The Surgeon’s Secrets

by Michelle Love

  “What, Jason?” I turn around and look right into those damn enticing, dark blue eyes. As dark as the Atlantic Ocean, they are, and just as hard to stop looking into.

  “What?” he asks, and a sadness creeps into those gorgeous eyes. The heavy, long lashes touch his high cheekbones as he looks down. “You’re still mad at me? After all this time?”

  A deep, cleansing breath helps me to pull in my prickles. “Jason, I know it’s been a long time. I know I shouldn’t hate your ass anymore. I know these things. We were kids. You didn’t know any better. I’m sorry.”

  He raises his head and says the words I’ve wanted to hear since the night I left our tiny hometown to go off to college, after finding him making out with a girl who lived three houses down from me. “I’m sorry, Britt.”

  My head feels heavy and numb with his apology. I was nineteen when I caught him cheating on me for the umpteenth time in our stormy, three-year, on-again-off-again relationship. That was six years ago and you’d think the sting would’ve dissipated.

  It hasn’t, though.

  “While it’s nice to finally hear you say that, it’s not enough.” I turn and walk away from him.

  I’m thankful he doesn’t follow me, and I disappear into the bathroom. My heart is thumping hard, my head is spinning, and I want to leave.

  But I can’t. At least, I don’t think I can. I’m supposed to sign the damn books. But I so don’t want to go back out there.

  A waitress comes into the bathroom and looks around like she’s looking for someone, then she comes up to me. “Are you Brittany Caldwell?”

  I nod and put on some lipstick I pulled out of my little clutch purse.

  She gives me a nervous smile. “A very handsome man asked me to see if you’re okay in here. He says he’s worried about you.”

  “Let me guess. He’s a tall man with meticulously styled, short, dark hair. His muscles have muscles and he’s dressed to the nines. That man, right?” I look at her through the mirror.

  “Yes, that’s him. He’s waiting for you just outside the door.”

  “Fantastic! And we happen to be so high up that there’s no escape through a bathroom window. Just my luck!” I put my lipstick back into my clutch, walk passed the waitress, then spin around and ask, “He didn’t hit on you, did he?”

  She shakes her head. “No, of course not!”

  With a smirk, I say, “You’re the first woman he hasn’t hit on. But the night’s young. I’m sure you’ll get to experience a dose of his unending charm and charisma.”

  I push the door open and walk out as if I have something very important to get to. I see Jason in my peripheral vision and hurry. He catches my upper arm and I’m dragged to a corner.

  “This isn’t how you were brought up to act, young lady. When you see someone from your hometown, you’re supposed to be cordial!” His hands move over my shoulders and down my arms.

  “Stop,” I whisper. “Please.”

  “No,” he says with his deep, sexy, Southern drawl. “Baby, you and I should be catching up. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Since I’ve touched you. Since I’ve held you.”

  I glare at him. “Bet it hasn’t been a while since you’ve done that to somebody, though. What makes me so special?”

  His lips quirk up into a crooked smile. “Everything makes you special, Britt.” The way his hand moves through my hair makes me stop breathing. “Your dark waves. Your deep green eyes. Your ruby red lips. Your big, juicy breasts.”

  “Don’t,” I warn him. “I happen to know you like tits in all sizes and shapes. Mine aren’t so special. Not to you, anyway.”

  “You must’ve really cared about me to still be angry after all these years. How many has it been? Three? Four?”

  “Six,” I say with a growl. “Six damn years and still you can make an anger rise up in me like no other man can, Jason Brennan.”

  “Maybe because you still love me.” He bats those long, lush lashes as he licks his lips. “I still love you, pumpkin-doodle. I always have.”

  “Stop that!” I try to push him back so I can get away from his way too-good-smelling body.

  He always did smell great. Clean, with only a hint of a musky cologne. Instead of getting away from me, he moves in even closer, pinning me between him and the wall. “Baby, you and I both know you’re going to give into me. You always have and you always will. So why not stop the antics so we can get the hell out of here, out of these clothes, and on to better things?”

  “You are delusional.” I rest my hand on his broad chest and try hard not to love the way it feels underneath my palm.

  I think he’s gotten even more muscular since the last time I saw him.

  His hand covers mine and he moves my hand over his chest. “I work out now. You should see my pecs. They’re monstrous. My abs are like six hills that lead to the promised land, pumpkin. And your tits are bigger than they were when you were nineteen. Your ass is rounder and my mouth is watering to take every bit of you into it.”

  My legs are shaking and I hate myself right now. “Why?”

  That’s all I can say. I have boat-loads I’d like to ask. Things I’ve always wanted to know. But all I can say is that one stupid word.

  “Because you were my only virgin, Britt. In my mind, you are mine and only mine. You know, Biblically, you belong to me.” His lips brush my cheek. “So come on, baby. Let your man have a taste of what you’ve become.”

  “My man?” I laugh. “You belong to no one, Jason.”

  My heart stops as he leans in even closer. His mouth moves over my neck. “There is a large piece of me that belongs only to you.” He takes my hand and pulls it to move over his erection.

  His actions piss me off. “That is the one thing you will share with any who wants it. Now, if you’d have run my hand over your heart …wait, you’d have to have one of those to do that.”

  His laugh is low. His lips barely touch me as he grazes them over my neck. “Always loved your sense of humor. Come on, Britt. I’m dying here. Don’t make me beg.”

  I have to bite my lip to try to stay focused. His damn body all up on mine is so distracting. I have to remember this guy cheated on me for three fucking years.

  Every time he got caught, he begged and pleaded, and I took him back. Then he’d do it again, and I’d take him back when he cried and promised he only loved me and that he’d never do it again. Then he’d do it again.

  I push him back hard and he takes a couple of steps back. “Good! I hope you do die!” I storm away from him, go back to the table, and take my seat again.

  “Well, hello there,” a very nice and deep voice says.

  I look up and find a nice-looking man holding his book out to me. I turn on the charm and make up my mind in an instant to give Jason a dose of his own medicine. “Hi, how are you doing this evening?”

  “Better now. Please tell me you’ll give me a little more than just your autograph. I’m a real fan of your work, Brittany. I’ve followed your career and have bought books just to have your covers gracing my library.” He smiles, and I think he’ll do just fine to show Jason how I roll now.

  That little girl he knew from our tiny Texas town has grown up. I’m the heartbreaker now. No one has come close to getting into my heart like he did all those years ago.

  “I’d love to talk to you. What’s your name?” I poise my pen to write him a special little something inside the front cover.

  “Brent. Make it to your good friend, Brent. Would you?”

  I write out a racy little something that really doesn’t belong in a book about rescued animals, but what the hell. My fires have been ignited, and this man is going to be the one to put out the fire Jason started.

  “How about you and I talk more right now?” he asks me as he holds out his hand.

  I take it and go with my new conquest to the bar. He hands me a drink. Its pink and fruity and I kind of hate the taste, as it’s really sweet, but I sip it and follow the man to sit
at a table.

  I act like I find humor in his every word, though I’m not really listening. I’m watching Jason watching me out of the corner of my eye.

  He’s not even trying to act like he’s not looking at me. Jason is staring a hole in me as I flirt it up with this other guy. I completely turn my head so I can’t see him and pay full attention to the man I’m going to be taking to my bed in a little while.

  “I read about you a couple of years ago in an article about up-and-coming women who are making tons of money. Who knew making book covers could be so rewarding, huh?” he asks me.

  I run my fingertips over his shoulder. “Yeah, who knew. I liked graphic design and made a couple of book covers. The next thing I knew, I was winning awards and in demand. My little hobby turned into a very profitable business.”

  The guy leans in very close and asks, “In all confidentiality, is it true you’ve broken the billion-dollar mark?”

  I smile. “More than a few times, Brent. You know, I have a penthouse overlooking the East River. I have paintings of every one of my award-winning covers, which I had done by a local artist. Would you like to see them?”

  “I would. So, is it safe to assume you aren’t attached?” he asks as he runs his hand over my thigh.

  For reasons I can’t figure out, I turn my head, and my eyes connect with the still-staring Jason. I turn back to the man who I’m about to take home and fuck nine ways to Sunday and say, “I’m not attached to anyone, Brent.”

  He makes a little moaning noise. “Good. Because I’d like the chance to show you what I can do for you. Maybe you’ll find me attachable.”

  I laugh as he takes my hand, pulls me up, then wraps his arm around my waist. “Maybe.”

  There’s no way I’ll find him to be any more than a one-time thing. He’s not making any sparks light up in me. He’s useful only to make Jason jealous, and then I’ll need nothing else from the man.

  We walk right past Jason as he leans up against a wall, sipping on a tall, dark bottle of beer. The brand we used to drink when we were young.

  Brent gives me a squeeze and says, “Tomorrow, I’ll take you to my place so you can meet my dog, Rascal. He’s going to love you. Then we can get some dinner, and on Sundays, I always visit my grandmother in the nursing home, and I know she’s going to love you.”

  He sounds like a really nice guy. Too bad I’m going to use him and then boot his ass out of my home.

  Chapter 3

  JASON

  She’s so cute, thinking I’m going to let her go off with that random strange man.

  Following a safe distance behind Brittany and her new fella, I let them get all the way to her waiting car. Then I swoop in.

  With a tap on the guy’s shoulder, I have him turning around. His blonde eyebrows arch up in confusion. “Can I help you?”

  “It’s me who can help you. You see, you forgot something back there. A woman was shouting out for you to go back, but I guess you didn’t hear her. She asked me to come and tell you to go back up. It must be very important.”

  “Don’t listen to him,” Britt says as she tugs at the guy’s hand. “Come on with me, Jason!”

  He looks back at her. “My name’s Brent.”

  “Yeah, Brent. I meant to say that. Come with me, Brent.” She looks at me with fire in her eyes. “I need you to come with me.”

  I raise my brows at her. “But he’s left something behind, ma’am. Can’t you wait for him here? He’ll be right back.”

  Her green eyes narrow, her jaw clenches, and she looks so adorable. Then her whole expression changes to one of surprise when her boy-toy says, “I’ll be right back. Please wait for me right here.”

  Off he goes and here I stand. “I’ll go with you, pumpkin-butt.”

  “Jason Brennan, how could you?” She stamps her little, red-heel-covered foot.

  It draws my attention and I look at it, then make my way slowly up her body. The black dress fits her perfectly. There are no sleeves to hide her very fit and toned arms.

  Her skin is creamy and looks delicious. I reach out, take her hand, and pull her along with me. “Tell your driver to go home. You’re going with me tonight.”

  “No, I am not!”

  I look over my shoulder as I pull her into me and wrap my arm around her shoulders. “She’s going with me. You have the rest of the night off.”

  He nods at me and gets back in the car. His actions kind of surprise me. Seems he’s not the least bit surprised.

  “Jason, I don’t know what you think is going to happen. I’m not about to let you have any kind of sex with me.” Her heels click on the sidewalk as we make our way down to where my car and driver are waiting.

  “I don’t even want to have sex with you, anyway, Britt.” I give her shoulders a little squeeze.

  My driver hops out of the car and opens the back door. “Mr. Brennan.”

  I stop just before putting Britt into the car. “Hey, Donovan, I’d like to introduce you to my good friend from back home in Texas. This is Brittany Caldwell. You’ll be seeing her with me a lot from now on.”

  “No, you won’t,” she says. But her southern hospitality kicks in and she holds her hand out to shake his. “But it’s very nice to meet you, Donovan.”

  He takes her hand and kisses the top. “As it is to meet you, Miss Caldwell.”

  She smiles that gorgeous smile she has, then looks back at me and it turns upside down. “Jason, let’s just get this over with.” She slips inside the car.

  With a groan, I say, “She’s my first real girlfriend. Hence the anger.”

  “I understand completely,” he says, then closes the door behind me.

  I don’t know why he said that. I mean, I’m not an ass or anything. I keep my women apart now and no one is the wiser. I’ve learned loads since I hurt this girl here so many times.

  And now I can make it up to her. I always did feel terrible about making her cry. It always made me cry, then she’d feel bad that I was crying and give me another chance.

  Of course, I’d always find my way right back into the arms of other females. But that’s not my fault. I think I’m wired a little differently. That’s all.

  But now I have my app. I can make this work, and she’ll never be hurt by me again. My life has come full circle. It was her I developed the app for anyway. So no one ever has to be hurt again.

  I should get a humanity award or some shit!

  She scoots all the way over. “So, why do you look so rich, Jason?”

  I scoot all the way over, too, and make sure some part of my body can touch as much of hers as possible. “Because I am.” I lean in and take a long sniff of her hair. “You smell amazing. I love your hair like that. You let it grow out all pretty.”

  She looks up at me as I pull out one of the bobby pins holding it in place. After a few of them are removed, her hair cascades over her back and shoulders.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she asks me as I take in a deep breath.

  “Smelling you. I missed the way you smell, snuggle-monkey.”

  With a roll of her eyes, she says, “Oh, so the women you mess around with don’t smell good? I highly doubt that.”

  “Well, not like you do. So, I have this awesome idea, cherry-bomb.”

  “I’m sure it’s a terrible idea.”

  I kiss her cheek. “No, it’s awesome. I want you to give me another shot.”

  “No way in hell.”

  “That came out much too quickly. Now, listen to me.” I take her hand in mine. “I can see that you still love me very, very much.”

  “No, I hate you very, very much.” She puts her hand on my chin and makes me look at her. “I really, really do, Jason!”

  Running my fingertip over her plump red lips, I say, “There’s a fine line between love and hate, precious. Let’s just say that you have a lot of emotion when you think about me.”

  She nods. “All negative emotions. Yes, I do have many negative emotions when I th
ink about you. Like right now, your hand is resting on my knee, and if I had a hatchet, I’d chop your arm off.”

  I find myself laughing. “Hey, let’s get a hamburger, fries, and some chocolate shakes like we used to down at the Dairy Burger. I know they don’t have one here, but we can pretend.”

  “I don’t eat carbs.” She looks away from me. “Or sugar.”

  “That’s why you’re too skinny.” I run my hand over her flat stomach. “Donovan, to the best burger joint you know of, please.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Jason, why are you doing this? I’m never going to take you back. You see, I’m the one who breaks hearts now.” She looks at me, and I can see hardness behind the eyes I used to only see sweetness in.

  “I saw that. You were willing to take that sweet guy home and fuck his brains out just to make me jealous. Then you were going to send him on his way, with no clue as to why you did that.”

  She shakes her head. “You don’t know why I was taking him home. I was thinking he’d make a great boyfriend. He really lit my fire. You have no idea.”

  I laugh. “Oh, yeah? How come you don’t have a boyfriend? You were grade-A, prime girlfriend material. Why no man?”

  She looks at me long and hard before she answers me. A glimmer of unshed tears fills her eyes. “Jason, surely you of all people understand why that is.”

  “I’m clueless, sweetheart.”

  “Because you showed me men can’t be faithful, so why should I bother?”

  My whole body goes numb. I never meant for her to turn into me. “Baby, just because I had my issues doesn’t mean all men are like that. Some can be faithful. I never meant to make you think like that.”

  She looks off, then back at me, and one tear falls down her cheek. “You made me believe you loved me.”

  Taking her by the shoulders, I say, “Baby, I did love you. That was never a lie. I still do love you.”

  “Then why was I never enough?” She sits and waits for an answer I just don’t have.

  “I wish I knew.” I let her go.

  I feel like a pile of dog shit. A stinky, yucky, oozing pile of nasty-ass dog shit.

  What did I do to the sweet girl I knew?