In The Moment

by Alison G. Bailey

“Call him, Caddie.”

  Crawling onto the sofa, I said, “I can’t.”

  She went into the kitchen and made herself some coffee. “Cancer was such a waste on you.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I can’t understand it. You went through grueling treatment, lost your hair, and the man you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with is gone. And for what? You didn’t learn a fucking thing from the experience.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  She plopped herself in my overstuffed chair. “I know my best friend had been missing for two years. She finally came back six weeks ago when she found the love of her life, who, by the way, is completely destroyed over losing her.”

  “He’ll recover and see that it was for the best.”

  “But will you?”

  “Grace…”

  She slapped the side of my leg. “Get up. Clayton’s meeting us at Saffrons for breakfast.”

  “I’m not hungry. Besides, don’t ya’ll have work to do?”

  “It’s a holiday. So chop, chop.” I ignored her and stayed put. “Caddie, if you don’t get up and get dressed right this minute I will call Clayton over here to deal with this situation.”

  The only thing worse than Grace’s “help” was Clayton’s relentless nagging.

  I dragged myself into the sitting position. “I’m up.”

  I emerged from my bedroom ten minutes later wearing black yoga pants, an orange T-shirt, and sneakers.

  Grace looked me up and down. “Gee, thanks for the effort.”

  I shoved my phone into my purse. “Don’t push it.”

  “It’s a beautiful day outside. We’ll eat out on the patio. The fresh air and warm sun will do you a world of good,” Grace said, placing her hands on my shoulders and pushing me out the door.

  Clayton was already at the café when Grace and I arrived. The three of us placed our orders and took a table on the patio facing the quaint and busy street in the historic district. I stared blankly ahead at the people passing by.

  “Caddie, what do you think I should do?” Clayton asked.

  I glanced at him. “About what?”

  “Cute new teller Eddie asked me out.”

  “What about Ricardo?”

  “Ricardo’s being a bitch, taking me for granted.”

  “And?” I said, focusing back toward the street.

  “And I’m not sure if Eddie’s such a good idea since we work together.”

  “I vote no. It could get very sticky if you start up something.” Grace chimed in.

  “God, I hope so.”

  Having tuned out my friends, I continued to stare straight ahead, not paying attention to anything specific until I saw Luken’s mom, Terri. She was across the street at the crosswalk. The light changed, but she didn’t move from her spot. As people whooshed past, her head turned from side to side as if she was looking for something or someone. Then it dawned on me, she didn’t know where she was.

  I jumped up from the table. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Where are you going?” Clayton hollered.

  “Luken’s mom is across the street. I think she needs help,” I said, glancing over my shoulder.

  I was halfway across the sidewalk when suddenly Terri stepped off the curb and right into oncoming traffic. Horns blared, tires screeched, and people screamed. As if in slow motion a yellow cab slammed into an oblivious Terri.

  I raced over to her as fast as my legs would carry me. The cab driver, visibly shaken, got out of his car and ran up with his cell phone pressed to his ear. Terri let out one bloodcurdling scream after another.

  Kneeling beside her, I said, “Terri, it’s Caddie, Luken’s friend. Can you hear me?”

  “The ambulance is on its way. God, she came out of nowhere. I didn’t even see her,” the driver said.

  Touching the side of her face, I tried once again to get her to focus on me. “Terri, look at me.” Her light green eyes filled with fear and confusion found mine. “Everything’s going to be okay. I’m here.”

  A flash of recognition crossed her face. “Caddie?”

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  “You make my son very happy.”

  I blinked back tears as the roar of sirens filled the air. The EMT’s quickly ushered me to the side as they began to assess Terri’s injuries.

  “She has Alzheimer’s.” I told them.

  Out of nowhere Grace and Clayton were on either side of me.

  Clayton wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “It’s a good sign she didn’t lose consciousness.”

  Just then a police officer appeared in front of us. “Do any of you know the victim?”

  “Her name is Terri. Terri Schaffer.” I looked over his shoulder, keeping an eye on what the EMTs were doing.

  “I need your name and how you know Ms. Schaffer.”

  “Cadence Fletcher. I’m a family friend. And it’s Mrs. Schaffer.”

  “Ms. Fletcher, can you tell me what happened?”

  “I need to let her son know what happened,” I said.

  “The family will be contacted. I just have a few questions.”

  I glanced at Grace and she took the cue. “I’ll call him.”

  Grace pulled her cell phone from her jacket pocket and stepped away while I filled the officer in on what happened.

  As the EMTs were rolling Terri toward the ambulance, I rushed over to ask, “Is she going to be okay?”

  “She’s stable right now.”

  “Which hospital are you taking her to?”

  “Saint Mary’s is the closest. You can follow us over there.”

  I caught Terri’s gaze one last time before they loaded her into the back of the ambulance. I couldn’t tell if she recognized me or not. The doors closed and the ambulance drove off as Grace walked up.

  “Luken’s phone went straight to voicemail. I told him the basics of what happened and to meet you at Saint Mary’s.”

  “I need to… um… go. I don’t want her to be scared surrounded by strangers. Fuck, I left my purse…” Clayton handed it to me. “Shit, I don’t have my car.”

  Holding up her keys, Grace said, “Take mine.”

  Giving her an appreciative smile, I grabbed the keys.

  I wrapped both my arms around their shoulders, pulling them in for a group hug. “Thank you guys so much.”

  “Get out of here.” Grace pushed me back. “Let us know how she is as soon as you can.”

  I took a couple of steps back and nodded before turning and running to the car.

  When I pulled into the ER parking lot, they were just taking Terri out of the ambulance. I wasn’t sure of her mental state, but I wanted her to see a familiar face just in case. I followed closely behind as they rolled her through the entrance. Once inside they took her straight through a set of double doors and out of sight.

  I found an empty corner with a good view of both the entrance and the doors Terri disappeared behind. I wanted to have all the bases covered. Jen was the first to arrive, bursting through the entrance and straight to the nurse’s station. I didn’t know what her reaction would be finding me here. She and Luken were very close, no doubt he’d told her how I broke his heart.

  As I walked in her direction, her head turned toward me. Jen’s blue eyes changed from fear to relief at the sight of me. Without exchanging a word, we enveloped each other in a hug.

  “Caddie, thank god you’re here.”

  “I’m so sorry. If I’d only gotten to her quicker.”

  Jen pulled back. “Wait, you saw it happen?”

  “I was across the street. She looked lost. She was awake and recognized me for a brief minute before the ambulance came. My friend Grace tried to contact Luken, but it went straight to voicemail.”

  “I got a hold of him. He and Dad are on their way.” She paused. “Derek is out of town on business. Would you mind staying with me?”

  “Of course, I don’t mind.”

  Jen and I claime
d a couple of empty seats and waited.

  After a few minutes of awkward silence, she said, “Luken told me what happened.”

  She didn’t sound angry. I didn’t know how to respond so I just sat there.

  “He stayed with Derek and me over the weekend. I’ve never seen him this way before.”

  An ache spread across my chest. “I never meant to hurt him.”

  “I’m sure by now you’ve discovered Luken is not your typical twenty-five-year-old. He’s so much like Dad it’s scary. My brother doesn’t go into things blindly. He knows exactly what he wants. And he never questions his decisions.”

  “I want him to have a chance at the life he always dreamed of having.”

  She nodded in agreement. “He did up until a few days ago.”

  Looking down at my fidgeting hands in my lap, I was at a loss for words. Each time the entrance to the ER opened, I glanced up nervously but hopeful. I just needed to see him one last time before I left. After sitting with Jen in silence for about fifteen minutes, the energy in the crowded ER changed. I didn’t have to look up to know Luken had just walked through the doors.

  Lifting my gaze, I was met by a pair of intense and heartbroken blue eyes. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, but was still as handsome as ever with a light beard peppering his strong jawline. Jen jumped to her feet, making a beeline into her father’s arms. I hesitated for a moment before walking over to them. I didn’t want to make things more awkward, but I wanted them to know how sorry I was that I hadn’t gotten to Terri sooner. I had taken only a few steps when Tom rushed over and pulled me into a hug.

  “Caddie, thank god you were there with Terri,” he said.

  I peered over Tom’s shoulder to find Luken staring directly at me. Our eyes locked for several seconds before I forced myself to look away as I stepped out of Tom’s arms.

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t get to her sooner.”

  “No apology needed. I’m just thankful you were there, and she wasn’t alone.”

  “Please let me know how she is when you find out… If you don’t mind.”

  Before Tom could answer a doctor came out looking for the family.

  “Schaffer family?”

  “Yes,” Tom said.

  “I’m Dr. Cook.” The doctor and Tom shook hands.

  “Your wife has a mild concussion with a nasty bruise on her forehead. She also fractured her right wrist and three ribs. Other than that, she’s going to be just fine.”

  A collective sigh of relief filled the air.

  “I want to keep her overnight for observation. She’ll be able to go home sometime tomorrow.”

  Tom’s body visibly relaxed. “Thank you so much, Doctor. Can we see her?”

  “Absolutely. In fact, she’s been asking for all four of you. So Tom, Luken, Jen, and Caddie, head on back before I get in trouble.” Dr. Cook patted Tom on the shoulder before he walked away.

  I was touched, shocked, and confused that Terri included me. I had no intention of making everyone uncomfortable by joining them. Just as I was about to say my goodbyes, Jen hooked her arm around mine, and we followed Tom down the hallway with Luken not far behind. Once we got to Terri’s room, I held back in the doorway so that the family could share a private moment.

  Luken and Jen took turns giving their mother long hugs, whispering something to her. I was too far away to hear, but by the look on Terri’s face, I had no doubt they each said how much they loved her. Tom wasted little time sitting next to his wife and taking her uninjured hand in his. There was no hiding the way he felt. The love in his eyes as he looked at Terri took my breath away. My chest tightened with the realization that it was the exact same way Luken looked at me.

  Terri took her hand and ran it down the side of Tom’s face, attempting to smooth out the worried expression. “I’m going to be fine.”

  Blinking away tears, he struggled to hold on to his composure. “I know,” he said, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

  Luken and Jen looked at the sweet affection between their parents with a hint of sorrow in their eyes, knowing these moments would become fewer as Terri’s condition deteriorated.

  “Do you need anything?” Tom asked.

  Terri raised her eyebrows and smirked. “I’d kill for a Diet Pepsi and a bag of M&Ms.”

  “I knew that was coming. I’ll be right back.” Tom gave her a quick peck on the lips before sliding off the bed.

  Terri’s gaze followed him as he passed by me and out the door.

  “Caddie!” she said, holding up her uninjured arm.

  Before making a move, I glanced at Luken for permission. He gave me a slight nod and then looked away.

  “Thank you,” Terri said, as she hugged me.

  “I’m so happy you’re going to be alright.”

  “I’m so thrilled to have you in our family. Luken, don’t you ever let her go.”

  With his gaze laser focused on me, he said, “I won’t, Mom.”

  Either Terri was having one of her spells or Luken hadn’t told his parents we’d broken up. I bit my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. The room was closing in and suffocating me. I had to get out of there.

  I inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ll check in on you tomorrow.” I glanced over at Jen standing next to her brother. “If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me.”

  As hard as I tried to avoid it, my gaze locked with Luken’s for a second before I turned and left the room.

  I quickly walked down the hallway, holding my emotions in until I was in the privacy of my car. Passing the empty waiting room, I noticed Tom sitting in a corner chair with his head down and his shoulders shaking. Without giving it a second thought, I made my way over to him.

  Placing my hand on top of his shoulder, I said, “Tom, are you okay?”

  He looked up with tears in his eyes. “I will be.”

  I sat down in the chair next to him. “Terri’s going to be okay.”

  He nodded, wiping the tears from his face. “I spend so much time and energy preparing myself for what our future is going to be like, it never occurred to me that I could lose her in a split second. Isn’t that ridiculous?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “The second she walked into my family’s custom boat business, I knew I was in trouble.”

  “Love at first sight.”

  “Oh yeah. At that time, I wasn’t sure about anything in my life except Terri.”

  “I bet she was happy she walked into that boat shop that day,” I said.

  “Nah, she didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

  “You’re kidding? Why?”

  “I was a nineteen-year-old punk working for his dad, and she was a twenty-nine-year-old career woman serious about settling down and starting a family.”

  “I didn’t know there was a ten year age gap between the two of you.”

  “It’s not as obvious now because Terri still looks amazing and somewhere along the way I started looking old. So we’ve kind of met in the middle now.”

  “So how did you convince her to take a chance on that nineteen-year-old punk?”

  “Her father had hired us to design a sailboat. She stopped by the shop that day to pick up the plans. I was able to finagle a little information like where she worked and the places she liked to hang out. Then I just started showing up. Not in a creeper way, mind you. I was consistent and persistent.”

  “Now I know where Luken gets it from.”

  A proud grin crossed his face. “He is a chip off the old block.”

  “How long was it before you wore Terri down?”

  “Four months. She was stubborn. But in the end, she realized that, despite the age difference, we were meant to be. You know, even with the diagnosis, I still consider those four months without her the worst time of my life.”

  I reached over and touched his arm. Tom didn’t say anything for several seconds, but I sensed he wanted to. He took in a deep breath and let
it out slowly.

  “Luken told me about the breakup,” he said, a little hesitant.

  “I never meant to hurt him. I just want what’s best for him.”

  “Luken thinks you are what’s best for him.”

  “If he ends up having…” I swallowed a sob.

  “When we started letting family and friends know about the Alzheimer’s, a friend of mine actually commented that I should put Terri in a facility and divorce her. He said I should let someone else take care of her because she wouldn’t know the difference, anyway.”

  “Sorry, but your friend is an asshole.”

  “He’s my ex-friend and also a fucking bastard.”

  We exchanged faint smiles.

  “If someone had told me at nineteen that the love of my life would end up getting this disease, it wouldn’t have changed anything. None of us can predict the future. Back then I didn’t know if I’d continue in the family business or even if I wanted kids. But I knew my life was going to be amazing because Terri would be in it. This god damn disease eventually will take her, but it will never get its hands on the lifetime of memories we shared. The first time Luken told me about you, I knew he was in trouble. I hope he doesn’t have to wait another minute to start making memories with his Terri.”

  PULLING OUT OF the hospital parking lot, I headed home with Tom’s words echoing in my head. I was inspired by the love story he and Terri shared. It broke my heart knowing that one day she’d look at him and their children as if they were complete strangers. The fact that he could still be so thankful for the years they’ve had together was a true testament to their love and commitment. Instead of this disease tearing the family apart, it just strengthened their efforts to cherish the time they had and the time they had left.

  In all the years Michael and I were together, I never once pushed to define our future. He was a wonderful man, but we didn’t have that mystical magical connection. The one you feel deep inside your soul, letting you know that no matter what happens in life everything will work out simply because you’re together.

  Luken was my soulmate, and I wanted to give him anything and everything he desired. Letting him go was so he could have time to build the life he wanted. Then it occurred to me, I’d never asked him what he wanted. I was so damn sure I knew. Even the other night when he was trying to tell me, I dug my heels in, positive I was doing the right thing by him. Luken was a man who made his own decisions, and I had no right to take that away.