”

  He cheekily nods as he braces his hands behind him on the kitchen counter. “Absolutely. I’ll teach you how to hold a bat firmly, how to gently handle a ball and how to slide smoothly into home.”

  “I’m going to puke,” I mutter into my mug. He gives me a withering look behind Shasta’s head and I nearly splutter coffee all over myself.

  She turns to face Rod and gives him a winning smile. “Okay! You can be my personal coach. I wonder who our coaches will be anyway.” Rod and I both shrug at the same time.

  “Well, Roddy, I’ll catch you later.” She winks at Rod and he smiles at her like a lovesick dog as he watches her leave. His contemptuous look slips back onto his face and I roll my eyes before I swiftly leave the kitchen in Shasta’s slutty perfume wake.

  When I return to my desk, I spot that I missed a call on my cell phone. Picking it up, I notice it was my dad. Hitting redial, he answers and I say, “Dad, hey.”

  “There you are! I called you Sunday to wish you a Happy Easter! I also called you yesterday, but you didn’t call me back. I was worried. I thought maybe Finn kidnapped you.” He laughs; his rough voice makes me smile.

  “I’m sorry. My phone didn’t show that I missed any calls. I feel bad. I tried calling you on Sunday, but you didn’t answer your phone either.” My phone must’ve also taken a vacation. I can’t tell Finn or even Rod. They’ll bitch at me again about getting a new phone.

  He laughs again. “I didn’t hear mine ring!”

  “We’re a perfect pair, aren’t we?”

  “Yep. How was Delaware at Finn’s mom and stepdad’s?”

  I clear my throat and prepare to fib a little. “It was good. How was Jared’s?”

  “Oh, he has appendicitis.” That runs in my family, it seems. My dad had to have his appendix removed, and so did my grandmother. Now, my brother has it. He says, “I’m surprised you never had appendicitis too.”

  I scrunch up my face. “Are you wishing I did?”

  “No, pumpkin pie. I was just making an observation.”

  “Okay… How’s Jared feeling?”

  “He’s okay. Taking meds and hoping he doesn’t have to have surgery.”

  Smiling, I say, “Yeah, he’s always been a wimp.”

  “Pretty much.” We both laugh and he asks, “How’s my son-in-law?”

  I cringe at his pet name for Finn. He’s always called him that, but never to his face. I always thought it was sweet before, but now it feels like that stupid dangling carrot. A dreadful taunt.

  “He’s good. He’s not here in Richmond, though. He had to go to Charleston, West Virginia this morning for an assignment at another station until Thursday.”

  “At least you got to spend some time with him.”

  “Yeah. We went to a few places, which was really cool. We went to Bethany’s and then to Fenwick Island lighthouse. His mom took us to Cape Henlopen State Park. After that, he took me to his high school and showed me where he played baseball.”

  “Sounds like you two were busy. I saw his dare. I had to watch it twice, I was so in shock. I even watched it a third and fourth time when I showed your grandparents and then Jared.” Is that a good thing?

  “What did you all think?”

  “We thought it was…nice, I guess is the word I want to say? Your grandmother asked why he hasn’t proposed to you yet.” Here we go. Since the day I told my family Finn and I were officially together, my grandmother has been pestering me about marrying him. She said I need to “reel him in,” as if he’s a wild game fish.

  I tilt my chair back and put my wrist across my forehead, dreading my next revelation. “Um, well, he did ask me to move in with him.”

  “I figured he probably would at some point.” He suddenly takes on a stern tone. “Are you?”

  “Yes.”

  He sighs. “Hadley.”

  “What?” I feel like I’m being scolded for not cleaning my room.

  “Aren’t you two ever going to get married? You’ve been dating for a long time now. Why aren’t you at least getting engaged before moving in together?”

  I glance over at the two office doors before I raise my voice. “Dad, I’m 33 years old!”

  “I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, but aren’t you ever going to marry him?”

  “Why are you pushing marriage when yours didn’t even work out? You’ve never told me to marry Finn before. So, why now?” That was harsh.

  “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just getting older and even more old-fashioned in my ways.” That must be another family trait. “I mean, I’m not naïve to think that you’re not sleeping with him, but still, I just wish you two would get married already.” My mouth falls open and I nearly have a heart attack from his statement about me having sex. “I told you when I met him that he’s your future husband. I knew it then. I know it now. What’s taking so long?” I have to bite my finger so I don’t explode.

  I blow out a whoosh of air and lean forward onto my desk. “We’ve talked about it, but have just decided to move in together for now. We’ve been dating for three years. Don’t you think we are way overdue to move in together?”

  “I think you’re way overdue for a wedding. Am I ever going to walk you down the aisle before I die?”

  “Dad, you’re being a tad melodramatic. Does it really matter if we’re married?” Who am I? Why am I defending Finn’s viewpoint yet again to someone else in our family?

  Because Finn and I are a team. That’s why. Maybe we should get uniforms.

  “Well, you should at least get married before you have kids together. And, your grandmother would love to see her only granddaughter in a wedding dress, hopefully sooner than later.”

  “Thanks for the oh-so-needed pressure,” I grumble acerbically. I’m done with this. “I have to get back to work.”

  “Okay. I love you. I’m not trying to be an old stick in the mud. I want my baby girl happy and I know you want to marry Finn. You belong together.”

  I look up as my door slowly opens. Rod slips into my office quietly, aware that I’m on the phone. “We will someday, just not now.”

  Rod sits down and waits until I hang up before saying, “Can you believe there is a dude that will work here with such a weird name?”

  I give him a meaningful look. “No, Rod. I never thought of that ever happening.”

  He rolls his eyes. “I was just going through this jerk’s office, but I can’t find anything about him.”

  I look up from my phone as I drop it on the desk. “You were snooping through a new guy’s office? Gee, Shaggy. He’s worked here all of zero days. I’m sure there are a ton of clues! Maybe even a Scooby Snack for you in the near-future?”

  He rips off a pink Post-It from my desk, balls it up and wings it at my face. “Zip it the hell up, Hadders! I was just checking. Damn. You’re even grouchier than you were earlier.” I take a sip of my now-cold coffee at the exact moment he says, “Did you get a visit from Aunt Blow yet?” Startling even myself, I unceremoniously spray my coffee all over my desk and all over Rod.


  “Hadders!” he squeals and jumps out of his seat. “Shit!”

  Covering my mouth, I cough and try not to laugh at the coffee dripping down his Smurf tie. “Aunt Blow? I’m so sorry, Rod. I didn’t mean to!”

  He scoffs and grabs a handful of tissues from the box on my desk, urgently trying to clean off his tie. “Well doesn’t it blow? Shit! You did this on purpose because I sprayed you with beer!” He tosses the tissues over my desk and into my wastebasket. “It’s a good thing I keep spare clothes in my desk.”

  I dubiously laugh. “You do? Why?”

  “Because I knew you’d eventually do something to try to get my clothes off!” I frown as he turns to walk out of the room.

  I blurt out, “Wait!”

  Rod stops and eyes me skeptically. “What? Are you going to now hose me with creamer?”

  I walk past him and shut the door. “No. I wanted to ask you something.”

  He puts his hands on his hips. “I never dry clean. It’s a waste of money.”

  “That’s good to know, but that’s not what I was going to ask. What do you find so captivating about Shasta?”

  He wrinkles his forehead at my question. “What do you mean?”

  “Besides the obvious, what do men find irresistible about her? Why would you want to sleep with her?”

  “So, you don’t think I’m gay?”

  Rolling my eyes, I say, “I know you’re not. Just answer my questions.” His face lights up.

  He shrugs and gazes thoughtfully out the window overlooking the cemetery. “I don’t know. Women like her remind me of Christmas lights. They’re pretty to look, even fun to twist into different configurations above your bed, but they’re a bitch to drag out of the house and a pain in the ass to get rid of. Plus, once the novelty of Christmas wears off, they’re passé. You want them out of your sight.”

  Astonished by his reasoning and that he actually put thought into it, I stammer, “What the hell, Rod?”

  He looks at me again. “Why are you asking?” He purses his lips as his good-humored mood slips down a notch. “Do you think Wilder is cheating on you?”

  “No. I just wanted to know. That’s all. She’s beautiful. Why haven’t you asked her out?”