Suki's Heart

by Indiana Wake

  “Then, you’ll probably want to leave me here and get yourself safely away if that’s what you think.”

  “I’m only trying to have a little fun, Miss Shepherd,” he said, the smile fading just a little. “And I really would like to dance with you if you’ll stand up with me.”

  “Well, that sure is kind.” Suki did have manners, all things considered, and she reckoned now was the time to deploy them. “But, I’m not a real good dancer, Mr. Reynolds. I don’t usually dance.”

  “Not even here? In the town barn with people dancing all around you?”

  “As I said, I’m not very good.” Suki knew she would be a better dancer if she just took the opportunity to practice now and again, but she couldn’t really see the point.

  Dancing led to awkwardness as far as she could see and it was something best avoided, for herself at any rate.

  “Well, I guess I’d better just let you be, ma’am.” He rose reluctantly to his feet. “But I’m only giving up for the night. I reckon I’ll keep my eyes open for any sign of you in the future.” He set his broad-brimmed hat on his head before lifting it a little in her honor. “You take good care of yourself, Suki Shepherd.” He grinned broadly before turning to leave her.

  “You too, Mr. Reynolds,” she replied by instinct.

  Chapter Three

  “I saw you trying to make yourself known to Suki Shepherd at the dance on Saturday, Sonny,” Brad Lowry said with a chuckle.

  “I guess that lady ain’t too fond of newcomers.” Sonny laughed too; he wasn’t too proud to laugh at himself.

  “She’s none too fond of anybody, I reckon,” Brad went on as the two of them rode side-by-side out on the plains.

  They had been searching for a small herd of cattle all morning, said to be no more than ten or twelve head, to no avail. That was no concern to Sonny. He considered himself a natural tracker, able to pick up signs even with so little to go on. Even with Brad chattering away, it was no consequence. Sonny was still able to give an eye to the task at hand.

  “Well, I guess that makes me feel a little less foolish, not being the only one and all.”

  “If it’s any consolation, I asked her to dance once,” Brad admitted, and the two men laughed.

  “You got a big fat no too, did you?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Brad turned his horse. “What do you reckon? Head east?” He was a great rancher but a little lacking out on the range.

  “I think a little further west, Brad. Look over there.” Sonny turned his horse, pulling it up to a halt as he pointed. “Those hoofprints look fresh. The toes are pointing out, I reckon they’ll be behind that rocky outcrop in the distance.”

  “Lead the way.” Brad was not too proud to admit his shortcomings, either. “I can see why my daddy was keen to take you on. Only a month and I reckon you’re becoming his most reliable herder.”

  “I sure do hope so,” Sonny said and meant it.

  He had been lucky to find work on his first attempt. There was plenty to be had in Oregon, certainly, but mostly for cowboys and ranchers with some experience, not men whose only work had been down in the mines.

  Sonny Reynolds had spent more time down in the darkness of the mines than herding cattle, that was for sure, but he had a way with horses and had learned as much as he could about cattle before leaving California. Felton Lowry, Brad’s father and the owner of one of the largest ranches in the area, had seen something in him on the day Sonny showed up looking for work. He’d been smart, of course, approaching his prospective employer’s horses with an easy manner and winning the creatures over in no time.

  Of course, Sonny had also suggested that he’d worked with cattle extensively before, something he wasn’t entirely proud of. But without the white lie, he was certain that he wouldn’t have been given a chance at all and would have made leaving California in the first place completely pointless.

  In some ways, however, it had worked in his favor. Sonny had been doubly determined to prove himself and went the extra mile every time he went out to work the cattle, even when he didn’t have the boss’ son for company. And Brad was right, he was quickly becoming Felton Lowry’s most reliable cowboy.

  The men moseyed their horses over to the outcrop of rock that Sonny had pointed out. As far as he could fathom, animals weren’t so very different from humans. No one would take kindly to being charged up on while minding your own business, and cattle weren’t any different as far as Sonny was concerned. It’d do no good to charge up around the rock and send them into a panic, scattering in every direction from there to yonder. That’d just make for a long day trying to regroup panicking cattle – and cattle weren’t a completely agreeable sort in the best of times, let alone when they were running helter-skelter.

  When they finally reached their destination to find the whole twelve head contentedly munching on the soft spring grass, Sonny gave a silent prayer of thanks; he needed as many good reports as he could get, and he was sure that Brad would let his father know just how skillful Sonny had been on this outing. Though unwilling to leave their spring feeding spot, the cattle eventually complied to being persuaded to move along.

  “You did it again, Sonny,” Brad said an hour or so later when they had successfully driven the herd in closer to the ranch.

  Sonny guided the cattle through the nearest gate into a field, tossing out a bit of feed to keep them content enough as he slowly closed the gate.

  “You sure do have a way with them.” Brad laughed. “They didn’t panic at all when the gate shut down.”

  “It’s all about making them feel safe, I reckon.”

  “Well – time for a break, I think.” Brad was already reaching into his saddlebag for the immense packet of food he seemed to carry around with him all the time.

  Sonny’s own provisions, while not nearly as varied, were certainly something to look forward to. He had taken up lodging at Mrs. Marley’s boardinghouse and the good woman packed him up a decent bite of food. Today was no different, with plenty of freshly baked bread, a decent chunk of homemade cheese, and some tomatoes and apples. Washed down with water from his canteen, it would certainly keep him full until he returned to the boardinghouse for his late meal.

  “Anywhere?” Sonny asked, glancing about them. They eventually settled on a spot that was off the beaten trail.

  “One grassy mound is much the same as any other.” Brad laughed as the two of them made themselves comfortable on the grass and began to eat.

  They ate in silence for a time. Sonny stared out over the endless sea of prairie grass. The soft grass stretched out into the distance for mile upon mile until it met either a hill or the distinct line of the bright blue sky.

  How different this life was from everything he’d ever known.

  As he chewed the tasty bread, Sonny wondered if men who had been raised to such a life ever truly appreciated it. Perhaps, had he been fortunate enough to be raised in a farming and ranching community, he might not have appreciated it, either.

  Sonny had been raised with a certain knowledge that much of his life would be spent in darkness. He would rise in the dark, spend the daylight hours underground, and return home in the darkness once again. It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to work; after seven years in the mines, he knew well what people meant by the term backbreaking.

  Sonny had made a good account of himself, even though he’d hated every minute of it. He was known back in California for his hard work and dedication, and he’d never gone without a position for a single day.

  His father, on the other hand, had been a very different story altogether. The determination which had seen him walk more than two-thousand miles from the East to the West had very quickly worn off. While he’d secured work in the mines with ease, Sonny’s father had soon proven he was a man of little focus. He spent more time trying to hide from his gambling debts than he did digging for minerals, that was for sure.

  He was a hard man with a hot temper, and Sonny had always vowed to be no
thing like him.

  “Do you still have folks down in California?” Brad asked suddenly, making Sonny wonder for a moment if his new friend could read minds.

  “My father,” he admitted, hoping he wouldn’t have to elaborate. “And maybe my mama too, somewhere.”

  “She wandered off?” Brad asked.

  “I guess you could say that.” Sonny chuckled. “Yeah, she wandered off. With a travelling salesman when I was barely old enough to set her face right in my memory.”

  “I guess I didn’t mean to pry,” Brad said and appeared a little regretful of his questioning.

  “Not at all. I reckon it makes good sense to know who you’ve got working for you.” Sonny smiled, keen to put Brad at his ease. “I come from mining stock to be honest,” he said, knowing he ought to be careful not to talk himself out of a good job.

  “Did you ever work the mines yourself?”

  “Yeah,” Sonny admitted with caution. “A good few years, but it wasn’t for me. I was better with horses and livestock. The only problem was getting regular work down there and so I moved away.”

  “The mine’s loss is our gain.” Brad said and smiled. “I don’t see you as a miner, somehow. I reckon we all have something we’re good at and it isn’t always what’s in front of us. Trouble is, most folks just stick at it, never thinking they might find something they’re better suited to. Good for you for breaking out of it.”

  “Thanks,” Sonny said, relieved that his revelation had done nothing destructive to his prospects.

  “What about your father? Did he mind much?”

  “Oh, he sure did.” Sonny laughed mirthlessly. “But he is the kind of man who minds just about everything.”

  “You don’t get along?”

  “Not since I got big enough to defend myself, no.” Sonny really didn’t want to go any further.

  He’d certainly suffered at his father’s hands his whole life, even before his mother ran off. He’d always wondered why it was she didn’t take him with her when she ran. She knew what her husband was; she would surely have had some inkling of what her son’s life would be without her.

  In so many ways, it had tainted Sonny’s view of the world. It certainly made it hard for him to trust women and, as much as he liked them, he’d never in all his twenty-three years stayed around long enough for marriage to be a foregone conclusion. It was love them and leave them, as far as Sonny was concerned.

  His thoughts went to the serious-faced beauty that was Miss Suki Shepherd. Now, there was a tough nut to crack and make no mistake of it. As far as Sonny could see, there would be no opportunity to love her, never mind leave her. He chuckled sub-consciously.

  “What’s up?” Brad said through a mouthful of bread.

  “I was just thinking that my way with cattle doesn’t seem to extend to women these days.”

  “Well, there are some great differences, my friend.” Brad was so amused he almost choked on his bread.

  “And some great differences from woman to woman too, I reckon.”

  “Suki Shepherd?” Brad laughed all the harder. “She’s gotten to you, hasn’t she?”

  “Not in the way you might think,” Sonny said with a smile. “But I suppose I find her a little bit of a mystery. What’s her story?”

  Sonny realized then that he really did want to find out more about the young woman who had so successfully rebuffed him. It’s not like such a thing happened often.

  “She’s a bright woman, that’s the truth. A little quiet I guess, and I don’t reckon she’s had much experience with men. Of course, if she would speak to one now and again, that might change.”

  “Strict parents?” Sonny asked, certain that there must be some explanation for her reticence.

  And he knew only too well how pervasive the influence of family could be, even when you knew that influence was the wrong one.

  “Quite the opposite,” Brad said and shrugged as if the whole thing was a mystery to him, too. “John and Josie Shepherd are good people. John came over the trail when Suki was just a babe-in-arms. It’s a sad tale, actually, for he lost his first wife out there.”

  “Suki’s mama?” Sonny said and was surprised by the pang he felt for his own departed mother, despite the fact that she had chosen to leave.

  “Yes, although she really knew nothing about it being just a baby and all.”

  “So, her father married again.”

  “Yes, he had his work cut out for him with setting up a farm, by all accounts, and ended up marrying the girl who took care of Suki day-to-day. Although, they get along nicely, every bit the happy couple all these years later. They had a son too, Jed, but he’s still a kid. A late arrival for them, I guess.”

  “And how does Suki get on with her new mother?”

  “They are truly like mother and daughter, nothing to tell them apart from the real thing. The whole family is a good one and Suki adores that little brother of hers.”

  “Him being so young, I guess that’s why she knows so much about farming.”

  “Yes, her daddy was always keen to show her the workings and she knows her business, by all accounts. But that’s not so unusual for these parts.”

  “No wonder she looked so annoyed with me when I made a joke about her plowing.” Sonny winced and Brad bellowed with laughter.

  “She takes her place in this world seriously and that’s a fact. You’ve sure got some work to do to get back into her good books.”

  “Who says I want to get back into her good books?” Sonny said with good-humored defensiveness.

  “Nothing much; just your face and your questions.”

  “Very funny.” Sonny laughed; he didn’t mind at all.

  He’d found a friend in Brad Lowry and that would do very nicely for now.

  Chapter Four

  “I think we should have sown these potatoes a little earlier, Mama,” Suki said as she crouched on her haunches to lay the seed potatoes on top of the first layer of compost. “The early spring was milder than I’d thought it would be.”

  “Well, we’re sowing them now, Suki. No use worrying over what might have been.”

  “I guess not.”

  “Is something troubling you, sweetheart?” Josie Shepherd leaned on her hoe and peered down at her daughter.

  “No, Mama. Why?”

  “You just seem a little quiet is all.”

  “I’m always a little quiet, Mama. I’m a quiet person.” Suki smiled up at her mother.

  “All right, quieter than usual,” her mother persisted.

  “I’m quiet because I’m quiet.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m quieter than normal because I realize that I’m quiet and it’s been bothering me, I guess,” Suki said and continued to place the seed potatoes into the dirt one by one.

  “Has something happened?”

  “No, nothing in particular.”

  “Nothing in particular usually means something.” Josie Shepherd tucked a strand of fading chestnut hair behind her ear. “Come on, you know you can tell me anything.”

  “There’s nothing really to tell, Mama. I guess I have just felt a little low since the barn dance on Saturday.”

  “What happened? Surely, you haven’t fallen out with Honey Goodman?”

  “Goodness, can you ever imagine me falling out with Honey?”

  “No, not really. You two have been inseparable since you were this high.” Her mother held out her palm to just shy of waist-height. “But something is troubling you.”

  “I guess… I wish I was more like Honey at times, if I’m honest. She finds it so easy to talk to people and she doesn’t seem to worry about whether or not she’ll get along with them.”

  “You always were the more cautious of the two of you, it’s true. But that’s no bad thing, Suki. In fact, I think it’s a good thing and it means I can sleep at night not worrying about you making a mistake.”

  “Getting involved with the wrong sort of man, that type of
mistake?” Suki guessed with a chuckle. “I think it would be something of a miracle if I got involved with any man, right or wrong.”

  “Now, why on earth would you say something like that?”

  “Because I frighten everybody away.”

  “You most certainly do not, you’re a beautiful young woman with skills and talents and cleverness. Any man in Oregon would be proud to have you as a wife, believe me.”

  “If any of them got as far as asking.”

  “Did you meet somebody on Saturday at the barn dance?” Josie Shepherd was gentle, but shrewd.

  “I guess so.” Suki shrugged. “Only briefly.”

  “Well, who was he?”

  “His name is Sonny Reynolds and he’s new in town.”

  “Well, where is he from? What does he do?”

  “He’s a cowboy and he’s come up from California very recently.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know, maybe work?” Suki guessed.

  “You didn’t ask?”

  “I did, but I guess I didn’t ask enough questions.”

  “Why not?”

  “I didn’t want to show too much interest, I suppose. I don’t know why, Mama, I just panic when it comes to men. I don’t know any one of them well enough to know if they are good or bad and I guess I don’t trust my judgement.”

  “Maybe you should get to know one or two and practice, my love.” Her mother laughed but Suki didn’t mind a bit; she knew she was not mocking her; she would never do that.

  “You sound just like Honey,” Suki said. “She’s always trying to get me to be a little friendlier.”

  “Well, maybe you could be a little more approachable from time to time, but there’s nothing wrong with being yourself. You and Honey are just very different people, maybe that’s why you get along so well. Honey is a wonderful girl, but you are more wonderful to me.”

  “That’s strange advice, Mama. Be myself and be more approachable? The two things don’t really go together, do they?”