All My Tomorrows

by Karen D. Badger

  "No. Don't touch me," Maggie took another step back. "Who are you Jordan? I don't even know you," she said as she turned her back and walked out of the barn.

  During Jordan's confrontation with Maggie, Jan picked herself up from the ground and brushed the hay from her jeans. She picked her hat up and planted it squarely on her head. "Looks like both of us are out," she said.

  Jordan turned toward Jan and pointed in her face. "I know what happened to Maggie today was no accident. I know that you cut the strap on her stirrup. I saw you do it. I am aware that you placed that bag on the edge of the cliff, knowing she would go to investigate it, and I am aware that you are the one who fired the shotgun and made Shawny rear just as she was close enough to the cliff to fall over. I lived it over and over, each time just seconds too late to save her from falling — except for today that is. Kale and Andi managed to send me here just in time to save her. Do you have any idea what it was like to lose someone you love more than life itself?" Jordan's body shook with rage.

  "You are fucking crazy, Lewis," Jan spat out.

  "Call me what you'd like, but I can prove all of it beyond the shadow of a doubt. The only thing I need to do is convince Maggie, and once Maggie is convinced, we'll go to the police."

  "You do know this farm is in my name," Jan said.

  "What I know is that you coerced Maggie's father into adding your name to the deed then kept the lawyer's letter from her when it came in the mail so she wouldn't find out what you did. Oh, and by the way, I have the letter in my possession to prove it."

  Jan frowned. "You had the audacity to go through my personal things?"

  Jordan pushed her hard in the middle of her chest, nearly sending her to the ground again. "And you had the balls to try to kill Maggie so the property would default to you. I'm telling you, Safford, you are going down for attempted murder. That's a promise."

  Jordan turned on her heel and walked half way to the door before stopping to address Jan once more. "I don't own this place, so as much as I'd like to, I can't fire your ass, but know this — I will be watching you like a hawk and if you give me any reason to believe Maggie is in danger again, I will kill you with my bare hands. You got that?"

  CHAPTER 11

  "Maggie, Maggie, please open the door," Jordan said as she stood in the hall outside their bedroom. "I can explain everything."

  "Go away, Jordan."

  "Like hell, I will. You owe it to me to listen to what I have to say. I've been through hell to get to this point and I'll be damned if I'm just going to walk away from you now."

  The door swung open suddenly. "You've been through hell? What about me? I was the one who almost died out there today."

  "Will you just listen to me, please?"

  Maggie crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, you have five minutes."

  "Maggie, I know this is going to sound insane, but over the past several months, I have lived through today several times. I've traveled my way to you over and over again, yet you died before I could reach you. Do you have any idea how that has ripped me apart inside? Losing you was the most agonizing thing I have ever lived through. Losing you again and again was nearly unbearable. I was so afraid I would be too late again."

  Maggie stared at her like she had a third eye in the middle of her forehead. "You're right, it's insane. How the hell does someone die multiple times? And who are you to blame poor Jan for all of this? Hell, she wasn't even out there with us this morning."

  "Poor Jan? Seriously? Maggie, she's been plotting your demise for months now. She talked your father into putting her name on the deed to the farm. I'm telling you, she staged that accident this morning so you would fall over the cliff and die, conveniently leaving the farm to her."

  "That's bullshit, Jordan. What is wrong with you? I specifically told Daddy I didn't need her name on the deed. I called and asked him to take her name off. You were there when I made the call."

  "Yes, but unless you told her, Jan doesn't realize you did that. She still thinks the farm is in both your names."

  "Jordan, I'm done talking about this." Maggie walked past Jordan, through the living room and into the kitchen. Jordan followed close behind. Maggie grabbed her jacket from the hook by the back door.

  "Where are you going?" Jordan asked.

  "I'm going to talk to Jan myself," Maggie replied.

  "Then I'm going with you. I don't trust her."

  Maggie turned around and pushed Jordan backward. "Listen to yourself. Do you know how crazy you sound?"

  "I love you, Maggie. Call me crazy if you'd like, but I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I can't lose you again. I just can't."

  "There you go, talking in riddles again."

  "Then let me explain."

  "You'll get your chance, but first, I want to talk to Jan… alone."

  * * *

  Jordan went directly to the barn to see if Jan was still in the stall, while Maggie made her way across the yard to be bunk house. Jordan found the stall empty and began searching the rest of the barn when John entered.

  "John, have you seen Jan?"

  "Sure did. She left about twenty minutes ago. She said she's had enough of the bullshit around here, pardon my French, and she was fixing to head out."

  "She left? Like in permanently gone?" Jordan asked, relief flooding her chest.

  "It appeared so. She left with a duffle bag slung across her shoulder. I assume she had her clothes in it."

  "Well, I'll be."

  "Good riddance, I say. I didn't much like her anyway. Like I've said before, when Maggie would leave for a few days, she'd strut around like she owned the place, bossing everyone around and pretty much making life miserable. Good riddance, I say."

  "Did she say where she was going?" Jordan asked.

  "No. She just said she needed to leave before the shit hit the fan. I can't say it enough. Good riddance."

  "I can't say that I disagree with you, John."

  Jordan entered a stall containing a large black mustang and began saddling the animal.

  "Going somewhere, Jordan?" John asked.

  "I'm going to take a ride out to the lake for a bit. If Maggie asks, you can tell her that's where I've gone and that I'll be back soon. But first, I need a new bit for my horse," Jordan said as she went to the tack room.

  Once inside the tack room, Jordan opened the panel in the floor beneath the workbench and retrieved the bottle that was inside the cubby. She removed the cork and slipped a piece of paper inside the bottle, re-corked it, then put it back in the cubby.

  Dear Kale and Andi. Just a quick note to let you know I made it on time. I was able to save Maggie. Thank you for all of your help. I love you guys.

  Jordan left the tack room and retrieved her horse then rode it out of the barn and headed at a full gallop toward the lake.

  * * *

  Maggie knocked on the bunkhouse door and waited for a reply. After a few minutes of silence, she knocked again. "Jan? Jan, its Maggie. Are you in there?"

  When no reply came, Maggie opened the door and walked into the common area. It was neat and tidy.

  "Jan?" she said once more as she crossed the room and opened the bedroom door. Again, she was met with an empty room.

  "That's odd. It looks like no one is living in here," Maggie said under her breath. She began rummaging around in the dresser and found all of the drawers empty, as was the closet. The adjoining bathroom was also void of all sign of habitation.

  "What's going on here?" she said as she went back into the bedroom. It was then that she noticed the note on the pillow. Maggie crossed the room and picked it up.

  Dear Maggie,

  I don't know what Jordan has told you, but it's all lies. Regardless of what she says, I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you. It's not my fault that your father put my name on the deed. I didn't ask him to do it. He insisted.

  Anyway, I wanted to warn you about Jordan. She seems unstable to me. She told me some nonsense
about you dying over and over again. I think she's in cahoots with someone named Kale. She also mentioned the name, Andy. I don't know who these guys are, but it makes me suspicious about why she appeared at the farm all of the sudden a five or six months ago. She said something about Kale and Andy sending her here. It sounds like she has an ulterior motive to me. I mean, what do you really know about her? If you fear anyone, it should be her, not me.

  I am also writing this letter to say goodbye. I am obviously in the way here. Despite Jordan's odd behavior, I can see how you feel about her and I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness, if that's even possible with Jordan. For some reason, she has it in her head that I want to kill you. I can't imagine why she would think that. Be careful around her, Maggie.

  I will miss you and I will miss the farm, especially the horses. Think of me fondly.

  I will always love you.

  Jan.

  "I can't believe she's gone," Maggie said as she folded the letter and slipped it into her back pocket

  * * *

  Jordan rode her horse to the edge of the cliff where Maggie had nearly fallen to her death earlier that morning. She dismounted and allowed her mount to graze while she found the worn path at the edge of the cliff that led to the rocks below.

  Jordan made her way down the trail and walked cautiously among the large boulders and rocks that littered the edge of the lake, scanning the ground in front of her as she walked. It wasn't long before she found what she was looking for.

  "There it is," she said as she bent over and picked up a spent shotgun cartridge. She looked at the end of the shell. "Ten gauge. That would have made a pretty loud noise."

  She held the shell to her nose and noticed the smell of gunpowder was relatively strong, indicating it had been fired recently and the lingering odor had not yet had a chance to dissipate. Jordan slipped the shell into her pocket and looked around wondering where Jan would have stood as she watched Maggie fall to her death.

  She must have ridden back to the farm like a bat out of hell as soon as she fired the shot. Maggie and I sat here on the ground for what seemed like an eternity, holding each other like there was no tomorrow. She had plenty of time to make it back before us, and to make it seem like she had been there all along.

  Jordan turned to head back up the trail and suddenly became lightheaded. She had to sit on the closest boulder to prevent herself from passing out. She grabbed her head with both hands as a searing pain shot through her temples. A vision passed through her mind.

  Jordan reached Maggie at the bottom of the cliff and knelt by her side. She took special care not to move her to avoid further injury to her neck or back. Instead, she gently brushed the curly locks from the woman's brow and placed her hands on both sides of Maggie's face. She leaned forward so that she was but a hair's breadth away.

  "Maggie, Maggie, I'm here. Hold on my love. Please don't leave me. The stable hand will find your horse. Help will be here soon. Please hold on."

  Maggie's green eyes fluttered open.

  Jordan gasped and fought back the sobs as renewed hope filled her heart. She reached down, took Maggie's hand in her own, and brought the bloodied fingers to her lips to kiss them tenderly. Jordan's eyes never left Maggie's.

  Maggie smiled as she fought to keep her eyes open. "Jordan," she rasped as the warmth of her breath created puffs in the cold March air.

  Jordan leaned down so she could more clearly hear what Maggie was saying. "I am here, my love."

  Maggie took a ragged breath and her brow furrowed in pain, but her eyes remained locked with those of the woman above her. "Jordan, I love you. I always have… through all time."

  Jordan's throat was nearly closed with emotion as she held back a sob. "I love you too, Maggie. I always will. Please don't leave me. I need you, my love. Please don't leave me."

  Tears cascaded from Jordan's eyes and fell onto Maggie's cheeks as she lowered her face to tenderly kiss her lips. As she raised her head, she watched the life ebb from Maggie's beautiful green eyes. Still holding Maggie's hand, Jordan sat back onto her knees. Her head fell back as a long painful wail escaped her.

  "Oh, my God," Jordan said as the vision faded. "Was I here the last time Maggie died? It was so real."

  Jordan stood and tested her balance. Satisfied that her lightheadedness had passed, she climbed the trail to the top of the cliff, mounted her horse and headed back to the farm.

  CHAPTER 12

  Back at the farm, Jordan took care of her horse then slipped into the tack room to see if Kale had gotten her message. It was still there. Kale and Andi had obviously not seen it.

  She climbed out from under the work bench and paced back and forth, holding the bottle and trying to figure out why her message was still there. She thought back to what happened earlier that morning. An old woman had barged into her bedroom, demanding she get out of bed and go after Maggie before it was too late. The old woman looked familiar.

  She stopped in her tracks.

  Oh my God. Was that old woman me? she wondered. Andi warned me about possible aging effects with time travel.

  Jordan resumed pacing as she sorted out her thoughts. I saw a vision of Maggie dying in my arms this morning. Was I supposed to fail again on this trip back? Could it be the vision I had was the older Jordan's memory of my failing on this trip? Did the older Jordan came back yet a fourth time to make sure I got out of the house early enough to save her this time?

  Jordan looked at the bottle in her hand once more.

  When I had Maggie by the collar and felt Kale trying to retrieve me, was it really me he was retrieving, or was it the old woman? Kale probably doesn't realize the younger version of me is still here. If not, he may never have a reason to check the communication cubby again and I will never be able to go back.

  * * *

  Maggie was waiting in the house for Jordan when she returned from her ride to the lake.

  "Jordan, we need to talk," Maggie said when Jordan entered the kitchen.

  "Yes, we do," Jordan replied.

  "Jan is gone."

  "I know. John told me. He saw her leave within an hour of us getting back this morning."

  "You shouldn't have been so mean to her, Jordan."

  Jordan raised her eyebrows. "She tried to kill you, Maggie, and if I hadn't made it on time, she would have succeeded. I for one am glad her sorry ass is gone. At least now I don't have to worry about her hurting you again."

  Several moments of silence passed between them, until Maggie spoke again.

  "Jordan, I want you to be honest with me."

  "I'm always honest with you, Maggie."

  "I want to know who Kale and Andi really are."

  "I've told you about them already. Kale and Andi are my family," she said.

  "Do they live around here?"

  "They live closer than you think. At least Kale does."

  "Is Kale your brother?"

  "He's about as close to a brother as a person can be without actually being related. I love him very much, and Andi too."

  "I want to know who they really are, Jordan, and what role they really play in your life."

  Jordan crossed her arms over her chest. "Why the twenty questions, Maggie?"

  "It's occurred to me that I don't know anything about you. All I know is that you came into my life and turned my world upside down. You seem to know your way around this farm like you've been here before, yet I have lived here all my life and I only met you for the first time when you showed up here looking for a job six months ago.

  "You are evasive about where you come from, you have this electronic device installed in your back that you claim has the power to cure paralysis and based on your handling of the farmhand who fell from the rafters while building the new barn this past fall, you have some type of medical background. And now, you're spewing all this craziness about me dying several times and your failed attempts to save me… at least until this morning, that is," Maggie explained, the timbre of
her voice raising with each sentence. "That's why the twenty questions, Jordan. Now I deserve an explanation."

  * * *

  Jordan knelt in front of the fireplace and cleaned out the ashes before building a teepee with kindling wood and setting fire to a pile of crumpled newspaper stuffed in the center of them. She watched the fire grow in strength as the kindling caught and the fire spread, all the while, contemplating what she was going to say to Maggie.

  Damn, this is hard. Where should I begin? She's going to think I'm insane. I guess I would too if I were in her shoes.

  Jordan's attention was drawn to the kitchen door as it opened and Maggie entered the living room carrying two tall glasses of iced tea. She handed one to Jordan, then sat on the couch.

  "Thank you," Jordan said as she sipped her tea then put the glass down on the hearth. She added two larger pieces of firewood to the kindling before collecting her glass again and standing in front of the fire. She faced Maggie.

  "Where should I start?" she asked. "Is there anything in particular you want to know first?"

  "Why don't you start with telling me about yourself. Who are you, Jordan? Where do you come from? Did you target me specifically, or was I just the lucky winner in your quest to find work?" Maggie asked, a tinge of bitterness in her voice.

  Jordan stared for a long time at the ice cubes floating around inside her iced tea, trying to come up with the best way to answer Maggie. Finally, she cleared her throat. "Who am I? I am Jordan Marie Lewis, Doctor Jordan Marie Lewis.…"

  "I knew it," Maggie whispered out loud.

  Jordan continued. "Like I said, I am Jordan Marie Lewis and I grew up at 1029 Pheasant Hill Road, Shelburne, Vermont."

  Maggie leaned forward sharply. "That's not possible, Jordan. This farm is located at 1029 Pheasant Hill Road, Shelburne, Vermont. If you had grown up here, I most certainly would have run into you once or twice over the past thirty years, don't you think?" she asked sarcastically.