Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives)

by Hansen, Marita A.

  The man with the top hat tittered. “I warned you, Sandra. You will have to leave the club now.”

  Sandra pouted. “But, he said yes.”

  “I heard him say no only a few minutes ago, and look, he’s passed out.”

  “But he never turns me down. And why would he come if he didn’t want sex?”

  “It doesn’t matter, you know the rules. No touching without consent.”

  “Who’s she?” Sandra indicated at Beth angrily.

  “His friend,” the man said.

  Sandra gave Beth a once over. “You look like me.” She snatched up her clothes and pushed past Beth, heading into the bathroom.

  Wanting to scream and yell at Dante, Beth went over and tugged up his pants.

  He opened his eyes and smiled at her. “I love my Bethy-babe.”

  “If you did you wouldn’t have come here.” She zipped him up, then pulled down his shirt. “C’mon, let’s go,” she said, trying to pull him out of the swing.

  He mumbled something in what she assumed was Croatian, then got to his feet, almost making her topple over as he swung an arm around her shoulders.

  “That Sandra woman’s horrible, don’t go near her again,” Beth said, helping him up the stairs.

  “I don’t want her, I want you, but I can’t get what I want.” He pushed away from her and wobbled past the people writhing on the couch.

  Afraid he was going to topple down the next flight of stairs, Beth grabbed him. She helped him one step at a time, wishing she could say he could have her, but she knew he wouldn’t remember anything the next day, plus she wasn’t sure if he meant it, especially with what had happened at the hospital.

  Beth nodded her thanks at the host as they neared the exit, then, with more difficulty than normal due to his drunken state, she steered Dante across the small parking lot. She unlocked the car and bundled him inside, then got into the driver’s seat and backed out. After a thirty-minute drive she turned into her driveway, parking outside her cousin’s flat. She hopped out and ran around to Dante’s side of the car, prodding him awake.

  He mumbled, “Sleepy.”

  “We’re home, well, my new home anyway.”

  He opened his eyes, allowing her to help him out. She locked the car then steered him up the front steps and inside.

  Beth’s cousin glanced up from the couch, Josie’s bored gaze instantly turning to interest. “That’s Dante Rata,” she squealed, jolting Dante.

  “He’s drunk, Josie,” Beth said, wishing her cousin had gone to bed so she could’ve snuck him in. Ever since Josie saw the nude text of Dante, her cousin had pestered her to meet him, something that Beth had managed to avoid up until now.

  Josie ran around the wicker couch to Dante. She was shaking like she was meeting a famous celebrity, her excitement palpable. “Hi, Dante.”

  He smiled at her sleepily. “You look like Bethy-babe.”

  Josie giggled. “He called me babe.”

  Beth exhaled loudly. “He needs to sleep.”

  “He can have my room,” Josie said.

  “Dream on,” Beth snapped. “He’s sleeping in mine.”

  Josie expression soured. “Goin’ between brothers, that’s low.”

  “It’s not like that; Dante always calls me to pick him up when he’s drunk. And there are only two rooms, and I know what you’re like.”

  “What? You think I’d molest him or sumpthin’?”

  “With the way you’re ogling him, yeah.”

  Dante pulled away from Beth, swaying as he headed for the telly. His gaze shifted to the quilt on the wall. “Pretty.” He reached out and touched it.

  Josie ran over to him. “It’s a Tivaevae. I made it. My grandmother taught me when I stayed with her in Rarotonga.”

  “It’s really good. I like the canoe patterns.” He pulled off his jacket and shirt.

  “Dante!” Beth shouted.

  He pointed at his right shoulder blade. “I’ve got a canoe tattoo.”

  Giggling, Josie touched it.

  Beth grabbed Dante’s arm, yanking him away from Josie and almost making him fall over. She steadied him. “You needa go to bed, Dante.”

  Josie grabbed Dante’s other arm, and tugged him towards the couch. He fell onto the cushions laughing. Josie sat next to him, settling his legs on her lap. “Let’s talk while Beth gets us sumpthin’ to eat.”

  Beth gritted her teeth as Dante nodded. God, she was going to kill her cousin. Beth walked over and pushed Dante’s legs off Josie’s lap, then grabbed her cousin’s arm. “I don’t know where everything is. You’ll hafta help me.”

  “It’s all in the fridge and cupboards.”

  Beth tugged Josie up and pulled her into the kitchen, shutting the door behind them. “What is wrong with you? He’s drunk, and you had your hands all over him.”

  “Did not. And why’re you being such a cow for? You know I’ve been aching to meet him.”

  “He won’t be interested in you.”

  “Well, he seemed pretty friendly taking half his clothes off for me, and he called me babe.”

  “He’s drunk, and he wuzn’t referring to you, he calls me Bethy-babe.”

  Josie pulled a face. “I just wanna talk to him.”

  “You were pawing his back.”

  “I wuz looking at his canoe tattoo.”

  “More like copping a feel.”

  “So what? At least I wuzn’t having sex with him—unlike someone did.”

  Beth glared at her cousin, now regretting telling Josie about what had happened. “Can’t you get it into your thick head that I don’t want you touching him? He’s off limits.”

  Josie made a deriding sound. “That is so low, making a move on him right after being dumped by his brother.”

  “Is not.”

  Josie crossed her arms over her chest. “And you know what’s even lower?”

  “What?”

  “You swiping Carly’s phone and sending everyone the text of Dante naked.”

  Beth’s eyes almost bulged out. “Keep your voice down.”

  “Your bloody jealousy got Carly beaten up by her hubby and what you did to Dante wuz outright mean. He did nuthin’ to you, yet you sent his naked pic to half the neighbourhood.”

  “I didn’t know Carly’s husband would beat her up, and I wuzn’t thinking straight, I wuz really angry.”

  “I wonder what Dante would say if he knew who sent that picture?”

  “No, Josie, please don’t.”

  A grin spread across Josie’s face. “Well, I can say one thing, it makes a great screensaver. Guess what I like to click my mouse on?”

  “I told you to delete it.”

  “No way, I love that picture; Dante looks so fuckable, I could just eat him up.”

  “I heard that.”

  Beth’s breath hitched. No, no, no... She turned around slowly, wondering how much Dante had heard.

  He was standing in the other entrance to the kitchen, looking at Josie with an annoyed expression. “That picture almost got me shot,” he slurred.

  Josie laughed nervously. “C’mon, it wuzn’t me who sent it.” She gave Beth a sly glance. “And, it wuz really hot. You should pose for Playgirl or sumpthin.” She giggled. “I’d buy the mag for sure.”

  Dante’s mouth fell open.

  Beth whacked Josie across the arm. God, she couldn’t believe her cousin’s nerve—and rudeness.

  “Ow! Don’t hit me.”

  “Then get outta here.”

  “No, it’s my flat, you leave. Alone.”

  Beth pushed Josie towards the door.

  Josie shoved Beth back, then headed for Dante. “Good night, hottie.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Dante’s cheek. Dante remained still, his expression disbelieving. Josie glanced back at Beth. “You can take the couch, Beth,” she said, grinning.

  Beth breathed out as Josie disappeared.

  Dante shook his head. “Your cousin’s sumpthin’ else.”

  “Yeah, s
orry ’bout her, Josie’s always been rude.” She grimaced. “How much didja hear?”

  “Sumpthin’ ’bout my picture making a great screensaver. I hate that soddin’ picture.”

  “I’ll see if I can delete it for you tomorrow,” Beth replied, relieved that he hadn’t heard more.

  She headed over and steered him out of the kitchen and into her bedroom. He slumped on the mattress, still complaining about the picture. Beth pulled off his boots and manoeuvred him onto his back, then grabbed a cover and headed for the couch, her nerves still raw from the close call.

  “I wanna go home,” he called out.

  She went back in. “Not now, go to bloody sleep.”

  He closed his eyes, mumbling he was going home. Beth watched him for a while to make sure he didn’t get up, then, when he’d nodded off, she snuck out of the room and closed the door. She leaned against it for a moment, wishing she could snuggle up to him, to make him only want her, to be everything he needed, desired and loved. But she wasn’t sure she would ever be enough for him, because she couldn’t imagine him giving up the things he loved. But, he’d said he wanted her. And she wanted him.

  She glanced at Josie’s bedroom. No light, no sound. With her heart pounding like the little drummer boy, she slipped back into her room. She stripped off, leaving only her knickers on, then lowered herself onto the bed, careful not to wake him. When he didn’t stir, she hooked an arm over his waist and snuggled in, thrilled by the touch of her breasts against his skin.

  I’m not doing anything wrong, it’s just hugging, and I’ve hugged him before. But not without my clothes on. But I want to know what it feels like to lie next to him instead of Ash. Oh God, don’t think of Ash.

  Needing to get Ash out of her head, she buried her face into Dante’s hair, the smell of cigarettes a reminder of the sex club. She pushed aside the image of Sandra molesting him, and focused on the hint of vanilla shampoo. He always swiped her stuff: the mochachino, her shampoo, her shower gel. It used to annoy her, but now it gave her a thrill, because it felt like he belonged to her too—or she belonged to him, because he could use her all he wanted.

  She lay there for God only knew how long, listening to his breathing and her own heartbeat, the two merging like they were meant to be together. Her eyelids started to lower, sleep pulling at the corners. She closed them, just wanting to rest for a short time, then she would go sleep on the couch.

  15

  Dante

  Sunday

  Dante opened his eyes and moaned, bringing a hand to his aching head. He needed Aspirin, no he needed his damn meds. He sat up and looked down at his bare chest. At least he had pants on this time and there was no chick next to him. He pushed off the bed and opened the door, the smell of frying bacon instantly hitting him. He wasn’t sure whether it made him feel sicker, but he followed his nose to the kitchen anyway.

  In the far corner, a short female with curly reddish-brown hair was standing by the stove holding tongs. His eyes wandered down her body, the negligée she was wearing leaving little to the imagination. He cleared his throat to get her attention. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. He wondered whether he’d done her. Although she was hot, he kind of hoped he hadn’t, the thought of Beth making him feel like it was cheating. Though, fuck knew why, because Beth wasn’t his, plus he’d gone to La Rock last night to wipe her from his memory, he just wished that Sandra hadn’t shown, because she looked too much like Beth, her presence making him feel guilty, which he didn’t understand. Shit, Beth was warping his brain, creating feelings he couldn’t handle. He just needed to repeat over and over again that he couldn’t have her.

  “You hungry, Dante?” the chick asked.

  Great, she knew his name. He just hoped he hadn’t given her his phone number too. “I need coffee.”

  She tapped a plunger. “Got plenty of that. Plonk yourself down, and I’ll bring everything over.”

  He slumped into a chair and rested his forehead on the table. He must’ve drunk even more than usual, because he hadn’t had a hangover this bad in ages, the techno music from last night still playing its damn beat across his frontal lobe.

  He looked up as a mug and plate was put in front of him. “Thanks,” he said, picking up the coffee.

  The chick sat across from him. “How’re ya feeling this morning?”

  “Like crap.” He hesitated. “Did we… ah… did we fuck?”

  She grinned, her cheeky smile reminding him of someone. “I wish, but nope, you were too drunk, and Beth would’ve killed me.”

  Oh crap. “Beth’s here?”

  “Yeah, you slept in her room.”

  Jesus, he hoped Ash didn’t hear about this. “Um, where did she sleep?”

  “On the couch, though God only knows why the stupid woman listened to me, cos I didn’t expect her to.”

  Because she’s still hung up on Ash. Dante took a sip of his coffee, feeling disappointment instead of relief.

  “By the way, my name’s Josie. I’m Beth’s cousin.”

  “Nice to meet ya, and thanks for the grub.”

  “No worries, I’d love to have you over for breakfast more often. You can sleep in my bed next time.” She giggled, her eyes twinkling.

  Dante couldn’t tell whether she was joking or not. He took another drink of coffee to avoid replying.

  Noise came from the lounge. A few seconds later Beth walked into the kitchen with her kimono on. Dante’s eyes lowered down it, his mind rewinding to when he’d taken it off her. She walked past him, her “G’morning” barely audible. She poured herself a coffee, then leaned against the cupboard, her gaze avoiding his.

  “Dante?” Josie said.

  He looked back at Beth’s cousin. “Huh?”

  “You gonna eat your bacon sandwich?”

  “Sure.” He picked it up and bit into it, even though he’d lost his appetite the second Beth had walked in.

  “After you finish your breakfast, I wanna take you on a tour of the flat,” Josie said, her grin telling him it was going to finish in her bedroom.

  He glanced across at Beth who was now glaring at her cousin’s back. “I need a shower first,” he said, getting to his feet. “Where’s the bathroom?”

  Josie jumped up and grabbed his arm, tugging him through the doorway. Beth followed them into the passage. “You need help washing?” Josie said, her expression a strange mixture of sex and innocence, like the way Corey looked at Sledge.

  Snap! That’s who she reminded him of. She was a female version of Corey, far more so than Beth, who was taller and darker. Plus, Josie’s cheeky humour was similar.

  “You remind me of Corey,” he said.

  Her expression soured. “I don’t look like a boy!”

  Beth started laughing behind them.

  Josie glared at Beth. “It’s not my fault Corey looks like a bloody girl!”

  “He does not,” Beth replied. “He’s just adorable looking, which I must say you’re not.”

  “What a load of baloney, he’s a lying li’l toad who lost me Daryl.”

  “Your sleazy ex hit on him.”

  “Daryl’s not gay. And Corey looks more like a girl than I do. No! I didn’t mean it like that; I meant he looks more like a girl than I look like a boy. Stop laughing at me! You’re such a cow!”

  “Jesus! I’ve got a hangover, stop shouting.” Dante went into the bathroom and closed the door. Muttering under his breath, he removed his leather pants and underwear, then hopped under the shower head, the cool water making him feel slightly better. He washed his hair and body, then grabbed a towel and dried off. He picked up his leather pants and sniffed them, not liking the smell of smoke. Weed he loved, cigarettes not so much. He pulled them on without his underwear, which he chucked in the rubbish bin. He adjusted his package, not liking the feel of going commando in leather. Didn’t matter anyway, it was only until he got home.

  He opened the door, surprised to find both Beth and her cousin still standing there. “I wanna
go home. Where’s my shirt and jacket?”

  “You can’t,” Beth said “It’s not safe until your stepfather is caught.”

  “I still need a change of clothes.”

  “That’s alright, you can go nuddy here,” Josie said, her grin back in place.

  Beth whacked her cousin’s arm.

  “Ow! What’s with you and violence?”

  “Your mouth, now go away.”

  “No, this is my place, so you leave.”

  Dante winced at Josie’s loud voice. “Will ya keep it down? I’ve got a hangover.”

  “Sorry, babe,” Josie said, looking anything but. “Let’s go to my room. Once you see my screensaver you’ll forget all about your hangover.” She grabbed Dante’s hand.

  “No, Josie.” Beth wrenched Josie away from him.

  Josie pulled free. “What is wrong with you?!”

  “You. Why’re you doin’ this to me?”

  “Cos you’re treating me like crap!”

  “Then stop hitting on him.”

  “So, what would happen if I slept with him? Will you trash my life like you did Carly’s?”

  “Stoppit, Josie!”

  “No, you stoppit! Maybe Dante should know what type of person you are.”

  “No, please, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Yes, you did! You stole Carly’s phone and texted Dante’s nude picture to everyone.”

  “What?!” Dante shouted. They’d been arguing too fast for his aching head to keep up, but Josie’s last words knocked him for six. He turned to Beth in shock. Now everything made sense. She’d been in the room with him and Carly. They would’ve been easy prey, because Carly had been blotto too. He could see it so clearly: Beth snapping a picture of him while he was passed out, vulnerable and naked, then sending it to everyone, not caring about his or Carly’s safety, because everyone knew Deano was a violent sonofabitch. God, he felt like throwing up.

  Beth started stammering out apologies and excuses, all of it wasted.

  “How could you do that to me?” he said, barely getting it out. His head was killing him, his heart was shattered, and his body was shaking. He’d experienced this before, right after Kara had dumped him. He’d loved her too, but not as much as Beth.