Addicted to You

by Renita Pizzitola

  And call me crazy, but maybe he couldn’t either, considering his eyelids suddenly looked heavy, and his breathing deepened as our chests brushed against one another. In fact, I was almost certain we were about to kiss.

  My tongue slid over my bottom lip as I tilted my head ever so slightly.

  His gaze moved from my mouth to my eyes and back to my mouth. And then…Colby stepped back. Like literally took one foot, moved it a good distance away from me, then followed with the other.

  I blinked, not sure how to respond to such a physical act of rejection, then quickly rebounded, forcing my mouth into a smile. “That’s good, because nothing should change that.” I turned away, reaching for the door handle, ready to get in the car before I screamed or cried or both. “See you Sunday.”

  The feelings of hurt mixed with disappointment felt heavy in my chest. My heart ached with longing and sadness, and I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could handle.

  I pulled my phone back out, tapped Felicity’s name, and prayed this time she’d answer. It rang three times before her sleepy voice came on the line.

  “Hey,” her grogginess made me wonder if this was the best time for a serious conversation.

  “Hey, sorry to wake you.”

  “It’s okay, I haven’t been asleep long. Everything okay?”

  Though the answer was a big fat no, I felt bad for pulling her from sleep.

  “Eh, I’ve been better, but why don’t you just call me back when you’re awake.”

  “Wait.” Her voice sounded clearer, more alert. “What’s going on?”

  “Colby drama. We can talk about it later.”

  “You sure?”

  There was always some self-created Colby drama in my life so I was positive Felicity didn’t take it too seriously. “Yeah, positive. Call me when you’re awake and have free time.”

  “Okay.” She paused then continued, “You’re sure? Nothing’s wrong? I’m here to listen.” Her sentence trailed off with a yawn.

  I laughed to mask what was really going on. “Go to sleep, Felicity.”

  “Okay, but we will talk soon. I want to hear all about the Colby drama!”

  “You will! Now get some sleep.”

  “Night, Isla.” She yawned again. “Talk to you later.”

  I hung up and stared at the flashing red traffic light. Like a beacon telling me to halt and go no further. But when it came to Colby, I doubted I’d ever learn.

  Chapter 5

  It didn’t matter that it was only breakfast. I woke up early. Fixed my hair. Dressed cute. And slapped a smile on my face. I wasn’t going to let Colby see the miserable, wallowing girl I’d become over the last two days. Nope. He’d only see the happy, carefree Isla who was good at one-night stands. We hadn’t spoken since what I’d thought was a near-kiss—but apparently just wishful thinking on my part—and it was of the utmost importance he had no clue how much that moment had wrecked me.

  I’d been foolish to think having one romantic moment with Colby would be better than never knowing what it’d be like to kiss him. Had we not hooked up, I could still be living in the fantasies of what if? But now I was stuck in the reality of what now? And sadly, I wasn’t sure our friendship would survive.

  So I’d mourned the loss of him for two days, then woke up this morning with plans to start fresh. I’d get over this awkwardness, put that night in the past, and stay focused on moving forward. But it wouldn’t hurt to look amazing while doing it…as a reminder of what he’d had. Not that he probably cared, but sometimes a little spite helped mend the soul. Or maybe that was just me.

  After breakfast I was heading to the beach with Taylor, who’d texted me after we hung out the other night. She seemed to also be in need of some female companionship, and as long as she was dating Matt, we’d probably be seeing a lot of one another. It seemed like a good situation for us both.

  The knock at the door dragged me from my thoughts. I checked my hair one last time in the mirror before heading into the living room, but Grandma had beat me to the door since she’d been cooking in the kitchen.

  Colby glanced over her shoulder as she gave him a hug. His gaze traveled down and his eyebrow rose slightly. So yeah, maybe I was a tiny bit overdressed for breakfast.

  Landon pulled me into a hug, forcing me to break eye contact with Colby.

  As I hugged him back, I teased, “So be honest, did you have to set an alarm to wake up this morning?”

  He pulled away with a frown and his eyebrows bunched together. “Alarm? I could smell your grandma’s cooking all the way in my bedroom.” He rubbed his stomach. “I couldn’t get here fast enough.”

  With a laugh, I rolled my eyes. “Okay, okay.” Then I whispered, “Suck-up.”

  He winked, and switched places with Colby. As Landon greeted Grandma, Colby and I stared at each other. But I wasn’t doing this. Nope. I was carefree Isla.

  I tiptoed to give him a big, friendly hug, then spun away and marched into the kitchen. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

  The conversation never had a dull moment as we ate. If there was one thing Landon and I had in common, it was our love of talking. And the best part about breakfast was seeing how much Grandma appreciated it. She’d always enjoyed being around family and friends, but since Mom and Dad had divorced and my brother, Luis, had moved away, it had been the two of us.

  I tried not to think about what it would be like for Grandma once I left to finish nursing school. She had a lot of friends but the thought of her living alone pretty much broke my heart. If the schedule wasn’t so demanding and the commute so far, I’d stay with her as long as I could. Of course, if I could convince her to move with me, I’d do that too, but that was laughable. She’d never leave Port Lucia. Not even with Clyne only an hour away.

  “Well, Ms. Diaz, breakfast was delicious as always.” Landon leaned back and patted his stomach. “If you ever need help with leftovers, you know who to call.”

  Grandma smiled as she stood and cleared her plate. “You’re welcome anytime. My kitchen is always open.”

  I laughed and everyone turned to me. “Sorry. I just had a visual. Like raccoons in a garbage can. You’re going to hear rummaging in the middle of the night…” I glanced around. “Sorry. It was funnier in my head.”

  Landon smirked, and shook his head. “Good thing you’re adorable.”

  Grandma chuckled. “You and that imagination.”

  I looked to Colby, missing the way he usually came to my defense or at least laughed with me instead of at me, but found him staring at Landon. Except it wasn’t a polite stare. His furrowed brow hooded his darkened gaze. Then he took a deep breath, blinked, and turned to me. His eyes widened slightly before he quickly stood, scooped up my plate as well as his, and took them to the kitchen sink. Grandma followed, asking him if work had been busy with the summer tourism fading.

  But what was that look? Why had Colby been eyeing Landon like he was public enemy number one? Did they have a fight on the way over? Or maybe I was overanalyzing what I’d seen. I brushed it off and headed to the kitchen to help clean up.

  “You got any plans later?” Landon asked as he joined us in the kitchen.

  Colby turned from where he’d just deposited dishes in the sink.

  “Actually, yeah.” I glanced back at Colby then to Landon. “I’m going to the beach. Why?”

  “There’s a band playing at Jack’s tonight. My boss is looking for a way to bring in more Sunday business. This was my idea. Hoping to get a packed house so he doesn’t regret listening to me.” He laughed.

  Call me crazy, but Colby seemed to relax as his stance softened and he leaned against the counter. “Are the guys going?” he asked.

  “Most of them. But the more girls we get in the doors, the more guys stick around.” Landon winked at me.

  “I could stop by later. I’ll bring Taylor.”

  Both guys stared at me as if I’d said the most outrageous thing ever. I rolled my eyes and threw my hands up. �
��What?”

  Colby shrugged. “You just never really hang out with other girls…besides Felicity.”

  “For your information, Taylor also happens to be who I’m going to the beach with. I’m not like a social pariah, you know? I can make new friends.” With my arms crossed, I gave them both a pointed stare.

  Colby chuckled—for the first time all morning—then said, “We know. Just surprised to hear you’re hanging out with Taylor. But good for you.”

  Was he freaking— “Thanks, Dad. I needed your stamp of approval.”

  “Uh-oh, you woke up feisty.” Landon stepped back, hands raised in surrender. “I didn’t say a thing. That was all Colby.”

  Grandma laughed. “Oh, you two.”

  Then she gave us that look. That one older people gave to younger people when they were convinced they were in love and belonged together. Problem was, she had only half of that equation right. My half. Which meant my feelings must have been pretty obvious. But wait…did that mean Colby also knew? And if so, did that make the sex even more awkward for him? Maybe that was why he was trying to distance himself from me. Like in some weird twisted way maybe he thought this was for my own good.

  I stared at him—my friend, the boy I’d been in love with for as long as I could remember—and felt…well, pathetic. I mean, I’d suspected my infatuation of epic proportions always had been, but actually hooking up with him…what was I thinking? I thought I could play off the friends with benefits, but the only one I had been trying to fool was myself.

  Colby’s eyebrows bunched together and he opened his mouth then quickly glanced around. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that to come out the way it did.” He studied me, like he was searching my expression for some sign of forgiveness or something, but he had no idea this was no longer about Taylor. It was about him. And what I meant to him. Or more importantly what I wasn’t to him.

  I forced a smile and shook my head. “No worries.” I shifted toward Landon. “I’ll be there tonight. Wouldn’t miss it.” Then I spun away and focused on loading the dishwasher.

  From that point on, the conversation trickled, and I was more than a little relieved when the guys finally left. A big part of me felt like a breakdown was looming, but if I could get some distance from Colby, I’d be able to suppress it, just like I’d done with every other emotion I’d had for him over the years. Nothing new there.

  —

  About an hour after they left, I dressed for the beach and waited for Taylor to pick me up. When my phone chimed with a text that she was parking, I said a quick goodbye to Grandma and headed out to meet her. No point in making her search for our apartment when I could save her a trip.

  I waved to her as she stepped out of her car wearing a cute sheer white cover-up over a pink bikini.

  She waved back. “Hey!” After she got over her initial nervousness at Colby’s, I’d discovered Taylor was as outgoing as me, but I hadn’t decided yet if our similar personalities would be a good thing or a disastrous one. “It’s so hot out! I can’t wait to hit the beach.”

  I glanced up. The sky was almost completely blue minus a few wisps of clouds. “Definitely.”

  After setting my beach bag on the backseat, I climbed in the passenger seat. Taylor started the engine and the air conditioner blasted through the car.

  She slid knobs and adjusted vents. “You can move these if you aren’t getting any air.”

  “Oh, thanks.” I repositioned the one closest to me. It was weird starting up a new friendship. Almost like dating. The easiest thing to do was probably just keep the conversation moving. “So Landon told me that Jack’s is going to have a band playing tonight. Want to check it out with me?”

  She practically bounced in her seat then laughed. “I was going to ask you the same thing.” As she pulled out of the parking lot, she glanced over at me and grinned. “Matt mentioned it, but I wanted to see if you were going before I decided if I would. But if you want to go together, I can tell him we’ll meet him there.”

  Way to third-wheel it. “Or I can meet you there?” I’d have to remember she actually had a boyfriend in order to avoid always intruding on their plans.

  She shook her head. “No way. I’d much rather go with you. If I get there before, I’ll just feel completely out of place until you get there. I don’t know what it is, but I just feel so…I don’t know, like maybe the guys don’t like me?” She shrugged a little, a look of apology on her face.

  “I’m sure they do. They’re great guys. Really easy to get along with.”

  “Well, you’ve hung out with them forever. I’ve always just been Brandon’s little sister. Now I’m Matt’s girlfriend. I don’t think they see me as a friend…”

  And here I’d thought my friendship with Taylor was helping me expand my social circle, but in reality, it was probably just as important to her.

  “I hadn’t really thought of it from your perspective. The guys are great though. And soon we won’t even be able to remember a time when you weren’t hanging around with us!” I offered a big smile.

  “I look forward to that.” She flipped on her blinker and turned into the parking lot for the public beach access. “Thanks, by the way.”

  Her smile was genuine but I wasn’t quite sure what she was thanking me for.

  She must have noticed because she clarified, “For making me feel welcome.”

  “Oh, I’m not—You are. I’m not just being nice or anything. You’re Brandon’s sister and Matt’s girlfriend. You’re more than welcome.”

  She glanced at me, a little wrinkle formed on her nose then she shook her head with a laugh. “Y’all are a pretty tight group. I guess maybe you don’t see it from the inside but, well, I’ve been on the sidelines for a while. I’ve seen how close you are and I know it’s weird having a new girl around—”

  “Hey, don’t feel like that. We’re just close because we’ve all known each other forever. But trust me, we’ve had our fair share of ‘new girls’ coming around and, by far, you’re the best.”

  She laughed as she parked. “Well, thank you. I think?”

  “Maybe that came out wrong. I just meant we’re glad to have someone like you around.” That didn’t sound much better. “Um, maybe just trust me on this one?”

  She nodded, clearly not offended at my rambling. “Of course.”

  We both hopped out and I couldn’t help but smile. Felicity had been gone for almost three months now, and it was nice to have a girl to hang out with.

  —

  We’d spent time talking on the beach, followed by a cool-down in the water, and were back to soaking in the sun’s rays, when a shadow blocked my light, and Taylor let out a squeal. I should have known it was Matt, but my eyes still flew open as I sat straight up, my heart pounding.

  “That was cold!” She swatted at Matt’s leg with one hand while drying her stomach with the other.

  Matt, who was holding a bottled water, just laughed, then grinned. “You looked hot.”

  But my gaze was back on the person standing a few feet in front of me. Colby. Of course.

  It shouldn’t have surprised me to see him, and not even a week ago I would have been thrilled over this unplanned visit. Except things had changed.

  Sure, my heart still raced and there was the tingling in my stomach, but now it wasn’t the butterflies of love. It was the twists of disappointment. My Colby wasn’t mine. And it seemed unlikely he ever would be.

  Chapter 6

  Using my hand as a shield from the sun, I looked up at Colby with his messy hair peeking out around his trademark hat. My mouth involuntarily twitched into a smile—what could I say, he’d always do it for me—but I quickly smothered it.

  “Hey.” He smiled.

  “Hey.” I went for friendly, with a touch of indifference.

  The sand molded under Colby as he kicked off his flip-flops and settled next to me. Maybe he was going to try to make amends. There was definitely a part of me that would lov
e to be past this.

  “Pretty nice out here, now that the crowds are dying down.”

  Or maybe he was just going to make small talk…

  I pulled my sunglasses back over my eyes, adjusted the towel doubling as a pillow, and said, “Should we talk about the weather next?” Sure it was a bit snarky, but really? I’d rather not talk than do this.

  And to my surprise, that comment earned me the first genuine Colby smile I’d seen in days.

  “I’m happy charter season is over.”

  Now this was the real Colby, but that statement was the last thing I’d expected to hear from his mouth.

  “Why’s that?” I asked.

  Colby’s gaze followed as a little boy ran past, seashells clinking in his bucket. His dad knelt down and peered into the little pail, then smiled.

  “Eh,” he shrugged. “Just tired of getting up early. Nice to sleep in.”

  It was most definitely a lie. I couldn’t really be disappointed that he didn’t open up to me—that wasn’t Colby—but I also didn’t have it in me to pry for more.

  I took a deep breath, then blew it out and turned away, tilting my chin toward the sky as the sun warmed my face. “Yeah. Must be exhausting.”

  “Hey,” he called to Matt. “Want to go to my place and order a pizza? We can all eat, then head over to Jack’s to check out that band tonight.”

  Matt glanced at Taylor who shrugged, seemingly cool with the idea. She probably figured that’s what Colby and I had been discussing because she didn’t even clear it with me, and considering she was my ride…

  “Sounds good, man.”

  If I truly wanted to restore our friendship, I had to give a little too. “I am getting pretty hungry.”