Too Much of a Good Thing

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, girl, how’s it going?” Mariah said.

  “I’m good. But the question is, how are you?”

  “Actually, I’m feeling a little strange.”

  “Really? And why is that?”

  “I finally decided to take your advice.”

  “About what?”

  “I finally decided to leave him.”

  “Well, good for you, Mariah.”

  “I know he’ll never allow me to move out while he’s here, so as soon as he leaves the house on Monday, I’ll be packing my things.”

  “Will you need any help?”

  “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

  “You know it’s not a problem. All I have to do is request a vacation day.”

  “I really appreciate that.”

  “Nothing happened tonight, did it?” Vivian asked. “Curtis didn’t try to hurt you, did he?”

  “No. Actually, I haven’t heard from him since he left this morning.”

  “Then what made you decide all of a sudden?”

  “I’m just tired. I can’t explain it, but I’m really tired.”

  “And you should be, because no one should have to put up with the shit Curtis is doing.”

  “I know, but the sad thing is, I still love him. Even after he said he didn’t love me and that he could never be in love with me.”

  “But that’s understandable, because you’ve loved him since the beginning.”

  “Maybe, but it’s not a good feeling. And I hate being in love with someone who doesn’t care one thing about me. Someone who doesn’t care about anybody except himself.”

  “Well, I’m just glad you didn’t stop taking those birth control pills.”

  “Yeah, I am, too,” Mariah said, wishing things could have turned out differently between her and Curtis.

  “So are you going to be okay until next week?”

  “I’m sure I will. For the last two nights he’s been watching television down in the family room and sleeping there until morning. So I’m hoping he keeps doing that until I leave.”

  “Okay, but you call me if you need me.”

  “You know I will.”

  “Take care, girl.”

  “You, too.”

  Mariah hung up and glanced over at all the cosmetics sitting atop her built-in vanity. She had a lot of packing to do, but for the most part she was only going to take what she needed. Especially since she didn’t know if Curtis would eventually try to reconcile with her or if she’d be leaving here for good. But if the latter was the case, she would come back for the rest of her things later.

  She leaned farther back onto the pillows and closed her eyes. She thought about the first day she’d met Curtis, the first time he’d asked her out, the day he’d proposed on Navy Pier. She even thought about the beautiful wedding gown and how proud she was to be wearing it. But none of those memories mattered now, because her marriage was practically over.

  She thought about her life in general, but the more she did, the more pain she felt. The more tears she shed. The more times she wished she’d never met Curtis. She loved and hated him all at once, and for the first time in her life she wished harm on another human being. She wished it on her own husband and refused to apologize for it.

  She was wiping her face when she heard Curtis coming up the stairs. She didn’t want him seeing her like this, and she hoped he wasn’t going to bother her.

  “Mariah, we need to talk,” he said, sitting down on the opposite side of her at the foot of the bed.

  She looked at him but didn’t say anything.

  “Hey, what are you crying about?”

  “Nothing.”

  “It’s not about us, is it?”

  “No,” she lied.

  “Good, because I know I haven’t been the best husband to you lately, and I’m really sorry about that. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve put you through.”

  Mariah was baffled and wondered where he was going with this.

  “And as much as I hate admitting it, I just don’t think we should stay married,” he said.

  “What?” Mariah said. She knew she’d heard every word he said, but she was still shocked by it. And she didn’t know how to feel, either.

  “I thought about everything I was going to say when I was driving home, but I think it’ll be best if I just tell you the truth.”

  Mariah sat up a little taller and braced herself. She didn’t know what he was about to say, but she sensed it wasn’t going to be good.

  “You remember when I told you that I never loved you, and that I only married you because of the church? Well, even though I said it in anger, it’s true.”

  He might as well have shoved a dagger through her heart. She’d heard him when he’d said it on Saturday, but the truth was a lot easier to take during an argument. It was a lot more painful when the person wasn’t angry, because then you knew he was telling the truth. You knew he wasn’t speaking illogically.

  “I can’t believe you did this to me,” she said. “I can’t believe you would use me like this.”

  “I know, and I’m very sorry.”

  “Well, what are you suggesting we do?”

  “I think we need to file for a divorce. I know I told you I would never let you leave me because I didn’t want to lose the church, but now I realize I don’t have a right to control you like this. And I’ve also figured out a way to make it happen quickly.”

  “Meaning what?” she asked.

  “Meaning, the only way the board will approve of me getting a divorce is if you admit you slept with another man.”

  “What?” she said, frowning. “But I haven’t.”

  “I know, but it’s the only way we can both get what we want. You can move out of here, and I’ll be able to keep my position at the church.”

  “You can’t be serious?”

  “Of course I am. It’s the only way.”

  “So you’re saying you want me to ruin my reputation so that you can keep your church?”

  “Not just that. Because you’ll be able to go on with your life, too. And it’s not like a lot of people will have to know about this.”

  “Curtis, there are over three thousand people at that church. And all of those people know other people here in Chicago and everywhere else.”

  “Yeah, but after a while it’ll die down, and no one will even remember. I mean, even you didn’t know I was ousted from Faith until I told you. So if that died down, this will, too.”

  “No,” she said matter-of-factly.

  “What do you mean, no?”

  “I’m not doing that,” she said, standing up and walking away from the bed.

  “But you know it’s the only way,” he said, turning in her direction.

  “Well, I’m sorry, but I won’t lie about something I haven’t done.”

  “Then what do you expect us to do?”

  “You say you could never love me, so there’s no other choice but to end this. But I’m not taking the blame for it.”

  “And I’m not losing my church either, Mariah. I told you that before.”

  “Well, maybe you need to tell them the truth.”

  “No, you’re going to do what I told you.” Curtis stood up.

  Mariah didn’t like the expression on his face and backed away from him.

  “I told you that I would never let you or anyone else cause me to lose another church, and I meant that,” he said. “So you might as well get ready to meet with those deacons.”

  He grabbed her arm. “Do you hear me?”

  “I told you I won’t do that.”

  “Of course you will,” he said, grabbing her tightly by her throat.

  Mariah was terrified, and now she wished she’d made the decision to leave before today.

  “Curtis, please stop it.”

  “Not until you do what I say.”

  She knew she could never lie about something this serious, but she told him what he wanted
to hear so he would let her go.

  “Okay,” she said. “I’ll talk to them.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he said, releasing her. “Crazy bitch.”

  Mariah wondered if he’d lost his mind.

  “Curtis, you know this isn’t right. You know I deserve to be treated better than this.”

  He laughed. “I see that big Amazon is still pumping you up, isn’t she? But it doesn’t matter. You know why? Because regardless of what you look like now, there’s still a fat-ass woman inside you just screamin’ to get out.”

  Curtis strode out of the room, totally dismissing her, but she heard him mutter, “Got me cursing in here like this.”

  Mariah had never felt more humiliated or more deflated in her life. She’d never had anyone speak to her so maliciously. She’d loved, honored, and, yes, obeyed him just like he wanted, and she despised him for doing this to her.

  Then, to add insult to injury, he wanted her to go to the deacons. He wanted her to lie to them.

  It would be over her dead body.

  Chapter 24

  There were two people Curtis needed to speak to this morning. Alicia, to see how she was doing and to tell her he loved her. Adrienne, to apologize and make sure she wasn’t planning to do anything foolish.

  He called his daughter first.

  “Hello?” Tanya answered.

  “Hi. You mean Alicia is actually letting you answer her phone?” Curtis said as amiably as possible. He’d had confrontations with both Mariah and Adrienne last night, and Lord knows he didn’t want one with Tanya.

  “She’s in the bathroom, but she still wouldn’t have answered it because she’s not feeling too well,” she said.

  “Is she in pain or something?”

  “No, she’s just not feeling well emotionally. She had another nightmare about that Julian.”

  “What do you mean another one?”

  “She had the first one two days ago, and I’m sure it’s because she had to see him in that lineup. And then it happened again last night.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked.

  “No, the question is, why didn’t you call me?”

  “Because I spoke to Alicia directly yesterday morning.”

  “Well, you should be calling me, Curtis, if you want to know how she’s doing. Alicia is only a child, and she’s not going to tell you anything she doesn’t want you to know.”

  “Have you heard anything else from the detective?” he asked, changing the subject. He just couldn’t argue with Tanya today.

  “He called a while ago to see if Alicia could tell him anything else that might help their case. Because what they’re trying to do is find other girls he met on-line and may have raped.”

  “Well, I don’t know why they keep bothering her, because they already have more than enough proof to convict him for statutory rape and drug possession. They told us that when we were in there.”

  “Maybe, but since that Julian has hired one of the best defense attorneys in the city, they want to charge him with as many counts as they can.”

  “So do you think Alicia needs to go to counseling for this?”

  “As a matter of fact, the social worker at the hospital gave me a list of psychologists and Dr. Pulliam was on there. So I called and scheduled an appointment for this afternoon.”

  Curtis was fuming. He was sure that if he hadn’t called, Tanya never would have told him about the call from the detective, the nightmares, or the counseling appointment. But he was willing to bet that James knew about everything.

  “Well, you will let me know how it goes, won’t you?” he asked.

  “Of course. And Alicia just came out of the bathroom if you want to speak to her.”

  “I do.”

  “Honey, it’s your dad,” Curtis heard Tanya say.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, baby girl.”

  “Hi.”

  “I heard you’re not feeling too well today.”

  “No.”

  “Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “No.”

  These one-word answers were trying his patience.

  “You are praying to God, asking for strength, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “And you do know how much He loves you, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re not just saying that, are you?”

  “No.” She sounded irritated.

  “Well, if you need me, call me. And I’ll try to get by there after I leave the church, okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “I love you, baby girl.”

  “Bye,” she said, and hung up the phone.

  Curtis felt a tug in his heart. He’d tried to play down this whole rape situation so he wouldn’t fall to pieces. He’d also tried not to be angry with God. Because no matter how he analyzed it, he couldn’t understand why God had allowed this to happen. Why He’d allowed something so demoralizing and unsettling to happen to his daughter. But he knew this had nothing to do with God and everything to do with Satan. Satan was angry because he hadn’t been able to keep Curtis out of the ministry and was now trying to attack him from a different angle. He was even attacking Mariah and Adrienne, and that’s why they were suddenly being so difficult. But what Satan didn’t seem to realize was that Curtis was a child of God and that he would never be able to compete with that.

  Curtis signed a few letters for Whitney, made a few business calls, and contemplated how he should approach Adrienne. When he’d figured out what to do, he called her.

  “Baby, please don’t hang up,” he said quickly when she answered.

  “Why would I do that, Curtis? I love you, remember?”

  He didn’t know whether to take this bubbly tone of hers seriously or not.

  “All I want is a chance to explain.”

  “It’s really not necessary. You told me that you wanted to see your son and that you didn’t sleep with his mother, and I’m fine with that. As a matter of fact, I apologize for blowing up the way I did. I was wrong for not trusting you.”

  He couldn’t tell whether she was being genuine or sarcastic.

  “And I was wrong for lying the way I did,” he finally said.

  “Don’t even worry about it. I forgive you, Curtis.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, because you were pretty upset last night.”

  “I know. But let’s not talk about that anymore, because I want to hear about your son.”

  This was simply too good to be true.

  “I can’t even explain it,” he said, beaming.

  “I’ll bet it was an experience you won’t ever forget.”

  “I won’t, and he’s such a good kid. And so handsome, too.”

  “Just like his father, huh?”

  “If you say so.”

  See, that’s what he loved about Adrienne. She was always so supportive of everything he did. She’d always been that way, and he was sorry that he was going to have to disappoint her again by marrying someone else.

  “So tell me,” she said, “are we still on for tonight?”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “So, are we?” she repeated.

  He knew the best thing to tell her was that they couldn’t see each other anymore, but without hesitation he said, “What time?”

  “You still have your meeting with the deacons, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I do. But I should be out around seven.”

  “Then what about eight?”

  “That’ll be fine.”

  “At Tyler’s?”

  “No, I think he’s going to be there himself tonight, so unfortunately we’ll have to meet at the hotel.”

  “Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you then. Take care,” she said, and hung up.

  This was certainly a turn of events, and Curtis was thrilled about it. He didn’t know why she’d had such a change of
heart, but who was he to question it? Who was he to question any blessing that God had bestowed upon him?

  He smiled at his latest thought and picked up a copy of the meeting agenda Whitney had typed earlier. This time things were going to be different, and he could hardly wait. He looked forward to hearing how supportive “Andy” and “Barney” were going to be when he re-presented his ideas. They would agree to everything he said or Curtis would sing like a Grammy winner. He would tell everything he knew about both of them, and they would regret ever knowing him.

  Curtis leaned back in his chair and went to work on his next sermon.

  “Good evening, everyone,” Deacon Gulley the chairman said, and everyone greeted him in unison.

  “Deacon Taylor, would you like to lead us in prayer?”

  Curtis would have to thank Deacon Taylor properly for getting him that information so quickly.

  “Sure. May we bow our heads,” Deacon Taylor said, doing the same. “Dear Heavenly Father, we come right now just thanking You for another day. We thank You for waking us up this morning and for keeping us safe. Lord, we thank You for all the blessings You’ve given this great church and for making Pastor Black such a dynamic leader. So, Lord, today we just thank You for everything. We thank You for all that You’ve done and all that You’re getting ready to do. And, Lord, if you would, please open our hearts and our minds during this meeting. Please let us work toward doing Your will and not the will of our own. Father, these and many other blessings I ask in your son Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  “Amen,” everyone said.

  “It looks like we have a few items to cover on the agenda,” the chairman began. “But before we do, I have a package here that is addressed to me and the deacon board of Truth Missionary Baptist Church. It was in my mail slot, but it must have been dropped off because there’s no mailing address or postage on it.”

  Curtis wondered which member was unhappy now. The last anonymous letter they’d received had complained about how much time announcement reading was taking at the end of service. The one before that had complained about the location of the church picnic. Curtis hoped this one wasn’t going to be just as petty.

  “So let’s see here,” Deacon Gulley said, opening the envelope and pulling out a letter.

  Curtis thought he would faint when he saw him pull out a cassette tape right along with it. Everyone else either frowned in surprise or leaned forward to get a closer look.