Gravity (Free Falling)

by St. Pierre, Raven

  When AJ came into the room he startled me from my thoughts. “It’s good to see you smiling again,” he said as he shut the door and came toward me. He took the necklace from my hand and reached around my neck to fasten it, his warm hands grazing my neck as he lifted my hair, sending a chill through my entire body. I looked up at him allowing my eyes to follow him as he walked over to the dresser to remove his shirt and watch just like the night before. I was beginning to get used to being here with him. If it hadn’t been for his generosity, I don’t know where I would’ve gone. In my hour of need he’d swooped in on his white horse and rescued me……just like Prince Charming would have done.

  The next morning, I was awakened by the sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand. I was surprised to see that my father had sent me a text message. Partially because I didn’t even know he knew how to send a text message, but mostly because I wasn’t expecting to hear from him – especially not this soon. I held the phone in my hands, and after a few deep breaths I opened the message.

  “We need to talk, baby girl. Call me or come by when you get the message.”

  I’d fully expected to go the rest of the year without speaking a word to my father, so naturally I wasn’t sure how to react. I leaned back and rested my back on the headboard as I let different scenarios run through my head as to how this could play out. I wasn’t sure if he was feeling apologetic or if he wanted to finish yelling at me. It was hard to tell all that from a text message. I nearly chewed my lip off as I thought. AJ shifted a little in his sleep yanking me from my thoughts. Part of me wanted to wake him to tell him about this new development. He was the best sounding board I had, but he was too peaceful to even think about disturbing him. But as he often did, he sensed that I was troubled.

  “Everything ok?” He asked without even having to turn over and see that something was on my mind.

  “My dad messaged me and he wants to talk. What should I do?” I asked half panicked.

  “Well, call him back and see what he has to say. It can’t hurt to hear him out.” He paused for a few seconds. “You need me to step out for a while?”

  I considered his offer for a second. There wasn’t anything to hide from him, but I didn’t want him to overhear anything that daddy might yell out at me in anger. So, to protect his feelings I replied, “Maybe just for a little while.” He climbed out of bed and dressed quickly. “But don’t go too far.”

  He smiled. “I won’t. I’ll be right downstairs if you need me.”

  If I was going to do this I’d have to dial quickly before I lost my nerve, so as soon as the door shut behind AJ I made the call. My heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute. “Samantha?” He answered.

  I could hardly even speak. “It’s me. I just got your message.”

  He sighed. “I wasn’t sure if you’d call back, but I’m glad you did. I want to apologize for putting my hands on you the other night. No man should ever do that. But I want you to understand that I was upset because I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt.” He took another breath before he continued. “You’re young and inexperienced when it comes to love, Samantha. You think that just because some boy says that he loves you that you all are going to spend the rest of your lives together, and that’s not realistic. I meant what I said about that guy stringing you along. I’m not going to take that back, but maybe I didn’t say it right, and it wasn’t the best time. For that I’m also sorry. I never meant to ruin your birthday.”

  It took quite a bit of effort to steady my breathing. “Daddy, I’ve done a lot of thinking these past two days too, and I think I understand how you feel. But you don’t know AJ like I do. He wouldn’t do something like that. He really does love me daddy. I don’t expect for you to understand that, but I’d like to think that you can respect my decision to be with him.”

  There was a long moment of silence. He sighed and then responded. “I can’t make you any promises, but I’ll try if you’ll just come back home.”

  Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that he missed me enough to lay down his prejudices and have me back home. It’d been a long time since I felt like my father loved me the way he had when I was still his little princess. “I’ll be home in a little while daddy. I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby.”

  I hung up the phone and ran to the door to call for AJ and then climbed back in the bed. When he came into the room and sat beside me, I smiled at him and a few more tears rolled down my cheek. His expression was curious, not knowing how to respond to my confusing emotional state. “How did it go?” He asked.

  “Better than I expected. He actually wants me to come home. He apologized and agreed to try to accept our relationship.” AJ didn’t seem convinced, so I continued to explain the conversation. “He admitted that he was still a little skeptical about us, but he’s going to keep his opinion to himself and try to let me grow up a little.”

  He softened a bit as he responded. “Well, I’m glad that you two are gonna try and work through it.” He lowered his head and smiled weakly. “But it was nice having you here though.”

  I pulled him to me and hugged him around his neck. Had I been here with him under any other circumstances I would be able to say with confidence that these were the best two days of my life. There was no other place in the world that I’d rather be than with him. I held on to AJ a few seconds longer before finally releasing him from my embrace. As he backed up his eyes drifted down to my necklace. He picked it up off my chest and fiddled with it. “I can’t wait for the day when you don’t have to leave me anymore.” He spoke with that familiar air of assurance that made me believe every word. It was strange to hear him speak aloud the thought that had drifted through my mind a hundred times. I was comforted to know that he wanted to be with me just as badly as I wanted to be with him.

  I had mixed emotions as Angel and I turned into the driveway. Part of me was glad to finally have things patched up between my father and me, but the other part of me missed AJ so much that I was beginning to feel physically sick. I’d made the mistake of letting myself get accustomed to being with him all day, which meant that I’d have to readjust to being without him. Days ago it seemed like it would be nearly impossible to get through to my father, now today he’d actually made the first move and apologized to me. There was the faintest glimmer of hope that one day daddy would learn to even like AJ Maybe.

  I turned off the car and Angel and I stepped out. Before I could get my key in the door, my father flung it open and greeted me with a smile. He nearly lifted me off the ground when he hugged me. He studied my face as he became aware of my bruise. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he felt guilty. With the back of the same hand he’d stricken me with, he lightly brushed my cheek and then pulled me to him again. We stood there on the porch that way for a long time. His chest was heaving as he clutched my head. It was nice to again feel that he was capable of being the hero I’d looked up to.

  He kissed the top of my head and then led me inside to the living room. Next to the couch was a pile of presents and birthday cards I’d missed out on a couple of nights ago. I skimmed through the cards and opened all of the gifts unenthusiastically. Nothing could get my mind off missing AJ Angel helped me carry everything up to my room before she got into the shower. I took advantage of the moment I had alone and visited my sanctuary – the studio. The familiar smell of the attic was welcoming. I flicked the switch and watched the bulbs come to life. Without hesitation I gathered my supplies and set up. As the brush swirled along the canvas I thought of AJ My entire body began to ache as I thought of being away from him. I probably loved him more than I should – more than I even loved myself. I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that it was unhealthy, but when it came to him I had absolutely no control over my feelings. This rush of emotion flowed through me and onto the canvas.

  I stood back and quickly realized that this piece was perhaps my best work yet. That wasn’t difficult to understand considering m
y inspiration. After cleaning up, I went back down to my room and lay across my bed next to Angel who’d found an old magazine on my desk that sparked her interest. My loud sigh disrupted her. “What’s wrong, Sammy?” She asked without taking her eyes off the page.

  “I miss him.” I sighed again. “There’s never been anything or anyone that I’ve wanted so badly. It’s hard to even think straight sometimes because I can’t get him out of my head.”

  “Dang. He must’ve put it on you!” She joked.

  I let out a laugh. “It’s not even that. It’s everything about him. It’s his confidence, how kindhearted he is, how he loves me, his looks, even the way he smells, Angel!”

  She laughed to herself. “This guy really has your nose open. But the cool thing is, he loves you just as much as you love him. Anybody can see that.” She smiled to herself. “He’s good people. I like him for you.”

  Angel seemed to understand my feelings. She could’ve easily passed my love for AJ off as some silly crush, but I believed that she knew it was more than that. “I almost forgot to tell you, my mom said that we’re leaving in the morning. My dad has some big thing at work that came up and now we have to get back a little early.”

  “Awwww………I’m not ready for you to leave me yet. That sucks!”

  “I know you’re gonna miss me. If I were you I’d miss me too. But I’ll see you in the summer.”

  Shock crossed my face. “You’re not coming to my graduation?” I asked.

  “No, I won’t be able to make it cause my classes don’t end until July. But August is gonna be here before you know it.” Seeing her again gave me another reason to look forward to our trip to New York, but truthfully, spending time with AJ was reason enough.

  By 8:00 the next morning Angel, Aunt Lisa and Uncle Todd were loading up their car for the journey back home. Angel tried to be tough, but I know I saw a tear stream down her cheek when she came to hug me. “Take care of yourself, Sammy. Call me if you need ANYTHING. I don’t care if I am in a whole other state. Pick up the phone and call, k? Love you.” She sniffed one time confirming my suspicion.; she was crying. That made it harder for me to hold it together. It had never been this hard to let her go before, but then again this wasn’t your average family visit either. She had my back through all the craziness and I couldn’t have asked for a better cousin or friend than her. “Love you to Angel. See you in August,” I whispered.

  Part II

  Chapter Fourteen

  My hands were almost shaking too hard to put on my mascara. Mom sat on the edge of the bed watching me. My hand slipped and the brush made a thin black trail down my cheek. When she saw the frustration in my face, she came to my rescue. “Sweetie, I know you’re nervous about meeting AJ’s parents, but you’re going to have to hold it together.” She was laughing as she touched up the smudge under my eye. “Everything’s going to be just fine. They’re going to absolutely adore you.”

  “But what if they don’t?” I asked flatly

  She paused for a moment. “Well, then they’re crazy.” She laughed again, but I didn’t find anything funny. There was a very real possibility that they would hate me and tell me to leave their home. Noticing my anxiety starting to build even more, she spoke up. “I know that the birthday incident left you a little gun shy, but you can’t assume that tonight is going to be a repeat.”

  I could’ve lived without a fresh reminder of that night. Even though it was a month ago, the memory was still fresh in my brain. Since then, daddy had really tried to make a conscious effort to give me breathing room. We even discussed having AJ over again sometime in the not so distant future.

  “I’m not trying to be negative, I’m just trying to be realistic. That way if things don’t go well, I won’t be as disappointed.

  “Just try to have a good time and put the past behind you where it belongs.” She kissed me on my cheek and grabbed the turquoise cardigan she picked up for me to accompany the dress Angel and Aunt Lisa bought me for my birthday. I slid on my strappy gold heels and prayed that I wouldn’t slip on the ice. She stood next to me in the mirror and smiled as she smoothed the sweater.

  The next second the doorbell rang and mom and I rushed down the stairs. Daddy was sitting in his chair as still as a statue. Although he was willing to let me see AJ, we had an agreement that included him not answering the door when he came over to pick me up. I fiddled with my curls as mom opened the door.

  My eyes met AJ’s and we both smiled – seeing him never failed to give me a rush. Mom slid my coat over my shoulders and kissed me goodbye. “Have a good time you two. And AJ, tell you parents I said Merry Christmas,” she said, ushering us out the door. From his seat, daddy waved at me without lifting his eyes from the newspaper.

  AJ held me around my waist as he escorted me to the car. “You were pretty brave to wear those shoes in weather like this.”

  I smiled at him. “No, not brave, but I know that you won’t let anything happen to me.” He laughed quietly as he opened my door and helped me into the car. He climbed in and I noticed for the first time what he was wearing. Underneath his leather jacket I could see that he had on a white t-shirt, jeans and like-new white gym shoes. “Am I overdressed?” I asked.

  “No, you look beautiful as always,” he replied reassuringly.

  I continued to look over his outfit that was casual, and drastically stood out from my dressy attire. “But you have on jeans,” I shrieked. The anxious feelings returned again.

  “Relax. I just didn’t feel the need to dress up. I’ve already met my parents, so I’m not really concerned with impressing them.” He laughed to himself. I glared at him and sighed which caused him to amend his statement. “Stop worrying. You look great. You would’ve outshined me no matter what I put on.” I looked over at him and tried to maintain my cold stare, but his kind words melted it away quickly.

  It couldn’t have been more than forty degrees outside, but my nerves had me feeling like I was in an oven as soon as we turned onto his street. I fanned myself with my hands which prompted AJ to roll down my window. “You alright?” He asked.

  “I’m fine. Just a little nervous that’s all.”

  AJ turned to look at me. “Sam, no matter how this goes, it’s not going to change how I feel about you. No one can change that. Ever. So, there isn’t anything for you to worry about.”

  I finally turned to face him and found comfort in his words. “You’re right.”

  He pulled the car in front of the house and cut off the engine. “Ready?” He asked.

  “As much as I’ll ever be,” I replied just before he stepped out of the car and came around to let me out. My hand shook slightly in his as we walked toward the door, but my heart beat so wildly that it felt like there was a marching band in my chest. AJ turned the knob and I felt like I was going to throw up.

  He led me inside and closed the heavy wooden door behind him. The foyer alone was nearly the size of half of the first floor of my house. My heels clicked on the marble tile causing an echo that ricocheted off the high ceilings. In front of me was a winding staircase leading to the second floor. The walls were covered in the same cream and gold wallpaper that was in the guesthouse. I jumped when AJ began sliding my jacket off my shoulders. He hung it in the coat closet and returned to my side. He reached for my hand and led me toward the archway off to the left. I could hear his parents talking in a nearby room and couldn’t move another step. “I need to ask you something before we go in there.”

  He looked at me curiously. “What’s wrong?”

  “Do they know?” I paused.

  He was puzzled. “Know what?”

  I rolled my eyes feeling that it should’ve been obvious what I meant. “That I’m black. Maybe you should go in there first and just let them know so they can get the shock out of their systems before they meet me.”

  He was nearly hysterical with laughter. “You seriously want me to go in there and make an announcement that you’re black? Yeah, that would be
better,” he said sarcastically. His parents must’ve heard his outburst because I could now hear their footsteps echoing down the hallway.

  When they finally came into view, I felt woozy. They approached us with blank expressions that I couldn’t even begin to read. His mother was a small woman, but that didn’t make her any less frightening. She may have come up to my shoulder with my heels on. Her face was virtually perfect to the point where she could have passed for a porcelain doll. Her jet black hair was pulled up into a neat bun that highlighted her chiseled jaw line that reminded me of AJ’s. Mr. Hahn was about the same height as AJ His eyes were kind and gentle, but they somehow came across as unwelcoming to me. I wouldn’t have guessed that either of them was old enough to have a son AJ’s age.

  They moved toward us gracefully and I tightened my grip on AJ’s arm. I jumped a little when his mother reached for my hand. She clasped it in both of hers and her expression softened slightly. His father smiled weakly, but didn’t say a word. “Mom, Dad, I’d like you to meet Samantha.”

  “It’s nice to finally meet you Mr. and Mrs. Hahn. Your home is beautiful.”

  “We’re glad to have you here with us. We’ve heard some very nice things about you. Anthony tells us that you’re an artist.” Her soft voice was far more comforting than her intimidating appearance. I hadn’t expected for her accent to be so heavy.

  “I paint, but it’s really just a hobby,” I replied as she motioned me over to the couch. She sat across from me in an arm chair. AJ and his father lingered behind us and out of the corner of my eye I could see them talking quietly. I was desperate to know what they were saying.