Marry Me Twice

by Monica Walters

  I could tell that it pained him to talk about his family and I hated that for him. I’d always had my family’s love and support. They knew that coming to America was the best thing for me. Rubbing my hand over his face, I said, “Well, I still can’t wait to meet them and your mother.”

  He’d already told me about his parents, mainly his father. I knew from that conversation that he held a lot of anger inside because of the things his father did and said to him. Haji held resentment in his heart also because of the things his father didn’t say to him. I knew he and his mother were close at some point, but since his dad had died, things had been awkward. He kissed my cheek and said, “I’m not gonna be like your past relationships. Although I’ve never been in a real relationship, I’m determined to make this between us work. I’m ready to fall in love and have a family, I just hadn’t met the right person to do that with until I met you.”

  My heart was pierced and the blood from it was healing me from the inside out. Sitting up in his arms, I straddled him. He averted his gaze and I knew he wanted me to move, but I refused. I put my hands on both sides of his face, forcing him to look at me. After kissing his lips, I said, “Haji?”

  He rested his hands on my back, then slid them to my hips as he stared at my chest. “Mmm-hmm.”

  “Touch me…”

  He licked his lips and brought his hands to my neck, gently squeezing it as I closed my eyes. A soft moan left my lips, then he pulled me closer to him. His hands slid around to my back and he gripped my ass like he did yesterday. A soft groan left his lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I just wanted to be free to decide what I wanted without living in fear of what could happen. Just like I was in everyday life, I wanted to be that way in relationships as well. Feeling his touch moved me in ways unfathomable and I wanted to explore more. “Haji,” I whispered.

  “Pretty Black, you know what this can lead to. I don’t think you’re ready yet.”

  He slid his hands in my leggings and grabbed my bare ass and the moan that left me shocked even me with how passionate it sounded. When he stood with me in his arms, I opened my eyes and wrapped my legs around him, staring into his eyes like I’d seen God. Going up the stairs, he passed my room and went straight to his, then laid me on the bed. I was so ready to give him all of me. It even felt like my tights were wet.

  Haji hovered over me with his clothes still on and kissed me like I was a priceless jewel deep from the mines of Sierra Leone. When his lips traveled to my neck, I couldn’t help but hold his head there, letting him saturate me in what he was feeling for me… tenderness, care, and affection. Lifting his head, he stared at me and said, “I want to please you, Chinara, but I don’t want you changing your mind about what you said. I’m prepared to wait. I don’t plan to leave you like this, though.”

  “Haji… pleeeaase take me,” I moaned as I arched my back.

  He slid his fingers down my chest to the waistband of my pants, then lifted my hips and pulled them down, taking my underwear with them. Kissing my legs as he pulled my garments over my feet, he moaned. Feeling his lips ascend my calf, I opened my eyes to look at him. When he got in view of my pussy, he spread my legs open wider and stared at it. I was trembling, wanting him to kill the foreplay and teasing. “Damn, she’s beautiful,” he whispered.

  When he got close to where I needed him most, I could feel him breathing on it, taking in her scent, when he suddenly tongue kissed her. I picked my hips up to his mouth, trying to drown him in my juices as he gently sucked the inner lips of my pussy. “Hajiii… oh my God.”

  His tongue licked my opening like it was leaking maple syrup, then shortly after he slid his fingers inside as his mouth went to my clit. He moaned out his indulgence as he stroked me, caressing my G-spot. I felt like I was about to levitate because my climax was near. Not having a man to make me feel this pleasure in five years, then to be met with a fucking professional at the sport, had me about to climb the walls. I held his head as I lifted from the bed to watch him.

  That only made what I was feeling more intense. Taking his fingers from me, he sucked them, then said, “You taste better than I fucking imagined, Pretty Black. I could suck on your fruit all damn day.”

  I was about to erupt. My body was screaming for relief and Haji was on the verge of getting me there. But now he was only staring at it, begging it to freely give him what he wanted instead of him having to take it. “Chinara, cum for me, baby. Give daddy that B-12,” he said softly against my pussy, producing a chill that ran through my body.

  He was purposely prolonging my orgasm, making me feel like I was on the verge of insanity. Slowly, he slid his fingers back inside of me, then laid his lips on my clit and hummed. “Oooooh!” I screamed.

  Just like that, I was right back on the verge of giving it all to him. He began sucking my clit as he massaged my G-spot and my orgasm broke through like water at a compromised damn. My screams only fueled Haji’s assault and he licked and sucked me faster, flattening his tongue whenever he could. Once the feeling subsided, he kissed my inner thighs and said, “I can’t wait to make love to this tight pussy.”

  He licked his lips, then stood from the bed, going to the bathroom. I was somewhat confused because I was waiting to feel him inside of me. When he came back with a towel, I wanted to cry. He must have seen the disappointment on my face because a smirk appeared on his lips. “What’s wrong, Chinara?”

  “I want more.”

  “Naw. I gotta get the blood test Monday, remember? Plus, you ain’t ready.”

  “I’m sooo ready. You gon’ make me beg?”

  “It won’t change things.”

  Glancing down at his crotch, I could see how hard he was. “Let me help that rocket take off. It’s full of fuel and just need to be ignited. Let me, Haji.”

  He gently cleaned me up with an amused look on his face. “Chinara, when I give you all this dick, you gon’ be telling me shit you ain’t ready to tell me, whether it’s in your mouth or in this fat pussy. I realized what you needed when you were talking. You need me to take things slow. So tomorrow, we’re going on a date.”

  He’d never looked in my eyes while he was talking. His eyes stayed on the object of his affection. I knew he wanted me, but because of me being scared, he was gonna make me wait. But to have to wait after the tongue lashing he’d just given me was torture. I wanted more. “Haji, I’m ready. I need to feel you… please.”

  He stood to his feet and yanked me from the bed. My eyes widened as my pussy throbbed, hoping that he would fill it. He walked to the nearest wall and almost threw me against it. My legs tightened around him as he watched our pelvises meet. Rolling my hips against him, I could see my juices leaking on his pants. “You don’t want to feel all this wrapped around you, Haji?”

  “You know I do. But I don’t want you to regret it. I want you to be sure you’re ready… clear-headed. Right now, you soaring from the head you just got… above the damn clouds.”

  Letting me slide to the floor, he left the room quick as hell. Doing my best to go after him on wobbly legs, I saw him enter the hallway bathroom and close the door. Walking down the hallway, I heard him grunting, just as he heard me last time. I knocked on the door, then rested my head against it. Like him, I’d never begged a man for his dick, but shit, I needed it. I didn’t have a dildo to somewhat quench my thirst. “Haji…”

  He opened the door and it looked like his dick was hanging to his fucking knees. I knew that those legs were bowed out like that for a reason. My mouth immediately watered. “This that shit you want, Pretty Black. You sure you ready for this? It’s gon’ have you speaking in languages you didn’t even know you knew. Go get a condom out of my nightstand drawer.”

  I was in a trance, though. He was stroking it and it was dripping excellence that I wanted to lay up under and catch… every drop. The desire that I felt was foreign to me. He walked closer to me as my breathing picked up and asked, “You gon’ go get it or what?”

  He rubbed
his dick against my stomach, and I reached out to grab it. Slapping my hand, he said, “Condom, before I change my mind about fucking up yo’ insides.”

  I nearly ran to the bedroom. That veiny muscle looked like it was strong enough to handle a demolition all by itself… pure wrecking-ball status. I hurriedly grabbed a condom and got back to him in record time. He snatched the condom from me and tore it open. The calm, tender demeanor he had before was long gone and I was scared for my virgin-like pussy. Once he slid it on, he yanked me to him and picked me up. “No turning back, no regrets, no crawfishing. At this point, after I penetrate this pussy, it’s mine… whenever I want it, wherever I need it.”

  I nodded quickly, holding my breath. While I expected him to penetrate me roughly, he slowly lowered me on him. The slow stretching of my insides to accommodate his size was painful but I knew it would be worth it in just a few minutes. I pulled my shirt over my head and Haji immediately pulled my nipple into his mouth as he lowered me more. “Oh shit!” I yelled.

  My nails had already begun to dig into his shoulders. Lifting me slightly, he began a slow rhythm that felt so damn good, I was literally speechless. My screams and words were unintelligible, and I’d forgotten English altogether. “Oluwa mi o! Fokii mi!”

  Apparently, Haji understood Yoruba and knew that I’d said, Oh my God! Fuck me! He lowered me more on his dick and I knew he’d bypassed my cervix. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sank my teeth into his shoulder. “I’m sorry. You okay?”

  “Yes,” I whispered as the tears fell from my eyes. “Keep going.”

  I thought at that point I had taken it all. Knowing that he had more that hadn’t experienced the warmth and tightness of my walls somewhat deflated me. I tried not to think about not being able to satisfy him, but I couldn’t help it. However, when he lifted me again and began working his dick inside of me, the feelings of enjoyment were returning. Walking down the hallway to his room, he said, “I’m sorry, Chinara. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Shhh.”

  He laid me on the bed, then climbed atop me. “Do you want to continue?”

  When he saw the tears in my eyes, he wiped them and rolled over to the bed. “Haji, I want you to continue. It may be painful this time, but next time will be better. Please, don’t stop,” I said as I rubbed his chest.

  Hovering back over me, he stared into my eyes as he slowly pushed inside of me, biting his bottom lip. His slow pace felt good and this position seemed to be easier for me to handle. As he worked into a nice rhythm, he grabbed my neck and hooked my leg with his other arm. “This better, baby?”

  “Yeah. So… much… better,” I panted.

  When he pushed more into me, it wasn’t as painful and I was able to handle it, but my disappointment with myself was floating through my head. How could I place stipulations on who he fucked? I couldn’t handle all of him and that fucked with my mental.

  11

  Haji

  “Relax. I can see you’re tense, Chinara. I understand that it’s been five years and this shit ain’t yo’ average-sized dick.”

  I smiled at her and swiped the tears from her eyes. As I pulled out of her, my dick screamed. I didn’t nut because I could see she was in pain. I’d tried to give her too much at once. I hated that because her pussy felt so damn good. Getting up from the bed, I went to the bathroom and ran her some bathwater, then threw the condom in the wastebasket. I sat on the edge of the tub and thought about how I should have waited. I shouldn’t have let her pressure me into fucking her yet. She wasn’t ready to be fucked.

  Going back to the room, I helped her from the bed and pulled her in my arms. “Don’t cry. I was too rough and anxious to get inside of you. Next time will be better. Okay?”

  She nodded and I led her to the bathroom. I’d have to get at her before I got so worked up like I was. That way I could take things slow with her. I felt horrible. “Just soak for a while, baby. You need anything?”

  She shook her head, but I was sure she could use a drink. I kissed her forehead, then left her in the bathroom. Going downstairs, I poured her a glass of wine, then set the alarm and made my way back up. She’d gotten in the tub, so I handed the wine to her and sat the bottle on the floor next to her. This shit was my fault. I should have known better. Rubbing my hand down my face, I sat on the edge of the bed. My phone began ringing and when I saw Jarius’s number, I grabbed it and left the room. “What’s up?” I answered.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think y’all were in love. That shit looked so natural.”

  “It was natural, man. She my woman, for real.”

  “Damn! Yo’ slick ass! We gon’ have to hook up so we can talk freely. That ring is nice, though.”

  “Thanks, bruh. We definitely gon’ have to hook up, but it may have to wait until next weekend when I come to get my cut.”

  “You a’ight? You sound kind of… I don’t know… upset about something.”

  “We’ll talk next week. But I need to go check on Pretty Black.”

  “She’s beautiful, Haji. I’m glad things may work out for the best after all.”

  “Thanks, bruh. Talk to you later.”

  “A’ight.”

  Making my way back to my bedroom, I could hear that Chinara was still in the tub. I thought I was gonna be able to jack off, but my dick was completely flaccid now. Just knowing I’d hurt her had taken my drive. He wasn’t even tryna wake up now. I should have known better than starting in the position I started in with her. Damn. It was too late for regrets, though. I just needed to make sure that she knew it wasn’t her fault and that we would get where we needed to be next time… whenever she was ready to try again.

  She was so fucking wet, though. Even though she was hurting, her pussy was still lubing that condom up. I could feel her juices leaking to my balls. Her facial expressions and her tears are what caused me to stop. Had I not seen that I would have nutted all in that shit.

  After another thirty minutes, I could hear her letting the water out of the tub. I stood to go help her get situated. Knocking on the door, she opened it for me, already in her nightshirt. The glass was empty and upon further inspection, the bottle was practically empty, too. She smiled at me and said, “You wanna try again?”

  “Naw. You better get some rest. Let’s give it a couple of days and give that sweet pussy time to recuperate.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m more than sure. You deserve better.”

  “So do you.”

  “Let me help you to bed.”

  “Can I sleep with you?”

  “You a lil tipsy, Chinara. You sure you want to?”

  “Yep. I just wanna lay close to you and let you hold me in your arms.”

  “A’ight.”

  I led her to my bed, then plugged my charger up to my phone. This would be a first for me. Holding a woman all night in my bed had never happened. I refused to allow it. Now my heart was giddy with excitement to feel her next to me. It gave me a sense of need… like she needed me to protect her, take care of her, and comfort her. For now, that satisfaction was enough.

  “What’s this I see on your page? I didn’t know you had a girlfriend and now you are engaged to be married?”

  “No one ever asked. You all just assume that you know every aspect of my life. I let all of you keep your assumptions.”

  I’d FaceTimed my brother Umaru and he happened to be at Mama’s house, which was perfect. Kevin’s ass was there, too. Just as Mama’s face appeared on the screen, Chinara walked by in the background as we had discussed she would do. Mama’s eyes widened. “Is that her, pikin? She’s more beautiful than any uman you could have found in Salone.”

  She often mixed Krio dialect within her English. Pikin meant child and uman meant woman. I smiled slightly because she was right. Chinara was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, that included in Salone and the U.S. “That’s her. Her name is Chinara.”

  “Can she come to the phone? Is she fro
m Texas?”

  “She’s from Lagos.”

  The wide-eyed expression on my mother’s face made me smile even more. They thought they knew so much about me. But they didn’t know a got damn thing. “Pretty Black Doll,” I called out.

  Umaru’s face brightened at my nickname for her. “Yeah, baby?”

  “My family would like to meet you.”

  She smiled and made her way to me, sitting on the couch beside me. Leaning over, she kissed my cheek, then looked at the camera and smiled big. All of her belonged to me. Chinara was so beautiful. She left me in awe every time she smiled. Even in a t-shirt and wind shorts, with her hair piled atop her head, she was the sexiest woman alive. “Wow… Kusheh,” my mama said, clearly in awe of Chinara’s beauty.

  “Kusheh,” Chinara said back.

  “Mama, she doesn’t speak the language fluently. She speaks English, Yoruba, Igbo, and Hausa.”

  “I apologize, Chinara. You’re so beautiful.”

  “No problem. Thank you so much. I see where Haji gets his good looks from.”

  My mama blushed as Kevin brought his slick ass into view. I put my arm around Chinara and stared at her like they weren’t on the phone. “You sure this ain’t fake? You probably struck a deal with her to get your money.”

  Chinara frowned harder than she did when I first tried to talk to her, calling her Pretty Black Doll. She quickly took the phone from my hand as she stared at him with fire in her eyes. “Nothing is fake about how I feel for this man. How dare you question something you know nothing about?”

  She stood from her seat next to me, gave me my phone, and walked off. Chinara was angry for real. It was sort of played up. There was no way we would be engaged already if it weren’t for the foolery with my dad’s will. When I looked back at the screen, Kevin was gone. Umaru had a frown on his face as did Mama. Seeing Chinara’s frown affected them. Her frowns affected me, too. But I knew they were sort of embarrassed by what he said. She’d gone to the kitchen and was warming us some food from the boil yesterday. That deer meat and rabbit were so tender and good. Neither of us could get enough of it.