All My Tomorrows

by Karen D. Badger

  Jordan waited patiently for Maggie to finish before she continued. "I was born on September twentieth in the year 2073."

  Maggie jumped to her feet. "No fucking way! Jordan, 2073 is fifty-four years from now."

  "I know."

  Maggie began to pace. "Jan was right. You are unstable."

  Jordan stopped Maggie by grabbing her arm. "Jan said that?"

  "Yes. She left this letter in her room for me to find." Maggie fished Jan's letter out of her pocket and handed it to Jordan. She waited patiently while watching the expression on Jordan's face change from anger to resignation as she read the letter.

  Jordan handed the letter back to Maggie. "I suppose you believe her?" she asked.

  "At this point Jan sounds far saner than you do. How the hell could you be here right now if you won't even be born for another fifty-four years? It's not possible, Jordan. It's just not possible."

  "If you give me a chance to explain without interrupting me, I'll tell you how it's possible."

  Maggie sat down again and nodded. "Fair enough. Please continue."

  "Like I said, I was born on September twentieth in the year 2073, at the University of Vermont Medical Center in Burlington. My parents bought this farm two years before I was born."

  "Your parents bought my farm in 2071?" Maggie said, disbelief weighing heavily in her voice.

  "I searched the Shelburne, Vermont town records and discovered the farm was owned by Gary and Sharon Downs from 1985 until 2019. I assume they were your parents. Then a woman named Janneal Safford owned it from 2019 until 2031. It was purchased next by Leland and Marion McKenzie who owned it until 2048 when the deed was transferred to Carl and Rachel McKenzie, most probably their son. Carl and Rachel sold the farm to my parents in 2071. I was born two years later. When my parents died, the deed passed to me."

  "The land records actually say Jan owned my property? I don't believe it," Maggie said.

  Jordan picked up the newspaper that was sitting on the coffee table in front of Maggie and tossed it into her lap. Look at the date, Maggie. What year is it?"

  "2019."

  "Yes, 2019. The land records indicated Jan obtained ownership of this farm in 2019. Tell me, Maggie, if I hadn't made it to you in time this morning, what would have happened?"

  Maggie looked up from the paper, bewildered. "I… I would have died."

  "Yes, you would have died and ownership of the farm would have gone to Jan, just like the letter from the lawyer said it would. Remember the letter I found in Jan's nightstand indicating your father added her name to the deed?"

  Maggie picked up the letter. "I admit the fact you found this is Jan's room is suspicious, but I called Daddy and took care of this problem."

  "Yes you did, but only because I made you aware of the letter. If I had never appeared on the scene and brought that letter to your attention, you would have never known and Jan would have inherited the farm when you fell to your death this morning."

  Maggie fell silent while Jordan collected her thoughts. "So where was I? Oh, yes, when my parents were killed in an auto accident two years ago, which was in 2103 by the way, ownership of the farm passed to me. Kale moved in with me shortly thereafter and in fact, he still lives here today."

  Maggie stood and began to pace once more. "Jordan, you are freaking me out here."

  Jordan watched Maggie process the information she had given her.

  Maggie stopped in front of her. "Okay, let's assume what you say is true. How is it you are here, standing in front of me when you haven't even been born yet?"

  "I have Kale and Andi to thank for that, but before I get into any detail about how I got here, let me give you a little background about why I'm here," Jordan offered.

  "Okay. I'll bite. Why are you here, Jordan?"

  "I'm here because you summoned me."

  CHAPTER 13

  "I summoned you?" Maggie asked skeptically.

  "Yes. You haunted my dreams for several years in fact," Jordan replied. "Only, I didn't realize it was you until I found your diaries."

  Maggie rubbed both temples with her fingertips. "This is sounding more and more insane by the minute."

  Jordan reached out to rub Maggie's back. "Are you okay?"

  Maggie flinched under Jordan's touch and moved a few feet away. "I'm fine. A little overwhelmed maybe, but fine. I just don't know what to believe."

  Jordan inhaled deeply and tried not to show Maggie how much her reaction hurt. "I'm getting ahead of myself again. Let me start with my childhood on the farm."

  Maggie sat down once more and picked her iced tea up from the table beside the couch.

  "Not too long after I got here the third time—" Jordan said before Maggie interrupted her yet again.

  "Third time? I don't remember you showing up here multiple times."

  "I carried memories of the failed attempts, but for you, every time was the first time. The first time, my implant failed and I was completely immobile when I landed, so I went back immediately. The second time, we were way off and I appeared just moments before Shawny came back from the pasture without you. You were already dead. The third time put me here several months before your death."

  "I really wish you'd stop saying that. A person can only die once. According to you, I've died, what… three or four times, yet I'm sitting here talking to you right now. Give me a break, Jordan."

  Jordan lowered her chin to her chest and sighed. "Maybe we should just drop it for now," Jordan suggested.

  Maggie put her drink on the coffee table in front of her. "I'm sorry if I sound skeptical, but you have to admit this story of yours is a bit off the wall."

  "I asked you to give me a chance to explain. I'm being totally honest with you about everything, Maggie. Yes, I know it all seems too incredible to be true, but it is. I've lived it."

  Maggie sat back on the couch. "Okay. Please go on. I'll try to keep an open mind."

  "Thank you. Like I was saying, not long after I got here, you noticed the scar on my back and I've kind of explained how it happened already, but let me put things into context for you. When I was growing up on the farm… this farm, we had several horses, mustangs in fact, just like you have. I pretty much grew up on the backs of horses. There wasn't a horse I couldn't ride. Even the feisty ones were no real challenge. When I was fifteen, one of our mares gave birth to a beautiful foal that I named Sally after an old song my parents loved called 'Mustang Sally.' I loved that horse and quickly became her human.

  "One day, when I was sixteen, Sally and I went for a ride into the north pasture. I totally lost track of time and before I knew it, dusk was falling, so I climbed onto Sally's back and kicked her into high gear. She ran so fast, I felt like we were flying. It was an amazing feeling… that is, until she stepped into an old rotted well. We both went down. She threw me over her head and I landed at an odd angle. My back was broken at the L1 vertebrae, just below the small of my back. My spinal cord was completely severed. Unfortunately, Sally didn't make it. I think that hurt more than my own injuries. I was in a hover-chair until I was thirty."

  Maggie frowned. "The well in the north pasture? Jordan, is that why you insisted on having it re-drilled closer to the barn? Is that the well you fell into?"

  "Yes. Filling that well back in was the most cathartic thing I have done since I've been here. I suppose I created quite a few paradoxes by doing that. It is quite possibly one of the reasons I have restored feelings in my legs today. Anyway, I'm off on a tangent again. Where was I? Oh yes, I was sixteen when the accident happened. I was in the hospital for several months, but when I got home, I started having this recurrent dream where I re-lived the accident over and over again. The dreams stopped when I left for college, but the moment I moved home after my parent's death, they started up again. They didn't come every night, but they occurred on a pretty regular basis. There were several times Kale would wake me because I disturbed him by screaming or calling out in my sleep."

  "Was Kale your
boyfriend?" Maggie asked.

  Jordan chuckled. "Hell no, not that he didn't try to convert me to men once or twice. As I've already said, Kale is like a brother to me. I met him when we were both assigned to the spinal implant project. He needed a place to live and I had an extra bedroom. He's been with me every since."

  "So, you're a doctor? I kind of thought you knew something about medicine, judging how you stabilized that construction worker who fell from the rafter."

  "I'm not actually a certified medical doctor although I did attend medical school as part of my degree field. I'm a research scientist with a PhD in the field of kinesiology and spinal cord injuries. Anyway, once again, I digress. As I said, Kale and I were both assigned to a research project at the University of Vermont Spinal Institute on the development of a spinal implant designed to restore mobility to victims of severed spinal cords. Being a victim myself, I volunteered to be the test subject. They almost didn't accept me because by then, my injury was fourteen years old, but in the end, they gave in."

  "I'll never forget the day I saw the scar on your back, Jordan. Do you remember? You had just gotten out of the shower and answered the door of the bunkhouse wearing just a towel that drooped in the back. When you opened the door, my body reacted to you viscerally, but when you turned around, it kind of freaked me out to see such a large pronounced scar, and even more so when you explained that you were really a paraplegic. I should have pressed you harder for more details then. Maybe we wouldn't be here having this discussion now if I had," Maggie said.

  "What I remember about that day, Maggie, is holding my breath when you ran your finger down the length of the scar on my back. My heart was bursting at the seams with desire for you, but then you became extremely alarmed and upset when you hand encountered the battery pack under my skin. In my entire life, I never felt more like a freak than I did that day."

  "I'm sorry for reacting that way, Jordan. It was just so unexpected."

  "I know. Anyway, the implant I have right now is actually the second one we developed. The first one lasted for two years until one morning, Kale woke me for breakfast and my legs refused to support me when I tried to get out of bed. They had to remove the original implant and I ended up back in a hover-chair until the new one completed testing."

  "So what has all of this got to do with me summoning you here? Whatever the hell that means," Maggie asked.

  "Well, I had some down time while recovering from the removal of the first implant and I was feeling pretty depressed and angry about being stuck in a hover-chair again. I have to admit I wasn't very nice to Kale during that time."

  "Wait… you've mentioned the word hover-chair a few times. Don't you mean wheelchair?" Maggie asked.

  "Yes and no. A hover-chair serves the same function as a wheelchair, but it floats on air rather than having wheels."

  "No freaking way! It actually floats?"

  "Yes, but essentially, it's the same thing as being in a wheelchair would be today."

  "Jesus. This sounds like something out of a science fiction novel," Maggie said.

  "In a way, it is like science fiction. Technology makes some pretty incredible leaps and bounds over the next few decades. But again, I digress… after the fourth or fifth time I blew up at Kale, he pretty much reamed me a new asshole and told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and suggested I do something to take my mind off my own self pity so, I decided to redecorate the house, starting with my own bedroom, which by the way, happens to be the same room you're in. That's how I found your diaries between the walls."

  "No way. I don't believe you," Maggie said.

  "I'm not lying to you, Maggie. I read your diaries over the next few weeks. I found myself falling in love with the young woman who wrote such impassioned words. Reading your diaries led me to do research on your life. That's when I discovered through the Burlington Free Press archives, that you died in a horse riding accident in 2019. Don't you see… we were both thrown from our horses, only I survived and you didn't. I convinced myself that the common thread of our accidents was the connection that led to my recurrent dream. I am convinced you were trying to reach me through that dream.

  "The Burlington Free Press made a big deal about how you were an expert horsewoman. It made no sense to me how an accomplished horsewoman would simply fall from her horse to her death, unless there was something dark and sinister behind it."

  "Isn't that a little far-fetched, Jordan? I admit it's a little freaky that we both had horse accidents — supposedly on the same farm, but it's not uncommon for accidents to happen on farms."

  "What I haven't told you yet, Maggie is that the dreams became real. Until I found your diaries, the dreams were simply a replay of my accident with Sally. After I found the diaries, the nature of the dreams changed. There were several dreams that felt more real than dreamlike. For starters, you were in them. There were dreams in which you were a teenager and dreams with you as a young woman. There were even a few that were interactive.

  "Do you remember writing in your diary about a girl named Jess who challenged your virtue right here in this very room and in this very spot by the fireplace? I think you were maybe twenty-two at the time and she was ridiculing you about still being a virgin?"

  Maggie bolted to her feet. "You did read my diaries. I have never told anyone about that event… ever. I wrote it in my diary, but never told another living soul about it."

  "Do you remember her trying to force herself on you when she suddenly got a cramp in her leg?"

  Maggie stood there, her eyes wide with fear as she shook her head yes.

  "That was me, Maggie. I was there. I was in an actual wheelchair, but for some reason, I couldn't get it to move forward, so I climbed out of the chair and crawled over to you and Jess and dug my nail into her calf as hard as I could to get her to let go of you.

  "Then there was another entry, I think when you were still in high school. You came home rip-roaring mad that someone named Amy Gokey called you a lesbo. You marched into your bedroom and threw yourself on the bed, right beside me and ranted that just because you weren't impressed with the grabby-feeling boys, and just because you liked to wear jeans and no makeup, that it didn't make you a lesbian. Do you remember that entry?"

  Maggie hugged herself and looked around the room with a panicked look on her face. "That was the day I realized I was attracted to women. Jordan you're scaring me. How did you get my diaries?"

  "I told you, I found them when I remodeled by bedroom, eighty four years from now. Maggie, I felt… and I still feel you were trying to reach me through those dreams. I don't know if it was the connection we have through our accidents, or maybe it's this house, but it was real and I became obsessed with you. Before long, I realized it wasn't obsession at all. I was falling in love with you. Imagine how I felt, falling in love with someone who died nearly one hundred years earlier.

  "Kale was convinced I had gone off the deep end. He was concerned that if the Spinal Institute discovered what was going on in my head, that they would decide I was too unstable to be the recipient of the second implant."

  "Jordan, this is just too far fetched and incredible to believe. I mean, it's 2019 and you're standing here in front of me, yet you claim you were born in 2073. How is that even possible?"

  "Kale made it possible. Kale and Andi. I will forever be in their debt. It's because of them that I am here today. It took four tries to get it right, but I finally made it in time to save you from falling over that cliff this morning."

  "And exactly what did they do to deserve such praise, Jordan?"

  "They sent me to you. They sent me back in time."

  "Oh, for crying out loud. How stupid do you think I am? Time travel? Seriously?" Maggie exclaimed.

  "I am being totally serious, Maggie. Why would I lie about something like that?"

  "I don't know. Maybe you do have an ulterior motive, just like Jan implied."

  "And what could that motive possibly be, huh? The farm? It'll be m
ine in another eighty-four years anyway. Maggie, I gave up everything to be here with you, including my best friends and a job that had the potential of helping millions of people. It was a huge risk that the implant could have been totally and permanently non-functional here, just like is was the first time I transferred, or it may have failed in some way after I arrived. That would have left me totally helpless and without a way to support myself. Hell, in this time in history, I don't even exist yet. I risked everything to get here in time to save you, Maggie."

  Maggie stood in front of Jordan, her hands defiantly perched on her hips. "Prove to me that I was supposed to die today, Jordan. Prove it to me. Then maybe, just maybe, there's a chance that I'll believe you."

  Jordan hung her head low and shook it side to side. "I can't prove it to you. The land records, your death certificate, the newspaper articles are all a part of the future. I didn't think to bring them with me. Hell, I'm not even sure they'd survive the transfer. All I have is knowledge, and the love I feel for you in my heart. I'm sorry that's not enough for you."

  Jordan stood by the fireplace with her hands shoved into her pockets as Maggie sat silently on the couch. Finally, Jordan spoke. "Maybe I should go," she said.

  "Maybe you should."

  Jordan nodded, and with a heavy heart, left the room.

  CHAPTER 14

  Maggie sat on the couch and listened to the sounds of Jordan rummaging around in their bedroom, presumably collecting her things. The emotions going through her heart were a mixture of fear, remorse and regret. Part of her wanted to go to Jordan and beg her to stay. The other part of her was terrified that Jordan had just spun this terrific, convoluted and unimaginable lie about who she was and where she comes from. Jordan's tale was just too incredible to believe, yet there were parts of the story that Maggie couldn't deny.

  What she said about my diaries was true. How could she have known about my encounter with Jess if she hadn't read about it? She must have stolen my diaries then repaired the wall. It's behind the dresser after all. I would never even know unless I moved the furniture.