Daddy Lessons

by Carolyne Aarsen

  He’s more than an old boyfriend, her conscience accused her.

  But she ignored the insidious voice and, as if underlining the distance between them, she took a step away. “I’ll wait until you’re done for the day before I leave,” she said, keeping her voice even and professional.

  Dan shook his head. “You’re a tutor, not a nanny.”

  “I know, but you can’t have Natasha running around downstairs unsupervised and I don’t mind watching her until the store is closed.” Hailey was pleased with how reasonable she sounded.

  Dan’s frown deepened but Hailey knew that, for now, he had few options.

  “Okay. Thanks again for helping me out.” He waited a moment, as if he wanted to say more, but then pushed himself away from the counter.

  “Before you go,” she said, “I need to talk to you about my teaching methods with Natasha.”

  Dan shot her a resigned look and, crossing his arms, rested his hip against the counter again. “Go ahead.”

  He didn’t sound very encouraging, but Hailey, feeling a bit flush from her previous small victory, pushed on.

  “I know you might not agree with my methods and what I’m doing, but I really need to emphasize that I’m a trained teacher. I may not be a psychologist, but I understand how to deal with students who won’t fit with the usual pattern of classroom discipline.”

  My goodness, listen to me, she thought. I sound like I’m lecturing him. And from the way he lifted one eyebrow at her, she knew he agreed.

  She spread her hands. “All I’m trying to say is, you want me to teach Natasha. Trust me to do it my way.”

  Dan caught the corner of his lower lip between his teeth. “But really? In the store?”

  “I told you I would be discreet and I think it’s important for Natasha to know that she can see you from time to time.”

  “And how will that work when she’s back at school?”

  “But, you see, we’re not putting her back in the school until we know she can make the transition. Make the move,” Hailey corrected.

  “I know what transition means,” Dan said dryly.

  “Sorry. I just sounded too much like a teacher.”

  Dan released a gentle laugh. “I guess I have to keep reminding myself that you are one. A teacher, that is.”

  “I have new skills. What can I say.” She attempted a smile, pleased to see one in return.

  He laughed again. “I guess that happens when you don’t see each other for seven years.” Then he grew serious. “I still can’t believe it’s been that long.”

  His quiet admission hooked like a barb in her heart.

  “Well, it has been,” she said with a brisk note in her voice, reminding herself of Natasha and Lydia and all the events that had come between them during those seven years. “It’s a cliché, but true. Time does march on. Natasha is six years old, after all.” She looked directly at him, reminding him of his obligations.

  Dan held her gaze then, and it was as if a shutter fell over his features. “That she is.” He pushed himself away from the counter. “And as far as working with her in the store is concerned, go ahead. Just keep it reasonable.”

  Hailey’s shoulders lowered. She didn’t even realize she’d been holding them up.

  “But if I feel like I don’t think it’s helping her and it’s causing a problem…” Dan let the sentence trail off as if he was unsure what he would do when the time came.

  “I’ll keep things under control,” Hailey promised.

  Dan gave her an oblique look and, as he walked away, Hailey blew out a long, slow breath.

  Round one—Hailey Deacon.

  She hoped she wouldn’t have to cross swords with him again. It seemed as if every time they faced each other the awkwardness between them grew.

  She wasn’t sure she could continue to deal with that.

  Chapter Five

  “So now I want you to divide them up into piles of three and then count them.” Hailey brushed her hair back over her shoulder, the overhead lights enhancing its red-gold shine.

  Dan leaned against the metal railing dividing the small appliances from the hardware, watching the two of them, Hailey’s red head bent over his daughter’s darker one.

  Natasha’s lips were pursed and her forehead wrinkled in concentration as she dutifully rearranged the bolts that Hailey had laid out on the table beside the scale where they weighed items for sale.

  Natasha grinned when she was done. “I have four piles.”

  “So let’s write that down,” Hailey said, handing Natasha a pencil. “Four plus three is—”

  “Seven.” Natasha’s triumphant look pulled a reluctant smile from Dan.

  Dan’s initial reluctance to have Hailey and Natasha downstairs was borne out when he caught himself stopping by the back of the store for the fourth time. And it wasn’t just Natasha he watched.

  When Dan had seen Natasha barreling around that corner the other day, he’d struggled to keep his frustration down. He had assumed Hailey was teaching his daughter structure and balance. Instead Natasha was running around the store wearing fairy wings and carrying one of the many so-called magic wands Lydia had given her.

  When Hailey had insisted this was part of her teaching strategy, Dan had had his doubts. But watching them together, his doubts had shifted from worrying about Natasha in the store to worrying about Hailey in the store.

  She was a distraction that he wasn’t sure he could deal with.

  Hailey made Natasha count the bolts again as she dropped them back in the bin, then made her count the bins as they spun the revolving rack around, looking for something else to work with. She spoke softly but Dan didn’t miss an underlying firmness to her tone.

  “So how is the teaching going?” he heard his mother saying.

  Dan glanced back at his mother. She was watching Natasha and Hailey, a bemused expression on her face.

  “I think they’re just about done. It’s lunchtime.”

  His mother gave him a wry look. “I suppose you’re eating upstairs again?”

  “Did you have lunch already?” Dan asked, forestalling the impending questions. His mother loved Hailey and she had made no secret that she saw Hailey as a future daughter.

  His own feelings for Hailey were confused enough and growing more so every day. He didn’t need his mother rooting for his old girlfriend and mixing him up even more.

  “I did,” his mother said, her expression growing pensive as she watched Hailey and Natasha. “She really has a knack for working with Natasha, doesn’t she?” his mother said. “She’s one of those natural teachers. She seems to know exactly what Natasha needs.”

  “And how is Dad feeling today?” he asked, derailing his mother’s train of thought before it could pick up too much steam.

  “He said he wants to come to the store tomorrow for a few hours,” his mother said with a light shrug of her narrow shoulders, thankfully getting the hint.

  “Don’t let him push too hard. I’ve got things under control,” Dan said.

  His mother gave him another quizzical look and unease stirred through him.

  “Do you? Really?” The reflective note in her voice wasn’t lost on him, but he didn’t respond. “You know how glad your father and I are that you and Natasha are home. You really need to be here.”

  Apprehension trickled down his back at the serious note in her voice and the way her eyes held his, as if trying to say more than her words could convey. He recognized the look and the tone. After Austin’s funeral, she would often pull him aside, using the same voice, as she tried to take his emotional temperature.

  “And I’m glad to be home.” Dan flashed her a smile. “I also appreciate Dad letting me buy into the busines
s,” he added, hoping to divert her now as he had tried to divert her then.

  “That had always been the plan,” she said, her voice growing quieter. “Even before you left Hartley Creek.” She folded her arms over her chest. “But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

  “I’m kind of busy right now, Mom.” He pushed away from the railing, trying to get away from the sorrow he saw building in her eyes.

  But she caught his arm and gave it a gentle tug. “Please don’t keep shutting us out.”

  It was the plaintive note in her voice that stopped him from moving away, but he didn’t turn to face her.

  “I want you to know that your father and I love you....” She halted, her voice breaking. “But we sense a darkness in you that we can’t break through. You know that you can tell us anything.”

  Dan shook his head even as her words settled in his soul, striking his guilt with deadly accuracy. “There’s nothing to tell, Mom.” He shot her a tight smile over his shoulder. “The past is over. Done. I’ve moved on.”

  “I know we have,” his mother said, tightening her grip on his arm, “but I’m not so sure you have. I feel as if there are unhealed wounds you carry yet.” She glanced back at Hailey. “And I have a feeling that Hailey is the one who can help you with that. Help you move from that bleak place I know you go to sometimes.”

  Dan followed the direction of his mother’s gaze, the ache in his heart easing a bit as he watched Hailey. As she flicked her hair over her shoulder it seemed to catch the light and beam it onto them like a promise.

  “She’s good for you. She always was,” his mother was saying.

  Dan watched the interplay between Hailey and his daughter, the ache in his heart easing a bit as they laughed together. Then he pulled himself to the present.

  “I’m not sure I’m good for her,” was his cryptic reply.

  A short buzz from the front door signaled the entrance of a customer and, thankfully, brought an end to the conversation.

  “We’ll talk again,” his mother said, then strode to the front, her short bob swinging with every step down the crowded aisle of the store. When she came to the end, she turned and gave him a rueful smile, then disappeared.

  He clenched his fists, fighting down his confusion. Reality was he’d had his chance with Hailey and he’d blown it. He didn’t deserve her in so many ways. Now his focus was Natasha and he had better remind himself of that.

  “Daddy, look. I’m adding,” Natasha called out.

  Dan turned in time to see Natasha come running over, her fairy wings bobbing behind her as she caught his hand. “Come see,” she insisted, dragging him around the divider to where she and Hailey had been working. She pointed to the various piles she had created and the papers beneath each pile. “This says four plus three is seven. And this says three plus three is six. And this says six plus one is seven.” She pointed out a few other problems, the pleased note in her voice lifting his spirits.

  “That’s really good, Natasha. You’re getting so smart.”

  Natasha clasped her hands together, squirming with pleasure at his praise. “Miss Deacon says I’m a really fast learner.”

  “That’s great. You’ll be back to school in no time.”

  Natasha shot him a panicked glance and pulled away from him. “No. I can’t go to school. I have to stay with Miss Deacon.”

  “Someday you’ll be back in school,” he said, unable to keep the gruff tone out of his voice. “Remember, Miss Deacon is only teaching you for a while,” he said, keeping his eyes on his daughter. His mother’s comments, though well-meant, had only served to resurrect his old shame and guilt.

  Natasha looked stricken, then turned to Hailey as if seeking confirmation. “You’re going to teach me all the time, aren’t you?”

  “I’ll teach you as long as you need me,” Hailey said, being far more diplomatic than he’d been. “Now, let’s clean up this stuff and we can go upstairs and I’ll get lunch ready.” She turned to him. “Are you joining us for lunch?” she asked, her smile soft and gentle.

  It hit him like a punch to the stomach.

  “Yeah. But just for a bit,” he said, his voice stern.

  Her puzzled look made him feel like a heel, but he had to stay in control. Keep Hailey at a distance. She’s only around until Natasha goes to school, he reminded himself. Come summer, she’ll be gone and out of your life.

  So why did that idea create this bleak hollow in his stomach?

  “There you go. You got them all right,” Hailey said, going over Natasha’s work.

  Natasha held up the paper. “I know. I’m pretty smart.”

  “And you’re pretty pretty.”

  Dan’s voice behind her raised the small hairs on Hailey’s neck, sent a shiver trickling down her spine.

  And put her heart into overdrive. She pushed the emotions down, reminding herself to stay professional.

  Yet as he came to stand beside Natasha she shot a quick glance his way. Just as he had this morning, he avoided her glance. “Wow, you made a really nice duck,” Dan said to his daughter.

  “And I made a robot.” Natasha pulled up the other connect-the-dots pictures she’d been working on. “That one wasn’t hard because it didn’t have lots of numbers.”

  “What else did you do this morning, besides come into the store?” Dan asked, keeping his attention on Natasha, avoiding Hailey’s gaze as she set the table.

  “Miss Deacon and I did some reading and she said we could do art, but I want to go in the store with her again after lunch.”

  “You two had some time down there already. Miss Deacon should keep you up here for the rest of the day,” was his brusque reply.

  Hailey couldn’t stop her eyes from moving to Dan, but as soon as their gazes connected his shifted away. It was as if he had retreated again. But why?

  Natasha seemed to pick up on the tension thrumming through the atmosphere and was strangely subdued, her eyes flickering from Dan to Hailey.

  To Hailey’s surprise, when they were all served Dan took Natasha’s hand. “I think we should pray,” he said quietly.

  “Just like Hailey does,” Natasha said in an overly bright voice.

  Dan simply nodded. “Yes, just like Hailey does.” He bowed his head and prayed a simple prayer. Before she raised her head, Hailey silently added one of her own.

  Please, Lord, help me to understand what is happening with Dan.

  In spite of her prayer, the unspoken strain between Dan and Hailey continued through lunch. Thankfully, everyone made short work of their meal.

  As soon as Natasha was done, she pushed her plate away. “Did I eat enough?” she asked, glancing from Hailey to Dan as if not sure who she should be asking.

  “Yes, you did.”

  “Of course.”

  Dan and Hailey spoke at once and Hailey felt like smacking herself. Natasha was Dan’s daughter, not hers.

  “Can I go play in my room with my new princesses that I got from my other gramma?” Natasha asked as pushed her chair back against the table. Lydia’s parents had sent a parcel of gifts for Natasha, which Hailey had used to reward the girl for getting her work done this morning.

  This time Hailey said nothing, but neither did Dan.

  Natasha’s confusion showed on her face. “Did I ask something bad?”

  “No, honey. You didn’t,” Dan said finally. “If it’s okay with Miss Deacon, you can go play with your dolls for a while.”

  “Of course you can,” Hailey quickly added. “You worked very hard this morning.”

  Natasha sent them one more puzzled look, then walked down the hallway to her bedroom.

  Dan shot to his feet and grabbed his plate, striding to the kitchen with it as if he could hardly wait to le
ave as well.

  Hailey waited a moment, then realized she couldn’t stand this anymore. Something had changed and she couldn’t identify when or how. She wondered if his seeing her and Natasha in the store this morning had bothered him more than he wanted to admit.

  If that was the case, she needed to talk to him. She wasn’t letting Dan change her mind about her teaching methods.

  She followed him to the kitchen where he was scraping the remainders of his lunch off his plate into the sink.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  Hailey bit her lip at his abrupt response. “You don’t sound like everything is okay. I understood you were okay with Natasha coming down to the store.”

  “I don’t have a huge problem with it. She seems to enjoy working downstairs.” Dan rinsed his plate with quick movements, then dropped it and the utensils into the dishwasher.

  Hailey’s confusion grew. “But you looked angry this morning, when I was finished with Natasha. And just now you said you don’t want her downstairs.”

  “Well, it’s just, she needs routine.” He washed his hands, then reluctantly turned back to her.

  “We talked about this,” she said, thoroughly puzzled now. “I feel like we’re going in circles. I need to be clear on this. Is it okay if I bring Natasha down to the store or not?”

  “My mother isn’t comfortable with the idea,” was his strange reply.

  Hailey’s puzzlement shifted to frustration. “That’s odd. While I was working with Natasha your mom specifically spoke with me, telling me how happy she was that I was working with Natasha. She said nothing about having a problem with me being down in the store.”

  Dan looked away and didn’t say anything.

  “What’s going on, Dan? This morning everything seemed fine and now it’s like we’re back to you not trusting me and my methods.”

  Dan blew out a sigh and shook his head. “I trust you.”

  “So what’s the problem then?”