Gravity (Free Falling)

by St. Pierre, Raven

  The entire day passed me by without me leaving the bed. Mom came in a couple of times to check on me, but I didn’t say one word to her even as she questioned me. I couldn’t have spoken one word even if I wanted to. My stomach was in knots and I had a tight feeling in my throat.

  By nightfall, my parents had given up on pulling me out of my slump. There was nothing anyone could do……except for AJ Midnight came and sleep overtook me. It was only pure exhaustion, not peace that brought it on. The next day was a repeat of the first until my phone rang at around 3:00 in the afternoon. I didn’t even bother looking at the caller ID as I answered it halfway through the first ring. “AJ?” My tone was desperate.

  There was silence on the other end for a moment. “No, it’s me.” Antonio’s voice on the other end startled me.

  “Oh, sorry. I just thought…you…were A.J,” I replied quietly.

  “It’s cool.” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking you might wanna hang out today. We can go out to eat first and then do whatever.”

  I wasn’t in the mood to even leave my bed, let alone my house. “I don’t think so, Antonio. I’m not really feeling well right now,” I replied.

  He was disappointed and his voice reflected that. “Alright then. I’ll just call you some other time.”

  I don’t know what moved me, but I called out to him before he could hang up. “Wait. What time do you want to go?” I asked. Staring at the walls of my room was starting to make me crazy anyway. I didn’t feel like seeing anyone, but Antonio was a means to an end. He was my only way to escape. So, we agreed that he’d come pick me up at seven.

  I was so unenthusiastic about leaving that I didn’t even start getting ready until a half hour before he was due to arrive. He rang the doorbell at exactly 7:00. I tried to pretend that I was eager so that I wouldn’t hurt his feelings, but I don’t know if he bought it. I’m not sure I really cared. He walked me to his truck and opened the door as he always had and I watched him walk around to the other side and climbed in next to me. It was strange sitting beside him like this because I hadn’t been in his car since we’d broken up.

  He was obviously excited to be with me and I felt a little guilty for using him this way. I worked to improve my attitude as we drove so that I’d be in better spirits by the time we reached the restaurant. We pulled into the parking lot of the place he’d taken me the day we first spoke of our love for one another. I wasn’t entirely sure that this wasn’t the reason he chose this particular restaurant tonight. The waitress seated us in a secluded booth away from most of the other patrons. I sat down and tried to clear my head so that I could focus at least a small portion of my attention on him.

  “What’s the matter? Something’s on your mind.” He was genuinely concerned about me.

  “It’s nothing you’d want to hear about. I’ll be fine.” I couldn’t even make eye contact with him.

  “It’s about AJ?” He asked. This was possibly the first time since AJ and I got together that Antonio had used his name. This caught my attention.

  “Yeah.”

  He reached across the table and touched my hand. “We can talk about it. It’s cool. I’m just here to listen.” I wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not.

  “It’s just that we keep running into brick walls. My father hates him. His father hates me. No one seems to understand.” I looked at Antonio cautiously awaiting his response.

  His expression was soft, so there didn’t seem to be anything to worry about. “Hmmm…..that would be hard to handle. I know you care a lot about what your father thinks of you.” Antonio’s gaze drifted to something over by the door. I turned to look, but didn’t see anything that caught my attention. I turned back to look at him. “It wasn’t anything. I thought I recognized someone. But finish. I’m listening,” he stated.

  I went on. “It’s just been really hard, but neither of us wants to give up. It just seems like everyone else is hoping that we do.”

  He thought for a moment. “Well, I’m definitely not this guy’s biggest fan, but I know that when you want something you go after it and you don’t stop until you get it. So, as long as you two are determined to make it work. Then it’ll work.” I appreciated his kind words. He put his own feelings aside to help me through this tough time in my life, just like a true friend would do. I smiled at him and decided to drop the subject, fearing that if I went on I’d push him too far. “So, what’s new with you?” I asked

  Antonio dropped his gaze to the table as he spoke. “Nothing much.” I knew that he was hiding something from me.

  “I know better than that. What is it?” I asked.

  He looked nervous as he spoke. “I’ve kinda started……seeing someone.”

  My heart skipped a beat, but I composed myself. “Good for you. Is it anyone I know?” I asked hoping that his answer would be no.

  “Yeah……Megan,” he replied.

  I tried not to show the shock I felt, but that was next to impossible. “Oh, well……that’s nice.”

  He laughed at my act. “You don’t have to pretend around me. I know it makes you uncomfortable, but it’s new and I don’t even know where it’s going.”

  “No, I’m glad that you found someone…..even if it is someone that I considered to be a close friend once upon a time,” I said sarcastically. He laughed again and I couldn’t contain my own laughter.

  “I knew it,” he continued to smile at me. “Like I said it’s still really new, so it may not even turn into anything.” His smile faded a little. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that again yet.” Although I’d never bring it up, I understood that he was referring to our failed relationship and the long term effects it’d had on his heart. After that, he seemed to lose the urge to finish our conversation.

  We ate and when he invited me to the movies I asked him just to take me home. The little bit of positive energy that I’d mustered up for his sake was beginning to fade. He pulled up in my driveway and walked me to the door. We stood on the porch and he stared at me for a few seconds. He didn’t say a word as he leaned in and kissed my cheek before turning to get back into his truck and driving off.

  Once in my room I pulled off my clothes and climbed into bed. I held my phone to my chest and waited for AJ’s call until I finally fell asleep. The next day I awoke around eleven and found that my hands were still clutched around it. I sighed and rested my head back on the pillow. Much to my surprise, it began to vibrate in my hands. The number that came up wasn’t one that I recognized so I started to ignore it completely, but something told me to answer.

  “Hello?”

  “Good morning, beautiful,” AJ replied.

  My body went numb. “AJ? Where are you?” I asked as I felt my hands begin to shake.

  “Karl stopped by this morning to hang out. When I told him everything that happened he left me his phone. He’s gonna let me keep it a while and just use his house phone.”

  I was ecstatic. “I didn’t think I was gonna hear from you until we got back to school and then I didn’t even know what would happen from there. What did your dad do when you got home?” I asked.

  He sighed to fight back his anger. “He took my cell phone, and disconnected the house phone. Took my car keys and changed the security code on the gate so I couldn’t get out at all. He’s pissed.“ AJ laughed to himself. “I was just glad that he didn’t decide to frisk Karl when he came in to see if he had a phone on him.”

  Hearing his voice was like having a cool drink of water after being in the desert for a week. Words couldn’t even begin to describe how relieved I was. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that he was there with me while we talked on the phone for nearly an hour. Our conversation was cut short when he had to hang up abruptly. I figured that his father was nearby and he had to hide the phone. But I could handle it as long as I knew that I’d hear back from him soon. My heart and my mind were finally at peace.

  Chapter Fifteen

  A week had passed since I’d seen AJ. I
was trying to let our brief phone calls a few times a day be enough, but it was hard not seeing him. We’d be back at school in a few short days, but each day felt like an entire month, so there wasn’t much comfort in that. The New Year came in and I had yet to see his face. I settled in on the couch and rested my head on one of the throw pillows. The smell of mom’s pot roast floated in from the kitchen. My appetite was still scarce, but I started forcing myself to eat after she became worried that I was starting to lose weight.

  “Dinner’s ready,” Mom called out. I rolled my eyes and lifted myself from the couch, shuffling to my seat at the dining room table. Both of my parents stared at me as I moved my food around on my plate.

  “Honey, you should really try to eat something. Pot roast is your favorite,” my mother pleaded. I looked up at her face and saw the concern in her eyes. After taking a deep breath, I shoved a forkful of food into my mouth, swallowed, and forced a smile for her sake. She seemed to feel a little better, but daddy wasn’t buying it. He hadn’t said much to me about AJ since Christmas. I explained briefly to both of my parents that it didn’t go so well, but neither of them had been able to pull any details from me. They definitely noticed that I was spending more time in the house than usual.

  “Samantha, baby you’re gonna have to get yourself together. Your mother and I can’t help if we don’t know what’s wrong,” he said caringly. “I know you’re not comfortable talking about AJ with me, but maybe we need to give it another shot. I’m willing to be as open minded as you need me to be. Just let me try to help.” I looked into his eyes only to find pure love and concern for me. He really did just want to help.

  I nodded, agreeing to try again. It wasn’t going to be easy opening up to him because of the way he’d responded to AJ in the past, but something about the way he looked at me made me believe that he was really going to try to see things differently this time.

  After dinner he led me to his study while mom straightened the kitchen up. My hands were clammy and I was beginning to have second thoughts. Daddy shut the door behind me and then sat behind his desk.

  “Alright,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I’m ready when you are.”

  I stared at him for a few seconds before I began. “Dinner at AJ’s house was a total disaster. His mom was really nice, but his dad……” I hesitated. “I overheard him and AJ talking on my way to the bathroom and he didn’t even give me a chance. He took one look at me and made up his mind.” Daddy hung his head a little, feeling ashamed as I said the words. I’d just described the very thing he’d done to AJ on my birthday. “He told AJ that I wasn’t good enough for him.”

  “Based on what?” He asked defensively.

  “He told him that he didn’t want him with a black girl because I was gonna drag him down,” I replied. This was the first time since the incident happened that I talked about it. Even the few times AJ brought it up, I quickly changed the subject.

  “And what did AJ do? Sit back and let his father talk bad about you?” Daddy asked, obviously expecting to hear that AJ hadn’t defended me at all.

  “No! Of course not! He stood up to him and demanded that he respect me.” My father’s eyes widened slightly and I could see from his expression that he was beginning to question whether he’d misjudged AJ. “He’d never let anyone talk about me that way. Not even his parents,” I added

  “So, is that when you two decided to leave?” He asked.

  “No, I stayed through dinner for AJ, but while his mom and I were in the kitchen cleaning up, he and his dad got into it again in the living room.” I stopped there not wanting to mention the part about Charleston.

  “They were still arguing about you?” He inquired.

  “Yeah……kind of,” I replied.

  He stared at me curiously. “What’s ‘kind of’ mean?”

  Disclosing my and AJ’s plan to my father was not on my agenda for tonight, but he seemed to be opening up to the idea of AJ and I being together. I fully believed that he would be receptive, so I blurted it out. “He told his father that he was coming to Charleston with me.” Daddy’s eyes bucked. “He was accepted to Westwood and passed on it to be with me.”

  He stared at me for a long time and then my phone rang in my pocket. Without taking my eyes off my father, I pulled it out and answered it. “Hello?”

  “Can you come outside?” AJ asked. I hadn’t even realized it was him.

  “Yeah. When? Now?” I asked excitedly. I was on my feet with my hand on the door knob by this time.

  “I’m already out front,” he replied.

  I snapped my phone shut and opened the door, turning to look back at Daddy to explain why I was in such a rush. But before I could, he spoke. “Is he outside?” He asked.

  “Yeah, and I don’t know how long he has because his dad grounded him. I don’t even know how he managed to get out of the house at all,” I explained.

  He deliberated for a few seconds and I became more anxious to get to AJ as I waited. “Why don’t you call him back and invite him in.”

  Before daddy had a chance to change his mind I called AJ back on Karl’s phone and relayed Daddy’s message. He was hesitant, but he gave in. Half a minute later he was in view and I ran out onto the porch to meet him. Daddy stood behind me in the doorway, but I didn’t care. I threw my arms around AJ and squeezed him close to me. Neither the freezing cold nor the falling snow mattered to me at that moment. All of that faded away as we embraced. Daddy cleared his throat from behind me causing me to back up from AJ a little. I held his hand and led him the rest of the way to the door and closed it behind us. I was more nervous about this than I cared to admit. Their eyes were locked on one another.

  “AJ, I’d like you to meet my father.” He was hesitant, but then extended his hand toward Daddy.

  I held my breath and waited. Mom was standing in the doorway to the kitchen in absolute shock. After a few seconds my father reached out and took AJ’s hand and spoke. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” I couldn’t believe that I’d gotten my wish. The two men who meant the most to me in the world were no longer enemies.

  Mom smiled and moved toward my father and placed her hand on his back. “Alright. Well, we know you two have some things to discuss.” She looked up at my father cautiously before continuing. “It’s fine if you want to go to your room for some privacy.”

  “But leave the door open.” My father amended quickly.

  I smiled at Daddy and nearly dragged AJ up the stairs. Once in my room I had to hug him again. I couldn’t stop staring and smiling at him. He seemed like he felt the same sense of relief that I felt. When we were finally able to separate ourselves my knees felt like they’d give out. I sat on the edge of my bed and exhaled sharply. AJ pulled out the desk chair and sat across from me, still watching me intently.

  “How did you talk your parents into letting you out of the house?” I asked curiously.

  AJ smiled. “My dad left to go out of town about an hour ago. He took my phone and keys with him, but my mom let me use her car and told me that I could go wherever I wanted as long as I made sure that my dad never finds out. She wrote the new security code down for me and now……here I am.” His smile grew and so did mine.

  “When’s he coming back?” I asked flatly.

  The smile on his face faded. “Around ten tomorrow morning.”

  As we sat there, I thought of the more serious matter that we still had to discuss. “So, what else did he say about you going to Charleston?” My tone was solemn. There was a very strong possibility that Mr. Hahn would find some way to force AJ to go to Westwood.

  “He threatened not to pay for it, but I then reminded him that I gained control of my college fund when I turned eighteen this past summer. That pissed him off, but there really isn’t anything he can do.”

  A smile crossed my face as I remembered my conversation with daddy. “I told my father too.”

  AJ’s eyes widened. “About us going to school together? And he didn’t fl
ip out?”

  My initial reaction was to laugh at how shocked he was. “No, he didn’t really say anything, but he can’t be too mad if he invited you in today.”

  “Glad you brought that up. How’d that happen?” His expression was confused.

  “We finally talked about everything that happened on Christmas and I think he was really impressed that you stood up to your father and defended me. I guess he had a change of heart.”

  AJ didn’t respond, but he appeared to be content with my father’s gesture. I reached for his hand, jolting him from his thoughts. “Come here. I wanna show you something.” He raised his eyebrow at me curiously, but didn’t ask any questions as I led him out of my room and up the attic steps. The first time I’d brought him to my studio – which was also the last time – I was too nervous to relax, but my growing trust in him kept those feelings at bay. The painting that my love for him inspired was still hanging on my easel. His eyes were fixed on it before I’d even pointed it out.

  “I was thinking about you,” I explained as he moved toward it.

  “This is really good.”

  I watched him fixedly, admiring him as he admired my work. I took in details like his perfect lips that were moderately full and visibly soft; his deep set strikingly dark eyes; his jet black silken hair; and smooth skin. My temperature went up a few degrees as I looked over his features. There was not a work of art in existence that could ever do AJ’s magnificence justice.

  “When’d you do this?” He asked, startling me a bit.

  “Uh……the day I came back home.” I looked over the painting again. “I missed you and then decided to come up here and release some of the pent up emotion……and this is what I got.” Without turning to look at me, he took my hand and stood silently beside me.

  There was a soft knock at the door just before the sound of daddy’s footsteps echoed through the attic. AJ and I looked back just as daddy peeked around the corner. “Just checking on you kids. Everything alright?” He asked.