Love Is Forever Blue

by Donalyn Maurer

  Damn!

  He releases me and I turn around in a daze and start towards the window when I feel a stinging slap on my butt. I yelp and twist in surprise as my body flares with heat. With my mouth hanging open, I watch him as he kneels down and begins pouring paint into the pan. He glances up and winks at me then grabs his roller and paint and walks over to the wall to begin painting.

  Hoy, boy!

  Max is halfway through painting the room when Nash comes in and tells us that our grandma, Aunt Paige and Aunt Savannah brought food and they’re setting it up kitchen. Max and I clean up the area a little and then head downstairs.

  Pizza, wings and salad are spread across the kitchen island when we enter. My grandma and Aunt Savannah are fixing drinks for everyone and setting out salad dressings. We turn as Violet comes in the front door helping Abigail make her way through the house and into the kitchen.

  “Pizza! Just in time!” my sister almost screams, grinning widely. She sees us heading outside and hops towards the back door. In her excitement, she loses her balance, almost falling. Everyone in the room jolts and reaches out to catch her and my dad rushes over. Before he can get to her, she regains her balance. Leave it to my sister to do something to help break the somber mood everyone is in. That girl is so clumsy.

  “For shit’s sake, Abigail. You almost gave me a heart attack,” dad yells. “You still have stitches and could have torn them. Be careful.”

  “Woah. Sorry, Daddy-o but it’s pizza, and who is shit?” she asks, feigning honest curiosity.

  “What?” my dad barks back and glares at her, ignoring the laughing and cursing going on around him.

  “Shit. Who is this shit person who gives a sake?” She tilts her head still looking at him but trying not to laugh.

  “Abigail,” he warns. “Honest to Damien’s creek, I’m going to bust your…”

  “Okay,” Bradley interrupts by clapping. “Pizza anyone?”

  “Damien’s creek? Where—?” Abigail goes on poking the bear.

  We all burst out laughing as Jake shakes his head and puts his plate back down on the counter. He walks over to Abigail, takes her crutches and hands them to Violet. He gently picks her up and walks to the door, opens it with one hand, then takes her outside and sits her on a chair. “Just sit here and behave yourself,” he warns.

  She gives him a big smack and pat on the cheek. “Will do. Thanks, king bro.” She puts her hands in her lap and smiles back up at him sweetly.

  Everyone laughs when he ruffles her hair to the point she looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket. “Anytime, runt.”

  She glares at him while fixing her hair, but she can’t hide the love she has for him and the tiny smile playing at her lips.

  “Pain killers. That’s why we were late. I forgot her medicine and she was starting to feel some discomfort so I swung by the house and picked them up. She took some right as we left. Guess they kicked in.” Violet tells us. My dad grumbles, but only because he’s trying to hold back from laughing.

  I start making my plate and grab an extra for Abigail and make hers. Max gets us some forks and napkins and we walk out to the patio and take our seats. I reach over and slide Abigail her plate and we both smile our secret sister smile. The one that conveys “nice work.” It’s the one that we save for driving the men in our life’s crazy.

  We all sit, join hands and say grace as Violet, Aunt Savannah and Grandma walk back in the house. Aunt Paige is walking around handing out napkins and asking if she can get anyone else anything. Everyone can tell she’s nervous and is not sure what to do with herself. Uncle Brock drops his plate to the table and then reaches out and grabs her. She squeals as he pulls her into his lap and turns looking at him with her eyes bugging out.

  “Brock, what in the world?” She tries to stand but he pulls her closer.

  “It’s going to be okay, sweetheart.” He pushes her hair off her shoulder and turns her face to his. “I’m scared too but we’re going to be okay. We’ve waited a long time to have a family and now, you, me and Callie,” he smiles, “we’re going to be one.”

  She smiles back and leans down and gives him a kiss. They forget for a few minutes that we’re here because Uncle Brock starts to deepen the kiss when she suddenly pulls back and squeals. She jumps off his lap and runs inside; embarrassed while my dad and Uncle Duke laugh.

  “What?” Uncle Brock asks. “She’s just embarrassed. She likes us to have privacy.”

  “Enjoy any moments for the next few hours because once you have a little one in the house, private moments will be rare.” My dad advises, then he corrects himself. “Callie, once Callie is in the house.”

  My dad and Uncle Duke share a grin as they look at my Uncle Brock who is now showing worry. He looks over his shoulder at the back at the door where his wife just ran off to and frowns.

  “Don’t worry. It doesn’t last for long. You’ll get your privacy back in about oh, say, eighteen years,” my dad shares.

  Instead of getting upset my uncle Brock gets a goofy grin on his face. He’s not worried. He’s finally going to be a daddy.

  Over the next few hours, my dad sets up two huge fans from his construction company in Callie’s room that will dry the paint faster. Furniture is put together, clothes are hung and put away, shelves are put up and toys and books are placed on them. Max and Uncle Duke are pulling up the last of the tape and folding the drop cloths as Chase and Jake put together Callie’s dollhouse and place it in the corner. Jesse and Bradley have put together a beautiful canopy bed and my aunt Paige is making the bed with the sheets she just washed and pulled from the dryer while Aunt Savannah and Grandma hang some ivory lace priscilla curtains on the window. Connor and Nash arrive carrying some block letters they’ve painted bright yellow that spell out Callie. They grab their tools and walk over to the wall and begin to hang them. I’m standing back, next to Violet and Abigail taking all this in. I flashback to the day at the lake, the day my grandpa collapsed. The day I thought was the beginning of the end of us. How worried I was about our family drifting apart. Worried the good times were over. I was wrong. We didn’t drift apart. We pulled together. I didn’t think we could ever surpass the joy from our childhood’s and the memories we’d made. Yet, here we are, together, in this beautiful moment, making more joyous memories.

  When we make it back home, Max and I say our goodnights and head to our room as grandma turns off the lights in the front rooms.

  Max pulls me to sit next to him on the bench at the end of my bed, his forearms to his thighs and his head turned towards me. “So, you know I have to head back to work the day after tomorrow, right?”

  I nod. “Yes, I know.” I give him a forced smile. He doesn’t smile back. I know he’s concerned about leaving me but now that the threat is gone we need to get back to our lives

  “I’m going to go down and talk with my manager, Nora Lee, and see if I still have a job.” I reach over and smooth back his hair. He’s going to have to shave off the goatee and get a haircut now that he’s going back to work. I’m going to miss that goatee. “If I do, I’m hoping she’ll start me back right away. I need things to get back to normal. I need a routine.” He gives me a small smile. “Max, you need to get back to your patients, too.” He takes a deep breath and releases it before agreeing.

  “I know. I know.” He stands up and walks to his bag and pulls out some gym shorts. “I’m going to get ready for bed. Do you want the bathroom first?” He asks as he throws his things over his shoulder.

  “Go on, sugar.” I call to his back and he turns slightly. I can see him grin but I ignore it as I glance back at his gym bag. “I’m going to find something to wear too.” I tell him. I get up and walk to the chest of drawer and pull out what clothes I have in there. I walk over and place them on my bed as I open my dresser drawers and begin rearranging my clothes so I can fit the others in there. I then walk over to Max’s gym back and pull out what clothes he has and walk over and begin placing them in the
chest of drawers. Max pops his head out of the bathroom to watch me. I spend the next few minutes reorganizing our clothes with a smile on my face and my heart feeling warm.

  Max walks up behind me and wraps one arm around my chest, pulling me to him. He moves my hair back off my neck and rests his chin there. “You sure?”

  I reach up and touch his face. “More than sure, Max.” Then self-doubt creeps in. “I mean you don’t have to. I want you to be sure and I just thought…” I start to pull from him but he stops me and tightens his grip.

  “Stop, love, I more than want to,” he tells me as he kisses my neck up and down with his tongue gently tasting me. “We can go to my place tomorrow so I can grab some more of my stuff.” He says and pulls his head back and turns me to face him. “I told you I was staying. You can’t get rid of me.” He lowers his head and kisses me, gently nipping my lips. I open my mouth for him but he only goes in for a second and then he’s biting me softly. When he finally pulls back, my eyes stay closed and I feel like I’m in a trance.

  “How’s your shoulder?” he asks as he pulls the sling off my shoulder.

  Mmmmhmm,” is my only reply as I feel him pull my shirt off.

  “Looks almost healed. A couple of more days and you won’t have to wear the sling,” he says as he undoes the front clasp on my bra.

  “Yay!” I whisper yell. I lean forward and kiss his neck and feel his body shaking with laughter.

  “Sugar bear, you going to stop talking now and you know, take care of business?” I ask against his neck.

  “Jaycee, take the rest of your clothes off,” his command is soft and low.

  I start taking off my shoes and then my jeans. He’s not making a move to take off anything. He’s just stands watching me as I slowly remove my clothing, watching my movements and taking in my body. Once I get everything off, he turns me to face the bed.

  “Bend over, love. Cheek and palms to the mattress. Ass in the air.” He leans against my back and whispers in my ear.

  Flip me over cause I’m done on this side, I’m about to faint, my breathing is so unsteady. My body feels like it’s been hit by lightning. I step closer to the bed and do as he says. I can feel his heat behind me. He’s fully clothed and that’s turning me on big time too.

  “Jaycee, you look beautiful,” he moans.

  I let out a whimper and tense in anticipation as his finger finds me. His body jerks and he moans when he feels how wet I am.

  He starts moving his finger up and down spreading my wetness before he enters me and pushes in and out. Just one and it’s driving me crazy. His hand leaves me for a moment and then I feel his jean covered legs push up against me from behind as he leans over me and starts feathering his fingers up and down my back and down to my ass.

  “You can call me sugar bear in here, that’s fine, but here’s what happens when you call me that anywhere else.” I sense him stand as the palms of his hands rest on top of my ass and he begins to softly massage me. Lost in the feeling, I’m not prepared for what comes next. Slap. My body jolts in surprise and then I moan because it feels so good. Before I can stop myself, I push back into him.

  “Yes!” I cry out as he leans back down to my ear.

  “You like that, Jaycee?” I nod and let out another moan when I feel him push up against me and I feel how hard he is. He slaps the other side and my body jolts back into him again. “More?” he asks and before I can answer I feel another slap. “Your ass is turning nice and pink for me,” he says absently as his hands trail across the marks he’s leaving.

  “Yes, Max. More.” I beg, rewarded with another smack. Now I’m wiggling around and pushing back into him. He smacks me one more time and then rubs the sting. I feel his finger glide down and push into me. I’m pulsing and my body convulses when his finger enters me and I let out a cry of pleasure and start pleading. “Please, Max, now. I’m going to come.”

  He slowly pulls his finger from me and I let out another moan but one of displeasure from losing his touch. He finally picks up on my desperation and yanks off his shirt and jeans, positioning himself behind me again. He’s hard and I moan as he rubs his tip through my wetness, coating himself. I feel another smack and then another on the other side.

  “Spread your legs more for me, Jaycee,” his voice sounds hoarse. I do as he says, feeling him line himself up at my entrance and in one strong powerful thrust, he’s fully in me. I start to raise up as I let out a long moan but he puts a hand to my neck and pushes me back down and starts pumping inside of me. Oh, my God, yes. This is what I need. In between thrusts, he gives me a few more smacks which cause me to moan and push back into him and this time he lets me.

  “Fuck, you’re going to have to hurry. I won’t last long. Touch yourself,” he says orders me.

  I reach down and touch myself. Rolling the tips of my fingers in circles, like he does. He has one hand on my hip pulling me back to him and the other is on my back holding me down. He starts to gain speed.

  “Hurry, love,” he grunts slapping me again and again until I explode. He grabs me by both hips, his fingers gripping me. He starts slowing down, his thrusts start going deeper causing my orgasm to drag out for what felt like forever. Exhausted, my upper body drops to the bed as he continues his long, deep thrusts.

  “Beautiful, Jaycee,” he moans and it sounds like he’s in pain. He wraps his hand in my hair and pulls it tight. Just a touch of sting as he pulls my head back. I can’t help but moan, loving his dominance and I show my surrender. When I do, and lift my hips to give him deeper access he slams into me.

  “Shit, Jaycee. That’s it.” After a few more thrusts, he slams into me and then stops. “Fuck, I’m coming,” he pants. The hand on my hair tightens along with the one on my hip. So tight I can't move. He stills and after a few seconds I feel his breathing start to slow. He keeps me like this for a few moments and then releases me to drops down on top of me. He gives me a few more thrusts which I return. I can feel our muscles still pulsing. We both lay still until finally, both our breathing returns to normal. I’m so relaxed and spent after that, I could fall asleep right here, like this.

  As I lay there drifting, I think about what we just did and how much I loved it, how much I trust Max. How I wasn’t scared of being spanked or his hand in my hair. How good it felt. I love Max. He would never hurt me. I mean like, I really liked this and I can’t wait to do it again. At the same time a smile starts to form on my face the past rears it’s ugly head again and I panic. Not out of fear, but shame and doubt.

  Oh, my God. Will Max think I gave Rocky mixed signals? Because it wasn’t like that. I’m not like that. Not with Rocky. He’s going to think I’m some kind of creep that enjoys being hit. Then my craziness takes a different direction. Wait. He did that really well. He knew what he was doing. Has he done that to other women? My sanity stands ready to take a flying leap into the dark abyss for the insane, but halts when Max calls my name.

  “Jaycee, What the hell is going on in your head?” He pulls his hand from my hair and smooths it back so he can see the side of my face. “Did I hurt you?” He stands and helps me up. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He walks into the bathroom and I hear the water turn on and then off. He comes back in with a washcloth and pushes me back on the bed and starts to open my legs but now I’m mortified, so I stop him and reach for the washcloth.

  “I can do it,” I whisper ashamed and worried.

  He watches me as I turn away from him and then clean myself. I start to get up to put the cloth in the hamper and escape but he’s not going to let me get away.

  “Stop it, Jaycee.” He takes the washcloth and tosses it in the bathroom and I watch it land on the floor. He lays down next to me and pulls me to him so we’re face to face. “You’re scaring the fuck out of me right now. Please talk to me,” he begs.

  I finally look over at him; his eyebrows are drawn together and he’s frowning. I look away but he pulls my face back to him.

  “Jaycee, I’m sorry. I sh
ouldn’t have done all that. I’ve never ever done that before. I shouldn’t have been so rough. Please, look at me,” he says softly.

  “You’ve never done that before?” I ask and he shakes his head. “I thought maybe you’d done it before because you did it so...” I look away again, too embarrassed to finish. He pulls me back again still looking at me for an explanation. He knows I’m not telling him everything. “Max, I don’t want you to think I’m a freak.” I feel his body give a soft jerk and he puts his arms around me and pulls me close but doesn’t say anything, letting me continue. “I really liked it all, Max. It was hot,” I say softly. His arms spasms but his body starts to relax. “I’m not sure why I wasn’t scared and of course you didn’t hurt me, but I was completely into you and what we were doing and I wanted more. I just don’t want you to think I like being hit, like you know, he did.” My words trail off and I bury my face into his chest.

  “Love, look at me, please,” he calls as he puts his hand to my cheek pulling my face to his. “I’ve never done the stuff I’ve done with you.” He smiles. “I want to do everything with you, experience new things with you and you only. I want to share these moments with someone I love and trust. Someone who doesn’t judge me, too. Nothing about Rocky crossed my mind, I didn't feel any get mixed signals. I’m sorry you did. Let’s not taint what we just shared with those memories,” he leans down and puts his mouth to mine kisses me softly. “This was ours.” he kisses me softly again. “And I liked it all too.”

  I look back at him, still in doubt and when I see his smile flash dimples, I finally start to relax.

  “So I guess maybe we’re both freaks? And I’m glad.”

  He kisses me again and says against my lips, “I love you so much, Jaycee. Forever and a day.”

  With my head on his chest and my eyes closing I sleepily whisper, “Love you too, Max. Forever and a day.” I fall asleep with a smile on my face.