From Admiration to Love: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Sophia King

  “Miss Darcy just told me. All along, I thought it was Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst who had persuaded him to leave her. But it was you. Do you know how heartbroken my sister is? She loved Mr Bingley passionately. Her shy nature prevented her from showing it, but it was not your place to decide how she really felt. Do you deny you separated them?”

  Darcy swallowed, his face grim. “No, I do not deny it,” he said. His jaw tightened.

  Elizabeth nodded. “And it is not just that,” she said. “I know how you have treated Wickham. You denied him the living your father promised him. Like a fool, I convinced myself I had been mistaken about you. That you were not arrogant and unfeeling. That perhaps Wickham remembered events incorrectly. But now, I know my first impression is the right one. I would never want to marry you.”

  She pushed past him again, and this time, Darcy allowed her to leave. She ran up the garden as quickly as she could before he could follow her. She found her aunt and uncle still in the drawing room. Pleading an illness, they agreed they should leave at once.

  Lady Catherine made no move to stop them. She smiled triumphantly at Elizabeth’s pale face and red eyes. As the carriage pulled away, Elizabeth glanced behind. She saw Mr Darcy walk out onto the square and watch as they disappeared around the corner. She spent the journey home reassuring her aunt and uncle that she suffered from nothing more than a headache, and held in her feelings until she was alone in her room.

  Chapter 29

  When she came down stairs to breakfast the following morning, her aunt and uncle looked up at her in concern.

  “I do hope you are feeling better, Lizzy,” said Mrs Gardiner. “You still look pale, my dear. Perhaps you should keep to your bed for the day?”

  “Not at all, Aunt,” said Elizabeth. She felt utterly spent and exhausted, but she could not endure the thought of spending the day cooped up inside. She intended to visit the park. It was the closest to nature she would find there, and it would do her a world of good. “I think it is just the excitement of all our outings in London. It feels as if I have hardly had time to breath since we have arrived.”

  “Not to worry about that, Lizzy. It is easily solved. We shall have some evenings at home, just us as a family. That should help, eh?”

  Elizabeth wanted to weep at her uncle’s kindness. The balm of a loving family was precisely what she most longed for.

  “Thank you, Uncle,” she said. “That sounds perfect. I will see if Lydia wishes to walk with me.”

  Aunt Gardiner laughed. “Are you sure Lydia is what you need if you are suffering from a headache?” she said with a teasing look. “I love her dearly, but she does talk an awful lot.”

  Elizabeth laughed but declined to answer. Lydia’s chatter was exactly what she needed. She had spent the night alone with her thoughts, and now, she would dearly appreciate the distraction of Lydia’s nonsense.

  She knocked on Lydia’s door. There was no sound within.

  “Lydia,” she called. She gently pushed the door open.

  As last time, the room was empty. But unlike last time, Lydia’s room was perfectly tidy. The bed was made, although the servant had not yet had time to dress it. Feeling ill, Elizabeth rushed into the room. Lydia’s bonnet and coat had been hanging on the door, but they were not there now. She pulled open the closet where Lydia had untidily stuffed her trunks when she arrived.

  They were gone. As were her clothes.

  Elizabeth slumped on the bed, too shocked to go to her aunt. Lydia had not slept in this room last night. She had clearly planned to leave, but why? And with who?

  Something white on the dresser caught her eye. It was a piece of paper. She ran to it and read it anxiously. It was a note.

  “Dearest Lizzy,

  Please do not fear for me, and do not be cross with me. I have run away to be married. When next you hear from me, I shall be Lydia Wickham.

  Yes, I have run away with Wickham. We had maintained a correspondence since he left Meryton, but I did not tell you as I knew you would not approve. He has ended his betrothal to Mary King and came to London to find me. We have been meeting secretly these past few weeks. I know you will not mind, as you told me yourself you no longer care for him. We love one another and want to be together.

  I will write to you again as soon as we are married. And do not fear for me, Lizzy. I am with the man I love more than any other in the world,

  Love,

  Lydia Bennet (soon to be Wickham)”

  Elizabeth read the letter over and over again. How could she? Foolish, thoughtless Lydia. How could she possibly think a man who would write to her when he was engaged to another lady, who would insist on courting her in secret, could possibly have good intentions? Lydia was so blinded by her own vanity, so desperate to prove herself as someone important that she refused to think rationally.

  And now she was with him. Elizabeth’s only hope was that they would be married as intended. But she also knew Wickham was a man who wished to marry for money. It was why he had wished to wed Mary King. He would only marry a woman as penniless as Lydia if he really loved her, but she could not think he did. If he loved her, he would have courted her honestly and openly. In spite of her determined optimism, Elizabeth had an awful feeling that Lydia was lost to them. And with her would go all their reputations as well.

  Mr Bennet arrived early the next morning. Mr Gardiner had sent out a letter by express courier, and he had wasted no time in arriving. He read Lydia’s letter in grim silence.

  “How ironic, Lizzy. I am sure it was something like this you had in mind when you wished me to prevent her from going to Brighton, and yet it happened here in London anyway.”

  “It is my fault, brother,” said Mr Gardiner. The Gardiners were pale from lack of sleep. “If we had kept a closer watch on her, this would not have happened. We had no idea she had been sneaking out to meet him.”

  Mr Bennet threw himself into a chair and shook his head. “If anyone is to blame, it is I. I have refused to check Lydia. I enjoyed her foolishness and used her as a source of entertainment. If I had been a better father to her, she would not have behaved so. And I know my daughter’s determination. If she wished to elope with this man, she would have done so, whether she was in London, Brighton or Meryton.”

  “Are you all going to argue over who shares the most blame, or are you going to look for her?” asked Elizabeth impatiently.

  Mr Bennet looked at her and laughed. “My plain speaking little Lizzy,” he said with affection. “You are right. I have written to Wickham’s regiment for news of plans he might have mentioned, and instructed that any intelligence be brought here. That will give us a place to start.”

  “And what of Officer Denny?” Elizabeth suggested. “His family live in London. Wickham was here with him before he came to Meryton to join the Militia. They might have information about him.”

  Her uncle and father looked at one another. “It is a start,” said Mr Gardiner. “I know the Dennys. We shall leave at once.”

  “I will come with you,” said Elizabeth. She moved towards the door to find her cloak, but her father stopped her.

  “You must stay here,” he said. At Elizabeth’s protest, he continued, “We need someone to be home if the magistrate arrives with any news or wishes for more information.”

  “But surely my aunt can do that,” Elizabeth argued.

  “But not as well as you can. You know your sister much better. If he asks for information, you are the one most ready to give it.”

  “I do not believe I knew my sister at all,” said Elizabeth as she reluctantly returned her cloak to the peg. But she couldn’t argue with the wisdom of her father. She would be of little use at the Dennys, but she could be of some use at home.

  “You know her better than you think,” said her father. “And often tried to warn me about her, but I would not listen.” He crossed the room to kiss the top of her head. “It shall not happen again,” he promised. He straightened up and nodded to Mr Gardiner
. The two men left the house.

  Chapter 30

  The house was silent after they left. Aunt Gardiner was down in the kitchen, discussing recipes with cook. She needed to do something to occupy her mind or she felt she would go mad with worry as to her niece’s whereabouts. Elizabeth had nothing else to do, so she pulled a book from the shelf and went to sit by the window overlooking the street. A part of her hoped desperately she would see her little sister returning home to them once again, safe and contrite.

  The rumbling of a carriage wheels pulled her attention from her book. She looked down onto the street below to see a carriage come to a stop outside the house. The door opened and Mr Darcy jumped out. He looked up at the house, and his eyes seemed to meet hers. Elizabeth gasped and recoiled. What on earth was he doing here?

  It was too late to have the servant tell him she was not at home. As Darcy was shown into the room, she rose and pinched her cheeks to make herself look as if she had some life left after a sleepless few nights.

  “Miss Bennet,” said Mr Darcy. He held his hat in his hands. The lines of his face made him look grim and tired. His jaw was stubbled and his hair dishevelled.

  “Mr Darcy.” Elizabeth gave him a curtsey.

  As soon as the servant left, he turned to her, his eyes filled with urgency. “Miss Bennet, I must speak with you,” he said, taking a step towards her.

  Elizabeth shook her head. She could not cope with him on top of the strain she already felt about her sister and the potential ruin of their family.

  “Mr Darcy, please. I do not mean to be rude, but this is not a good time.”

  “It will not take long,” he said. “I wished you to know that I sincerely regret my interference between my friend’s relationship with your sister. It was wrong of me. I honestly believed she did not love him, but was obeying your mother’s desire that she marry him. I spoke with Bingley yesterday and confessed everything. He was angry with me, but he still loves your sister. I believe he plans to leave for Meryton and speak with her as soon as possible.”

  Elizabeth stared at him in amazement. “I understood Mr Bingley was engaged to another,” she said.

  Darcy frowned. “Where on earth did you hear that?”

  “From Miss Bingley. She said Mr Bingley was engaged to a Miss Parker.” Elizabeth smiled grimly. “She was most enthusiastic to let me know of it.”

  Darcy sighed. “I know it is ungentlemanly for me to speak so, but we both know what sort of person Miss Bingley is. She tends to see things as she wishes them to be, not as they are. She plans to have Miss Bingley marry her friend, but that is not the same thing as an engagement.”

  Elizabeth could have wept. Poor Jane was to be disappointed yet again. Mr Bingley would surely not wish to marry her once the news of Lydia’s elopement came to light. Darcy’s face fell, and he took a step towards her.

  “Miss Bennet, what is it? I had hoped this news would make you happy.”

  “I am afraid it has come too late,” she said. He looked at her in horror.

  “Do you mean Miss Bennet has moved on to another?” he asked.

  Elizabeth shook her head impatiently. “No, I do not mean that. Wickham has…”

  Darcy swore in exasperation. Elizabeth stared at him in shock. She had never heard him do such a thing before. His dark eyes flashed with fury.

  “That man,” he spat. “He appears everywhere and ruins all he touches. Miss Bennet, you have been entirely deceived as to Wickham’s true character.”

  Elizabeth’s legs felt as if they would not support her. She sank unsteadily back into her chair. “What do you mean?” she asked fearfully.

  Darcy paced the room, running his hand through his thick hair. Elizabeth had never seen him so agitated.

  “You will understand why I kept this from you when I explain,” he said, turning to face her. “I do not know what he has told you, but I can tell you a faithful account of all my dealings with that man. And I hope you will realise you have had a fortunate escape from his clutches.”

  Little did he know. Elizabeth’s heart was in her mouth as she nodded for him to continue. If they were to have any hope of finding Lydia, they would have to know the truth of the man they were dealing with.

  Darcy stood at the mantelpiece, resting his forearm there. He seemed too agitated to sit still. “I was raised with Wickham,” he told her. “He was the son of my father’s steward and we are of a similar age. We passed our boyhood together, and I felt we were firm friends. He was a great favourite of my father, who supported his education at Cambridge. He even arranged that the church living you had heard of should be his when it became vacant.”

  Elizabeth nodded. It all lined up with what Wickham had told her himself.

  Darcy absent-mindedly rapped his knuckles on the mantelpiece as he continued. “But it became obvious Wickham had no interest in the church. At Cambridge, his time there was spent in idleness and dissolution. He spent much time drinking and pursuing women. He left before finishing. When my father died, he told me he had no interest in joining the church. He expressed an interest in studying the law. I did not believe him, but I was happy to pay him the equivalent of the living, and considered my father’s duty to him to be at an end.” He laughed bitterly. “But of course it was not. When you give to that sort of man, he sees you as a resource he can endlessly take from. He wrote to me often requesting more money. The amount I had given him would have provided him with a comfortable life if he had not spent it all on gambling and - other pursuits,” he finished delicately. “I refused to give him any more and he wrote several abusive letters, cursing me. I thought they were empty threats, a man venting his rage and nothing more.” Darcy sighed heavily. “And now we come to the difficult part of the story,” he said. “This summer, Georgiana stayed at Ramsgate with her recently acquired companion, Mrs Younge. Mrs Younge and Wickham knew one another, and she wrote to him, telling him of Georgie’s presence. He went to see her and courted her. He convinced her she was in love and almost convinced her to consent to an elopement.”

  Elizabeth’s hand flew to her mouth. This was the sort of man her sister was with.

  Darcy misunderstood her reaction and nodded grimly. “He meant to avenge himself on me and avail himself of my sister’s fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds. He would have gambled it all away in a few years if he had succeeded. Fortunately, the day before the intended elopement, I joined them unexpectedly. Georgiana could not bear lying to me and confessed everything. She was heartbroken when she learned that Wickham had never loved her. It has taken some time for her to recover, and I am happy to say, she has improved lately.” He gave Elizabeth a significant look. “It was why I was so unpleasant at the assembly the first time we met,” he confessed. “I had said goodbye to her that day, and felt the separation keenly. I did not wish to be out in company that night, but Bingley insisted. I was worried for my sister. When Bingley suggested I dance with you, I spoke as I did so he would stop pressuring me. But I never meant it, Miss Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth buried her face in her hands and wept. Darcy was alarmed. These were not tears of relief.

  “What is it?” he demanded. He crossed the room swiftly to her side and knelt before her. He gently took her hands in his to see her face.

  “Lydia,” she wept. “She has run off with Wickham. My father arrived this morning, and he and my uncle are searching for her. She thinks they are eloping, but I know he will not marry her. She is too poor for that.”

  Darcy straightened up at once.

  “What have they done to find her?” he demanded.

  Elizabeth told him how they had gone to find news from the Dennys. She showed him Lydia’s letter. He was once again as cold as she had known him. But this time, she knew him better and was not so troubled by it. She watched him pace the room, lost in thought.

  “How many people know about this?” he asked.

  “Not many,” she replied. “You and I, obviously. My immediate family and my aunt and
uncle. Even the servants think she has gone to stay with friends.”

  Darcy nodded with satisfaction. “Good. The fewer who know, the better we can salvage this without Lydia being sacrificed to that scoundrel.”

  Elizabeth warmed at his use of the word “we”.

  “You are going to help me?” she asked.

  He stopped pacing and stared at her in surprise. “Of course I am. Did you think I spoke in jest when I told you that I love you? That I wish to spend my life with you?”

  “I do not know what to think,” said Elizabeth. She was so relieved at the thought of Darcy being by her side, of him using the full force of his intelligence and resources in her family’s aid that she could have wept.

  Darcy came towards her and pulled her to her feet. “I have been a fool about many things,” he admitted. “I have not handled them as I ought to have done. But I am not a fool about you.” He grinned. “A fool for you, certainly. But never about you.”

  And he kissed her.

  Chapter 31

  “I have never been to this part of town before,” said Elizabeth. They walked down the streets of Whitechapel, Elizabeth clutching tightly to Darcy’s hand. The streets were rough and full of dark, twisted alleyways. Elizabeth shuddered. Darcy had tried to insist she stay behind, but she had kicked up such a fuss that he had relented, on condition that she allow him to deal with Wickham if they should find him.

  “I am glad to hear it,” said Darcy. “It is not the sort of place ladies should wander about in. It is a den of thieves and other unsavoury types. The perfect place for Wickham and Mrs Younge.”

  “How do you know where she lives?” Elizabeth asked as they manoeuvred around a man who stumbled drunkenly from a tavern. He leered at Elizabeth but before he could say anything, he keeled over in the street. Elizabeth gasped.