Damaged (Bound & Tied Book 1)

by Lucy Rinaldi

  ~ ~ ~

  “Baby, I have to go work. I have surgery at nine”

  “Hmm. Kay” I’m still half asleep, it’s so early in the morning, and my man’s off to work. I wish he didn’t have to go, I miss him all the time he’s gone.

  “I love you, precious girl”

  “I love you more,” I feel his smile against my head as he kisses me goodbye. I smile, close my eyes and fall back to sleep. 6am is just way too early for me these days.

  I’m woken a short while later by the sound of the door banging; ugh, Sam must have forgotten her key again. I drag myself out of bed to answer it. But when I open it the person standing there is not the person I expected. “Mercedes”

  “Faith” Ugh! What the hell does she want, more to the point who the hell let her in the damn building?

  “May I come in?” I nod and step aside, letting her walk past me and into the apartment.

  “To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?” Torture more like!

  “I won’t beat around the bush, Mercedes. My son asked me to come and speak with you” Oh? Okay, not what I expected. “He asked me to inform you that he won’t be coming back here. He’s moving back home with his father and me, and he would like Alex to pack up his things for him”

  “Why? Is this about last night?” What the hell? He’s leaving me because of what happened? He can’t, I thought we fixed it. Why on this earth would he send his mother to tell me this? Blake never struck me as a coward.

  “I have no idea what happened between you both last night, Mercedes, and I have no desire to know. My son is moving back home to try and work things out with Justine”

  “Justine?” Eh, who the fuck is that?

  “Yes, his ex-girlfriend... Well, no, you’re now his ex girlfriend”

  “Wait, what?” What the hell? I can’t think straight. He’s going back to her, the woman who lied to him and cheated on him? This can’t be true, it just can’t. Sam said they weren’t even in a real relationship, why the fuck would he want to be with her in any way? None of this is making sense to me. I can’t get my head around it.

  “He’s been seeing her for a couple of weeks. They became close again after she paid him a visit at the hospital. I tried to warn you, I told you you weren’t right for him, that you couldn’t give him what he needed, but you had to know best. I knew this would happen, but you wouldn’t listen” I don’t know what to think. Jesus, he told me he loved me, that I was his everything. Was I just something to fill the gaps, something to pass the time away until she came back to him? I really don’t get this, was he in love with her the whole time? “You never forget your first love, Mercedes, the spark is always there. I’m sorry it had to come to this. And I’m even more sorry that he couldn’t tell you all this himself. Even you deserve better than this. I do hope you understand girls like you don’t get the happy ending. You’re damaged goods. Why would any man, especially a man like Blake, settle for you when they had perfection to begin with?” Fucking harsh much?! Bitch! Like I didn’t know all this shit about myself before!

  “I don’t believe you,” I try to hold myself and make her believe me, but how can I expect her to believe me when I don’t even believe myself?

  “Mercedes, I didn’t come here to make you believe me, I came here because my son asked me to. Now you can stand here and act the big unhurt girl all you like, but it won’t change the fact he’s not coming back” I hang my head and look at the floor. She has totally and utterly floored me, I’m gobsmacked. How could he do this to me, did I mean nothing to him at all? My heart is utterly shattered, my body’s shaking involuntarily and I feel like I’m gonna throw up. Every insecurity I have ever felt has suddenly washed over me. I am now nothing more than what my father told me I was.

  “He didn’t have the guts to come and tell me this for himself?”

  “He didn’t want to have you beg him to stay. My son is a good man and he wouldn’t have been able to leave you had you begged. No one wants to be with someone just to stop them from killing themselves. My son deserves better, don’t you think?”

  He told her about me cutting myself? He has to have, why else would she have mentioned killing myself? Why would he tell me he loved me this morning if he doesn’t? God, did I imagine that? I was half asleep! “Is um... Is that all, Mrs. Benedict?” God, don’t cry Mercedes, don’t give her that satisfaction.

  “Goodbye Mercedes,” I’m stunned. I didn’t even hear her leave, I’m in shock. What am I going to do now? I have to get out of here; I don’t know what to do my minds gone blank. I walk to my bathroom, shower in quick time, get dressed afterward, and then walk back into my room. I pack a small bag with a few clothes, grab my passport and close my bedroom door behind me. I look around the living room, thankful that no one’s home, I can make my getaway without any distractions. I find a pen and paper in the kitchen and write Sam a quick note.

  Sam, thanks for everything, babe, it’s been a blast. Take care of yourself, and hug Alex for me. I’m sorry I have to go like this, without saying Goodbye, but I can’t stay here anymore. I feel so empty; I’ll be in touch soon. I love you, always.

  See you soon, Mercedes xxx

  I push it into an envelope and write her name across the front. I place it on the dining room table and leave. I stand in the elevator taking deep breaths, and fighting back the tears. I don’t know where to go or what to do. A thought hits me, yes, that’s where I’ll go, that’s who I need to see...

  ~ ~ ~

  Chapter Twenty.

  God, this has been one hell of a long journey, and I’m so tired it’s unreal. I climb out of my cab and walk into his building block, I just hope he’s home. I really should have called ahead to let him know I was coming for a visit, but my mind was all over the place that I just didn’t think about it. Besides, he’ll be happy to see me just like he always is. Nervously, I knock the door and wait for an answer. I have no idea why I’m nervous I really have nothing to be nervous about. I’m a little shocked as some guy I don’t know answers the door all smiles. He’s mixed raced by the look of him, quite dark, though but very handsome; his dark chocolate eyes are just breathtaking. He looks at me in a I’d-fuck-you-in-a heartbeat kind of way. I just roll my eyes because I’m used to these kind of looks, and to be honest it gets boring. “Is Robbie home?”

  “Yeah, man, who are you?” Man? God, he’s so typically English! His accent is nothing like my brothers, my brother speaks very upper class, polite and well spoken. This Man speaks like... I have no idea, it’s strong and unusual, a little like Roberto’s driver, Alexander. But, Alexander’s accent isn’t this strong. Why do I always get a warm feeling inside of me when I think about Alexander? The way he held me before I left Italy has been on my mind since I got home. He made me feel loved. How is that even possible?

  “I’m his sister”

  “Which one?”

  Is he fucking kidding? “Well, as I so obviously am not fourteen, and don’t speak with an Italian accent, I’d say I was the other one!” He smiles cheekily at me and ushers me inside. My brother’s apartment isn’t very big like the one I share with Sam, but it’s nice just the same.

  “Robbie, your sister’s here, man!” Why the heck does he keep saying man in every sentence? Is it some weird British thing?

  “Sadie!” I see him, my big brother as he comes out of one of the rooms with a massive smile on his beautiful face. He engulfs me into his arms, and I suddenly feel like crying. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

  “Nothing, I’m just so happy to see you. I’ve missed you” He smiles at me and hugs me tightly. I really have missed him like crazy; we have a special bond Robbie and me, a bond kind of like Blake and Alex’s.

  “Noel, this is my little sister, Mercedes. Sadie, this is Noel, my best friend by all accounts”

  “Screw you, Robo” Robo?! God, they talk weird here. “Nice to meet you, Mercedes” He holds out his hand and I take it, shaking it politely. I get a warm, kind feeling from him,
like I’d be safe in his presence, even though he’s a complete idiot!

  “Call me Sadie. Everyone else does” He smiles and nods.

  “And just for the record” My brother interjects. “Sadie is well out of your league, so don’t get any ideas” Noel opens his mouth to speak in protest, but my brother shakes his head stopping him, which only makes me smile to myself. Robbie and his big brother routine always makes me smile. “I’ll put it in terms you are more likely to understand. If you so much as smile at my sister for one second longer than is necessary I will gouge out your eyes and leave you where the crows can feast upon you. And believe me when I say, there will be nothing left of you for your mother to bury”

  “What the fuck?!” My brother is in no way a violent man but, it seems when it comes to me both he and Angelo can easily become so. “Wow, you must mean a lot to him”

  “Everything, Noel. She means everything to me, and best friend or not if you go against me when it comes to my sister, then I will kill you” Noel looks at my brother wide eyed and a little amused, but he nods in agreement nonetheless. When my brother is satisfied that Noel has gotten the message he wraps his arms around me again and kisses my head. “Let me get rid of him and then you and I can talk” He whispers in my ear. I nod against him without go of him. Yes, here is where I can sort my head out, here is where I can get away from everything back home.

  ~ ~ ~

  As the days went by my brother introduced me to most of his friends, something Blake’s never done. Not that I really gave him a chance to. But after over three months of knowing me, you’d think he would have! Or after we started dating at least. I told Robbie about the fact I’d cut myself, but not as to why I’d done it. He was sympathetic, but a little angry with me for the fact I’d cut myself again, and he made sure I knew he wasn’t happy about it. He wanted to know what happened, what had made me so upset that I would sink that low again. I made some lame excuse about my pills not working right. I don’t like keeping things from him, but I didn’t know what to say to him. He removed the few stitches from my cut a week after I arrived. It made me smile watching him in Dr. mode. He sat on the couch with me afterward with my head on his shoulder, while we watched some old British comedy he likes. It bored the hell out of me, but I said nothing because I was just happy to be with my brother.

  Robbie introduced me to his girlfriend on my second day here; she’s twenty five, fake blonde and even faker boobs. She informed me that she’s a nurse at the same hospital Robbie works for. She so obviously hates me. She’s a total bitch and finds any excuse to talk to me like shit. I note she doesn’t do it in front of my brother. Truth is, if she did he’d probably yell at her, which I don’t want because even though she’s a bitch, I know what it’s like to be yelled at by your man. It’s not a nice feeling. Unless it’s for effect in some sick sex game, of course, then I’m all for it! “God, why are you always in my damn way!” She snapped at me one night, in that over the top posh British accent of hers.

  “I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware I was in your way, Tina” Jeez, she’s always so rude to me; I’m not even in her way, I was just walking out of the living room to go to bed and she started... Again! I’d love to wipe that damn look off her face with my fist! If she’s not fucking careful, I damn well will! Being here with my brother a lot of my old self has reappeared. All of the freedom I feel to be myself has come flooding back. I don’t feel scared to be myself anymore, and I really like how it feels! Now that I don’t have to worry about Elijah and how he’ll react I have no reason to repress who I truly am. It won’t be so good for those who cross me though!

  “Well, you are. When may I ask are you leaving?” Jesus, how rude can she be?!

  “When I’m ready to. Or when MY brother asks me to!”

  “He’s my boyfriend; don’t you think we’d like some privacy? We’ve had no time alone together since you arrived here” Okay, so she kind of has a point, I’ve been here two weeks and I haven’t left them alone the whole time, only to sleep. I feel really bad now. I guess I should go to a hotel; this really isn’t fair, I see that now.

  “Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll get my things” She doesn’t say anything in response she just smiles a thank-fuck-your-leaving kind of smile.

  I slowly pack my things into my bag. I feel a bit disheartened, I don’t get why women always seem to hate me. Sam’s really the only woman I’ve ever gotten on with. All my friends have always been male. Even at school girls hated me.

  The bedroom door suddenly knocks making me jump a mile. “Sadie?”

  “Eh, yes. Just a minute!” I unlock the door, letting my brother inside, he doesn’t look happy at all. “Robbie I’m sorry about...”

  “No, don’t you dare say sorry. Tina had no right to say those things to you. Noel told me what she said after she bragged to him like it was some great achievement” Oh, big mouthed bitch! Fucking gloating like she’s some big woman! Wait, he’s got scratch marks down his neck, how the hell did that happen?

  “What happened to your neck?” I grab his face between my fingers, turning him so I can look at the scratches; he shakes his head in a Don’t-worry-about-it kind of way. Oh hell no, that bitch hit my brother! I let go of him and fold my arms across my stomach. “Did she do that?” He shrugs “Did she leave?”

  “No, she’s in the other room; she’s fine now, sis, she’s calmed down” He smiles. I don’t think this is the first time she’s done this to him. Oh, but it’ll be the last! My fucking blood starts to boil; the adrenaline starts pumping within me. I storm out of my bedroom. “No, Sadie, wait!” Too late I’m in the living room. She’s on the couch with Noel, watching some TV show and I can feel my brother breathing right behind me. But I don’t care I’m fucking fuming; no one touches my brother and gets away with it! All the anger I have felt over the past few weeks seems to be boiling over, and unfortunately for her, she’s going to be the one to at the receiving end of it!

  “You! Did you do this?” I point at Robbie’s neck, and he looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up. She just looks at me and shrugs her shoulders while rolling her eyes. Oh hell no! I grab her hair, dragging her from her seat. She squeals as I pull her up against me. “You wanna hit someone; you hit me, you fucked up bitch! Don’t you ever put your hands on my brother again! Not for any reason, do you fucking hear me?!” She doesn’t answer me, she just grabs my hands, trying hard to pull her hair from my grip, and I can hear Noel yelling “Hit her, Sadie” His yelps of laughter at the fact this bitch is gonna get what she deserves only fuels my anger toward her even more.

  “Robbie! Stop your sister, please… she’s crazy!”

  “Sis, please” I hold my index finger against my lips to tell him to be quiet. I wink at him, pull my fist back, and punch her so hard in the face her nose pops. I let go of her hair as her hands find her bloodied nose. But I’m not done with her yet. I have so much rage in me, I just want to kill her then bring her back to life and kill her again! I grab her face and pull her toward me so were nose to nose, one thing Elijah taught me well was how to hit someone the right way and win. Not that I ever needed any help learning to fight, I’ve always been handy with my fists when it comes to people hurting my brothers and my little sister.

  “You ever touch my brother again, and I swear I’ll kill you! This is not a threat, it’s a fucking promise!”

  “Sadie, enough!” I let go of her instantly, my brother’s authoritative tone, bringing me back to earth with a thud. I don’t know why I snap so hard when it comes to my brother, but I do. I have done a few times, and it’s never pretty. I guess I just don’t like anyone hurting him, or Angelo for that matter. I may not have been able to protect myself, but I made damn sure they were okay, and I will continue to make sure they are until the day I die! It might have something to do with the fact their father is an abusive piece of shit, even to them. I watch as she looks at Robbie and then runs from the apartment, leaving me standing there, breathing heavy and angry
as fuck inside. I’m guessing she didn’t mean all that much to my brother because he doesn’t follow her. That’s really not like my brother at all. Unless he’s going to follow her once I’ve calmed down. Shit, what if she calls the police?! Would serve me right, I suppose. “Don’t think on it, Mercedes, you’ll be fine. She’s not going to go to the police and make herself look stupid” Yes, she’s right, I hope.

  “Robbie, man, your sister’s class!” What the hell is this man talking about? I’ve been here two weeks and I’m still struggling with his accent, although right now I can’t help but laugh as he imitates what I’ve just done to Tina. He puts his arm around my shoulder. “You’re one crazy girl. Man, that made my day!” I smile at him, as he kisses my cheek.

  “Why did you do that, Sadie?” Oh, my brother’s really mad at me. He can be mad all he likes she deserved it!

  “You know why, and next time I won’t be so nice!”

  “Shit, I wish my sister loved me enough to beat my abusive girlfriends up” I imagine this man has had many abusive girlfriends, his accent is enough to make a girl want to beat him half to death! Or is it just me?

  “Shut the fuck up, Noel! Don’t give her any more encouragement for Christ sakes” Noel’s actually quite fun, in a complete dickhead kind of way, but I like him nonetheless.

  “Don’t be angry with me Robbie; I don’t want anyone hurting you it pisses me off, you know that”

  He walks over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Yes, I know that Sadie; and I don’t want anyone hurting you either, but... I guess we need to learn to control our fiery Italian tempers, huh?”

  “I don’t think that’s possible” I smile at him and he laughs, pulling me into his arms. I really love my brother, and if he thinks I’ll calm down when someone hurts him, he’s crazy. Secretly, I know he won’t calm his temper when it comes to me either. My brother is too nice for his own good sometimes though, especially when it comes to women. He would never hurt a woman in any way and, so he’s put up with that stupid bitch and her abuse because of that fact. Well, no more!