My Christmas Boyfriend

by S J Crabb

  As we head off I decide to prepare him for what's waiting for us. I cough nervously and say quietly.

  ‘Listen, Liam, I had better warn you about something.’

  He looks interested. ‘Go on, I'm intrigued.’

  I sink back into my seat. ‘My mother has an unhealthy obsession with the Famous Five.’

  He laughs incredulously and I carry on.

  ‘She runs this Holiday Let business from Kirrin Cottage. It goes way beyond a gimmick though. I'm called Anne for a reason and my sister Gina is really Georgina, my mum calls her George. My father sometimes refers to my mum as his little Fanny and I want the ground to open up and swallow me now because you must be wondering what the hell is going on.’

  Both Liam and the driver dissolve into fits of laughter. The driver shouts. ‘Sounds like spiffing fun children.’

  I groan. Liam wipes his eyes and looks at me softly. ‘Well, I can cope with that, Anne! It's not that bad, really. Don't worry.’

  I smile nervously. He won't be saying that after a few days with them that much I do know.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I think we've exhausted every Famous Five joke there is by the time we pull into the Avenue.

  Despite my dread, my heart lifts as I see my home rising before me, surrounded by the sea fret that clings to this coast in all its eerie splendour.

  Just like in the books, a little-thatched cottage awaits us surrounded by beautiful gardens. Behind it lies the sea that sparkles on a good day. Not today though. This sea fret is ominous and matches my mood perfectly.

  To the right of the house are the holiday lets that my parents run. They used to be stables and have been converted into luxury accommodation for the many tourists that flock to these parts. In total there are five of them and they are always fully booked. Not now though. It's Christmas and one thing my mother loves, even more than the Famous Five, is Christmas.

  She must hear the crunch of the gravel on the drive as we approach because she flings the door open and comes running. My heart leaps as I behold my mother. For all her madness I do love her very much. She makes it impossible not to and I race from the car into her loving, welcome, arms.

  Just for a moment I cling to her. I take comfort in her warm embrace and take deep breaths of her familiar perfume.

  She grips me tightly and says softly, ‘Welcome home, Anne. We've missed you so much.’

  She draws back and looks at me, the love shining from her eyes.

  I smile at her and tears cloud my view. Despite dreading every minute of what may happen, I love being here. I'm glad I came because they are just what I need right now.

  I see her look behind me and then remember Liam.

  Before I can even speak she is on him like a wasp on jam.

  ‘You must be Anne's boyfriend. I'm so pleased to meet you.’

  She turns to me and raises her eyes. ‘Gosh, Anne, you've done well with him, he's gorgeous.’

  I roll my eyes at Liam who grins and allows himself to be led inside by my overfamiliar mother.

  I follow them in and gaze around my childhood home.

  Everything is still the same and I take a deep breath. Home at last.

  She leads us into the living room and I'm surprised to see Gina is here already. Standing next to her by the fireplace must be her boyfriend.

  Mum pulls Liam in and smiles happily. ‘Look who's here. Now the family is complete.’

  She turns to me and waves towards Gina and her boyfriend. ‘Anne, you haven't met Dick yet, have you?’

  I just stare at Gina - Dick!! You've got to be kidding me. She looks at me with a smug expression and I narrow my eyes. Dick moves across the small - now quite crowded, room and goes to shake Liam's hand.

  ‘I'm pleased to meet you…’

  Liam grins and says, ‘Lia….’ I quickly interrupt and say a little hysterically, ‘Lian, short for Julian.’

  My sister's face is a picture and I stare at her with a smug expression. There, two can play at this game.

  My mother claps her hands with excitement. ‘Oh, my goodness. What an amazing coincidence.’

  Gina drawls, ‘Yes, isn't it just?’

  Liam looks at me in surprise and I smile at him apologetically.

  He recovers well though and smiles around at everyone.

  ‘Um yes, Julian. But my friends call me Liam or Lian. Either one is fine.’

  Gina smiles and Dick grins around at us all. Mum takes charge and gestures for us to take a seat.

  ‘Take a seat everyone, while I go in search of your father. I think he's fiddling with his erection in the garden. I won't be long.’

  I daren't even look at Liam and Gina rolls her eyes. ‘Oh, it's so good to be home.’

  I look at her and we grin. She nods towards Liam. ‘So, Julian hey, quick reaction. I'm impressed.’

  I laugh and point at Dick. ‘Dick, how original. Are we allowed to know your real name?’

  He grins. ‘That is my real name.’

  Liam snorts and I look horrified. ‘You're kidding me.’

  Gina bursts out laughing and turns to Dick. ‘I told you she wouldn't believe us.’

  She looks at me and grins. ‘Actually, it's Richard, but for obvious reasons, he agreed to go by Dick this week. Good luck with carrying on the pretence over old Ju here.’

  Liam laughs and rolls his eyes. ‘Well, I was warned.’

  Suddenly, a little furry bundle races into the room and jumps all over me.

  Liam looks at the gorgeous puppy and snorts. ‘Timmy, I suppose.’

  Dick laughs as I grin at them. ‘Timmy number three, actually. He stems from a long line of Timmy’s that have graced our presence over the years. It saves on dog tags and named pet bowls.’

  Gina looks around and rolls her eyes. ‘So, the Famous Five are all present and correct. Mum must be in seventh heaven.’

  We hear footsteps approaching and my heart lifts as my dad follows my mum into the room. I race over to him and hug him for all I'm worth. ‘I missed you, dad.’

  He hugs me back tightly and whispers. ‘Not as much as I missed you baby girl.’

  My mum claps her hands and says loudly. ‘Now, you must all be starving. I've prepared a small feast for you all and then I'll show the guys their accommodation and you girls can settle back into your old rooms. This is going to be so much fun.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  As usual mum has excelled herself and we eat far too much. We all fall into an easy chatter and just talk about general things for most of the meal.

  Liam tells them about his photography and I skirt around the issue of my unemployment.

  Gina talks about her work, which almost puts us off eating and Dick chats about the exciting world of detecting.

  After we have eaten, mum stands up and smiles at the guys.

  ‘Follow me and I'll get you both settled in. Anne and George are in their usual rooms and when you're all done maybe you can go for a relaxing walk or something.’

  I smirk at Gina. As if, it's freezing out there and I think I can hear rain. No, I intend on taking Liam to the local pub for a much-needed brandy.

  Liam grins at me as he follows mum and Richard from the room.

  Dad drifts off back to his erection, which thankfully turned out to be the 8ft Christmas tree that my mother has insisted on in the courtyard. She has invited the local church carol singers to sing for us all on Christmas Eve, with the promise of mulled wine and mince pies, alongside a hefty donation to the cause.

  I follow Gina upstairs to our childhood bedrooms. Our rooms have their own private staircase at one end of the house. We loved this as children because it was as if we had our home. The most irritating thing is I must access my room through Gina's and we had many an argument when I was banned from her room, which made life extremely difficult.

  We get to Gina's room, and she dumps her cases and sinks back onto her single bed covered with a pink satin eiderdown.

  She looks at me and grins
. ‘Some things never change.’

  I laugh. ‘Yes, everything seems so small now. Do you remember how big it all seemed when we were children? I mean, my flat isn't exactly big, but the rooms are a whole lot bigger than the ones in this cottage.

  Gina laughs. ‘I agree. My flat in Milton Keynes is quite big and much more modern than this little cottage. I do miss the place though.’

  I nod in agreement.

  ‘She laughs and her eyes flash. ‘Well, I must say you've surprised me. Liam is totally gorgeous and nothing at all like I imagined. How did you land him?’

  I smirk. ‘Oh, you know, it was my irresistible charm and good looks that he couldn't resist.’

  She laughs. ‘More like you got him roaring drunk in that nightclub you're always going about. I can't imagine why he's stayed now he's sobered up.’

  I pull a face and throw a nearby embroidered cushion at her.

  ‘What about Dick? Don't tell me his name attracted you and you went out with him to please mum. You always did everything to be her favourite.’

  Gina grins wickedly. ‘Says you, Julian indeed. The poor guy must wonder what he's got himself into.’

  She looks at me and her expression turns more serious.

  ‘Actually, Richard and I are very much in love. It's only been three months but we already almost live together and have even talked about getting our own place.’

  I smile happily. ‘I'm happy for you, Gina. He seems nice.’

  She looks misty-eyed all of a sudden which isn't like her at all. ‘Yes, it's shocked me really. Maybe you will fall as fast for Liam and mum's dream of the Famous Five will come true.’

  I smile, but my heart sinks. If only it were true. The trouble is, this time next week, Liam could be gone from my life forever. Far from living the dream, it would now appear that I'm living the nightmare. If they really knew of my situation I wonder what they would make of it.

  Guys like Liam don't end up with accountants, especially ones that can't hold down a job or a boyfriend, with the threat of eviction looming. No, Liam will head home, probably very quickly, after spending a few more days in this madhouse. He will head back to his glamorous life and probably vow never to travel by British Rail again due to the undesirables it attracts. April will beg for his forgiveness and they will go on to be a beautiful super-couple that mixes with the jet set and attends premieres and 'A-list' parties. I will watch them from my settee and dream of the few short days that I had such an amazing boyfriend.

  Gina looks at me with curiosity and says softly. ‘What is it, Annie? You look sad.’

  I shrug and laugh nervously. ‘Oh, take no notice of me. I think I'm sleep deprived. Let me dump these bags and we can find the others. I have an overwhelming urge to re-acquaint myself with the Anchor Inn.’

  I know I haven't fooled my sister. She was always astute, which is why she is so good at her job. Nothing gets past her and I must try to keep my feelings in check. Nobody must know the real reason Liam is here. They would never let me forget it and tease me forever.

  Leaving her behind, I head through the door in the corner of her room to mine.

  It's exactly as I left it and my heart leaps, as I see my childhood laid out before me. The poster of Take That is still there with pride of place on the wall above my bed. Mr. Puddles, my childhood bear is sitting by my pillows, his arm around Winnie the Pooh and his feet on Tinky-Winky.

  There are some photographs on the wall that I made into a collage detailing my school life. I look at them with a pang as I see the younger me, problem free and grinning from the photographs with innocence looking out to a brighter future.

  I had it all before me. I was going to make something of my life. I always knew I wanted to ditch the sleepy little village in Dorset and experience city living. London seemed so exciting and full of possibilities. I would move to the bright lights and never look back.

  It would be where my dreams of a better future would come true. My future was there among the skyscrapers. I would take London by storm and come home successful and happy. My old classmates who dismissed me and laughed about my Famous Five obsessed family would envy me and regret the day they cast me from their groups.

  I would show them all. Annie Anderson would turn into a successful swan and they would boast that they once knew me and claim me as a friend.

  As I pick up Mr. Puddles, I wonder how many dried tears are contained within his fur. He was my best friend. I used to snuggle up to him at night and let my hurt and anxiety pour into him. He understood. He comforted me in my hour of need. I didn't need to be popular to keep his love; I was his world and he never let me down. Here he is again, waiting to receive my grief at the realisation that I have made a mess of things once again.

  I walk over to the window and look out at the misty vista. A familiar view that has transported me back in time. Back where I started with almost nothing to show for my travels.

  I see Richard and Liam walking back towards the house laughing at something. Probably wondering what the hell they've got themselves into with us.

  As I watch them my heart flutters. Liam Goodwin, the sexy stranger from the train who has somehow managed to capture my heart. We have become good friends and I'll miss him when he heads back to his perfect world, leaving me as memory.

  Why do I always want what I can't have? I would be better off staying around here and getting a job in Weymouth. I could meet someone and settle down and live the life I was always meant to. Girls like me don't have it all. We have what life decides is right for us. Sexy, gorgeous, successful men are reserved for people like April Loveday.

  Shaking myself out of my doom and gloom I place Mr. Puddles back on the bed lovingly and head downstairs to spend what little time I have left with Liam.

  Chapter Twenty

  The four of us head off to the local establishment. The Anchor is your typical cosy village pub. The fire is warm and welcoming, as is the landlord who smiles at the frozen strangers staggering through its doors, in need of warmth and sustenance.

  Vincent has run this pub since I can remember. Along with his wife Jackie, they have served almost every person who has travelled through these sleepy shores.

  Once again, my heart sings with familiarity and I smile happily at him, as he shouts.

  ‘Look who the cat dragged in. The Anderson sisters. We haven't seen you two around here for a while. You home for Christmas?’

  Gina laughs. ‘For our sins. Which is why you're our first port of call.’

  We all laugh and then order some mulled wine that cannot be ignored, due to the intoxicating aroma that it gives off.

  We take one of the coveted seats by the open fire and sit, sipping our warming drinks and finally relax.

  I watch as Gina snuggles close to Richard and feel happy that she has found love. He seems like a great guy and they are obviously very happy.

  Liam shifts closer and leans down whispering, ‘I don't know why you were so worried. Your family is lovely and have made me much more welcome than mine did you. You are very lucky.’

  I smile. ‘Yes, they are lovely. That was never in doubt. The trouble is, they are a little eccentric and not everybody understands that. Madness follows them and if you're not used to it, it can all seem very odd.’

  Liam laughs softly. ‘I quite like having a little madness in my life. These last few days have taught me that. Despite everything that happened at the wedding, I enjoyed spending it with you.’

  His words light up my heart. He's right. Despite how awful things were, I still enjoyed myself. He is great company, and I did like his friends. Maybe I should just savour the time we do have together and make an amazing memory to tell my grandchildren.

  Liam grins and pulls me close to him and we sit side by side by the open fire. We are just content to sip our warming drinks, secure in the knowledge that it's all plain sailing from here.

  When we get home, my mum meets us looking extremely smart. ‘Hi guys, did you have a nice walk?�
��

  I look at Liam guiltily and his eyes twinkle. Gina nods.

  ‘Yes, thank you; that dealt with the city cobwebs, didn't it Dick?’

  He smiles and nods. ‘Yes, extremely exhilarating.’

  Mum smiles happily. ‘Well, head off to change everyone; your father is treating us all to dinner out. His treat, with no expense spared. Dress to impress as they say.’

  I look at Gina in shock. Since when could Dad afford to take us all out? It will blow their monthly budget.

  Gina looks just as confused. ‘Are you sure? I mean we could all chip in with the cost.’

  Mum looks annoyed. ‘Don't be ridiculous. It's our treat before the rest of the family descend on us tomorrow.’

  Gina groans. ‘Oh no, who's coming now?’

  Mum looks disapproving. ‘Don't be like that George. It's Christmas, the season of peace and goodwill to all men and women. The time for giving, not just receiving and charity begins at home.’

  Gina rolls her eyes and I look at my mum nervously.

  She smiles happily and starts ticking off names on her fingers.

  ‘Well there's granny of course, but don’t tell her I called her that.’

  We laugh because my Gran is one of a kind. We must call her Lizzie because she is in denial about her age. Despite being in her mid-70s, she lives as if she's still 21. Completely up to date and embracing all the modern conveniences. She lives in a nearby McCarthy Stone community where she lives life to the full.

  Mum continues. ‘Then there's you, Aunt Rose and the twins, Elliott and Barney.’

  Gina groans. ‘Oh, not those two. We had better make the most of the peace and quiet while we can. Please say you've put them in the furthest room away from the house?’

  Mum throws her a warning look and continues. ‘Unfortunately, Steven is still away on the oil rigs until the New Year, so we will have to throw them a little more love than usual because they will be missing their daddy. Then lastly, we have invited Major Wilson. He was at a loose end and so we agreed he could extend his stay until the 2nd of January. I know we don't usually include the guests, but he has become more like family over the years and his son is in South Africa.’