Damaged (Bound & Tied Book 1)

by Lucy Rinaldi

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  Chapter Twenty One.

  Over the next few days that followed I learned that Tina no longer wanted to be with Robbie. Sad that he didn’t know how to tell her he no longer wanted to be with her before then. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings. That is no reason to stay with someone! So of course, when she ended things he was relieved. It’s no loss that she had ended things in my opinion, or his by the smile that hasn’t left his face in days.

  I told him about Blake and the love we shared. He thinks it’s wonderful that I found true love. Then I told him about how we broke up, I didn’t tell him the reason why I just said it wasn’t working out, and that’s why I came to visit, because I needed a break. I don’t really want to get into why I left Blake right now. It’s so hard knowing that I wasn’t enough for him, that he couldn’t forget his ex. I say ex she wasn’t even that? He must have loved her as much as he says he didn’t! God, it hurts so much knowing he lied to me about loving me. Why would he do something like that to me? After everything I’ve been through. After how hard it was for me to trust again. God, I always knew he’d leave me, I just thought it would have been a little more in the future, not just weeks after us getting together. But then it’s what I deserve, I did kiss another man after all! Why on this earth did I think he’d honestly forgive me for that? I know I would never have forgiven him should he have cheated like that. But I so wanted him to be the one. In my heart he will always be the one for me, I just wasn’t lucky enough to be the one for him. Then again, why would I be? He’s the most desirable man in the country, the man all women want. Rich and powerful. He could literally have any woman he wanted. How could I ever keep a man like that?

  “You know it’s been great having you here, sis, and you know you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you like”

  “But?” There’s always a “But”

  “But, don’t you think you should call Sam and let her know that you’re okay?” He’s got a point; I haven’t even called or texted Sam to let her know I’m safe. She’ll be going out of her mind with worry.

  “Later, bro. Time zones suck, it’ll be late there. I’ll call tonight it’ll be morning there, then” He looks at me with a, you-always-say-that kind of look. But I just smile and he rolls his eyes and smiles at me.

  “I’m taking you to an English Air show tomorrow. Then Monday I’m taking you to Buckingham Palace” Wow! Now Buckingham Palace is something I really want to see. Although the one place I want to see more than anything in this world is the Palace of Versailles, it fascinates me no end. I wanted to go there with Blake one day, to see how beautiful and romantic it is, but that’s not possible now, is it?

  “Sounds great, Robbie. I can’t wait,” I smile at him; he’s such a good big brother. I love how he wants to show me his homeland, and how beautiful it can be here. I also realize my brother is an utter geek! A very good looking geek, but a geek nonetheless. The door knocks bringing me out of my daydream. My brother jumps out of his seat and quickly walks to answer it.

  “Where is she?” Oh, crap on a stick! My Aunt, Robbie’s mother, that’s all I need!

  “She’s right in there”

  “Mercedes, darling”

  “Hey, Helena” She grabs me into a tight rib cracking hug and kisses my cheek. I note her now very posh British accent. Both she and my brother speak like they belong in Buckingham Palace, my brother speaks like Prince William! My aunt married a very rich English man when Robbie was just eight months old after having an affair with my uncle Leander since she was two months pregnant with my brother, after she met my uncle when he was an exchange student in her school. He’d wanted to go to America to attend school there for three months, so he could get a better understanding of what it was like to be without the privileges he was used to. They were quickly inseparable, and even though he knew she was pregnant and that the baby belonged to a very dangerous man, he still wanted her to leave with him. Even though she wasn’t quite sixteen, her mother had thrown her out of the family home. As soon as she turned sixteen she left for England with Leander, where he promised her that she would be safe with him and his family, and she was. My uncle told his parents that he’d met and fell in love with Helena within days of being in America, and that he had in fact gotten her pregnant. They were a little disappointed, but more understanding than her own parents ever were. My aunt had decided to call my brother Leighton, Leighton Hamilton-Forbes, so people would think Leander really was Robbie’s father, but Roberto was having none of it. He traveled all the way to England and forced her to give my brother his name. Once she had Roberto dragged her back to America with a one month old Robbie, upon threat that he would kill Leander. This didn’t deter Leander because he was in no way afraid of Roberto. He loved Helena and Robbie more than anything, and he soon followed her to America and made her see that nothing would happen to any of them, that both she and Robbie would be better off with him in England. My aunt sat with Roberto and explained how she would never stop him, seeing Robbie, but she didn’t love him and if he was honest he didn’t love her either. She begged him to let her leave and have a life with Leander, and that Robbie would always know that Roberto was his father. It took her two hours, but he allowed her to go. Even though my aunt was only sixteen and my uncle seventeen at the time, his parents along with my aunt’s father gave them permission to marry, which they did a few short months later when my aunt turned seventeen. She was true to her word and allowed Roberto access to my brother once a year. She never allowed him to go to Italy to stay until he was eight years old though. What Roberto didn’t know until my brother turned eighteen was that as soon as my aunt returned to England with Robbie she had his birth certificate altered. Somehow Leander’s bodyguard got false blood tests stating Leander was Robbie’s biological father, and the birth certificate was changed, taking Roberto off and adding Leander as his father. My aunt wasn’t stupid though she kept my brother’s name similar, calling him Robert Leighton Hamilton-Forbes. Roberto was so angry when he found out! How he didn’t know before my brother was eighteen, I’ll never know. He could have easily seen my brother’s name on his passport, but just like with mine, he never cared to look! Roberto threatened to kill Helena for what she’d done, she was terrified. I don’t know what happened, but Roberto never did see his threat through, which wasn’t like him at all! I’m guessing Leander had some dirt on him that could have ended badly for Roberto, and that’s why Roberto never so much as spoken on one to Helena since. Even though Robbie has always known Roberto was his father biologically, he’s never seen him as anything but a bad man who used to hurt him. In my brother’s eyes Leander has always been and will always be his father.

  My aunt and uncle were blessed with a little girl when my brother was ten, but my aunt was seriously ill throughout the pregnancy, so much so that her little girl was born three and a half months prematurely. She struggled to survive, hooked up to machines and breathing apparatus, and sadly she passed away at just three days old. Her name was Clara. If the death of her daughter wasn’t enough my aunt was then told she would never be able to bear another child, and she never has. I sometimes think that’s the reason she loves my brother so much, she can’t bear it when she’s not within arms reach of him. My uncle is a Lord of some kind, I’m not really sure how, all I know is, he’s very wealthy and high up in English society. My aunt only ever returned to American twice after leaving to marry Leander. Once for some girl she knew who was seriously ill, I remember her telling me all about it. But for some reason I can’t remember anything that was said in that conversation. The second time she returned was for my mother’s funeral. I do find my aunts accent fascinating, though, but I guess living in the same country for almost twenty six years will make you lose your accent.

  “How are you? You’ve grown so much”

  “Mother, she is almost twenty four” My brother laughs making me smile; he’s such a handsome man, well-spoken and graceful. Kind of makes me wonder why the hell
he’s friends with Noel, I hardly understand a word that man says.

  “I know cheeky, but six years is a long time not to see someone. People change a lot in that time” I haven’t seen my aunt in the flesh since I was seventeen. I see her once a month on Skype, but it’s not the same.

  “I’m good thank you, Helena” My aunt is such a beautiful woman, Robbie really takes after her. For a woman in her early forties, she still looks like a woman in her early thirties, long legs, slim figure, gorgeous brown eyes, and long blonde hair, I note this is not her natural color. She dresses so elegantly, she’s dressed in a navy above the knee figure hugging dress, and matching high heels. God, I hope I have her figure when I’m in my forties.

  “You look so much like your mother, but you have your father’s eyes, and his smile,” I smile at her as she kisses my cheek. I don’t even know who my real father is, and I highly doubt she does, obviously she thinks Roberto’s my father and I hate the fact she thinks I look like him in any way!

  “Well, if I could gouge my eyes out and sow up my mouth, believe me I would,” I giggle to myself, because if I really was his daughter I would!

  “Mercedes” She says with a smile while rolling her eyes.

  “Do you know who my real father is?” It slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. My aunt looked from me to Robbie. I could see in that one look that she knew all along Roberto wasn’t my father. Or at least she’s known for a while. Maybe Robbie told her, after all, he and I had a long talk about it. He told me he would one day help me search for my birth father if that’s what I want. I don’t even know if that’s what I want.

  “Darling, who told you Roberto isn’t father?”

  “He did”

  “I see” She nods knowingly.

  “The comment you made about me looking like my father...”

  “Sweetheart, I know what you’re going to ask” She took my hand in hers as she cut me off. “If I knew who your real father was believe me, I would have told you long before now” I nod with a smile. I know she would have told me, my aunt is so kindhearted, she would never have left me with a monster like Roberto Moretti if she could help it. And believe me she tried many times to get my mother to hand me over to her. My mother wouldn’t allow it, and she made sure Roberto told Helena to keep her thoughts about adopting me to herself. “I will just tell you that I had my suspicions that you weren’t Roberto’s. My father told me about your mother having relations with a boy from school. In his heart and mind you were the product of that, not of Roberto and your mother. I did meet the man in question on my first trip back to America after leaving. I never mentioned you in front of him. But looking at you right now, I see him in you”

  “What’s his name?” My hearts pounding hard in my chest!

  “Alexander” My world just zoned in on me. What the hell? Roberto’s driver? That cannot be!

  “Don’t think about it, darling, knowing me I have it completely wrong. Seeing what I want to see” She giggles. Yes, of course she has it wrong. But if that’s true why do I feel like I just found out my father’s name? After all, he told me in Italy when he held me against him that he was the man who loved me more than anything in this world. Jesus Christ! “Robbie tells me you’ve broken up with your young man, and you now have a new suitor” I narrow my eyes. Way to change the subject. My aunt speaks like the Lady of the manor, it’s quite strange to me. “Don’t worry, darling, sometimes things happen for the best. I always knew that man wasn’t right for you. I told you so, didn’t I?” I nod at her. She did tell me Elijah wasn’t right for me, more than once. I may not see my aunt very much, but I talk to her on the phone once a week, well when I can, that is, and talking to her on Skype once a month always cheers me up. I never told her what Elijah used to do to me, but she could always tell he was controlling. I don’t know how she could tell, all she would ever say was “I can hear it in his voice when he talks to you” He would often shout for me to end the call because he wanted me to do something or other. It was so fucking rude, but I had to obey him! “What’s your new man like?”

  “Different” I don’t know what else to say. I don’t want my aunt, seeing me as a failure or a slut of any kind.

  “Please tell me he is nothing like that monster you were once with?” I shake my head at her. I look at my brother and smile before looking down at my hands.

  “Mother, let’s not talk about that now” I can tell he’s shaking his head at her kindly as if to say let’s-not. She seems to understand because she squeezes my hand gently and winks at me. I do love my aunt, I just wish my mother could have been more like her instead of thinking about her damn self all the time!

  We sat for a few hours talking about old times and what Robbie was like as a child, and how when he went to Cambridge University and graduated with honors my aunt almost passed out with happiness and pride. She’s very proud of him; she has every right to be, I’m proud of him too. Talking to my aunt Helena makes me miss my mother so much, but I don’t show her any sadness, it’s just nice to be here with her like this after not seeing her for six years; and even then I only saw her for a few moments. Her husband’s always taking her on vacations all over the place. She told us about her recent vacation to Egypt, and how it was so beautiful but hot. “You look so down, sweetheart,” She says while holding my hand in her as she sits next to me on the couch.

  “I’m just thinking”

  “About what, my darling?”

  “My mom” I whisper while looking down at my hands. “I miss her so much right now”

  My aunt sighs and cups my face with her left hand. “I know you miss her, darling. I miss her too. But she’s in a better place now, sweetheart”

  “I just wish she was here right now. I miss her so much. I wish she could hold me like she did when I was little”

  My aunt is such an emotional person. She looks at me with tears in her eyes, tears that match my own. “Come here, sweetheart,” I pull myself into her open arms. She holds me so close to her, stroking the back of my hair and kissing my head. “I may not be your mother, Mercedes, but I love you as those you were my daughter. I have always loved you so much, darling. You and Robbie, both of you mean everything to me. I know how hard it is to not have your mother around when you need her, but I will always be here for you should you need me”

  “Thank you for always loving me, for always trying to be my mother. I love you so much auntie Helena” I felt her smile against my head as she pulled me closer and told me she would always love me. My brother is so lucky to have a mother like Helena. I can’t for the life of me work out how my mother and Helena managed to be so different! Surely they were raised the same? They had the same parents, grew up in the same house. Maybe it was just their choices that made them different?

  After dinner, which I didn’t seem to be able to eat, I’m always so damn sick, these days, I helped my brother with the dishes, and then decided to call Sam. My brother’s right, she’ll be worried. I said goodbye to my aunt and went to my room, in search of my cell. I love my room here, it’s small but cozy with a huge white metal framed bed, a floor length mirror, a white wooden wardrobe, and a white wooden dressing table. I eventually found my cell at the bottom of my bag and turned it on. I haven’t once had the thing on since I’ve been here. Whoa! Eighty seven voice messages, ninety missed calls, and over one hundred text messages! I’ll check them all later, right now I need to call Sam. I’m aware that it’s around 1pm in California so I’m safe to call; I find her name in my phone contacts and press call. It rings and rings, and I’m just about to end the call when I hear her voice. “Sadie?”

  “Um... Hi”

  “Jesus, where the fuck are you? I’ve been going out of my mind. We all have!”

  “I’m at Robbie’s; I had to get away for a while. I’m sorry I worried you”

  “England? God, why did you leave like that?”

  “Yes, England.... It was complicated, Sam. Everything got messed up”

&
nbsp; “I’ll say. Fuck it, Sadie, why did you go? Blake’s a total mess, he hasn’t left your room in over a week”

  “Eh, why?”

  “Why do you think, you tell the man you’re in love with him, and then you leave him, just like that! No reason, no explanation, nothing”

  “Shouldn’t he be with his ex?”

  “His ex? What do you mean?”

  “He got back with her... His ex or whatever she was to him”

  “What the hell are you talking about? No, he didn’t, he’s been searching for you since the day you left. He thought maybe Elijah had got to you and hurt you, or worse. When he couldn’t find you he took to your room with your things and stayed there, grieving for you like you died. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep. He’s a goddamn mess, Mercedes. Who the fuck, told you he was back with his ex?” My poor sweet prince thinking I’m dead?! How could I let him think that, god I’m a horrible person!

  “His mom came to the apartment”

  “What, and you believed her? Oh, Sadie, how could you be so stupid? Look, talk to Blake, please”

  “No, Sam, I can’t. I just can’t” Shit! Does that woman really hate me so much that she’d hurt her own son like this? I fell for her lies hook, line and sinker, giving her exactly what she wanted. For me to leave him there alone, for almost three weeks!

  “Please Sadie; just put his mind at rest. Let him know you’re okay, he thinks you’re dead” I don’t know what to do; I want to hear his voice, to tell him I’m sorry, that I love him and I’ll never doubt him again. But I can’t, I’ll crack, my voice will fail me and nothing will come out.

  “I have to go, Sam, Robbie’s calling me. I love you. I’ll call again soon”

  “Sadie, Please”