The Secret Diaries Of Miss Anne Lister

by Helena Whitbread

  Sunday 18 May [York]

  Down to breakfast at 9¼. At 9¾, set off to the Minster to hear the dean preach. Overtook the Misses Mary & Henrietta Crompton. Wished to have passed them but they called me. I had purposely gone on the other side of the street. We all went together. Got seats just under the pulpit. The chaunting beautiful. The dean preached 25 minutes, from John XIV.25, 26. A most excellent sermon, appropriate to the day & very finely delivered. Walked home with the Cromptons. Left my prayer book at Miss Marsh’s & went to the Cromptons’ to wait for them, to go to see Hardman’s (the druggist’s) show of tulips in his garden at Bishophill. Staid there with the Cromptons some time… & then went over the bridge to the Belcombes’… & Miss Marsh & I walked home together… Miss Marsh observed Anne was rather huffy to me. I rallied [her] about it. She said she acted from principle. My Micklegate friends spoilt me – puffed me up with vanity. In fact, Anne is jealous & I am not [at] all attentive to her.

  Monday 19 May [York]

  Called on Mrs Willey to ask her to let me have her carriage… Went to offer Mrs Best a seat in the carriage. Went to her in bed. She gladly accepted. Then went to the Belcombes’ to take leave of Mrs Belcombe & Anne, going to Scarbro’ tomorrow… Anne is certainly a little jealous. Says she knows me well enough. I never talk to her when I can get anything prettier or better. Both she & Eli seemed to think I had not been much there, tho’ Eli has really been very good-humoured to me… Crossed the water… Found Mrs G. Crompton ½ hour dressing for the race-stand. Mrs Best, Miss Marsh & I set off at 1.40. Several ladies there. Lady Milne & her family; Mrs Wynyard & ditto… Talked chiefly to the Misses Henrietta & Mary. Lost 2 shilling bets to each of them & one shilling in a lottery. Mr Gilbert Crompton’s horse, Barefoot, (entered in Mr Watson’s name) won the last race. Miss Mary Crompton asked for my profile… Henrietta said… I had an odd trick of looking at people when I spoke to them, & looked her out of countenance. In fact, she is flattered by my attention & likes me. Surely, when I look round, I do not see all people pleasanter companions than myself… We saw the last race & got home at 5¼… In the evening Mr Duffin & Miss Marsh played écarté & I dozed. Fine day but no sun. Coldish on the stand.

  Wednesday 21 May [York]

  At 11.30, Mr Duffin & I went over the bridge to Barr, the sadler’s, to look at my saddle… Paid for my saddle at Barr’s (£6 6s.) & bought 2 pairs long white French kid gloves. Sent them… to Mary & Henrietta because they said they forgot & would not take two shilling bets I lost on Monday… Got a pot of cocoa-paste & gave it to Jameson as we returned.

  Thursday 22 May [Halifax]

  My father met me at the inn at Halifax… George gone to Atherton fair with the black mare… Musing, as I came along, about the Cromptons. William was at the inn with the cart & my father. ‘What a shockingly vulgar concern,’ said I to myself. My heart almost sickened. How, thought I, can I think of the Cromptons? Am I not foolish to have begun an intimacy with people so near me, within twelve miles? But yet I am glad to be at home again. I am at liberty at all events. There is no ill-twined Mr Duffin to snub & control me. Surely, in due season, I may have all things better. But God’s will be done.

  Friday 23 May [Halifax]

  At 3.50, it having been fair for the last hour, set off riding… Hotspur carried me very well, tho’ I found it was time I should ride him again myself. George must have whipped him when he stumbled, from his darting forward when he stumbled, as if afraid. The saddle was so unsteady I left it in passing (as I returned) at Furniss’s, to get more stuffing put into it. Got home at 5.30 (having walked from Halifax) & stood by, while George dressed Hotspur, three-quarters of an hour.

  Tuesday 27 May [Halifax]

  Wrote a note of inquiry after Miss Pickford, begging her to give my condolences & compliments to Mrs Wilcock on the death of her husband, who died this day week & was buried this morning.

  Thursday 29 May [Halifax]

  Went down to dinner at 6. My father & Marian had been here an hour. They staid tea & till a little after 8. They are a forlorn looking pair & none of us scarce know what to say to either of them.

  Sunday 1 June [Halifax]

  Note from Miss Pickford (Savile-hill, Halifax) excusing herself for not having answered mine sooner. Meant to have sent a servant over. Obliged, at last, to put it into the post office. Mrs Wilcock paricularly wishes her not to be seen at either of the Halifax churches, or at Sowerby Bridge, lest any acquaintances should call. Therefore, she is to go to Southowram. Says, ‘I fear it may yet be some time ere I have the pleasure to see you, unless you ever chance to go to Southowram church. Mrs Wilcock ‘better than she was last week & more composed.’ Perhaps she will not like Miss Pickford’s going to Southowram church. If so, Miss Pickford had better have staid quietly at home. It would have been better to have done so, at all rates… At 5.50, a loud rap & who should come in but Miss Pickford. She had been at Southowram church in the morning… She staid about 10 minutes. She certainly likes me & pays me a sort of deference. Odd enough from someone so much older than myself. Neat gros de Naples silk mourning & bonnet & she looked better, more feminine than in her habit.

  Tuesday 3 June [Halifax]

  At 11, took George in the gig & drove the black mare to Lightcliffe. Very glad I went. Sat an hour with Mrs W. Priestley. Her friend, Miss Grisdale, in bed with a little cold… Miss Grisdale has only one hundred a year. Makes it do by living on her friends that Mrs Priestley will not send her off. It is a sort of charity to keep her & she stands on no ceremony with her.

  Wednesday 4 June [Halifax]

  A ½ sheet note from Miss Pickford… ‘Did I see you upon the moor, where occasionally, by day, I breathe the fresh air, notwithstanding the respect to etiquette, I should venture to walk up & speak to you, perchance observe your horse, & comment thereon. The desire to see which, & the rider perchance might make me so informal as to breathe mountain air when I might be most likely to have a sight of you – could I guess the likeliest time for such rencontre!…’ Miss Pickford called at 7.50. Took her into the stables to see Hotspur… I daresay knowing me is a godsend to Miss Pickford. She can be more companionable than anyone here, but she is too masculine & if she runs after me too much, I shall tire. Her manners are singular. Sometimes she seems a little swing-about. She is all openness to me about her sister.

  Thursday 5 June [Halifax]

  At 8.25, mounted Hotspur. Rode him down the calf-croft an hour. Rode in my greatcoat, the first time, instead of my habit… Down the old bank, up Horton St. to Crossley’s, to leave him my false curls to do up.

  Sunday 22 June [Halifax]

  From 1 to 2¼, walked on the terrass [sic]. My aunt sauntered with me ½ hour, vexed that I was so by the new roadside not being limed far enough. It would only be a few years & then I would have all as I liked. She is very good to me. Will give me more money after the rent day. I daily, more & more, see my importance at home… About 5½, Mr Wiglesworth came & staid tea. He was at Ilkley the Saturday after we were – left his little granddaughter there for the benefit of her eyes. The spouting them, as they call it, with the waters had an astonishingly good effect even the 3rd day. The child is boarded with the people who rent the well & live 2 or 3 hundred yards from the church.

  Tuesday 24 June [Halifax]

  At 10.40, off to Halifax on Hotspur. Rode thro’ the shews, etc, to the post office. George put in my letter to Isabella… then rode thro’ the horse-fair in Harrison-lane & thence to Savile hill (Mrs Wilcock’s) to call on Miss Pickford. Had the horses walked about & sat an hour with her. Presently came Mrs Wilcock to us (in the drawing-room). Then came the 2 Misses Preston of Greenroyde. I came away almost immediately after them. (Mrs Wilcock looked rather more like a gentlewoman, or less like the contrary, than I have ever seen her before. She was quiet, tho’ very civil & her weeds became her)… Rode thro’ the horse-fair again. Nothing there worth looking at.

  Thursday 26 June [Halifax]

  At 10½, mounted Hotspur… & got to Haugh-e
nd at 11¾… The Astleys expected next Thursday. I declined dining there the following day because Mrs Priestley of White Windows would be there. Promised to dine there the week following, but declined to call on Lady Astley because it was not in my power to shew her any civility at Shibden, & because my calling would oblige her to return the call, & our road was so bad, etc. I thought it best to explain the matter to Lady Astley, to make my speech & there let it rest. Mrs Priestley agreed, but I think she had thought of them coming here. She said it was a nice old place. Sir John would like to see it. Regretted they could not have much company to meet them. There was nobody to ask – engaged one way or other.

  Friday 27 June [Halifax]

  Went into the stable immediately. Gave Hotspur & Percy their corn, & the mare a little to keep her quiet. In ¼ hour turned them both, the 2 first, into the field & came upstairs again at 6.10. In the stable at 7. George had turned out the black mare. Ordered her to be brought up again to go in the gig after breakfast. I had told Cordingley last night to tell him to leave the key of the corn bin with the door key. He told her he should be up as soon as I should, & he did not leave it. I told him this morning to do as he was desired another time… At breakfast at 9.40. At 10½, set off with the black mare in the gig. Drove my aunt to Halifax. Set her down at Miss Ibbetson’s shop & took up George (who had walked by the side)… then drove to the moor, ¾ hour there driving about, teaching the mare to turn to the right. On returning from the moor, drove to Lowe, the taylor’s, to have George measured for a new suit of livery. Then drove to the Saltmarshes’ & sent George with the gig to wait at Northgate. Sat ¼ hour with Mrs Saltmarshe & her mother, Mrs Rawson. Mrs Saltmarshe looks well. The child (a little girl, born Thursday 12 June) a fine, large one. Hot cordial brought in coffee cups, & plum cake sugared like bride-cake, & biscuits & dry toast… On going to Northgate, persuaded my aunt, & my father joined us, to go & look at some of the shews. Walked past them all & went to the theatre (admittance, 2/– each) to see the panorama of the coronation of George 4, & of the Battle of Trafalgar & death of Lord Nelson. This kept us above an hour – well enough worth seeing.

  Tuesday 1 July [Halifax]

  Turned the horses out immediately. At 7¼, set off to walk, after having been ¼ hour in the cowhouse & about… Called at Lightcliffe to speak to Mrs W. Priestley about some grey cloth to cover the hall floor. Sat ¼ hour with them (during their breakfast). Mrs W. Priestley walked back with me as far as Whitehall. I turned with her, & she again with me, as far as German house… Miss Grisdale wondered what we could find to talk about. I think she may possibly be a little jealous. Got home at 10. Breakfasted at 11.

  Thursday 3 July [Halifax]

  Sent for Chas. Howarth to speak to him about repairing the new stables. He is to come on Monday. My errand to Northowram this morning was to desire Mrs Wood, the leech-woman, to come this evening at 6 & bring a dozen leeches to apply to my back… Came upstairs at 6 to prepare for the bleeding… In bed at 7.40. The leechwoman, Jane Rotheroe (daughter to Mrs Wood, who is from home) came upstairs immediately & put 12 leeches on my back, from the bottom to 5 or 6 inches upwards. It was 1¾ hour (9½) before the last leech was taken off & I was very much tired of lying so long in one position. The blood drawn by the midway leeches (one in particular on the left side) was very black & thick, the woman said. The blood of the topmost leeches was the best. The places bled very much after the leeches fell off, which was, from 1st to last, ½ hour, that those which had been on the shortest while, had been on 1¼ hour. After they were all off, had an oatmeal poultice (hot) applied & kept on 20 minutes. Then felt tired & weakened. Dozed myself into rather disturbed sleep about 11.

  Friday 4 July [Halifax]

  Bled a good deal in the night. Felt weak & languid… Down to breakfast at 12. Attempted a turn or 2 on the terrace but soon came in & upstairs at 1½… In the evening, my father & Marian came. Would not say I had been bled. But said I was very sleepy &, after staying with them about 5 or 10 minutes, came up to bed at 7.50.

  Saturday 5 July [Halifax]

  I could not walk… on account [of] fridging [sic] the leech-bites, which itched exceedingly all the while I was downstairs, the minute I was unemployed… Sent for a blister today, at Suter’s.

  Sunday 6 July [Halifax]

  The blister had doubled up this morning & had only blistered one side. Very uncomfortable. Had it unfolded, respread & put on again. Sat up to breakfast & afterwards all the day, in my dressing gown & greatcoat… My blister had run thro’ greatcoat & everything. Very uncomfortable… Went to bed a little after 5. Had my blister dressed at 6. Put on my greatcoat & went down to dinner at 6½.

  Monday 7 July [Halifax]

  My back very sore but would have no more dressing with ointment. Sponged it well with cold water. Put a dry piece of linen next it & dressed… In the evening… bathed my back with urine with my hand, having first sponged it with cold water, & put a little tallow on.

  Wednesday 9 July [Halifax]

  In the gig to set off to Haugh-end at 11.50… Mrs H. Priestley & her sister, Lady Astley, Sir John, the son & daughter & Major Priestley being all gone to call at Thorpe, I drove after them, sent George back to Haugh-end with the gig, & walked back myself with the party… All went into the breakfast room to luncheon. Sir John & I seemed to talk for them all. He acknowledged keeping a journal. So did I, & we promised not to note down anything against each other. Made bleeding & blistering an excuse for only taking a morning dress. Sat down to dinner at 6 instead of 5½. George waited in his new livery that came home on Saturday… Coffee at 8. Came away at 9¼ & got home at 10.20… Sir John Astley is a large, good-tempered, good-countenanced, talkative man, rather aping humour, gentlemanly enough but nothing particular. Likes to talk of his contested election for the county of Wiltshire, and of his seat in Parliament, & of the House of Commons in general. Said he liked everybody & everything he saw here… laid aside all his hauteur here. He quizzed & teased his daughter a little too much about putting an oyster shell down her back & played up the word sauce she made use of at dinner, saying he had too much of it (too much of her sauce) already. We had just been talking of Paris & French cookery, & I could not help observing that, ‘Sir John is piquante; ’tis French sauce, not English.’ I think he made no attempt at wit of this sort afterwards… Lady Astley is quiet & by this means escapes vulgarity. She told me of my being ‘so clever’. The Knight-of-the-Shireship had evidently not brought them into society in London as yet. She told me all the gents of the House of Commons knew each other quite well, but that did not at all apply to their wives. She thought it ought. Sir John was present. I talked of the caprices of society, admitting some & not others. All depends on our début – whether we happened to take with them, etc. He agreed & seemed to speak from some home-felt experience. I do not think his wife & daughter will ever shine much. Lady Astley told me that the honourable Mrs Wandsford, wife to the lieutenant-colonel commanding the Wiltshire militia (the regiment in which Sir John was captain & is still major) was a great disadvantage to them. Jealous because they could return civilities & she could not – prevented people calling on them. Said they were shy & did not wish for company. I smiled in [my] sleeve to hear Sir John tell Major Priestley he would not like to leave his regiment (the 2nd West York) even if it was called out again into action. He ‘would not like to lose his rank’. Militia rank! Young Astley, Frank (Francis) aged 17, 6ft one inch, is a fine looking gentlemanly young man, far the best of the party, but Lady Astley regretted that he had been unlucky in his schools. Told me a long history about them. He had laid aside Greek & knew little of Latin, but he had a private tutor & is going to Christ Church, Oxford. Miss Astley, older than her brother, say 18, seems a good-humoured girl. Rather littlish; not thin. Neither pretty nor much like a gentlewoman. Says ‘Ma’am’ almost every time she answers a lady. Her face a little broke out. The Astleys were in mourning. Perhaps they looked the better for it… What a dose of the Astleys!

  Thursday 10 July
[Halifax]

  Got home at 1.50. Found Mr & Mrs Stansfield Rawson here. Came in Mr William Rawson’s gig with perpendicular wheels, looking very ill from behind.

  Friday 11 July [Halifax]

  Miss Pickford came at 6¾… staid with us till about 9… I talked rather more nonsensically last night. She owned to growing a little romantic now & then. Surprised me by hinting that Miss Threlfall would, perhaps, be jealous of me &, altogether, it absolutely occurred to me that, if I chose it, I could even make a fool of Miss Pickford. My aunt observes she looks at me as if she was very fond of me. She certainly softens down a little with me & flatters me both in word & action in every way she can.

  Saturday 12 July [Halifax]

  Could not sleep last night. Dozing, hot & disturbed… a violent longing for a female companion came over me. Never remember feeling it so painfully before… It was absolute pain to me.

  Monday 14 July [Halifax]

  Letter from Miss Marsh (Micklegate, York)… wants me to subscribe 5/– for a book of poems written by a young woman reduced from affluence to great poverty for whom Mr Marsh [Miss Marsh’s brother] is much interested. He corrects the press… Called on Miss Pickford (for a dress she had lent my aunt to look at)… She told me the manner in which I had spoken of Miss Threlfall on Friday evening had rather bothered her. I think, from her manner, she had something in her head about my alluding to a particular connection between [them], which she seemed to wish to contradict. I said she took my meaning too far, but I would be more careful in future. I certainly did allude to this but so covertly, I can talk it off.