Way of the Barefoot Zombie

by Jasper Bark

  Chapter Eight

  "Ugh, why'd they give me this shirt?" said Tatyana. "It stinks. like a corpse."

  "That's the whole point," Benjamin said. "They're clothes people died or were buried in. It makes us smell like the Zombies."

  They were standing outside the security doors to the compound. They'd been through the changing area where they were measured and fitted with damp, encrusted clothes.

  They'd been split into two parties of ten. Benjamin and Tatyana were thrilled to be in the first group chosen for an encounter. Dr Chen entered with four others all dressed and made up to resemble Zombies. Benjamin was instantly jealous. He'd never been able to get the look down as good as they had. He took mental notes for future use.

  "These are your encounter group leaders," said Dr Chen. "They're going to spend a bit of time teaching you to move properly then they'll take you in. This is a controlled environment and these are entry level undead. They've been chosen for their docility and their familiarity with the living. So long as you stick to the Five Rules of Interaction you'll be perfectly safe your first time out."

  Dr Chen stepped back and the four guides moved in on them. A Latino guy came over to Benjamin and Tatyana. He was tall and good looking and moved like a dancer. His manner was camp but relaxed and commanding.

  "Okay guys my name's Raoul," he said. "I'm going to be taking you through a few moves. Let's start with your posture. I want you to stand with your feet apart like this. Now relax your shoulders and let your arms hang down by your sides. Okay that's good, now I want you to let your head roll forward onto your chest."

  Raoul checked they were doing it properly and adjusted Benjamin's posture, pulling his shoulders down to relax them more. "Good, now when you move you have to use as few muscles as possible. So shift the weight from foot to foot like this, using only your leg muscles, and let the rest of your body move by itself."

  Raoul lurched forward, looking exactly like the Zombies Benjamin had seen. His legs moved spasmodically and his feet shuffled side to side while the rest of his body hung limp and swayed.

  Tatyana had a go and Benjamin followed. Neither of them were any good. Raoul had made it look so easy and they were messing up.

  I should be better at this, Benjamin thought. How many Zombie flicks have I watched? I should nail this first time.

  They tried a couple more times. Raoul gave them a few pointers and then they were good to go.

  "Okay everyone," Raoul said to the whole party. "This is what we're going to do. As a group we're going to move slowly into the centre of the space. We're going to stay there, standing very still until I give you the signal it's safe to move. I'll roll my head side to side like this. At that point you're free to walk off and explore. Take a look at the Zombies and try and copy them. Don't go close until you're absolutely sure you're safe. If any of you get nervous move slowly back to join the four of us in the centre. You're safer in a group and we'll protect you. When I do this," Raoul shuffled back and forth in a particular manner. "I want you all to come back and join me. That's when we'll leave at a slow and measured pace. Has everyone got that?" Everyone nodded, doing their best Zombie impression. "Okay. Time to dance."

  The automatic locks on the security doors clicked open and slid apart. The group moved out onto the sandy ground and into the blazing heat.

  Benjamin's whole life had been leading up to this moment. There were real Zombies all around them. He stole sideways glances as they shuffled into the centre of the space with the rest of the party.

  They were as magnificent as he'd imagined they would be. Shambling about in the noonday sun just as he'd pictured them a thousand times in his mind.

  Noble Monsters, Death Defiers, Graveyard Rebels, none of the names he and his fellow Deathwalkers used to describe them did the awesome creatures justice. They were the ultimate passive-aggressive subversives.

  They'd given death the middle finger and refused to lie down just because they weren't alive anymore. It was defiance that kept them up and running. Not hunger, like the idiots all around him thought. The pure defiance of anyone who tells them how to act or what to do. Defiance of the ridiculous hypocrisy of Western consumer culture and everyone who tries to uphold it.

  Rule Number Three: It doesn't matter and you don't care.

  That had been his daily mantra for the last ten years. Ever since his Mom left his Dad for a blue blood banker and thrust him into a world of false appearances and phoney standards. He'd stumbled through each day wanting to eat the brains and tear the guts out of everyone he met. That was why he understood the Zombie better than anyone on this island.

  Here he was face to face with his idols. And suddenly it did matter, and he couldn't help but care. He cared about what they were doing to these proud monsters. It mattered that they were being locked up and exploited like this.

  That's why he was here, pretending to be like these despicable cretins.

  Rule Number Four: Follow the herd but think ahead of it.

  That was exactly what he was doing. He was biding his time until the right moment came to strike. When it did, he'd make them all pay.

  They stood in the centre of the space for what seemed like ages. Hardly anyone dared move. They were huddled together in a group with four guides circling them for protection.

  Finally Raoul gave the signal for them to move off and start exploring.

  Benjamin headed very slowly over to a group of four Zombies crouched over a carcass. They were gnawing the last of the meat off its bones as the flies buzzed around them.

  Benjamin wasn't sure where the corpse had come from. He rather hoped it had been donated to the island. In the same way that some people leave their bodies to medical science.

  Lavinia sidled over and circled the group of Zombies. She winked suggestively at him. He should've snubbed her. Instead he smiled sheepishly. God he was shallow. But she gave him a hard on. What could he do?

  They were supposed to be copying the Zombies actions. Benjamin just stood very still and watched them. He was fighting to keep his excitement under control. And though he didn't want to admit it, his fear too.

  Lavinia was a lot bolder than he. She knelt ever so carefully down next to the feeding Zombies and stuck her head into the carcass. Benjamin was impressed. She had guts. With great care and patience Lavinia reached into the carcass and took out a thigh bone.

  She brought the bone up to her lips and began to nibble at it. She was slow to begin with, running her teeth and her tongue along it. Then she attacked it with more relish, mimicking the Zombies' mindless way of gnawing.

  Benjamin couldn't take his eyes off her. He really was getting a boner at the sight of her with the bone. Christ he was a sick puppy.

  A female Zombie looked up and put her hand on the bone Lavinia was gnawing. Lavinia snarled at the Zombie but it only tightened its grip on the bone.

  Lavinia wouldn't let go. The Zombie put its other hand on the bone and began to pull harder. Lavinia tugged right back and bared her teeth.

  "Mine bitch, it's mine," she shouted and yanked the bone out of the Zombie's hands. Benjamin winced as he heard one of its fingers break.

  There was an ominous moment of silence as everyone turned to look at her, including the other Zombies. From the look on her face Lavinia knew that she'd just fucked up.

  The female Zombie started to make a weird noise in the back of its throat that increased in volume. Then it sprang at Lavinia.

  Lavinia was just as quick to her feet and brought the thigh bone down on its head. Benjamin heard bone fracture but the Zombie was undeterred and kept coming for her.

  Lavinia swung twice more beating the Zombie back a few steps. The bone splintered against the Zombie's skull.

  The Zombie lurched at her and grabbed her shoulders. Lavinia put her hand on its forehead to hold it back and stabbed at its face with the splintered end of the bone.

  She rammed the bone into the Zombie's eye socket. The force of this caused its other
eyeball to pop out of its head and slither down its cheek. Blood and brain tissue bubbled out of the Zombie's empty eye socket and nasal cavities.

  "Die you fucking whore!" Lavinia shrieked.

  Without thinking Benjamin stepped forward to protect the Zombie and tripped over the carcass. Too late he realised his mistake.

  The other three Zombies got to their feet and started to make the same guttural noise the female Zombie had. All the Zombies in the compound were making it.

  Lavinia pushed the motionless female Zombie away and bolted for the exit. Most of the other guests were running too. The Zombies charged after them.

  Benjamin stood absolutely still as alarms started to blare. A Zombie hobbled right up to him. He tried not to breath or shake as it stared him directly in the face. The front of his pants became warm and damp.

  Oh God I'm going to die, he thought. His heart was battering at the inside of his chest. I don't want to die. Not here like this.

  For some reason he thought of his mother. More than anything, he wanted her to hold him and make everything better.

  Time stopped altogether. He waited for the Zombie to strike. To tear open his throat with its teeth. He wondered if it would hurt as much as he feared.

  The killing blow never came. The Zombie simply turned away and shambled off.

  Benjamin was elated. It knew. It could sense there was something different about him. That he had a rapport with them. That he understood. It could tell he had a special connection to the undead.

  Several secret doors opened and guards ran in with flame throwers. They used controlled bursts to drive the Zombies back without actually harming them.

  They corralled the Zombies as the security doors slid open and the guest were ushered through. Benjamin sauntered up to the doors without any sign of panic. He had nothing to fear from the undead.

  He walked up to the other guests with a cool air of superiority. They were all staring at him. Was that awe in their eyes or admiration? Then he realised his pants were wet. They could all see that he'd pissed himself.

  "One thing I learned about Lavinia Ponsonby," said Benjamin. "She never lets go of what's hers."

  They were standing in one of the large reception rooms off the lobby.

  "You meant nothing more to her than that bone you know," Tatyana said.

  "And what were you?" he said. "Another Zombie?"

  "I was just in her way. You're lucky she didn't try and break you over my head."

  "You're right. I was a jerk."

  "Jerk doesn't begin to cover it."

  The other guests were cackling and gossiping. Schadenfreude was the order of the day.

  "That five mil she put down," Benjamin heard Arthur Sonnenfeldt say. "That was more than she had. She was maxed out on credit just to get that."

  "Never venture what you can't afford to lose," said George Griffin. "It's a basic law of finance. Risk doesn't drive your bottom line. It merely adds to it."

  "She's lost it all now," Bessie chimed in. "Some people never learn. You never touch your reserve. You only spend the interest."

  They'd been called down as soon as they'd showered and changed. Samuel Palmer made a brief address claiming no responsibility for the incident. Instead he chided them like school kids. "The lesson to be learned from this is that when you're dealing with Zombies, don't make it personal. With the undead, just as in business, nothing is personal."

  Lavinia was being sent home, under guard, and she'd lost her deposit. Not only had she disobeyed the rules and broken the terms of her contract, according to Palmer she had also destroyed valuable property.

  The nerve of the guy referring to the noble monster as a piece of property.

  A door opened on the other side of the room and Lavinia strode in with her luggage. She held her head high. The armed guards at her side completely failed to intimidate her.

  Benjamin realised she'd purposefully chosen to walk through the room where all the guest were gathered. No sneaking shamefully out the back entrance for her. You had to admire her spirit. She was a formidable woman and she was going to let everyone know it.

  Some of the guests turned away as she walked the length of the room. Others nodded in respect. Sam McKane stepped up to take her hand. "Lavinia," he said with affection.

  "Sam."

  "These galoots treating you right?" he said pointing to the guards.

  "I've got them under control."

  "You need anything?"

  "I'm a big girl Sam. I can look after myself. But thanks for asking."

  They smiled and she walked on. As she was about to leave Benjamin stopped her. "Listen Lavinia," he said. "I just wanted to say how sorry I am about the way everything turned out. And if things had been different then, y'know, maybe..."

  Lavinia looked at him with ice cold contempt. "Maybe what? We'd ride off into the sunset together, hand in hand? Do me a favour. Get over yourself and grow up." With that she swept out of his life forever.

  Benjamin glanced over at Tatyana. She wasn't impressed. She raised an eyebrow as if to say 'what did you expect?'

  "You're right. Jerk doesn't begin to cover it."

  Chapter Nine

  Three Months Ago

  A message popped up on Benjamin's screen.

  2:03pm

  Lucio

  Dude, you doin Zombie Crawl this wknd? Shd be a blast. lol.

  2:03pm

  Ben

  Sorry, got bigger fish to fry. ;-)

  2:04pm

  Lucio

  klkl, it's gonna be a gd 1 tho.

  Yeah right. Zombie Crawl was okay for bored teenagers who enjoyed parading through town with a bunch of friends dressed as Zombies. But it was no place for a serious Deathwalker. He was about to take things to a whole new level.

  "Benjamin, have you tidied your room like you promised?" his Mom shouted.

  "Yes Mom." he lied. He'd stuff everything into a bag and jam it under his bed later.

  His Mom always went into meltdown whenever she was throwing some lame social event for Richard. A whole army of cleaners and gardeners descended on the house. His room was on the third floor anyway. It's not like any guests were going to see it. Even those that were sneaking off to schtupp someone else's wife.

  He signed out and closed his laptop. He had guests of his own coming. Better get the basement ready for them.

  He spotted Richard as he stepped out onto the landing. Automatically he put his head down and tried to walk past without being seen.

  "I thought we weren't doing this anymore," said Richard in his usual whiny voice.

  "Uh, yeah, hi," Benjamin grunted, still looking at the floor.

  "Are you helping your mother get ready for the party?"

  "Uh, yeah," said Benjamin. Then added. "Just going to tidy the basement."

  "That's right you've got your own... friends coming. They do know to use the side entrance don't they?"

  "Uh, think so."

  "Think so?"

  "No, they do."

  "Good."

  There was an uncomfortable silence then Richard said. "Is that a scar on your cheek?"

  "It's an open pus wound. I just made it."

  "An open pus wound," Richard shook his head and sighed. The dickwad. Why'd he have to act like that? Always putting Benjamin down. Never coming right out and saying it but acting like Benjamin was this weight around his neck that he had to drag around everywhere.

  It's not like he was perfect. With his goofy Hawaian shirts and sandals. And his golfing sweaters, thought Benjamin. Don't get me started on those.

  Richard looked like he wanted to say something, thought better of it and walked off. Lucky escape then.

  An hour or so later Benjamin left the basement and headed to his room. The guests were starting to arrive. A few minutes tidying would keep his Mom off his back. He was just making his way across the hall to the stairs when he heard a familiar voice.

  "Hey Sports Fans!"

  Oh shit.
/>   "Hi Mr Petersen," Benjamin turned to see a fat guy with a ginger buzz cut bearing down on him.

  "Benjamin, I got three words for ya," said Petersen clapping him on the back. "Sub Prime Mortgage! It's the future of finance my boy. Now a bright boy like you is bound to want to follow his old man into the profession."

  "What, Richard?" said Benjamin, unable to hide his contempt.

  "Hey don't knock 'im, guy's a shark. Mind like a bear trap. You wanna take on your old man though, ya gotta know where the action is. See, the way this thing works, it's beautiful. Now ya can't have a growth economy without debt, but sooner or later every schmuck who can afford it is gonna be maxed out. Ya gotta have new frontiers see. That's where the CDO comes in. That's a collateralised debt obligation, work of genius. Ya take a bunch a debts from a bunch of schlubbs that no bank's ever gonna subsidise and you mix 'em up with a bunch of legit credit, takes all the risk out of the deal. The toxic debt gets a triple A rating and the profits are through the roof. Through the roof, ya follow me?"

  "I think so."

  "Good man! See ya get rid of the toxic debt same way ya get rid of toxic waste, ya dump it into a fresh reservoir and all the risk gets flushed downstream and disperses naturally. Genius! Remember ya heard it here first."

  "Okay, thanks Mr Petersen, I'll bear that in mind."

  "Where'd ya get the scar? That a sports injury?"

  "Something like that."

  Benjamin wrestled himself free and made a bolt for the stairs.

  "Sub Prime Mortgage!" Petersen called after him. "It's a source of profit that ain't ever gonna dry up."

  Benjamin smiled and ran. Sheesh, had the guy never heard of Listerine? Toxic debt? More like toxic breath.

  "Just a minute young man." Benjamin was on the second floor when a hand grabbed him and dragged him into one of the guest rooms.

  "Mom," said Benjamin, with more than a hint of complaint in his voice.

  "Don't you 'Mom' me," she said. She was holding a large vodka Martini. "You promised me you'd tidy your room. I've just been in your room and if that's your idea of tidy you might as well live on the street."