Love Inspired December 2013 - Bundle 2 of 2: Cozy ChristmasHer Holiday HeroJingle Bell Romance

by Valerie Hansen

  He stood and signaled for Shep to do likewise. “We’ll be going. Thanks again for a delicious meal. I’ll see Josh tomorrow for his self-defense.” He started for the porch steps.

  “Jake.”

  He kept going as though she hadn’t said his name in almost a plea for understanding. “Good night.”

  Even though it hurt his leg to move as fast as he did, he strode toward the sidewalk, holding Shep’s leash, refusing to look back. Somehow he knew she was still watching him.

  When he rounded the corner and walked down Park Avenue, at first he didn’t see the front of his house, but as he grew closer, a chill flashed down his spine. In the glow of his porch light he saw that the large glass window in his living room was shattered.

  Jake’s gaze fastened on the destruction, and he flashed back to the village in the mountains with its windows and doors blasted out, debris and carnage lying everywhere. Fallen buddies. Civilians caught in the crossfire. Huts destroyed.

  The sounds of gunfire inundated him. The moans and cries of suffering soldiers and villagers filled his mind.

  He quaked, his heart racing. Sweat poured off his face. The noise of war all around him and even the scent of gunpowder assailed him.

  Bark! Bark!

  Something wet and cold nudged his hand over and over.

  Another yelp, followed by more, demanded his attention.

  Jake looked down and saw a large dog rubbing himself against his leg. No, his dog. Shep.

  He blinked and knelt, putting his arms around the German shepherd. He clung to him as though his life depended on the dog.

  Time passed. He had no idea how long he sat on the sidewalk in front of his house, holding Shep, feeling the dog’s calm breathing, his warmth chasing away the cold that encased Jake.

  Finally, when the trembling eased, Jake felt his thoughts clearing, bringing him back to Cimarron City. Safe. No enemy was waiting behind a building to shoot him. No more rocket launchers were annihilating buildings or transport vehicles.

  Then he glanced toward his house and remembered the window. Had someone broken in? If he went inside and found someone there, he didn’t know what he would do. He dug his cell phone out of his pocket and called 911.

  Chapter Seven

  As Emma finished cleaning up the kitchen after Jake left, she reflected on what he had told her about his father. It had taken Ben months to start talking about what he was going through, and once he did he was more open to therapy to help with the PTSD. She hoped it was the same with Jake because…

  What? I’m attracted to him? She didn’t want to be. She’d dealt with her husband and his problems and was glad she could be there to help him, but in the end she was the reason he was on the ladder that he fell from. She couldn’t be responsible for someone else that way. But she could be a friend to Jake and help him when he would let her.

  The ringing of the phone startled her, and she gasped. She dried her hands and hurried to answer it.

  “Emma, this is Marcella. I was going to bed when I saw a police car outside Jake’s house. I thought I would let you know. I’m heading over to his house right now.”

  Emma wasn’t sure what was going on, but Jake probably didn’t need a lot of people showing up at his house. “Let me check on him and Shep, then I’ll give you a call.”

  “Promise. No matter how late.”

  “I will.” When she hung up, she rushed to Josh’s room to let him know where she was going. “The police are at Jake’s house. I want to make sure he’s okay.”

  Josh shut down his computer. “I’m coming with you.”

  “You’ll need to stay out of the way. Maybe on his porch until I know what’s going on.” Emma began imagining all kinds of scenarios, causing her breathing to become shallow until she was panting as she headed out of her house.

  A few minutes later, Emma approached Jake’s place as the police officer was leaving. They passed on the sidewalk, her attention trained on Jake in the doorway with Shep right next to him. He looked all right. Relief flowed through her the closer she came to Jake, and she didn’t see any signs of a panic attack.

  “Mom, look at his window.” Josh pointed toward the one in the living room that faced the street.

  She mounted the stairs to the porch, her eyes returning to Jake’s. Beneath his calm expression she spied a hard glitter in his eyes for a few seconds before he masked it. He was holding himself together, his hand on top of Shep’s head.

  “Marcella called to tell me the police were at your house. We were worried. I told her I would find out what happened then let her know.”

  “What happened?” Josh waved his hand toward the window. “Someone rob you?”

  Jake stepped back. “Come in.” As he walked toward the living room, he continued, “I couldn’t find anything missing. The officer thinks it was a prank. There were several large rocks found on the floor. He took them to see if they could pull any prints from them. But he wasn’t hopeful.”

  Entering, Emma peered at the glass all over the carpet, a cool breeze blowing in from the gaping hole. “I’ll help you clean this up. What are you going to do about the window tonight?”

  “I hadn’t thought that far. Tomorrow I can get it replaced but I’m not sure…” Jake stared at the large, shattered pane.

  “We’ve got two sheets of paneling in our garage we didn’t use when redoing the den. They’ll cover most of the window. Josh and I can go back home and bring them. They’re pretty big so it might take two trips.”

  Jake looked at her son still taking in the destruction. “I can help. Maybe between the two of us, we can do it in one trip. What do you think, Josh?”

  He nodded, his chest puffing out. “They aren’t that big. We can do it together.”

  Emma looked at Jake. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, my trip home earlier went fine. But I’m leaving Shep here with you.”

  “No, I’ll be fine.”

  “This isn’t up for debate.”

  She started to argue with Jake, but the determination in his expression told her it would be useless. “Where’s your vacuum cleaner?”

  “In the hall closet.” Jake put his hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Come on, kiddo. You can even help me nail the boards up.”

  “Wait, here’s my key.” Emma passed it to Jake.

  “Good thinking.”

  His chuckles sprinkled the air and made Emma smile. She quickly called Marcella and told her what happened then retrieved the vacuum cleaner. After she picked up the large pieces of glass, she swept the carpet over and over and then straightened a metal lamp that had been hit.

  Shep barked as the guys returned with both sheets of paneling. Josh’s face beamed, and Jake seemed all right, his expression even. Then he focused on her, and a light gleamed in his eyes, warming her.

  “I appreciate these panels. Otherwise, I might have had to sleep on the couch to make sure no one tried to come through the window.” Jake greeted Shep, rubbing him behind the ears.

  “Those jagged edges probably would be a deterrent for most rational people, but I have my doubts about anyone who goes around doing this.” Emma wound the cord on the vacuum cleaner.

  “Mom, I’m gonna help Jake put these up. Okay?”

  She glanced at her watch. “Only if you agree to go right to bed when we get home.”

  “I can manage without—”

  Emma waved her hand. “No, we’re staying and both of us will help you. The job will go faster.”

  “Then I’ll go get my nails. I think there are two hammers in the garage.” He started toward the hallway, stopped and glanced at her. “Did you call Miss Kime?”

  “Yes. Don’t be surprised if she isn’t over here first thing in the morning.”

  When he disappeared from view, Josh moved closer and asked quietly, “What if this is Liam and Sean getting back at Jake? He did stop the fight. Liam went to the principal’s office at the end of class today. What if they do it to us, too?”

&nbs
p; “Stop. You can’t worry about what might happen. Worrying is wasted energy. If someone does something, we’ll call the police and fix the window, just like Jake’s doing.”

  Josh frowned. “Liam gets away with so much. He’s sneaky.”

  “It’ll catch up with him. Sandy and I are rallying the moms. And Mrs. Alexander and the principal are aware of the situation. They don’t support any kind of bullying.”

  “Tomorrow Jake’s gonna work with us.”

  In less than two weeks Jake had become important in their lives. But he had his own problems and didn’t need to be burdened with theirs. She never wanted Jake to regret knowing them. She knew how fragile his world was.

  Lord, if this is the work of Liam and his buddies, please bring them to justice. They need to be held accountable for their actions. Too many people have been hurt by them.

  When Jake came back, carrying his supplies, quivers flashed up her spine. He had a commanding presence that kept drawing her to him.

  “Here we go. Two hammers and enough nails to put these panels up. Who wants the extra hammer?” When Josh’s arm went up, Jake gave him the tool. “You can nail the bottom part while I do the top.”

  “What do I do?” Emma asked as the guys walked out onto the porch, the lighting still bright enough to work.

  Jake gave Josh a look that said they would tolerate her assistance. “Supervise.”

  “I can at least help hold it up until you get enough nails in the panel, and if you need more nails, I can give them to you.”

  “Sure, Mom, that’s a good job for you.” Josh and Jake shared another look, accompanied by her son’s rolling his eyes.

  “On second thought, I think I’ll take Shep out back. You two can do some male bonding.”

  Josh giggled.

  Snorting, Jake started hammering.

  In the backyard, Emma sat on the top step while Shep went around sniffing the ground. This was what she wanted, her son bonding with a man. There were times she couldn’t help Josh the way a male could. But was this what Jake wanted? Having a young boy looking up to him, wanting his opinion? Was he willing to listen to Josh’s problems while he was wrestling with his own serious issues?

  Finally, Shep trotted to the stairs, mounted them and sprawled across the deck next to her. “Hey, boy, how are you liking your new home?”

  In answer he rubbed against her then hopped to his feet and ambled to the back door. After a series of barks, Jake let him in. While Shep pranced in as though he owned the house, Jake locked looks with Emma.

  He stepped back from the doorway and called out, “Be back in a minute. I need to talk to your mom.”

  She turned toward him and watched him shrink the distance between them in three long strides. His limp was more pronounced after a long day.

  Clutching the railing, he lowered himself down next to her. “You’ve got a fine son. You’ve done a good job with him.”

  “I don’t always feel that way.” She shivered more from the silky thread of his words than the cool breeze blowing.

  “Cold?”

  She nodded, not sure she could adequately explain she was but wasn’t.

  He slipped his arm around her and pulled her closer. “We talked about tomorrow with his friends coming over. He wanted to know if I was sure I wanted to do it. Did you tell him I am suffering from PTSD?”

  “No, there isn’t any reason to. But I’m sure he knows something is going on. He’s a smart kid.” She turned until their gazes linked, their faces only inches apart. “He knows about his uncle Ben, and it hasn’t affected how he feels about him. You aren’t less of a man because of it.”

  “I feel like I am.”

  She wanted to say that was nonsense, but he wouldn’t believe her. Her brother hadn’t. Once her husband had basically said the same thing after a severe seizure. Still, she went on, “PTSD isn’t who you are. That doesn’t change, not the core essence of you. The same was true of Sam with his seizures. They were something he had to deal with, but they didn’t make him who he was.”

  Jake studied her face. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but—”

  She stopped his words with her fingertips pressed against his mouth. The physical contact with him captivated her, the softness of his lips in contrast with the day’s growth of beard on his chin. Her throat went dry. Her pulse accelerated.

  “I’m only telling you the truth,” she murmured, his head bending closer.

  She wound her arms around him, wanting him even nearer. This was the first kiss she’d shared with a man since her husband died, and it felt so right. A scary thought. What was she doing? She wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship with a man when she was the reason her husband died.

  She pulled back. “I need to get Josh home. It’s a school night. Sandy is bringing all the boys over tomorrow at four-thirty. I’ll be here at five to help and then take them home later.” She pushed to her feet, her legs shaking. “Is that all right? If not, what sounds good to you?” Her words flew out of her mouth so rapidly she could hardly follow herself.

  All emotion fled his face as he rose and crossed to his back door, letting her go inside first. “Whatever works for you all. I’ll be here.”

  She blocked his way into the hallway. “I won’t ever tell Josh about your PTSD. If you want him to know, that’ll have to come from you. In Josh’s eyes his uncle Ben was the greatest before he was injured and still is now that he knows the problems Ben has.”

  “How did you explain Shep?”

  “He thinks Shep helps with your leg. I train all kinds of dogs—service, therapy, companions. If I’m not needed at the animal hospital, I’m working with a dog. Dr. Harris is one of the supporters of Caring Canines.” She made her way to the living room, feeling the drill of Jake’s look as she walked ahead of him.

  “Ready, Josh?”

  Her son nodded, whispered something to Shep and rose from the floor. “I finished nailing that last piece of paneling. See ya tomorrow, Jake, Shep.”

  “Thanks, kiddo, for helping me.”

  Josh grinned and waved goodbye then headed down the porch steps.

  Emma hung back, wanting to explain why she’d broken off the kiss. But the words wouldn’t form in her mind. She couldn’t tell him about her part in Sam’s death. Instead, she mumbled, “Good night,” then hurried after her son.

  *

  Jake watched Emma and Josh leave, replaying in his mind the sensation that had swirled through him when he’d kissed her. Then the feeling of rejection when she had yanked back as though he was damaged goods. And he was. He wasn’t whole, no matter how much she tried to reassure him he was, that his PTSD had nothing to do with his masculinity.

  It wasn’t true. It controlled his life. He sometimes felt like a prisoner.

  Anger surged through him. He slammed his door so hard, the pictures on the walls in the foyer shook.

  I want to be whole. I want my life back. Lord, help me.

  Chapter Eight

  Saturday afternoon Emma wrote a check to the hospital, draining the last of their funds for the month, but at this rate she would have it paid off by the end of the year. That would be a good feeling, and her next payday was in a few days.

  Josh came into the living room, beaming. “Mom, you should’ve seen us with Jake today. We were awesome. I learned two new moves.”

  Emma basked in the expression on her son’s face. Since Jake had been working with Josh on his baseball skills and self-defense moves, she’d seen more smiles and joy in his eyes. “I was impressed when I saw you all on Thursday working with Jake.”

  “He told us today you aren’t a snitch if you tell the authorities a crime’s being committed. That we all need to stand up to someone who’s doing something wrong. He told the guys about when he was bullied and what he learned from it.”

  “What was that?”

  “Letting the bullies get away with it only encourages them to do more.”

  “True, but I don’t want you
starting any fights.”

  “He doesn’t believe in that, either. He says as a group we should stand strong.”

  She imagined if Ben were here he would be telling her son the same thing. She was glad Josh had Jake to turn to. “He’s going to be here any minute. Are you ready to go to the ranch?”

  Josh’s smile grew. “Yeah. I get to show him the dogs at Caring Canines. Can I take Buttons? Jake said Shep was going with him.”

  “Sure, but on a leash.”

  Josh whirled around and raced back to his room to get the leash then went to the backyard for his terrier.

  Emma rose from the desk and rolled her head around, then stretched, trying to work the tightness out of her muscles. She hated balancing the checkbook, but at least it was done for the month. Now she intended to have a nice day at Winter Haven Ranch with Jake and Josh.

  Glimpsing Jake pull into the driveway in a blue Ford Fusion made her heart seem to pause in her chest then begin pounding faster than normal. This was a first. He was driving her and Josh to the ranch. She knew he drove when he went to the doctor or a few other required places, but this trip was for fun. It was just an opportunity for Jake to get out more with Shep and spend some time with her and Josh.

  Like a family popped into her mind, and she quickly brushed it aside. Jake was a client she was helping adjust to the service dog she’d trained. But in her heart she knew Jake and Shep had bonded and didn’t really need any help from her.

  “Josh, Jake’s here. Let’s go!” she yelled and grabbed her purse.

  Her son hurried from the back of the house with Buttons on a leash. “Do you think he’ll mind her going?”

  The doorbell rang. “We’ll ask him.” Emma moved to open the door.

  Seeing Jake standing on her porch rather than honking for them to come out sent her heart racing again. She imagined him in his dress uniform, and her legs went weak with the picture in her mind. He would have been impressive.

  “Hi, we’re ready,” she said with a grin that matched his.