Freedom

by Beth Maria

“Come on. Let’s get you upstairs. You need to sleep.” She pouts but nods her head. It’s so fucking adorable.

  Getting her upstairs proves to be a task when she still has her hands wrapped around my neck, so when we are halfway up them, I lift her up and carry her bridal style the rest of the way to my room. I’ll sleep on the floor tonight, so that she can sleep in my bed. See, I can be a gentleman!

  I gently place her in the middle of my bed. She pulls on my neck, causing me to fall on top of her. “Oops,” she says and laughs, not making a move to let go of me and push me off.

  I’m in serious trouble. I can feel myself getting hard just from this close contact. Please don’t let her come onto me. I won’t be able to stop myself when I’ve dreamed about this for months.

  “You need to let go of me now, baby,” I tell her gently, though deep down, I’m hoping that she doesn’t.

  “I don’t want to,” she says, that adorable pout back in place. Aww man, I’m such a sucker.

  “How about I cuddle you until you fall asleep?” I ask, thinking of the next best alternative so that I can still have her in my arms.

  Instead of answering, she looks up at me through her lashes, giving me a look that I haven’t seen from her in months. My heart constricts at the sight. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed seeing this tender look in her eyes. I just wish she would look at me like this all the time.

  I watch as her eyes cloud from love to lust, causing me to let out a little groan. Before I can blink, she’s slowly crawling up my chest, barely touching her lips to mine. I feel it though. I feel it as if she kissed me properly. I’m that in tune to her touch. My lips tingle when she pulls back, seeing her bright blue eyes staring into mine, searching for something. I don’t know what, but she must have found what she’s looking for because her lips come crashing down on mine harder this time. My hands go straight to her hair, feeling it running through my fingers, while her hands run down my chest. Even though I’m wearing clothes, I can feel the heat from her hands go straight though my body, sending shocks through it with every touch. It’s always been this electrical between us.

  I gently tug her hair, trying to deepen the kiss with my tongue. She accepts me in right away, letting out a little moan, which reverberates straight to my core.

  I know I should stop this, knowing the state that she’s in, but do you know how long I’ve waited to be this close to Chloe? Too damn long! I’m such a jerk. I just dream to feel her naked body up against mine, or to even have her lips connected to mine, kissing me back in perfect sync.

  I feel her cold hands go under my t-shirt, running along my chest. My dick instantly goes rock hard from feeling her tiny delicate hands on me. I let go of her hair, running my hands down her back and grabbing her ass, needing to feel her closer to me.

  “I’ve missed you so much, Chloe,” I growl when she digs her nails into my chest.

  “Me too. You’re just such an ass, Jake, but I know no matter how much I try, I just can’t fall out of love with you,” she tells me when she’s pulled out of the kiss.

  This is the first time she’s ever admitted that she’s loved me. God damn it, why does she have to be drunk? Because she wouldn’t tell you this if she was sober, would she? The voice in my head reminds me.

  This is my opportunity to tell her how I really feel. She may remember in the morning and decide to give me a chance, or she won’t. It’s a chance I’m willing to take. “I love you too, Chloe, so fucking much. It’s killing me that you won’t give me a chance to explain.”

  “Shh,” she says before her lips come crashing back down on mine, silencing me.

  Chloe tugs at my t-shirt, lifting it up. I sit up and lift it off in one swift move, while she tries to get her dress off. My breathing hitches when I’m faced with Chloe just in her underwear. Jesus, my memory doesn’t do her justice. She is the epitome of perfect, even though I can tell that she’s lost a lot of weight. I know without asking her that it’s my fault. Everything is my fault…

  We just stare at each other for a few minutes, with my hands on her hips, rubbing her stomach with my thumbs, savoring the feel of her. I really hope I’m not dreaming right now, that or the alcohol is fooling me and I’m having the perfect dream. It wouldn’t be the first time.

  “Please tell me I’m not dreaming,” I ask her for clarification.

  She giggles, the sound music to my ears. I definitely don’t want this to be a dream. “You’re not dreaming,”

  “Thank God,” I say before pulling her flush against my bare torso.

  “I want you, Jake. Make me feel good,” she whispers in my ear, biting my earlobe. A shiver wracks through my body.

  “Are you sure?” I pull back, checking for any signs that she’s not. All I find is pure lust staring back at me.

  “I’m positive.”

  I spin us around so that I’m lying on top of her, being careful not to crush her. I pull down her panties, chucking them onto the floor, before my boxers follow suit. I’m nervous. The alcohol really isn’t helping at all. I feel like a virgin. It’s always like this with Chloe though. She turns me into a bundle of nerves, which is how I know that she’s the one for me.

  Stop thinking and just get it over with, you pansy!

  I lean back on top of her, slowly filling her. God, she’s so fucking tight! Is she not having sex with Evan? Actually, scratch that. I don’t want to know.

  Looking down at the beautiful woman beneath me, I smile before leaning down and giving her an affectionate kiss on the nose.

  “What are you waiting for?” Chloe asks confused.

  “I’m waiting for your walls to loosen up a bit. You’re squeezing him to death down there,” I tell her, to which she laughs. That movement causes my dick to pull out a tiny bit before going back in. I hiss through my teeth at the pleasure, and Chloe instantly stops laughing, letting out a little whimper instead.

  “This isn’t going to be fast. This is going to be slow and sweet. I need to show you how much you mean to me.” She just nods her approval.

  I pull nearly all the way out before slowly entering her sweet pussy over and over again. My body is shaking from the pleasure coursing through my body. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I thought my first time with Chloe was the best I’ve ever had, but this, after being deprived of her for months – because I was deprived – is the best feeling I’ve ever felt. I know when I come it’s going to be explosive. I’m so close to coming, especially when Chloe digs her nails into my ass as she moans.

  “Oh, Jake, I’m so close,” she moans breathily.

  I increase my speed, making sure to hit her sweet spot perfectly each time.

  “Oh God, Jaaaake,” she screams, her back arching off of the bed. That’s all it takes for me to lose control, joining her in ecstasy.

  When I’m all milked dry, I roll off of her, lying on my side and pulling her back into my chest. “Thank you,” I whisper, kissing her head. When she doesn’t reply, I take a look at her face, seeing that she’s already fast asleep. I turn off the light before falling into the most peaceful sleep I’ve had in months, with the love of my life wrapped safely in my arms, back where she’s meant to be.

  Chapter 4

  Chloe

  Ow, my head feels like it’s been run over by a truck. What the hell happened last night? I don’t remember much after I left the bathroom. I must have made it home somehow though…

  Yawning, I stretch, my hand, hitting something warm. What the hell? I slowly turn around, afraid of what I might find, only to come face to face with… Jake! Then I notice that we’re not in my room. We’re in his. What the freaking hell am I doing in his room, in his bed with him? Actually, I don’t want to know. I have a pretty good idea from the state of my nakedness.

  What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn’t thinking last night AT ALL, it seems. God, I’m such a freaking idiot! I knew going to the party was a bad idea, but I didn’t think it would end up this way. The guy who I hat
e more than life itself is in the same bed as me, both of us naked. It wouldn’t have happened if I had been sober! That’s it. I’m never drinking again, unless I’m nowhere near him.

  ARGH! I want to scream at the top of my lungs, and I would if it wouldn’t alert everybody to that fact that I’m a dirty whore who cheated on her boyfriend, who is most probably in the next room! I need a shower ASAP to rid myself of the dirt that I can feel.

  Quietly getting out of bed, trying not to wake up the jerk next to me, I search for my clothes, finding them in a pile on the floor next to Jake’s. I gulp. It definitely happened then. I quickly get my clothes on in record time, still being careful not to wake him up. I’m not in the mood to put up with him right now, or with whatever he has to say. I will deal with this another time, when I’m not so hung over, and when the guilt isn’t eating me up inside. Right now, I just want to leave without drawing attention to myself and forget about it for as long as possible.

  Putting my hand on the door handle, I try to open it quietly, but as I do, somebody opens it from the outside. I stand stock still, just watching the door open.

  “Hey, Jake, you seen Chl-” Evan asks, stopping when his eyes land on me. I watch as his heart breaks in front of me, his face draining of all color. I can practically see his heart shattering into a million pieces on the floor, and there is nothing I can do about it because it’s all my fault that it happened.

  “No worries. I found her,” he says quietly to nobody in particular.

  I stand still; my mouth and eyes open wide. This can’t be happening right now.

  We stand still, not saying anything, just staring at each other. Say something, you fool!

  “I-i-it isn’t what it looks like,” I stutter. Jesus, is that the best thing I can think of to say? Of course it’s what it looks like. He can’t be that stupid!

  “Oh yeah? Care to explain what it doesn’t look like?” he spits out, pointing to Jake who is starting to stir. Stay asleep, you tool! I don’t need you making this any worse than it is.

  Gone is the shocked guy, now being replaced by anger, anger which will be directed at me. I deserve it.

  I drop my eyes to the floor. What’s the point in lying? He knows deep down what’s happened. “I honestly don’t remember anything about last night,” I tell him dejectedly.

  “Well, how about I tell you what I think happened, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for me to reply. “I think you decided to get down and dirty with my best friend, with me in the other room. How could I have been so stupid? There’s always been tension between the two of you, though nobody ever explained why. I never really thought about it though. All those times when we were together, I never once thought you would sleep with my best friend. I thought you were different from all the other girls. You’re just as much as a whore!” he tells me, disgust evident on his face.

  I don’t say anything. He’s right; I am a whore. I had this wonderful guy who would have done anything for me, and I ruined it all for a guy who doesn’t even care about me.

  “What the fuck did you just call her?” Jake spits out acidly toward his best friend.

  “Leave it, Jake. He’s right,” I say, all the fight leaving me. This is another thing that I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life. How much guilt can one person have?

  “No, I won’t leave it,” he tells me. “Don’t you come into my room and insult Chloe. She didn’t do anything wrong. If you want someone to blame, then blame me, but not her,” Jake tells Evan, defending me. Why is he defending me? He’s going to end up falling out with his best friend, all because I made a mistake. I won’t be making that mistake again.

  I need to leave.

  “You’re both as bad as each other. You deserve each other, you know that? I’m done here.” He slams the door on his way out, the walls shaking from the force of it. I breathe out a sigh of relief that things didn’t get as messy as it they could have. Evan just gave up on me, and I don’t blame him. I guess it makes it easier to end things with him. He did it for me. I just wish we could have done it a better way, one where we were able to remain friends. I’m not stupid; I know there’s no chance of that anymore.

  Not looking at Jake, I tell him, “Well, I better be going.”

  “Wait. About last night…” He trails off.

  I look up at him, holding my hand up to stop him. “Last night never happened. Just forget about it and move on. I’ll see you around.”

  Just as I’m about to close his door, I hear him say, “I won’t forget about it because I love you.” I close his door and don’t stop walking until I’m outside, where I finally take a big breath and cry.

  I wish I hadn’t heard him say that last part. I just wish it was true and he actually meant what he said. I’m not stupid enough to believe that though. I’ve heard similar things from him before, and in the end, he ended up disappointing me. I won’t be making a fool of myself again when it comes to Jake Peterson.

  So why did my heart skip a beat when he said those three words, even though he thought I wouldn’t hear? Because the heart wants what the heart wants. I should realize this by now, and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can try and fight it. It’s already winning. I let my guard down when I had a drink last night, and look where I ended up. In Jake’s bed.

  I have to try and fight it for as long as I can though. We aren’t good for each other, and we both know that. One of us will end up hurting the other one eventually, and I’m not ready to have my heart shattered by him again. Not ready at all.

  I need to make sure that I definitely keep my distance from him from now on. I can’t afford to make this stupid mistake again.

  I don’t know how long it took me to reach my dorm. I’m surprised I even made it here. I don’t remember any of the journey home, just closing the door to my room and plopping down on my bed.

  “Good night, I take it?” Maisie shouts, making my head rattle.

  “Why the hell are you shouting for?” I ask, not amused.

  She laughs at me, the sound about to make my head explode. I put my fingers to my temples and gently massage. I didn’t feel this headache until just now. I don’t think it helped that I’ve had a lot to think about on the way home either. I think I have brain overload right now.

  “Where did you get to last night? Evan couldn’t find you, and we left around one. You didn’t want us to wait for you, did you?” I just look up at her accusingly. “Oh shit, you did, didn’t you? I thought you were going to stay with Evan.” Maisie says shocked, rambling and trying to make everything better. Nothing will make anything better unless she has a time machine so I can rewind to before the party. I could have made sure that I stayed here, and my life wouldn’t be even more screwed up that it already is.

  It’s not her fault though. I’m just pissed off with myself. “No, it’s fine. I never told you that I wanted to come home.”

  “Did Evan find you in the end?” I look down to the floor, trying to think of what to say. I can’t exactly say, “Yeah he found me in your brother’s bed”, can I?

  “Chloe, did he?” she pushes when I still haven’t answered her question.

  “Oh, for God’s sake! He found me in your brother’s room. You happy now?” I snap, my head about to explode with all the questions. I watch her mouth drop open in shock, her eyes wide. She doesn’t say anything, and I welcome the peace - well, while it lasted anyway.

  “He what?” she splutters out.

  I sigh. “Please don’t make me say it again.”

  “No, I think you need to say it again. I don’t think I heard you correctly.” She shakes her head, blinking her eyes rapidly at me.

  “I said - He. Found. Me. In. Your. Brother’s. Room,” I tell her, punctuating every word. I’m ashamed to be saying it again, but I need to talk to someone about it. I can’t deal with keeping another secret to myself. All of these secrets are slowly destroying me.

  “Wow.” Is that all she has to say? What happened to my best
friend who likes to know everything and give me advice?

  I just nod my head.

  “Please tell me you didn’t sleep… I can’t even say it.” She motions with her hand for me to tell her.

  “I don’t know. I can’t remember anything from last night,” I whisper, watching as she just nods her head, trying to process everything.

  “Do you want me to ask Jake and find out for you?”

  “NO! Definitely not. I just want to forget about it. I’m pretty sure we did though. I woke up, and we were both naked, so unless he likes to sleep naked and took my clothes off, as well as my underwear, I’m positive that we did the nasty.” I mentally cringe at having to talk about this with her. Jake’s her brother. God only knows what she’s feeling right now, but I need someone to talk to about this, and she’s the only person who will understand.

  “Right, yeah, it would make sense if you were both naked,” she shudders. “What did Evan do?”

  I sigh. This is the part I’m not looking forward to telling her about. She’s going to think I’m such a horrible person, and then she’ll remind me that she was right when she told me to end it with him weeks ago. I agree with her. I just wish I had’ve taken her advice. Maybe that way I could still be friends with Evan, instead of him hating my guts and having fallen out with his best friend. I’m a home wrecker, whether I want to admit it or not. I may have not ruined a relationship between Jake and Evan, but I’ve ruined a friendship. When you’re as close as those two were, it’s near enough as bad. “I was just about to escape without Jake waking up, when Evan walked in, asking him if he’d seen me. He didn’t have to look very far. His eyes landed on mine as soon as the door opened fully, and I could literally see him working it out in his head what might have happened. Then I saw his heart break. He was a good guy, Maisie, and I broke his heart. I didn’t even have the decency to break it off with him first. I was going to do it today, so we could hopefully still be friends, you know, no hard feelings and all that? I guess I don’t have to now. He told me that we’re finished. I’m not sad that we’re over. I just wished it had ended better. He was a really great guy, someone who I could talk to and be myself around. We could have been really great friends,” I ramble, telling her everything I feel that doesn’t include her brother. God, it feels good to get some of it off of my chest.