In the Shadow of His Wings

by Pamela Wells

  Her and mother would butt heads at the smallest of things and end up in the loudest of screaming matches. Not now though, Christine was respectful and humble. Gerhard wondered where she had learned that. From what Gerhard could see he thought that at first his mother didn’t like the change and missed the challenge of the fight. With time she came to really love and appreciate the change in her daughter. He hated to think of what his mother would be like if Christine were to succeed in an escape attempt. He shuddered at the thought. She would be impossible to live with! The more he thought about it the more he realized he wouldn’t have to live with her at all. If Christine, or rather Laura, escaped then she would go straight to the police and he would be arrested.

  Then what would happen to his mother? There was no way Hilda could manage life on her own. She hadn’t even been out of the house in years. Of course there’s always the possibility that the police would arrest Hilda too, she was after all, an accessory. Gerhard thought of his mother in prison and cringed. She wouldn’t last a day. He resolved to make every effort to ensure that Laura did not escape from her basement prison. He would show her the newspaper article and let her believe that he had hurt her daughter.

  He knew it was a cruel thing to do but it was necessary to keep this woman under control.

  He could live with the nightmares. Eventually he was sure his nerves would settle down.

  With summer coming and the tourist season picking up he would be too busy to worry about anything else anyway.

  Laura paced about her basement prison as much as her chain would allow. She looked down at her chain with disgust. She hated it with every fiber of her being. She thought she should be used to it by now. Some days she honestly didn’t give it much thought but at times she thought it would drive her insane. The skin on her wrists had grown tougher and used to the wear of the handcuff so that wasn’t a problem but the constant pull of the weight of the chain was annoying. She was often woken up during the night by the chain becoming tangled in her legs or just the weight of it pulling at her arm. Many times she had dreamt that the chain was a paper one and that she was able to easily tear it off and then laugh at how silly she was to have put up with it for so long, but then morning would come and the cruel reality of the steel chain would greet her. Other nights she would dream she fell into a deep lake and the weight of the chain would pull her down, unable to rise to the surface for air, she would panic, knowing she was drowning. She had told Hilda how much she hated the chain and she had actually seen signs of a softening heart in the woman and thought she might be getting somewhere with her, but after her latest escape attempt she knew there would be no relief of the chain in sight. She was stuck with it.

  Laura continued to pace nervously about the basement. Normally she did this in an attempt at exercise but lately it was done more out of nervousness. She knew that Gerhard was furious with her over her recent escape attempt. She was terrified at what he might do to her daughter. She had practically worn the picture of Lacey out, handling it so much as she prayed over her daughter. Laura trusted God and she knew she should have faith. At the same time she couldn’t help but feel afraid of what Gerhard would do.

  He was a confusing man. Sometimes he seemed so nice, almost sweet. He could be so kind and thoughtful. Laura saw this side of him often in the gifts he brought both her and Hilda and the way he brought food for them. He didn’t just bring food but he took pleasure in bringing food that he knew they liked. He went out of his way to get their favorites. He enjoyed presenting the food to them in attractive dishes and appealing settings. It was obvious that their pleasure was important to him. The gifts he brought them at Christmas and for Laura’s, or rather Christine’s birthday, showed a great deal of thoughtfulness. So how could such a kind and thoughtful man also be capable of kidnapping a woman, holding her prisoner, keeping her from her own husband and children? The only way Laura could make any sense of it was to believe that Gerhard was mentally ill. Somewhere in his mind he believed he was doing the right thing. He must think that by bringing her here for the sake of his mother, he was being a good son and that made everything ok.

  Laura was also quite aware of the fact that Gerhard was not a stupid man.

  Anyone who could own and run a major hotel was not an idiot. She looked around the basement; he had clearly put a lot of thought into this prison of hers. She had tried several times to reason with him and get him to let her go. He refused to even listen to her. Of course he would know that if she left here the police would arrest him for kidnapping, and so he dismissed her arguments and wouldn’t even discuss the matter with her. What scared Laura most was when she was alone with Gerhard and he still acted like she really was Christine. Laura felt sick to her stomach when he acted that way.

  When he was angry with her and threatened Lacey, then it was clear he knew she was Laura and that she had a family outside of this basement. It was during those moments that she got a glimpse into the inner mind of Gerhard Bloone and she didn’t like the sickness that she saw there. The man was clearly unbalanced and Laura wondered if he was nearing a mental breakdown of some sort. What if something happened to Gerhard when he was at work? What if he had a total breakdown, or what if he just snapped and killed himself? What if he had a car accident and died? What would happen to her and Hilda then? Laura didn’t know if Hilda had a key to her handcuff or not and if she did, would she let her go? Hilda wasn’t exactly a rational woman herself and if something happened to Gerhard then she would no doubt cling even tighter to Laura. Laura’s stomach churned as these fears ran through her mind.

  Laura went to her room and although she felt weak with fear she knew where to turn for strength and peace. She turned to the word of God. Pulling out her bible she sought God for comfort, knowing He was the only one that could calm her fears and the only one that could give her peace. She could do the ‘what if’ game all day and find herself no where except for in the pit of depression. That was not a place she wanted to go. She turned to Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Well God, I sure don’t understand why I’m in this situation; I don’t understand this chain or this basement. I don’t understand Gerhard or Hilda, but I CHOOSE to trust in You, so that’s what I’m going to do. I purpose to trust in You. I am so weak Lord, I tremble with fear on my own. I choose not to walk in that fear but rather to lean on Your strong arms and let You carry me through this.

  Laura heard Hilda come down the stairs and turn the TV on. Looking at the TV

  she saw it was time for the afternoon soap operas. She thought about whether she would join her in watching them today or not. She remembered when she watched them years ago how easily she became hooked on them. It didn’t take long at all before she was caught up in the story lines and found that she couldn’t tear herself away from them each day. She was amazed that after all these months in the Bloone basement she wasn’t at all addicted to Hilda’s soaps. She watched them occasionally in order to keep Hilda company and in hopes of developing a relationship with the woman. She couldn’t help but follow some of the story lines yet she didn’t feel at all drawn into them. She couldn’t care less who was in love with who. There was one story line that did catch her interest for a little while. It was about a woman who was kidnapped. She was abducted by an evil twin sister. Big surprise there! Soap operas were famous for their ‘evil twin’ story lines. This evil twin kept her sister captive in the bottom of an old abandoned well. It was a horrible, cold, and damp place. Watching those episodes did make Laura appreciate the fact that her prison was at least a reasonably comfortable one. She had a nice bed and bathroom. She was kept warm and well fed. It allowed her to see that even amidst all her heartache she had things to be thankful for. Laura went into the living room and sat with Hilda to watch the soaps. Hilda only watched for a few minutes before she fell fast asleep. Laura looked over at the large woman with concern. Her complexion was very pale. Laura thought she didn’t look well at al
l. Hilda started to snore loudly, so loud she actually woke herself up. She stirred in her chair and Laura got them each a drink.

  “Are you feeling ok mom?” Laura asked with concern.

  “Yes I’m fine, why?” Hilda muttered as she opened her can of soda and gulped most of it down in one swallow.

  “You don’t look so good, kind of pale. I’m worried about you. When was the last time you saw a doctor? Maybe you should go get a check up or something.” Laura took hold of Hilda’s hand and was concerned at how clammy it felt.

  “Nonsense, I don’t need to see a doctor. They will just tell me I’m too fat. I already know that. Nothing else is wrong, I’m fine.” Hilda pushed Laura’s hand away and turned her attention back to the TV, clearly dismissing Laura and her concerns.

  “Mom, can I ask you something?” Laura refused to be ignored.

  Hilda sighed, “I guess so, what?”

  “Do you believe that you will go to Heaven when you die?” Laura decided to be blunt.

  “Well first of all I’m not dying so you can put that thought out of your mind.

  Secondly when that day comes, yes, I suppose I do believe I will.” Hilda spoke her answer and then waited for Laura’s response, knowing that this was not the end of the discussion.

  “Why do you believe you are going to go to Heaven mom?” Laura asked.

  “Because I’m not a bad person, that’s why. I’ve done the best I could with my life. I’m not perfect, but no one is.” Hilda shrugged her shoulders and tried to brush Laura off and turn back to her TV. It was clear the subject was not a comfortable one for her. She would just as soon not get into it, but Laura had no intentions of letting the subject drop and pushed onward.

  “Mom, according to the bible, being a good person isn’t enough to get you into Heaven. I have another question for you. Would you say that God is a loving God? That He is forgiving, all powerful, knowing and perfect?” Laura asked.

  “I don’t know, I never really thought about it.” Hilda was getting frustrated now as she turned towards Laura. “I suppose He would have to be wouldn’t He. I mean He’s God isn’t He? So He would have to be all those things. So I would answer yes to that question. Do you have another question for me, miss smarty pants?”

  “First of all you are right; the bible says that God is all those things and yes I do have another question for you, one more. How would you describe people? Do you think people are basically good, giving and loving, or do you think they are destructive, greedy and selfish?” Laura was pleased that Hilda was at least paying attention to her questions and getting into the discussion. She knew Hilda liked to debate but she would rarely discuss anything during her soaps. Laura thought she might actually be hitting a nerve here.

  “I’ve known only a few really good people in my life time. So I would say that overall I think most people are greedy and selfish. If you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will. My own father taught me that one. So what’s your point? I’m sure you have one.” Hilda waited for Laura.

  “Yes I do. According to the bible, God is holy and perfect and He can’t live with man that is sinful and disobedient. God said that the punishment for sin is death and since all men live in sin they deserve to be punished. God did not want to send people to hell. You see mom, God loves all of us so much, and He loves each one of us individually. He doesn’t want you to go to hell. That’s why He sent Jesus. He sent Jesus, His only son, to take the punishment for us. All you have to do is accept and believe that Jesus died for your sins. You ask Him to forgive you for your sins and invite Him into your life. You then turn away from your sin and live for Him. That’s how you get to Heaven.” Laura looked at Hilda hopefully. Please Lord; let this be the day that she opens her heart up to You. Soften her heart Lord and lift the blinders from her eyes.

  Help her to hear Your voice!

  Hilda sat there and listened to Laura speak words that she had heard her say before, but this time she felt a tugging at her heart that she couldn’t explain. She wanted to tell Laura to be quiet and leave her alone. She wanted to watch her TV shows and not think about it. At the same time she felt something pulling at her but didn’t understand it.

  She was about to ask Laura a question but before she could, Gerhard came down the stairs.

  “You’re home early.” Hilda said, annoyed at being interrupted.

  “Don’t mind me; you ladies continue your conversation.” Gerhard went past them and into Laura’s room, closing the door. Laura stood up, concerned about what he was doing in her room, a small knot of fear forming in her mind.

  Christine, you have been pushing Jesus at me since you got here. Why?” Hilda asked.

  This was a question Laura was glad to answer as she tried to ignore the fact that Gerhard was in her room.

  “Mom, because He is your friend, He is your savior and He loves you!” Laura hugged Hilda with tears in her eyes, she wanted so desperately for Hilda to accept Jesus into her heart. Hilda patted Laura on the back but still wasn’t totally convinced that Jesus was what she needed. It just all sounded so simple. Part of her wanted to just say the words to make her daughter happy and get her to be quiet about it. She was getting tired of the same old discussion. The girl was like a broken record. She was spared from the decision of what to say and how to handle it by Gerhard emerging from Christine’s room.

  “Mom lets go upstairs and work on supper. Christine I left something on your bed for you to look at.” Gerhard helped his mother stand and led her up the stairs.

  Laura was disappointed that her conversation with Hilda was interrupted. She didn’t have much time to think about that as she walked hesitantly to her room. She couldn’t help but feel that knot of fear growing in size as she approached her doorway.

  She knew that Gerhard had been working on something to punish her for her escape attempt and this must be the moment. He had taken Hilda upstairs so she would be alone to deal with it. Jesus I need You! Hold me close. Gerhard had been alone in her room for a few minutes so the first thing Laura did was walk past her bed and go to her dresser checking to see if the picture of Lacey was still safely tucked inside. She was relieved to see that it was still there. She slowly and reluctantly turned towards her bed. There sitting on her pillow was Lacey’s textbook. The one that Gerhard had brought her the day he had reminded her of his threat to hurt her daughter if she didn’t cooperate. He must have hunted around her room looking for it. She was grateful he didn’t take it but she wondered why he left it on her bed. She went to it, reaching for it with trembling hands.

  Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest and her legs felt weak with fear. As she picked up the book she could see the edge of a newspaper article sticking out from between the pages and she gently pulled it out. As she read the headline ‘Young Woman Found Badly Beaten’ her legs buckled and she heard a scream echoing in her room, not realizing for a moment that the scream was coming from her own mouth. She read the article as her thoughts raced, trying to make sense of the whole thing. There was no mention of any names and she knew there was a chance that this wasn’t actually Lacey but then she thought that it must be. Gerhard had indeed carried out his threat and gone after her daughter. Oh God, my poor Lacey! Laura’s whole body began to shake as sobs consumed her. She crumpled onto the floor weeping uncontrollably. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

  Words to pray at that moment wouldn’t come. Her thoughts went to Jim and how hard this must be on him. He would no doubt be at the hospital, sitting at Lacey’s bedside praying for her recovery. The article said they didn’t expect her to make it through the night. Laura knew that Jim wouldn’t leave Lacey alone for a second. No doubt Josh would be there as well. Poor Josh! He and Lacey were close. This would be hard on him. Tears continued to pour down Laura’s face. Laura turned the article over and noticed that Gerhard had written something on the edge of the back of the clipping. She wiped her eyes as she read what he had written.

  “Now I expect you will behave or Josh will
be next.” Laura sucked in her breath, clutched the newspaper article and book close to her, rocking back and forth on the floor, sobbing. She knew at that moment that Gerhard had totally broken her. From that moment on she would do whatever it was he wanted her to do.

  Chapter 21

  Hilda unpacked the food Gerhard had brought home from the restaurant.

  Opening the containers to see what there was. Prime rib, baked potatoes and cauliflower with a cheese sauce. It smelled wonderful but for some reason she had no appetite and the aroma didn’t appeal to her. She barely looked at the food as she took the containers out of the bags. Gerhard got some fresh vegetables out of the fridge for a salad. He smiled to himself as he thought of Laura downstairs reading the newspaper article. He did feel a small twinge of guilt at the pain she must be feeling. He quickly pushed that aside as he mentally patted himself on the back for the brilliant way he handled her punishment. Laura was properly disciplined. He didn’t even have to get his hands dirty.

  Gerhard didn’t expect that Laura would be any trouble after today. He suspected that he could even take her handcuff off and she would stay put in the basement with no problem at all. He would not take that risk of course, but the thought that he probably could was very satisfying. He washed all the vegetables for the salad and set them on the table with a cutting board and knife for his mother to prepare. She preferred to do this task herself as it was one she could do sitting down. Gerhard turned back to his mother to tell her the salad ingredients were all ready. Hilda was gasping for breath as she collapsed to the floor. He rushed over to her side, deep concern on his face and panic in his voice,