Too Much of a Good Thing

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Well, I don’t know what this is, but I’m sure this letter is going to tell us,” Deacon Gulley said, preparing to read it out loud. “Dear Chairman and other members of the board, It is with great regret that I write you this letter. Please know that I am not proud of what I have been doing, but I now feel obligated to tell you that I have been sleeping with your pastor for the past few weeks. Yes, I have been sexually involved with the man you appointed senior pastor of Truth Missionary Baptist Church. I have slept with him at hotels as well as other locations, and he has even made a commitment to marry me. He told me that he was going to divorce his wife so that we could be together permanently. But yesterday when I saw him with the mother of his illegitimate son, I realized that your pastor is the same manipulative, lying hypocrite he was when he was pastor over at Faith. And while I do not mean any disrespect to you as a church, I must say I was very shocked that you would hire a minister who has a reputation like Curtis Black. But at the same time, I do understand how easy it must have been for you to believe in him, because Lord knows I did. I believed him when he said he loved me, I believed him when he said he couldn’t live without me, and I almost believed that he actually was going to marry me—this time. And I wasn’t sure why until I finally had to admit that Curtis has this insane emotional hold on me. It’s so insane that I can’t even explain it to myself. But by now you must know how smooth and slick he is. Because based on what he’s told me, your board gave him a deal of a lifetime. Five thousand per week, a huge housing allowance, and that Cadillac he proudly drives around in. It’s almost as if no one has the ability to say no to him. But even though I still love Curtis, the good news is I’m finally finished with him. I know what he’s capable of, and that he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Which is why I took the liberty of recording our little reunion. A tape has been enclosed for your listening pleasure.”

  “This is totally outrageous,” Curtis blurted out.

  The board members looked back and forth at one another. Then they all fixed their gazes on Curtis.

  “Can’t you see that this is from some crazy woman?”

  “Well, if that’s true, then what do you think is on this tape?” Deacon Gulley asked.

  “I don’t know. Probably more lies.”

  Curtis was beside himself. He wanted to murder Adrienne.

  “Well, I think we need to hear what’s on it,” Deacon Gulley said, standing up and walking toward the portable stereo system on the other side of the room.

  “I’m telling you none of this is true,” Curtis protested.

  “But now that we have the tape in our possession, I think it’s only right that we listen to it,” Deacon Evans said.

  “I agree,” Deacon Pryor added, but neither of them looked at Curtis.

  It was amazing how he’d had to force comments from them at the last meeting, but now they were willingly speaking up.

  Deacon Gulley pressed the play button and all twenty-four men gave their undivided attention.

  The first thing they heard Curtis say was, “Oh dear God. That’s what I’m talking about.” Then they heard lots of moaning and groaning and Curtis telling Adrienne that he didn’t want her having sex with her own husband anymore.

  At least ten of the deacons tried to muzzle their laughter. The others looked gravely disappointed. Deacon Taylor looked as though he’d entered the Twilight Zone.

  Curtis tuned out the next few lines of dialogue and tried to decide if he should flee the room. But he realized it was best to stay put and act natural. He gazed toward the ceiling as if he was bored.

  “No one has ever come close to giving me the pleasure you do,” Curtis’s voice rang out from the tape. “And Mariah has got to be the worst I’ve ever had.”

  Curtis scanned the room to see how everyone was reacting and then heard Adrienne continue.

  “Curtis, I ask you again, what are we doing? What am I doing to myself?”

  “You’re spending time with the man you love, I’m spending time with the woman I love, and that’s all that matters.”

  “I hate this. I hate that we’re about to start all this sneaking around again. I almost lost everything last time, so you have to be very sure about this. You have to be positive that you’re going to divorce Mariah in six months, and that I’m going to be your wife.”

  “Baby, all you have to do is trust me, because I’m really serious this time. I’m really going to marry you.”

  That was the end of the tape and Deacon Gulley stopped it and returned to his seat.

  “Pastor, what were you thinking?” he asked.

  “I wasn’t thinking anything, because that wasn’t me.”

  “But you know that that was clearly your voice we just heard.”

  “No. It wasn’t. I’m not sure who it was, but it certainly wasn’t me.”

  “You must think we’re just plain idiots,” Deacon Thurgood said.

  “Look, Deacon, don’t make me tell this board about your little mishap back in ’58,” Curtis threatened.

  “Boy, you go right ahead and tell ’em whatever you want, ’cause I’m not about to be bullied by some jackleg minister.”

  “Pastor, you make me ashamed to even know you,” Deacon Winslow said.

  Curtis felt himself losing leverage, and now he knew he could forget about trying to blackmail the two deacons.

  “I just don’t wanna believe this,” Deacon Pryor said.

  “But I keep telling all of you, that wasn’t me.”

  “Then who was it?” Deacon Evans asked. “And why did it sound just like you?”

  “I have no idea. And all this means is that somebody is trying to set me up. They’re trying to do the same thing they did to me when I was still over at Faith.”

  Most of the deacons exchanged blank stares and Curtis knew they didn’t believe him.

  “This is all a little too much for us to digest right now, so I say we adjourn and plan on meeting again tomorrow,” Deacon Gulley said. “I know we don’t usually meet on Fridays, but I think this meeting is very necessary.”

  “This is so uncalled for,” Curtis said. “And I can’t believe that any of you would sit here and take some outsider’s word over mine. Some lunatic female.”

  “Well, it’s not like we can just overlook something like this, and I think it would be best if you stayed out of the pulpit until further notice.”

  “Are you saying you’re suspending me?”

  “We really don’t have any other choice. And the most I can say is that we’ll try to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. It would help if we could meet with this woman.”

  Curtis searched the room trying to find one of those able lieutenants Cletus had talked about, but he knew he didn’t have any. He could tell by their faces. Some looked shocked, some looked angry, some looked as if they didn’t care one way or the other. Curtis was also disappointed with Deacon Taylor. He hadn’t said one word in Curtis’s defense. Which wouldn’t have been so terrible except, he was supposed to be Curtis’s friend. He was supposed to be his partner in crime and loyal confidant. But it just went to show, a person really couldn’t trust anyone except himself.

  Curtis stood and walked out of the conference room.

  He couldn’t believe how caring Adrienne had sounded on the phone this morning when she knew she was planning to betray him. He was disappointed in himself for allowing her to do it.

  He wasn’t sure how he was going to convince the board of his innocence, but he would. He would find a way, because he had no intention of losing another church.

  He had no intention of starting from scratch all over again.

  Chapter 25

  Man, how am I going to handle this?” Curtis asked Tyler. He’d tried to keep his cool, but the farther he drove away from the church, the more nervous he became. Normally he would never discuss his relationship troubles with anyone, because he was his own man. But he knew he had to be very careful this time and needed all the advice he co
uld get.

  “First of all, you have to stay calm,” Tyler said. “You can’t let them think for one minute that you’re afraid of them.”

  “I’m trying, but you should have seen the looks on their faces when they heard that tape. I mean, they actually heard me having sex with Adrienne. And I have to tell you, man, I never would have expected something like this from her.”

  “Maybe, but it’s always been my experience that you can’t trust any woman you’re having an affair with. It’s even worse for men like you and me because we’re ministers. And unfortunately, most people thrive on trying to bring us down. They have no respect for God’s disciples.”

  “You’re right about that, because look at all the books and magazine articles that do nothing except bash ministers. It’s almost like they’ve been hired by Satan.”

  “Well, you know the devil is always busy, and he’ll do anything to stop the preaching of God’s Word.”

  “That he will.”

  “But what I think you should do is first go home and tell Mariah about everything that happened, but stick to your story. You have to categorically deny everything, no matter how much she or the deacons try to corner you. You have to deny that tape recording until the end.”

  “I’m already a step ahead of you on that, because I will never admit that I’ve been seeing Adrienne again.”

  “And then the next thing you have to do is beg Mariah to forgive you. You have to stay married to her or this thing with Adrienne will look even more credible.”

  “But, man, that’s my biggest dilemma, because I refuse to be without my son. The church is important to me, but I won’t rest until he’s in the same house with me. And the only way to make that happen is to divorce Mariah and marry Charlotte.”

  “But why do you have to marry her? Why can’t you just be a father to your son?”

  “Because Charlotte won’t have it any other way. She’s made it very clear that if I even want to see him, these are the conditions.”

  “Then that’s a problem. Because the last thing you want right now is to end your marriage to Mariah and then immediately bring another woman into the picture. Those deacons at Truth just won’t go for that. Especially not after hearing that tape.”

  “Well, there’s got to be another way out,” Curtis said, but didn’t bother telling Tyler about his deal with Mariah and what she was going to tell the deacons.

  “There is,” Tyler said. “We just have to find it. But even putting all of that aside, the one thing you have to do is ignore this so-called suspension they’re talking about. You have to walk right into that church on Sunday morning, business as usual.”

  “That’s what I’d like to do, but I’m not sure how they’ll react.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about them, and as soon as I got there, I would walk into the pulpit, ask for everyone’s attention, and I would tell the congregation that any rumors they’ve been hearing are all lies. Because if you can get the majority of your members to support you, the deacon board will keep quiet. At least during service.”

  “Yeah, I think you might have something.”

  “Because, see, the thing is, you have to let everyone—not just the deacons—but everyone know who’s running that church. Remember we told you before. That’s your church. And you have to treat it as such if you want them to back down and respect you.”

  “Well, we’ll see what happens, but I’ll definitely be there on Sunday morning with Mariah. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about Charlotte, but maybe for the time being she’ll be willing to wait for me.”

  “Maybe, but I wouldn’t tell her the reason why, because it’s like I just told you. You can’t trust any of these women.”

  But Curtis really did think he could trust Charlotte. He didn’t know why exactly. But even though she was giving him an ultimatum and basically forcing him to marry her, he felt he could trust her.

  “Well, man, thanks for listening,” Curtis said. “And I’m sorry I had to call and bother you with this, but I really needed someone to talk to.”

  “Don’t even think twice about it. This pastor, deacon, congregation thing is a war, and ministers like us have to stick together. If we don’t, we’ll all be out on the street.”

  Both of them laughed.

  “I’ll give you a ring tomorrow or the next day,” Curtis said.

  “You take care, man,” Tyler said. “And be careful.”

  What a day. First it was another cold shoulder from Alicia, then Adrienne had played him for a knucklehead and dropped off that horrific tape. He cringed at the thought of his entire deacon board listening to the way he made love and the things he’d said. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to him—even worse than when the deacons at Faith had watched that videotape. Because at least then he wasn’t there to view it with them.

  Curtis drove into his driveway earlier than he had in weeks. He coasted into the garage, shut off the car, stepped out of it, and went into the house. Mariah was pulling out what looked to be some leftover spaghetti. Curtis threw his jacket on the chair, loosened his tie, and walked toward her. Mariah gathered her food and left the kitchen. She was candidly ignoring him. Now, he wondered if he should do what Tyler had suggested. He would still find a way to get rid of her, but for now maybe reconciling with her was the answer.

  She sat on the sofa, pulled her legs under her body and turned the TV to Lifetime Movie Network. Curtis deplored that channel, because all he ever saw were women being abused by a man. Either that or they were being cheated on. It even seemed like they used the same actors for every story. What he’d like to see was a channel that condemned women. One that proved how terrible women could be—specifically those like Adrienne.

  “So you’re not speaking?” he said, sitting opposite Mariah.

  “Hello,” she said, chewing and staring straight ahead. Then she looked down at her plate and forked up another helping.

  “That’s all? You don’t have anything else to say to me?” he said.

  “Curtis, why are you doing this? Last night you physically abused me, you called me a fat-ass, and now you’re acting like you’re happy with me again?”

  “I’m sorry about all that. I don’t know what came over me, and my actions were totally unacceptable.”

  Mariah turned back toward the television.

  “Something real terrible happened at the meeting tonight.”

  “Yeah, I know,” she said, glancing at him.

  “Who told you?”

  “Deacon Thurgood’s niece called me right after she spoke to her uncle.”

  Unreal. If the deacon’s niece already knew, how many other people had been told?

  “Well, you do know I’m being set up, right?” he said.

  “I don’t know anything. I wasn’t at the meeting, and I certainly wasn’t with you and your woman when she made that tape.”

  “But I was never with her. She called me over a month ago, trying to get me to meet her, but I told her no. I told her I was married, and that I wasn’t the same man I used to be.”

  “Uh-huh. So what’s her name, Curtis?”

  “Adrienne.”

  “Not the Adrienne you messed around with on Tanya?” she said, setting her fork on the plate.

  “Yes. And the only reason she’s doing this is because I married you and not her.”

  “So you were never with her?”

  “No. But now the deacons are saying they don’t want me in the pulpit on Sunday.”

  Mariah raised her eyebrows, and Curtis could tell she didn’t have much sympathy for him.

  “So, Mariah, you have to stand by me. I know I don’t deserve anything from you, but—” Curtis was saying when the doorbell chimed. “Are you expecting someone?”

  “No.”

  Curtis stood, walked down the hall past the living room, and opened the front door.

  “You lying no-good son of a bitch,” Adrienne said.

  “What are you doing here?” Cur
tis yelled.

  “Because I have every right to be. I’m your next wife, remember? You love me, remember?”

  “I think you’d better leave before I call the police.”

  “Huh. And you think I care about that?”

  “Who is that, Curtis?” Mariah said, coming toward him.

  “Nobody,” he said, closing the door.

  But Adrienne stuck her foot in the way of it.

  “Hi, Mariah. I’m Adrienne.”

  “If you know what’s good for you, Adrienne, you’ll get back in your car and leave here,” Curtis ordered.

  “Not until I talk to Mariah.”

  “What do you need to talk to my wife about?”

  “The fact that you’re planning to divorce her and marry me. The fact that you’ve been sleeping with me every chance you get. The fact that you went on and on about how terrible she is in bed.”

  “Curtis, is this true?” Mariah asked.

  “No!” he exclaimed. “I told you she’s trying to set me up.”

  “Now why would I do that, Curtis?”

  “Because you’re jealous of my marriage to Mariah, and because you know I don’t want anything to do with you.”

  “Whatever. But, Mariah, I really need to talk to you. You and I need to compare notes.”

  “Curtis, how does she know where we live?” Mariah asked.

  “I don’t know. She probably followed me.”

  “You’re damn right I did,” Adrienne admitted. “I followed your ass because I’m sick of you playing games with me.”

  “Look. That’s it. I’m closing the door, and if you don’t leave, I’m calling the police. Or better yet, I’m calling your husband.”

  “What husband?” Adrienne said, laughing. “I don’t have a husband, remember? He kicked me out years ago because of you.”

  Curtis didn’t know what she was talking about.

  “Yeah, that’s right, I lied to you, too. We’re divorced. And the only reason I told you I was still married was so you wouldn’t think you could be with me anytime you wanted. And I definitely didn’t want you thinking I’ve been waiting around for you all these years.”