Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives)

by Hansen, Marita A.

  “I-I w-wuzn’t thinking,” she said.

  “I almost got killed over that picture!” he yelled. She was crying, but he didn’t give a shit, because she didn’t give a shit about him. “People called me a man-whore. I couldn’t go down the road without someone making fun of me. I wuz humiliated. Why would you do that to me?”

  “I didn’t mean to send it to everyone.”

  “You shouldn’t have sent it to anyone!”

  Beth reached out for him. “I’m sorry—”

  He stepped back, knocking into Josie.

  “Please, Dante, I’d do anything to make things right,” Beth cried.

  “Then stay the fuck away from me!” He pushed past her and headed for the door, totally done with her and this whole bloody town.

  16

  Sledge

  Sledge knocked on Corey’s bedroom door. When no one answered, he opened it and poked his head inside. The pale green curtains were drawn and the bed was unmade, while a slight smell of pot permeated the room—pretty much the norm for Corey. Sledge walked in and sat down on the bed. With everything that had gone down yesterday he hadn’t had the opportunity to tell Corey or Naf about Tama. He flopped back on the mattress, feeling gutted. He wondered whether Beth had mentioned anything to her brothers, but didn’t think so since they hadn’t contacted him, which meant it was up to him to break the news as well as to find out when the funeral was on, something he was dreading going to. He couldn’t imagine Tama dead, the guy too full of life to be lowered six-feet under.

  Exhaling loudly, he wiped a hand over his face, wishing Corey was here. He needed his mate, because Corey knew how to make him feel better when he was depressed—or right now, shattered. And he was desperate to talk to someone who could understand a little of what he was feeling. Naf would, but he didn’t want to break down in front of him, and if he started talking about Tama he knew he would, because it had taken all of his strength not to start crying in front of Dante. He didn’t feel comfortable crying in front of anyone, but if he did, it would be with Corey.

  “Whatcha doin’ in ’ere?”

  Sledge bolted upright, his gaze darting to Naf. “Nuthin’. I didn’t know you were home, your car’s not here.”

  Naf entered the room, dressed in the same hoodie and jeans from yesterday, and reeking of cigarette smoke. “It broke down.”

  “Sorry. Do ya know where Corey is? I wanna talk to him ’bout...” Tama. “...things.”

  “He’s pro’bly sleeping the party off somewhere.”

  Sledge stood up. “What party?”

  Naf took a step back. “Ah... At Kirstin Jones’s place. He wanted to stay behind, so I left with your cousins Tag... I mean, Kane and Mick, to do a bit of tagging.”

  “Kirstin Jones as in Len Jones’s daughter, the fattest bastard in Auckland and the same prick who shot at Dante and attacked Ash?”

  “I have no idea who her father is, and Jones is a common name. Anyway, your cousins were there, so chill, it must be alright.”

  “Still, why the hell didja take Corey to a party? You know what he’s like; he’d be filling up on booze and drugs.”

  “Stop tripping, man. He’s pro’bly sleeping it off at Ty...” Naf grimaced. “He met someone and is most likely at their place.”

  Yeah, probably some slapper, Sledge thought. God, why did Corey do this shit? He was going to get hurt again, he could just see it. “Do ya know where the chick lives? I’ll go pick him up.”

  “He doesn’t need ya holding his hand; he can make his own way back.”

  “He’s sick, and he has the worst taste in chicks. I don’t want him gettin’ hurt again.” Sledge clenched his hands. “Don’t look at me like that; I’m worried after what happened with Juliet, and you should be too.”

  “Yeah, true,” Naf said, looking guilty.

  Sledge’s ears perked up at the sound of a car. Hoping it was Corey, he headed outside, but instead got Juliet. Her eyes locked onto his. Looking panicked, she fumbled with the door handle, getting it open as Sledge ran for her.

  He slammed it shut. “You might as well tell me why you beat up Corey, cos I’m not letting you get away this time.”

  “No, let go of the door, I hafta pick up Ash.”

  “Then why’d ja come home?”

  “None of your biz, let go!”

  “No! You tell me why you punched Corey. Now!”

  “It’s between me and Corey, not you.”

  Sledge slammed a fist into the panel next to Juliet. She squealed and jumped to the side, raising her hands to cover her head. “Tell me or I’ll make ya!”

  Naf pushed himself in between them. Sledge looked down at his short mate, thinking the bloke had balls. Naf couldn’t fight to save himself, let alone protect Juliet.

  “Corey doesn’t want cha hurtin’ her, so back off,” Naf said.

  Sledge sneered at him. “You’ve changed your tune. I heard you yelling at her yesterday. Has Corey told ja what happened?”

  “It’s between Corey and Juliet, not you.”

  Sledge leaned over Naf, dwarfing him. “Tell me.”

  Naf looked like he was going to piss himself. “Corey doesn’t want cha knowing.”

  Sledge’s lips twitched. “Why am I the only one not allowed to know?”

  “Cos it’s up to Corey.”

  “But, he never hides stuff from me.”

  “Oh, yes he does.”

  “Like what?” Sledge said, feeling like this had more to do with him than Juliet.

  “Believe you me, you don’t wanna know.”

  Sledge breathed out, trying to calm himself down. “But, I do.”

  Naf shook his head as a car turned into the driveway. Sledge’s gaze shifted to the Alfa Romeo. His eyes widened in shock. What the fuck was Corey doing with Tyler Jones?

  Sledge ran for the car, yanking the door open as Tyler pulled on the handbrake. He jammed an arm across Tyler’s neck and undid the seatbelt.

  “Get offa me!” Tyler struggled against him, trying to push Sledge’s face away.

  “Leave him alone, Sledge!” Corey yelled.

  Once the buckle was undone, Sledge yanked Tyler out, furious that the poof was even in the same proximity as Corey. Tama had told him all about Tyler hitting on Corey a few months back, so now it was his turn to hit on Tyler, just with his fists.

  “Your uncle almost killed my brother!” Sledge yelled, raising a fist.

  “No!” Corey grabbed Sledge’s arm and tried to pull him away.

  Yanking it free, Sledge dropped Tyler and turned on Corey. “What the fuck are you doin’ with that princess? Tama warned you ’bout him.”

  “He’s a mate.”

  “A mate?” Sledge stared at Corey in disbelief. “His dad and uncle have attacked my brothers more than once, and you’re his mate? You’re s’posed to be mine.”

  Corey’s face screwed up.

  “You’re not gonna cry, are ya?” Sledge said. “What sort of pansy-arsed shit is this? First Juliet beats you up, then you come home with this twat.” He gestured towards Tyler. “And why the hell is he giving you a lift for anyway? Are ya doin’ his cousin?”

  “No.”

  “Then what?”

  Corey’s gaze moved past Sledge. “I went with him last night.”

  “Where to?”

  “I... Ah... Go away!” Corey yanked his beanie over his eyes.

  Sledge grabbed Corey’s wrist and pulled the beanie back up. “Tell me straight or I’ll pull the damn thing off.”

  Corey tried to free his hand. “Lemme go!”

  “Not until you tell me,” Sledge said, grabbing the other one.

  “I went to his place in Herne Bay. Okay!”

  Sledge let go and cupped Corey’s face, trying to see if there were any new bruises. “Did he hurt you?”

  Corey yanked his face free. “No!”

  “What were you thinking goin’ with him? You know he has a thing for you. He could’ve forced you.”

  �
��He didn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want!”

  Sledge went still. “What’s that s’posed to mean?”

  Corey stared back, his face frightened. “Nuthin’.”

  “No, you tell me now or I’ll bash the shit outta that fuckin’ homo,” he said, pointing at Tyler.

  “Then you might as well bash me too, cos I’m the same as him.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  Corey started shaking, his expression terrified. “Yes, I am. I’m a fag, a queer, a princess and a fuckin’ homo—all the things you hate. So, leave Tyler alone, this isn’t his fault, it’s mine, cos I went to Kirstin’s party looking for him.”

  Sledge shook his head. “You can’t be a fag, you went with Juliet.”

  “Well, I am.”

  “But you had that threesome with...” me. No! Corey didn’t touch him AT ALL, and the chick blew Corey, therefore his mate had to like females, because he’d gotten hard. And Tyler was hot, and if he was desperate enough for sex even he would let the guy blow him, but that didn’t make him or Corey gay. “You’re confused,” Sledge said. “One blow, or whatever you guys did, doesn’t make you a fag,” which he knew all too well, the memory of the transvestite sucking him off coming back.

  “I’m not confused,” Corey replied.

  “Then why didja fuck Juliet?” Sledge glanced over at his sister, thinking Tyler was a hell of a lot prettier. “Did she put you off females?”

  “What?!” Juliet screamed.

  Corey shook his head. “No, I like her—”

  “Cos I look like you!” Juliet yelled at Sledge. “He used me cos he wants you! And you really wanna know why I punched him?”

  “No, Juliet!” Corey shouted.

  “Cos he called out your name when he came!”

  Sledge’s face fell, the memory of Corey shouting his name finally hitting home. He turned back to Corey. “That’s why Juliet beat you up?”

  Corey started crying again.

  Sledge’s mind went back to the threesome. Oh God, Corey had been perving at him. “You set up that threesome.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Corey spun around and ran for the house.

  Tyler went to follow.

  Sledge grabbed him from behind. “Oh, no you don’t, you’re not ever goin’ near him again.”

  “He’s my boyfriend, so lemme go!” Tyler shouted, trying to free himself.

  “He’s not your boyfriend!”

  “Yes, he is, cos it was my name he called out last night, not yours!”

  Before Sledge knew what he was doing, he had blood on his fist with Tyler screaming underneath him. Something banged into his side, knocking him off Tyler. He landed on his back as Corey rolled off him. His mate curled up into a ball, his moans punctuated with swearing.

  Naf ran over to Corey. “Bro, you alright?”

  Corey shook his head, then hit out at Naf when his brother tried to help him up. Sledge pushed Naf aside and scooped up Corey in his arms. Corey continued to swear, his expression pained.

  Sledge glared down at Tyler. “Move your car,” he barked.

  Tyler covered his nose. “Fuck you,” he said, his voice muffled.

  Naf bent down and searched Tyler’s pockets for keys. “They must be in the car.” He jumped into the Alfa Romeo, then reversed out onto the road.

  Sledge carried Corey over to Juliet and her car. “Open the backdoor; I’m taking him to the hospital.”

  Juliet pulled it open, her expression full of guilt. Sledge gently laid Corey on the back seat, then took his sister’s keys. Without a word, he got in and backed out.

  17

  Ash

  Ash walked around the blue Ford as Juliet unlocked it, wondering why she was picking him up from the hospital in Corey’s car.

  He slipped into the front passenger seat and clicked on his seatbelt. “What happened to your car?”

  She shut her door. “Sledge is borrowing it, cos...” She bit her lip, looking like she was about to cry. “It isn’t my fault, it’s Corey’s, but Sledge looked at me like I caused the problem. He always blames me for everything.”

  “What happened?”

  She brought a hand to her face.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he said, pushing her hair back.

  “Corey called out Sledge’s name while we were having sex, and Sledge found out.”

  Ash almost choked.

  “It’s not funny!”

  “I didn’t laugh, you just took me by surprise.” He leaned over and hugged her. “And those arseholes aren’t worth gettin’ upset over.”

  Juliet rested her head against him. “I can’t help it; I’ve made a right mess of things. I told Sledge what happened, and cos of it he beat up Corey’s new boyfriend. Corey ended up gettin’ hurt tryna stop him.”

  “That’s not your fault, that’s Sledge’s and Corey’s. But still, why the hell didja go after Corey for?”

  “I didn’t, he came onto me.”

  Ash let go of her and shook his head. “The bloody user. He obviously asked you cos he didn’t think he could get Sledge that way.”

  “But, I don’t get it, he doesn’t look gay.”

  “He does to me. That kid follows Sledge round like a lap dog with his tongue hanging out and drool dripping offa it.”

  “Then, why didn’t cha tell me?”

  “I didn’t know you were interested in him, you never said.”

  “You still could’ve told Sledge, you’re the only one who wouldn’t have gotten hit for it.”

  “It’s none of my biz, plus Sledge is just as much hung up on that twat as Corey is on him.”

  Juliet pulled a face. “Whatcha talking ’bout? Sledge isn’t gay. God, he’s a homophobic bastard. I just told you he gay-bashed Corey’s boyfriend.”

  “Did Sledge hit Corey?”

  “No.”

  “Then you’ve just proved my point. Sledge is jealous, cos he wants Corey.”

  “He does not, Sledge is the opposite of gay; he bones any girl who shows interest in him.”

  “He could be bi or pansexual.”

  “Pan what?

  “It’s to do with being attracted to someone, not their gender.”

  “That doesn’t make sense.”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “Well, I don’t believe it. Sledge wouldn’t do Corey, gays disgust him.”

  “Then why didn’t he bash Corey as well as that other guy?”

  “Cos Corey’s got cancer.”

  “Nah, it’s got nuthin’ to do with Corey being sick. Sledge is definitely jealous, and just cos he likes females doesn’t mean he won’t go with Corey. And you can’t always tell whether someone is gay by their looks. I’ve met the most violent thugs who don’t look gay at all, yet they still prefer guys. People get caught up in this stereotype where gays must act and look a certain way, which is a load of bullshit.”

  Juliet’s voice softened. “Is this ’bout Chaz?”

  “It’s got nuthin’ to do with that perverted freak, you can’t even class him in the same category. He’s not gay or bi, he’s a rapist. I don’t think gender comes into play with rapists, they’re sickos who get off on ruining peoples’ lives.” He stopped, his mind finally processing what she’d said—and what he’d let slip. “You know what he did to me?”

  She nodded. “I still can’t believe he raped you.”

  He dropped his gaze.

  “I wish you’d told me ‘bout what really happened,” she said.

  “I don’t like talking ’bout it,” Ash mumbled. “And Sledge should’ve kept his big mouth shut; it’s my biz, no one else’s.”

  “He didn’t tell me, Chaz’s brother did.”

  Ash looked up. “Who?”

  “His brother wuz one of the prisoners at the hospital. He also told us ’bout how Chaz had the same thing done to him as a kid by their uncle, which makes sense, cos I guess people who’ve been abused end up abusing others.”

  “I would never do that.”
<
br />   “Oh God, I’m sorry, Ash, I didn’t mean you, of course not everyone would do that.”

  He glanced out the window at the hospital, the same place he’d been brought to after he’d been raped. He couldn’t comprehend how someone who’s been abused could do it to someone else, because they knew how it felt. “Is Chaz’s brother still in hospital?” he asked. He wouldn’t hurt him; he only wanted to talk to the man. He wasn’t sure why, he just did.

  “No, he got sent back to prison earlier today.” She started sniffing. “I still can’t believe he’s related to Chaz. I’ve always liked Tama’s stepdad.”

  Ash’s head snapped around. “What?”

  “Tama’s stepdad is Chaz’s brother. I only found out yesterday.”

  “You’re pulling my leg?”

  “No, I wish I wuz, and I wish yesterday never happened.” She started crying again. “Cos that would mean Tama wouldn’t be dead.”

  “Shit, you’re hitting me with one thing after another. How’d he die?”

  “In the prison riot.”

  “Well, at least sumpthin’ good came outta that. And you shouldn’t be crying over that rapist scum. It’s just a shame Chaz didn’t get taken out at the same time.”

  She hit Ash’s leg. “Don’t say that! I like Tama.”

  “Christ, Juliet, how can you like him after what he did?”

  “He didn’t rape that woman.”

  “Yes, he did. I’ve seen Jess and she’s shattered. I know what that feels and looks like. And you and Sledge are deluding yourselves if you choose to believe Tama’s lies.”

  “He didn’t lie.”

  “He did! And I don’t understand how you can’t see that. If Tama can almost kill two people, why is it such a big leap that he could commit rape?”

  She scrunched up her face and shook her head.

  Ash exhaled. She damn well knew it was true, he could see it clear as day. “You just don’t wanna admit what he did cos you still have a crush on him. Well, get over it, Juliet, cos we fall for the wrong people all the time, and just cos you like someone it shouldn’t blind you to what they are. I made the mistake of liking and trusting Chaz, and look what happened. You’re too sweet, Juliet, you want to see the good in people so you glaze over all the bad they do. Tama wuz a sick bastard, so don’t you dare mourn him.”