From Admiration to Love: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Sophia King

  “Of course I have,” said Elizabeth. “He is a betrothed man. And remember, I did not know him for very long. I have not been crying into my pillow over him.”

  “I am very glad to hear that,” said Lydia with feeling. “It has concerned me greatly that you might still think of him.”

  “Not at all.”

  “And I think all this talk against dashing men has come about because you are developing feelings for someone who is not quite so dashing?” Lydia stood on her toes to see the direction Elizabeth had come. Through the gaps in the crowd, she caught a glimpse of Mr Darcy. He stood a little apart from everyone as usual, and his gaze was fixed across the room on Elizabeth. Miss Bingley stood by his side, trying to engage him in conversation, but he paid her little attention. Elizabeth also followed her look. Her and Mr Darcy smiled at one another.

  “I should return to him,” she said. “Have a good time, Lydia. And for heaven’s sake…”

  “Behave myself. I know.” Lydia nodded. “Go back to Mr Darcy. And I insist on being a bridesmaid.”

  Elizabeth threw her an exasperated look but did not deign to respond. For the rest of the evening, her and Mr Darcy did not leave one another’s side, and they parted with a promise that her and her family should come to his house for dinner the following evening. She hardly dared hope he might propose.

  Chapter 27

  Mr Darcy walked down the hall of his fine house to greet them. He looked cross and displeased, more like the cold young man he had been when Elizabeth first knew him. She had grown so accustomed to his warm smiles and more relaxed ways that she had almost forgotten how he had once been.

  “I hope nothing is the matter?” she asked when he came to greet her. He grimaced.

  “I have an unexpected visitor,” he said. “I did not know she planned to come to town. She does so rarely.”

  “Who?” asked Elizabeth after he had turned to greet her aunt and uncle. Once again, Lydia had declined to come, claiming there would be time enough to meet the Darcys when they were to be her own family. While it was improper of her to refuse yet another invitation, Elizabeth was not confident enough in Lydia’s behaviour to have her join them. She was sure Mr Darcy would be relieved rather than offended.

  “My aunt, Catherine,” Darcy whispered in her ear. “Come. There is no avoiding it.”

  He led them to the drawing room. Elizabeth was annoyed at how nervous she felt. She had once been interested in meeting the ridiculous woman from Mr Collins’s stories, but now that she dared entertain some hopes for a union with Darcy, she felt far more vulnerable. She reminded herself that from what she had heard, Lady Catherine was nothing more than a cross old woman. She should not feel threatened by her.

  “Aunt Catherine,” said Darcy. “This is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and her aunt and uncle, Mr and Mrs Gardiner. This is my aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.”

  Elizabeth and her relatives bowed towards the winged armchair where Lady Catherine sat. She merely inclined her head at them. When Elizabeth rose, she looked at the paragon with curiosity.

  Lady Catherine, in spite of her age, was an imposing figure. She still clung to the old fashioned, more severe clothing of the previous century, and it made her look far larger than she really was. Her face might have been handsome in her youth, but now, her thin lips pursed together, giving her a sour look. Her black eyes flicked over them all, fixing especially on Elizabeth. Her thin hands clutched her fan.

  “I did not know my nephew planned to have company tonight,” she said in a sharp, cantankerous voice. “I had hoped for an evening at home with my niece and nephew.”

  “You did not give me prior notice of your arrival, Aunt,” said Darcy. Elizabeth could hear the irritation in his voice. “I had already made plans for this evening. If I had known to expect you, I could have made alternative arrangements.”

  Elizabeth wondered if those alternative arrangements would have involved a cancelled dinner, or a cancelled aunt. Lady Catherine scowled at her nephew.

  “You would expect your aunt to give notice of an arrival? Family is always welcome anywhere, Darcy. I should not have to tell you I am expected.”

  “You do, if you wish me to have no plans for your arrival,” Darcy responded.

  Lady Catherine’s eyebrows flew together as she glowered at her nephew, but she could not make any response to that. She pointed her fan at Elizabeth instead.

  “This is the one I believe Mr Collins wished to marry. She rejected him,” she said in an accusing tone.

  “I did, Lady Catherine,” agreed Elizabeth pleasantly, without a trace of apology in her voice.

  Lady Catherine was about to make another retort before Georgiana came into the room.

  “Miss Elizabeth,” she cried with enthusiasm. “I am so glad you are here. I was hoping you could still come…” Her exuberance ended when she saw her aunt frown.

  “Are you friends with this young lady?” she demanded.

  “I am, Aunt,” said Georgiana in a faltering voice.

  “I have been very happy to see the close friendship that has developed between Miss Bennet and my sister,” said Darcy firmly.

  Lady Catherine once again pursed her small mouth.

  “I am ready for dinner,” she announced imperviously. “Darcy, you may escort me in.”

  Darcy sighed and glanced at Elizabeth with a silent apology. Elizabeth smiled to show him she was not offended. Even if Lady Catherine was not such a battle-axe, she would still have the right to go first by rank. She went in with Georgiana, who clung to her arm as if Elizabeth could save her from her angry relative.

  At dinner, Lady Catherine gave her opinion on everything, from the food they ate, to whether or not her niece should be out in society yet. Elizabeth tried her best to keep the conversation on more dinner-friendly topics, and asked about Charlotte and Mr Collins.

  “Mrs Collins buys too much meat for her family,” Lady Catherine declared when Elizabeth enquired as to how she was. “There is only her and Mr Collins, and two servants. She should not need that much until she has children, and even then, meat is not good for children. I have told her I expect her to have a child by next autumn, and I will be able to help her make sure she does everything correctly. The new mothers in the village are always so grateful for my guidance. The Collins’s have dinner with us almost every night. That is another reason why Charlotte does not need so much food. I have told her it is a waste, and I have instructed the butchers to only allow her have half the portion she used to buy.”

  Elizabeth stared at her in amazement. How could one lady feel she had the right to dictate how others lived? She glanced across at Darcy and he looked mortified by his relative’s rudeness. He engaged Mr and Mrs Gardiner in friendly conversation, but his aunt’s loud voice completely dominated the room.

  It was with some relief that dinner was finally at an end. As he passed her by the table, Darcy leaned in and whispered in her ear; “Miss Bennet, I must speak with you alone…”

  “Fitzwilliam,” said Lady Catherine out loud. “You will assist me to the parlour. I cannot always manage myself at this time of my life.”

  Darcy barely suppressed rolling his eyes. He gave Elizabeth a long, meaningful look, then went to assist his aunt. Elizabeth’s heart pounded. She did not wish to get her hopes up, but all his manner towards her suggested he wished to propose to her. If only his aunt were not here. It was as if she had sensed her nephew was about to make an unfortunate alliance, and turned up to make sure it did not happen.

  Chapter 28

  When they returned to the parlour, Mrs Annesley was there, along with two other women Elizabeth had never seen before. One of them was about the same age as Mrs Annesley and the other was younger. She looked some years older than Elizabeth. Her face was thin and had a yellowish tinge to it. Her hair was limp, and the few attempts at curls hung lifelessly around her thin shoulders. She looked altogether a sickly, cross looking wrench.

  “Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” Lady
Catherine called imperiously. “You must come over here and meet my daughter.”

  Elizabeth glanced at Darcy. He shook his head slightly, but Elizabeth did not understand his meaning. She could not refuse an introduction, so she went forward to meet the other woman.

  “This is my daughter, Lady Anne de Bourgh,” said Lady Catherine. Elizabeth smiled politely and dipped a curtesy.

  “Pleased to meet you, Lady Anne,” she said.

  “Does she not look remarkably well, this evening?” said Lady Catherine.

  Elizabeth did not think so, but perhaps the lady often looked worse? In that case, compared to her usual look, she might look very well indeed.

  “You do look well,” she said with another smile. Lady Anne merely coughed as if her words were of no interest.

  “She may not have sparkling eyes or glossy curls, but she does have the true breeding of someone who comes from a long line of aristocratic stock,” said Lady Catherine, as if she was discussing a breed of cow. “Far superior to low-bred minxes who are all glitter, but nothing underneath.”

  Elizabeth’s breath caught in her throat and she was so taken aback by the lady’s rudeness that she did not know how to respond at first. Lady Catherine waved her fan at her. “That is all. I merely wished to introduce you to Fitzwilliam and Georgiana’s cousin.” She smiled. “And Fitzwilliam’s fiancé.”

  Elizabeth stared at Lady Catherine as her chest squeezed tightly. Darcy’s fiancé? He was engaged to this woman? She turned to look at him. He stared at her and again shook his head, his lips moving as he mouthed something to her privately. Elizabeth’s mind was racing too rapidly to take in what he said. She felt a cold weight press on her chest and her hands shook at her side. She gave Lady Anne another curtsey and moved away.

  Darcy moved towards her, and at once, Lady Catherine called out sharply; “Fitzwilliam. Anne is ill. The journey has taken too much out of her. You must help Mrs Jenkins assist her to her room at once. No, not one of the servants, you!” she barked. “You know she is not at ease with those she does not know well.”

  Darcy gave Elizabeth a lingering look, then left the room to assist his cousin. Lady Catherine gave Elizabeth a triumphant look, then moved to follow them. Elizabeth went to sit by her aunt and uncle and forced herself to smile and not act as if her heart was breaking. They knew she had spent much time with the Darcys lately, but they thought the cause was her friendship with Georgiana, so they did not find anything amiss with the announcement of Darcy and Anne’s engagement. As far as they were concerned, Elizabeth suffered Mr Darcy’s presence as the price she must pay if she wished to continue a friendship with his sister. She was relieved they did not know otherwise. What a fool she would have looked. Twice in a few months to have believed she was the object of affection for a man whose affections had long been engaged elsewhere. She forced herself to smile and chat and praise the dinner when Georgiana returned to the room to sit with them.

  After a while, they heard the sound of Lady Catherine’s sharp voice carrying back down the stairs.

  “Oh no,” Georgiana breathed softly. “Miss Elizabeth, will you walk with me in the garden?” Her eyes were wide and imploring. Elizabeth was just as eager to not spend more time with Lady Catherine, nor did she wish to spend time with Mr Darcy. She agreed at once, and the two ladies were safe outside before the rest of the family returned.

  “You are shivering, Miss Elizabeth,” said Georgiana in concern as she linked Elizabeth’s arm. “I hope you are not cold?”

  “Not at all,” said Elizabeth. She felt as if she would never be warm again. “Please do not worry for me.”

  Georgiana sighed. “Thank you for coming out here with me,” she said. “I know it is not kind of me to say so, but my aunt terrifies me. She is so dominant. If I stay, she will find fault with everything I say or do. I will be far too nervous to play the pianoforte in her presence. I wish we had known she planned to come here so we could have put her off with an excuse.”

  “I would have thought Lady Catherine has her own house in London,” said Elizabeth as they walked down towards the bare rose bushes.

  “She does. But Fitzwilliam says it’s amazing how important family suddenly becomes to her when it suits her. I’d imagine she did not want the inconvenience of sending servants ahead to prepare the house. I am so glad you are here tonight, Miss Elizabeth. The more people who are present, the less she can focus on any one person as she tends to do. And there is no chance Mr Bingley and his sisters joining us, now that he and my brother are not on speaking terms.”

  “I am sorry to hear that,” said Elizabeth. Her mind was still struggling with the knowledge that Darcy was to wed another woman, and she grasped at the conversation to prevent herself thinking on it too much. “I hope their feud will not be of long duration?”

  “I hope so too,” said Georgiana. “I miss Mr Bingley. He is a very kind man. I am sure he will eventually understand why Fitzwilliam had to do what he did.”

  Elizabeth looked at her quizzically. “What do you mean?”

  “I do not know all the details,” she replied. “My brother was quite vague when I asked him. But it seems Mr Bingley was very attached to a young lady in Hertfordshire. He even wished to marry her, but the lady’s family was not desirable. I understand the mother pushed her daughter to capture a wealthy man. Fitzwilliam could not bear to see his friend ensnared in such a way, and convinced him to leave and return with him to London. Bingley listened to him, but he is still angry with Fitzwilliam.” She sighed. “I suppose his pride was hurt to think the lady did not love him. I am sure he will realise my brother acted for the best.”

  Elizabeth stopped walking. “Your brother prevented Mr Bingley from marrying the lady he loved? Why was he to be the judge?”

  Georgiana was startled by the heat in Elizabeth’s voice. “As I’ve said, he did not say much, but I believe he did not feel the lady loved Mr Bingley. That is not unreasonable, is it not?” Her pale face was anxious. “Miss Elizabeth, you look upset. Tell me, what is the matter?”

  Elizabeth looked up to see Mr Darcy coming down the path towards them. His face was as pale as Georgiana’s.

  “Georgie, can you give me a moment alone with Miss Bennet?” he said.

  “There is no need,” said Elizabeth. “It is growing late. We must return to Lydia.”

  She moved past Mr Darcy and avoided his grasp as he reached out for her. He ran down the path after her.

  “Miss Bennet - Elizabeth - please wait. I need to speak with you. It is most urgent.”

  Elizabeth stopped walking and fixed Darcy with a challenging stare. No matter what excuses he offered, she would not make it easy for him. He moved around to stand in front of her and instinctively reached out to touch her. She moved out of his reach and glared at him.

  “I am truly sorry, Elizabeth. I wanted to warn you because I knew what my aunt would say.”

  “You mean about your engagement with Miss de Bourgh? Why would you keep that from me? Surely you would not deny me the opportunity to offer my congratulations?”

  “Elizabeth, please - “

  “You forget yourself, sir. Do not address me so informally,” she said coldly.

  Darcy looked stricken. “It is not true,” he told her. “I am not engaged to my cousin. I never have been. Please listen to me. It is a decision my aunt made when we were babies, but both Anne and I have never agreed to it. In fact, we have spoken about it ourselves and decided that we should not suit. I am not engaged to anyone.” He smiled at her, and watched her anxiously, hoping to see the relief in her eyes that he was not attached to another lady.

  But she still looked at him with that cold glare.

  “I am not sure why you are telling me this,” she said. “It is none of my business whether or not you are engaged.”

  “What?” Darcy had been prepared for any number of responses from her, but not this one. “How can you say that? I think you know it is your business. Elizabeth - Miss Bennet. I am tryi
ng to tell you that I love you.”

  Elizabeth stared at him, and her heart squeezed in her chest. He finally said it. The words she had so recently begun to wish to hear from him.

  And why did she have to hear them when she knew what sort of man he was? Why did it have to be at a time when it would only bring her pain, and no joy?

  She nodded, as if his words were of mere interest, but not especially important. “Excuse me,” she said and made to move past him again.

  “Miss Bennet,” said Darcy. His voice sounded so shocked and anguished that she stopped once again. He moved so he faced her. “Is that all you have to say? I have longed to say these words to you for some time now. Ever since Netherfield in fact, though I tried to fight it. When you heard me speak to Miss Bingley that morning, I was trying to convince both myself and her that you were not a good match for me. Back then, all I could think of was how unsuited you were for me. How enraged my family would be at such an alliance. And I know how unsuitable it is. But I do not care. I wish to marry you, Miss Bennet.” He tried to take her hand. He was sure she must have misunderstood him. Perhaps she thought his attentions towards her where dishonourable if he was engaged? Well, now that she knew, surely she would turn her sparkling eyes to him once again, and give him that smile he had grown to adore?

  If anything, his words only made her more angry. “I wonder how you can tell me you love me, you wish to marry me, and yet insult me as being beneath you all at the same time. You certainly are multitalented, Mr Darcy.”

  “No, I do not mean to insult you. I am being honest with you. My family will not be happy, but I do not care. I have realised that you are what matters most to me, and society be damned.”

  “And you wish to marry me?” said Elizabeth, slowly.

  “Yes. With all my heart.”

  “And do you think I would wish to marry you? The man who has ruined the happiness of my most beloved sister?”

  Darcy stepped back as if she had struck him. He stared at her. She smiled bitterly.